As some of you know I was attempting to have a relationship with a provider, even considering leaving my wife if truth be known.

Yesterday she called and asked me to come over after my work and before hers.  I called to give her warning an hour before (no answer, typical) and called when I got to her building (no answer, frustrated) went to her apartment (the new one I helped her move into) and got no answer, called again saying I would go to our usual hangout and wait for awhile.

I couldn't leave, I kept waiting, nursing mineral water, hoping she was just late.  Left after two hours.  Called and yelled at her machine (If you don't want to see me just tell me to fuck off)called today and she is obviously not taking my calls.

If I didn't love her I would trash her in reviews or call INS or something.

It hurts and I feel stupid and embarrassed.

Good thing no one here knows who I am (except her bitchy little provider friends)

All told it lasted about two weeks (not counting the six months of "courting")

Im going to miss her long legs and hearty laugh.  Her accent and enthusiastic lovemaking (so much better free than when I paid her).  I loved to watch her dance.

I can't even look at anybody now and another provider is out of the question at least for a couple of days ...

At least the Flyers are winning.

The girl can have just as much anxiety over the whole thing as us men. And since women tend to react a little more emotionally about things, freaking out at the last minute and running away doesn’t surprise me at all - especially if you told her you were thinking of leaving your wife. It happened to me too.  

Still, it's better to have it happen now than later - after you split with your wife.

Time will heal, but the bigger question now is; how do you feel about your marriage? - a current topic for myself as well.

Good luck.

Joey,

 Unfortunately love hurts.

 

 But better to find out now how she really felt about you, then after you had left your wife.

 Aleast you know what providers not to see. (Her bitchy friends.)

Big hugs.
 Tammy

Sorry, man.  To quote The Humongous, "I feel your pain."  I really do.  Of course you're going to miss her, but you'll get over it.  Hope you find a nice new girl soon.

Good luck.

Sorry, but I don't get it. What are you so pissed off about?
Either you left something out of your post or I misread it. You haven't even talked to her yet. How do you know she is ok or that something didn't happen to her.

Sorry you got boned like that.  Good luck going forward.

From your comments about sending the INS after her, I assume she's an immigrant.  Doesn't seem like you really relate to her as an equal anyway.
And it all falls apart because of one incident?

Granted that you are right to be upset at her.  However, the language you used on the message left in her answering machine might be too strong.

Many women are scared of strong outburst and obsessive behaviors; more so now after the NYC actress reverse fatal attraction incident Friday morning.

Relax, wait a while.  In time, contact her again and gently ask her what happened.

I don't know the whole story, but bailing after one incident (if this is the only incident) without hearing her side might be premature.  Yelling at her machine might have been a mistake too.

From the original post, it appears beyond repair, but you never know.  In any case, I know it's painful and wish all parties well.

Don't let someone use you, and dont go to a provider looking for love. Providers can be just plain folks and capable of loving like the rest of us, but in my opinion, if you want to meet someone for love, don't start off by paying them for sex. It usually doesnt end well. Providers (usually) don't look to their customers for love for the same reason. When a provider wants a stable relationship she will get one the same way the rest of us do. Its best not to blur the line between business and pleasure for either party. Don't even consider leaving your wife based on the thrill of a new relationship with a provider. Every relationship has its ups and downs. If you arent getting along with your wife, deal with that separately.

Secondly, the Flyers arent going to win. Ottawa is going to clean the ice with them.

Agreed!; Not good to do anything that could give her cause to file a TRO (Temporary Restraining Order).

 Quietly lick your wounds. Give her some space, approach with caution.

  Good Luck.

Hey, sorry to hear things didn't go like you wanted. The thing I think you need to deal with right now is your marriage. If you were even considering leaving you must have some serious issues. Maybe even go see a therapist with your wife if you have to. Otherwise, look for a good divorce lawyer because it sounds like the problems you have are not going to go away all by themselves.

You sound very angry.  It's understandable, since you're obviously hurt.  Or do you feel betrayed?  Or used?  I imagine you're feeling a whole range of emotions right now.  One you're probably feeling -- but probably not recognizing -- is relief.  Your provider friend has possibly prevented you from making a very bad decision.  I know nothing about you or your situation, but were it me, I'd think long and hard about trading my wife in on a new model without exhausing every effort to fix the situation.  Remember, when you jump to a newer, shinier track, the excitment fades withing a few months.  The sex gets old in about a year, and the looks go within ten or so.  After all the dust settles, and the glitz dies down, one's left with warmth, comraderie, trust, friendship, and companionship -- qualities I found in my wife.

It's interesting how in a forum where the narcissist ideal for "no strings" sex so often gives way to the need for one or both partners to "couple up".
 Given all the arguments for the polygamist nature of the human male it still seems we're seeking to make a monogomist commitment dispite our so called "instincts".

  Good luck,

    Cm.

I guess I would counter by saying that a lot of us guys in general, and Hobbyists in particular, are Jekyll & Hyde personalities, in that one moment we want a committed relationship with someone, and the next moment we want to fuck a beautiful stranger.  Sometimes I think the only "commitment" we want is from the woman to us, not the other way around.

Peace.

Some of you might want to read the Naked Ape, sometime, which explains the duality of man's sexuality which is both monagamous and promiscuous.  We have both in us and they are advantages to both.  And, as usual, we like to have both.  Difficult, tho.  I am very sympathetic on this whole issue, having been in love with a provider.  Time to move on, tho!!

I acted like an ass.  I knew exactly why she didn't show up and thats what set me off.

Someone said I didn't think of her as an equal?  How true!  I figured since I had helped her with money and offered her a stable existence that she owed me.

My obsessive behavior was dangerous and not loving.

I am asking her to give me a second chance.  If she doesn't then I will wait awhile and ask again.

I will leave my wife , at least for awhile, regardless of what happens with the affair.  Im sick of lying. Im an adult for crissakes.

Thanks everyone and happy hunting.