She probably doesn't want to warn others of what is/is not on her menu. For example, some providers don't want to give BBBJ to any and all and get selective so they don't want the unshaven or guy that she suspects may not be clean to get the same as others. She'll also claim privacy and other BS, while simultaneously putting her pictures (faceless or not) all over the 'net in ads, web sites, etc. I found out about a provider that tried to remain nameless and review-less, but she failed to disguise her tattoos and piercings, so I knew who she was while claiming she only saw a couple of guys to help her out. Still some providers want to remain under the radar so to speak and I understand that to a degree, but if she is a rip off or scammer, write at least a mini or call her out in a thread on her regional board.

She just plain doesn't want reviews. There are plenty of girls out there just like her.

I'm a little confused. I'm assuming you have seen her already since she asked you not to write a review. Why are you concerned?

If a lady is providing service as advertised, is the girl in the pics, and its clear the pics were accurate, then respect her request not to be reviewed. Its her choice. This isn't Consumer Reports. This is review sites of an activity that is illegal. If a lady is not comfortable with gentlemen blabbing all the details, that is her call to make.

Of course, if you just have to write a review after being asked not to, or insist on including details you were asked to omit, that is your perogative. That is a quick way to find yourself on a blacklist. Discretion is a two way street. If you want, give it.

Other than the obvious (poor performance, ad and provider reality aren't even close, etc.) why might a provider request I not post a review on her?  I'm having this experience now with an unreviewed provider in Vegas that I saw on the ER*S Guide ad site.

Thanks.

h43

The provider may have done things (e.g., deep kissing, extra time, bbbj) to/for you that she may not be willing to do to/for other customers.

If she is on EROS she is not under the radar.  As a member of this site I believe it is your duty to post.  Now if she already had many reviews of similar quality i can understand not posting but as an unreviewed I can only think of you got special treatment as a YMMV or other conection.  The next guy wont and that would be a disservice.  But use your judgement as this was your time, effort and money.

Privacy in one way or another is one big one.  Especially if there is a custody battle going on and the Ex will use it against her.  Or if she is in a high viz job, or family issues (parents, etc).  Yes, some then show poor judgement with their ads but that is a seperate issue and not all do.

A second one is stalkers.  Some guys fixate, and the more reviews they see the angrier and clingier hey get.  In the extreme it can be dangerous for her.

And then some have all the work they care to have and do not want a flood of e-mails and inquiries.  This is especially true for ladies who do this part time and have a few regulars.  All they are looking for is an occasional new guy, often for their own variety interests.

So long as she was not dangerous or a rip off I would respect her wishes whatever the reason.

that this is a good ol' boys club, but let's keep in mind what the goal is here at the end of the day. If the OP wishes to even consider ever seeing the lady in question again, his best bet in succeeding in this venture is to not piss her off by disrespecting her wishes. There exist MANY valid reasons why a lady might wish to remain reviewless.

Claim all you want that advertising makes her "above" the radar, but there is a very clear difference between having an ad up for time/companionship, and having an explicit review connecting the dirty details of sex and money. Companionship (what is advertised on many, if not most Eros ads) is legal; prostitution-the exchange of sex for money-is not. That whole "this is a fantasy website with fantasy stories" statement may somehow provide some measure of protection to TER and it's owners/operators, but I can assure you that statement would not do a thing for a lady or gentlemen if they got their rear end hauled into court and was sized up nicely with a slew of reviews written by or about the said defendant.

Plain and simple, reviews are indiscreet, which is quite the irony in a lifestyle that supposedly builds itself on discretion. I choose to allow them, because I think it especially important in an uptight city like Chicago that gentlemen gain a measure of comfort that I am legitimate, and that I'm also worth the particular rates and time minimums I request. However, provided she is neither a danger or a ripoff (to which the OP suggested she is not) I both understand and support a lady's decision to not have reviews, and TER does too. You do realize that even if he were to post a review, she could request her review profile be taken down, yes?

That's just it. I have not had the date yet; it's set for this Friday.

Over half of my total hobby appointments have been with women who do not wish to be listed, much less reviewed, on TER or, interestingly enough, have either been voluntarily or involuntarily delisted.

Every woman who doesn't want to be reviewed on TER has her own reasons; and only she would know them. Perhaps if the hobbyist asked her, he could evaluate the reasons for himself and assess their validity. Especially if an appointment was good, if she doesn't want to be reviewed, she may have a good reason worth hearing.

My personal view is that when a woman hangs out her shingle as open to the public, like any other business she can't pick and choose who gets in touch with the BBB about her. So she has no right to have you not review her. The moment she accepts even one penny from you, she has given up her normal right to privacy in these matters unless other consideration has overridden that.

However, especially when doing so will not pose a risk to the community at large, due to the highly personal nature of the service, accommodating her wishes is permissible. Not required, but permissible; particularly if she has a good reason.

LOL

There is a difference between the overall principle I am expressing (i.e. that a woman engaged in a business has no right to expect customers NOT to review her offerings); and what I might choose to do at a personal level for a variety of reasons. But even if I might personally choose to honor a woman's wish not to review her, the fact remains that the choice is mine -- and no longer hers -- once I have paid her.

You are just going to have to accept the fact that you are seeing a lady with no reviews.  It might be great or it might not be. I've seen quite a few ladies with no reviews or TER presence over the years and the experiences have ranged from OK to great.  Obviously there are no guarantees in the hobby just as there are none in life...

privacy and don't want to have a profile on a review site...some clients do not appreciated to learn that she did this and that with x and y guys

Well put..great answer!!

i guess i dont need to woorry about seeing you 2

This isn't Starbucks. There are real life consonances if she is found to be providing. Stalkers are a real concern. LE is also a major concern as this is a crime hear in the US. Reviews can be used against her in family law situations. Then there is the social stigma thing to worry about. Respect and discretion is a two way street. If you put out her information when asked not to, and she is on the up and up, you are showing disrespect to her as a person.

With almost any other business I would agree but in this business even a good review could do great amount of personal damage to the lady. It is a small courtesy to be discreet, and if she is an honest provider why not grant her that? If she is a rip-off all bets are off.

This is what I'm going to do, thanks. I'll post an update next week.

H43

Since I do not have bad sessions and hence there is no community need for reportage, I have the relative luxury of being able to deal with the very few providers I see on a less business-like level. Therefore I am perfectly okay with seeing "behind closed doors" time as something mutually owned and not the province of the client alone.  Quite frankly, I *like* the few providers I see as complete people, so their desires carry a lot of weight with me.

However, I see this as an atypical situation.

If a woman has advertised her services on Eros, Cityvibe, Backpage, etc. -- she is undertaking, right there, and even if I never see her, an enormous risk. And if she allows herself to be listed on TER (something she has the power to prevent, incidentally), she is likewise exposing herself to enormous risk.

I really fail to see how, if a woman is running a multi-hundred dollar ad on Eros, and is already listed on TER with reviews, MY review, uniquely from all else she is doing, poses a special and enhanced risk to her.

IF she were to tell me that it did and how it did; I would naturally be sympathetic because that's just my personal nature.

But my point is that when she is running ads on nationwide venues, has herself listed as an escort on a review site and is accepting money for service, she really has surrendered that privacy in most cases and has no right to expect no reviews UNLESS that is a condition of her service that is known to the hobbyist up-front.

A provider cannot generally expect to have her cake and eat it too. With someone like you or I, she may in fact be able to do so. But she shouldn't count on it generally.

a genius!

-- Modified on 2/22/2011 8:18:54 AM

One of my most favorite encounters was with someone who didn't want me to write a review, even though it would have a been a great review. She said she did this on the side for fun and of course the xtra cash but wanted to br UTR. I respected her wishes and never wrote one.

It is a personal and private experience. What I do or don't do with you I may or may not do with someone else. Also... It is between two people why does the whole world need to know what two adults do in the bedroom......

You actually seem like you have some sense of ethics.

... I would be a failure as a politician. I guess we can't have it all!  (*grin*)