I've been reading about these guys that have an ATF and how great it all is... yadda, yadda.

Sure, I've been having some really fun sex with the girls I've seen so far. Some GREAT sex with a couple. Have written reviews, have skipped writing some reviews. Its all sort of a blur...  until this weekend.

I'm married so I can't go falling for anyone... and I won't. But HOLY SHIT! I met a woman this weekend that just knocked the wind out of me (no review written and I may not).

She's done with boyfriends thanks to some jerkoff that showed her what 'asshole' means. I could punch the guy, but I'd rather hug him for freeing up this incredible spirit.

Anyway, I'm really kind of stunned to have 'connected' like this. I think on both sides it ended up being more than sex for pay... though that's how it has to stay. I was pleased and surprised to receive some follow-up communication the like of which has never happened before, and which to me confirmed something struck her as well.

Not sure what kind of advice I'm looking for... I was just really caught off guard. Anyone else had to manage staying in life with a woman you love & cherish, and always will love (my wife) with a "Provider" that you connect with on much more than just a sexual level?

Whenever there is a post about beyond bounds provider relationships, there are mostly warnings that most are doomed to fail, and the warnings for the most part are true!

However, I've gone beyond bounds four times and am heading in to the fifth now as we speak, about to embark on an off the clock weekend away with a new flame.

First of all.... recognize that sometimes your interpretation of her interest can be mistaken.  She may very well enjoy you more than her other clients and be encouraging you to keep you coming.  But you may find that it is still only an enjoyable client she is seeing .... still a client.  In that case, enjoy her!  And keep it in bounds.

If there is really something there on both your parts, the fact that you intend to stay married needs to be honestly communicated to her for honesty sake and to establish the ultimate boundaries.

And.... if she is truly interested in you, beware!  I've had instances where the beyond bounds went bareback only to learn she was not on birth control.  Two of the women I went beyond bounds with were looking for a rescue and I think that is more common than we realize.

Finally, if you and she can enjoy the connection, establish the ultimate boundaries (i.e. you staying married) and hold the relationship with an open hand... then you may find a wonderful connection and friendship.

The hardest thing I faced being in the same boat with the one I fell head over heels in love with was the reality of my marriage severely limiting how much time we could spend together which severely strained the relationship over time.

Finally recognize that if she knows the ultimate boundary of you staying married and is any business woman at all, she'll heed what one favorite in bounds provider once told me:  Why on earth would I turn a very desirable and enjoyable paying client who was not truly available for any real long term relationship in to a freebie?

It goes a little something like THIS-

"Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger..
But she ain't messin' wit no broke niggas!
Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger..
But she ain't messin' wit no broke niggas!

......

18 years, 18 years
She got one of yo' kids, got you for 18 years
I know somebody payin' child support for one of his kids
His baby momma's car crib is bigger than his
You will see him on TV, any given Sunday
Win the Superbowl and drive off in a Hyundai
She was supposed to buy ya shorty Tyco with ya money
She went to the doctor got lipo with ya money
She walkin' around lookin' like Michael with ya money
Shoulda' got that insured, GEICO for ya moneeey(your money)
If you ain't no punk holla' we want pre-nup
WE WANT PRE-NUP!, yeah
It's something that you need to have
'Cause when she leave yo' ass she gon' leave with half
18 years, 18 years
And on her 18th birthday, he found out it wasn't his?"


What, you've never heard of this song?? Well maybe in addition to GETTING AN STD TEST, you should MEMORIZE the lyrics! Use the BIG HEAD for once...  Seriously folks. OY VEY!!!

as you know.  I was working out of town getting home only on week ends and with a lot of spare cash.  I had one regular who was in the same city.  She and I shared regular and wonderful companionship, cuddles, and great sex.  I was and remain happily married.  A few things kept it real and safe: 1) She has a great head on her shoulders and would never have let things drift even if I had been screwy. 2) I am basically a slut and saw at least two other professional ladies from out of town regularly.  I loved seeing them as well.  I also have/had a number of friends with benefits who I saw.  

There can, as you know, be danger because you can become really attached.  Even given this, it is often well worth the risk: it was, for me, an exceptionally rewarding relationship that lasted a few years and still brings a smile to my face.  

I hope this is your experience as well.

the problem is, YOU can love more than 1 person at a time.  Just don't let your wife find out.  But true polyamory all parties consent to a loving relationship, no boundaries.  I think this can and does happen, but in your case would your wife be willing to share? Read my thread it may help, similar content "Is it real or is it memorex?"

When you divide gold, there is less of it.  When you divide love, there is more of it.  Enjoy it and heed the management advice already posted.

is either a talent or an acquired taste, but a necessary ingredient if you are going to be able to enjoy LTRs with GFE providers. Its hard not to have some feelings when you regularly enjoy the company of a provider, and when you treat each other with kindness and compassion, and perhaps come to know each other very well, in addition to enjoying passion together. It is possible, you know, to love your SO and also share an affection with someone else. But it is required to have a bit of a disciplined perspective....

hmmm... I do after all live in Utah!

Have to keep things in perspective.


Simone

providers have a way of seduction and evoking feelings SO's dont.  they just have that 'special thing'....that's why its a very lucrative business ...just a thought