misunderstanding at all. Just wanted to hit the other side of the coin. I have been reamed on here about what 'the hobby' really pertains to...as far as true companionship and what gentlemen and the women providing are really doing. It is not about 'getting laid' altho many have told me it is nothing more. I have argued that argument until I am blue in the face honestly.
It is that and more or yes, you are correct, the overnights and any date over 30 minutes wouldn't fly. Then it is just a 'sexual' thing. So thank you. Good to see another perspective on here for a change and one who isn't afraid to speak her truthful mind. Btw, love your handle...........for my own personal reasons
Not to judge, but, what's the point of having a significant other, while you are providing?? (financial, raising kids together, you love him, etc ?) Sorry, but if I loved you, I couldn't let you do it. For me, jealousy is a real human emotion. Your thoughts please
Not to judge, but, what's the point of having a significant other, while you are providing?? (financial, raising kids together, you love him, etc ?) Sorry, but if I loved you, I couldn't let you do it. For me, jealousy is a real human emotion. Your thoughts please.
So many of these hookers SO's are just like you...unemployed and worthless.
And the drugs mask the emotional component...so they don't give a shit either.
Maybe some down on her luck hooker will take you in? Nope...you've already tried that approach!
Not judging...any more than you are!!
Posted By: lungman
Not to judge, but, what's the point of having a significant other, while you are providing?? (financial, raising kids together, you love him, etc ?) Sorry, but if I loved you, I couldn't let you do it. For me, jealousy is a real human emotion. Your thoughts please.
your obsessive jealous behavior to the point of obsession and stalking. Interesting subject for you to broach given your bad reputation of not controlling yourself. Try to focus there and not worry about other people.
How about Husbands or Boyfriends with Significant others the see Providers? I've never been Married or had a steady G.F. for a long time. So I'm clear of all the Drama.
... that is, with OPEN, HONEST communication! some are also emotionally mature enough to comprehend, on an emotional level, the difference between the affection we have for our clients, and the love we have for our mates. some are mature enough not to miss the forest for the trees, and are willing to wait to reap the long-term benefits.
and, OSP, it does not have to be 'dangerous.'
however, it does require a perfect storm to be safe (however, that is true of ALL relationships, which i will pontificate upon soon). a woman has to be emotionally mature, self-confident (enough, at least, not to cling to any spineless leeching loser who will merely tolerate her job if only to reap the benefits of material comfort it provides), secure in her partner's character and ethics, and most importantly, HONEST. her mate must also possess this same 'perfect storm' of attributes.
9 times out of 10, it won't work; but that's true of most relationships, whether or not providers are involved. romantic relationships crash and burn for any number of reasons; one partner being a provider is certainly not significantly likelier to be the culprit than, say, issues of long-term incompatibility (people tend to dive into commitments far too quickly while being roofied by their own brains with a cocktail of deceptive infatuation hormones).
relationship dynamics are a fascinating, fucked up thing, and plenty of my civie friends have absolute flaming bloody TRAIN WRECKS of romantic lives. my BFF attracts every clingy, verbally abusive, co-dependent loser with mommy issues on the planet. there's the one girl i know who was living with her fiance and his best friend, and was caught cheating on the fiance with the best friend, ended up marrying the best friend, cheated on the best friend, and is now about to divorce the best friend for the SECOND man with whom she has cheated on the best friend. there's the guy i know -- an amazing, loyal, resourceful, kind-hearted, intelligent, creative, loving guy who lives in the neighborhood, takes photos for me occasionally (you can see some of them on my site and in my ads -- nope, not scott church), and is one of my best friends -- whose wife of 10 years cheated on and then divorced him. etc, etc... i could go on! being involved in the sex industry is certainly not a prerequisite for having a crappy love life.
this seems like a silly question, really. do my clients have plans for the future with me? do they want me to bear their children? do they want to live on a farmhouse off the grid with me? NOPE. there is, indeed, a point to having a significant other -- many of us have plans for the future which cannot be fulfilled by our clients. also, while i harbor what i would describe as friendly love for my clients (as in, i enjoy their company, i enjoy the sex, and i care about them as people, and their well-being), it does not compare to the life-affirming, abiding, romantic love of a long-term attachment to someone with whom you want to share your life.
thru and thru....but on the flip side of the coin, to answer the question you asked...
"this seems like a silly question, really. do my clients have plans for the future with me? do they want me to bear their children? do they want to live on a farmhouse off the grid with me? NOPE."
What if this question isn't so silly afterall? what IF a client does want this....then what?
I will also admit I read RT's post and he is spot on. Anyone in this world is 'twisted' in some form or fashion. This is NOT normal no matter how much you butter the bread on both sides. However, twisted doesn't have to have a negative connotation, just perhaps, means the people in this world are a lil different.
I mean let's be honest, how many here are lacking something so significant in their own lives that they turn to here for answers...again on both sides. If this is really only about 'getting laid' (supposedly) and having the 'variety for the spice of life' ...........then I wonder if it's really all it's cracked up to be? A cheap thrill. An expensive thrill for a moment in time...does that really 'fulfill' anyone with anything? Perhaps for some, yes. Perhaps for some, no. I will still refuse to believe that the majority are here for 'busting a nut on a stranger.'
It's just not that simple people. There's always something deeper than that...always no matter how much you play it off...you're fooling no one but yourselves in the end
i'm a bit of a rush, so i likely will not express myself quite the way i want to here, but i did want to reply to you.
i WHOLEHEARTEDLY agree with your sentiment that, by and large, hobbyists do not do this solely to 'bust a nut with a stranger.' as a former hobbyist once astutely stated, if there were no emotional needs at play in the hobby, providers would not be able to sell sessions longer than, say, half an hour in length.
however -- i believe the spectrum of emotional needs that is filled by providers is *usually* limited in scope. sex is an emotional need, because it is not rooted in logic. a man whose other emotional needs are fulfilled at home, is likely not to want more from a provider than some attentive companionship and physical pleasure. this is not a bad thing, and there's no shame in it. he may care for the providers he sees -- maybe even love them -- but he is, overall, happy at home. i would say that this describes at least 80% of my married clients. overall, they are happy in their marriages, and would not want more from me than the mutually beneficial friendship we share, but the sex is lacking.
this is not to say that my clients view me solely as a sex object -- i can confidently say that that does not describe ANY client of mine. my clients like me for ME, and they make that clear to me in dozens of different little ways. i present myself the way i do -- on the forums, in my ads, on my website -- specifically because those are the types of men i want to meet. i am a whole woman, and a damned fine person at that. they enjoy the interactions we have, they enjoy our conversations, they enjoy our friendship. but that does not magically cause the love they have for their spouses to melt away. it is possible for us to care for multiple people in multiple different ways. as i have stated previously, love and caring do not necessarily come with a series of obligations and expectations, nor do they award someone with a claim of ownership over another person.
also, i believe provider/hobbyist relationship dynamics tend to be particularly risky -- when the relationship evolves from provider/hobbyist to something of a more romantic bent -- because, more often than not, the FOUNDATION of the relationship is sexual chemistry. i am sorry, but 999 times out of 1,000, that is going to be a recipe for disaster. sex is mission critical to a comprehensively healthy relationship, but in the grand scheme of things, it actually comprises a relatively small percentage of what makes a relationship work.
compatible ethics, compatible levels of emotional maturity, compatible levels of dedication to making the relationship work (which means lots of compromise and open, honest communication -- which can sometimes be uncomfortable) and compatible long-term goals are what will make a relationship work. THIS is what the FOUNDATION of a relationship ought to be.
so -- what if a client did want more? what if he did want the farmhouse and the children? i'd absolutely be open to it -- but i would need to be confident that all of those puzzle pieces were in place. sexual chemistry on its own is not enough.
misunderstanding at all. Just wanted to hit the other side of the coin. I have been reamed on here about what 'the hobby' really pertains to...as far as true companionship and what gentlemen and the women providing are really doing. It is not about 'getting laid' altho many have told me it is nothing more. I have argued that argument until I am blue in the face honestly.
It is that and more or yes, you are correct, the overnights and any date over 30 minutes wouldn't fly. Then it is just a 'sexual' thing.
So thank you. Good to see another perspective on here for a change and one who isn't afraid to speak her truthful mind.
Btw, love your handle...........for my own personal reasons
It is question of whether one accept another person for who they are instead of being judgmental about them. Being that said, it is very hard to do for most people on this planet because the day we start having cognizance, we are surrounded by judgmental society.
There is a problem not being judge metal, you will be classified as not empathetic, aloof, loner, weird, crazy and what not by the society hence, one has to find a balance, I suppose.
Once you accept someone for who they are, you have to stick to your guns whether the society approves it or not. This also difficult when our so called midget minded politicians keep on telling us what is good for us, what morality should be, etc
BOTH Hobbyists and Providers are psychologically "twisted". Use your own definition for twisted but in a nutshell it comes down to the following:
Hobbyists:
Like multiple sexual partners or weird shit. I prefer the latter. Why is that? Well according to my former therapist it was due to having an inappropriate sexual relationship with an older female relative when I was 8. OK. So now I have to take my hard earned $$$ and spray whipped cream and write dirty words on hookers buttocks to get that feeling back. Price well worth it!!!
Then again some guys just like strange pussy
Providers:
I have said it before and well say it again. At the core of a Provider is an EGO that is bigger than the Empire State Building. Oh, most of them will say stuff like "it's just a job", "I am paying my way through school", etc. Which is all probably true in an ephemeral sense. But let's face it there are jobs and then there are ways to pay for school. You choose this because you wanted to do it and you think your pussy is worth $$$. Most women don't think that way. Which makes you "twisted".
As far as the boyfriend thing. The only way I could EVEN consider it is if I was banging as much twat as she was fucking guys.
Not to judge but some guys will let a gal do anything if she is paying the bills.
when you said there are jobs and there is way to pay for school..
Yes there are. But not the kind of money that you would be making pretax with this kind of job.
Lets say if you only see 1 guy every other day for 1 hr, @ $300/hr, you will make $4500 per month. Just 1 guy everyday for 1 hr will bump you up to $9000 per month. Find me a burger flipping job or an internship that will let you make that kind of money..
If you are able to find me a comparable job with comparable pay with comparable effort, then we can visit your argument of being "twisted"...
Till then, why don't you and Dungy go have a few drinks at a bar or something...I think you would make a cute couple..
When I read RT's response it became clear that both he and The Dungbeetle, each in his own way, have a deep-seated lack of respect for providers. I feel differently and had an experience today that was telling. I was with one of my favorite girls and we had a great time playing, then chatting about hobby-related issues. I realized she had another date coming so I left on time. Went to my car, plugged in my phone and pulled out of the parking space at her apt. Glanced back and saw a guy headed for her door, clearly her next client. This hadn't ever happened to me before, at least to the point I was aware of it. I didn't think less of her, I just was amazed at how these girls are able to do it back-to-back like that. It was impressive in its own odd way. It didn't make me like her any more or any less. It just made me marvel she could do it. She seems to love what she does and, however she manages it, I'm happy for her that she does. Both Ridgy and Dungy, however would on some level despise her. Ridge-troll at least would be open about it, while Dungy would bleat about this poor "soiled dove being forced to degrade herself. What a tool. And you're right, Curly, the two of them are really peas in a pod and, not only should they get a drink together, they should become butt-buddies. Then they wouldn't have to soil themselves with these filthy whores.
So yea...you left your gal pal and get into your car. She still hasn't showered, brushed her teeth or cleaned up nicky's mess.
And now johnnie boy is strolling in to lick up where you left off LOL
I know it happens....but I'd like to think that the hookers I frequent don't have back to backs. At least spread them out with an hour or so...I still like my hookers squeaky clean.
Don't you?
Posted By: inicky46
When I read RT's response it became clear that both he and The Dungbeetle, each in his own way, have a deep-seated lack of respect for providers. I feel differently and had an experience today that was telling. I was with one of my favorite girls and we had a great time playing, then chatting about hobby-related issues. I realized she had another date coming so I left on time. Went to my car, plugged in my phone and pulled out of the parking space at her apt. Glanced back and saw a guy headed for her door, clearly her next client. This hadn't ever happened to me before, at least to the point I was aware of it. I didn't think less of her, I just was amazed at how these girls are able to do it back-to-back like that. I was impressive in its own odd way. It didn't make me like her any more or any less. It just made me marvel she could do it. She seems to love what she does and, however she manages it, I'm happy for her that she does. Both Ridgy and Dungy, however would on some level despise her. Ridge-troll at least would be open about it, while Dungy would bleat about this poor "soiled dove being forced to degrade herself. What a tool. And you're right, Curly, the two of them are really peas in a pod and, not only should they get a drink together, they should become butt-buddies. Then they wouldn't have to soil themselves with these filthy whores.
Yes, I would have preferred laboring under the illusion she spaced out appointments by an hour. I watched her straighten up her place while I was dressing. When I saw him I was, at first, skeeved out. But the thing is, she's such a sweetheart I just cut her slack. Besides, I like girls who like to fuck. My ATF is quite frank about being fairly high volume. Anyway, imagine how the other guy felt, watching me come out and wondering where I'd nutted? In case he read this board and can figure out who I'm talking about, it was BBBJTCNQNS. And thanks for asking!
If you see this on one of the gals...you'll know I was there
Posted By: inicky46
Yes, I would have preferred laboring under the illusion she spaced out appointments by an hour. I watched her straighten up her place while I was dressing. When I saw him I was, at first, skeeved out. But the thing is, she's such a sweetheart I just cut her slack. Besides, I like girls who like to fuck. My ATF is quite frank about being fairly high volume. Anyway, imagine how the other guy felt, watching me come out and wondering where I'd nutted? In case he read this board and can figure out who I'm talking about, it was BBBJTCNQNS. And thanks for asking!
One time I saw this John walking out with a big smile on his face in Tyson's corner area. Knew him from M & G that we attended together.. I smiled. He nodded. That was our secret handshake...
Not to judge, but, what's the point of having a significant other, while you are providing?? (financial, raising kids together, you love him, etc ?) Sorry, but if I loved you, I couldn't let you do it. For me, jealousy is a real human emotion. Your thoughts please.
1. Most providers enjoy the feeling of distraction a S.O gives them late at night , whether a late night phone call when she's out of town , or watching Mary Poppins , Terminator , or Pretty Woman at home together . A S.O . helps takes her mind off her afternoon appt that that made her puke her guts out as soon as he left .
2. Jealousy is a waste of time and energy and unnecessary human emotion .
Posted By: inicky46
I was with one of my favorite girls and we had a great time playing, then chatting about hobby-related issues.
1. I have never talked with a Courtesan , Provider , Escort , Bartender , Waitress, or Happy Ending Masseuse about Hobby - related issues . That would be as much a waste of my time and energy as Jealousy, plus a waste of my money . Time is money plus the money lost , that's a double whammy . I would despise any provider who fills my ears with hobby issues during my appointment . No Belize trips for her . I don't talk about ex GF's with a new GF even when she' s nosy and continues harping . Years ago I found a hard reality , there is no benefit talking good about an ex , even if she passed away . Some girls can become so jealous they are threatened by ghosts . No sense opening up a can of lunacy if it can be avoided . On the other hand no sense telling my favorite I saw LittleKittygangbangXXX . She might say "Ewwwwww. I can't believe you did that slut , I don't want to see you no mo you HO "
In other words , I try not wasting time , when there's better things to do .
Basically you are saying, people who doesn’t follow the rules and mores established by some men to control humanity for their own purpose are twisted.
Absolutely not. There is only one rule and only one: “AS LONG AS YOUR ACTIONS DOES NOT INTERFERE OR CURTAIL SOMEONE ELSES ACTIONS ON THEIR OWN FREE WILL, YOU ARE FREE TO DO AS YOU PLEASE”. You can adapt this rule for every aspect of human life.
I would also argue that, if the society stop being judgmental and people stop living to please others with life, mental health of the nation will increase.
Why do you think the so called 1st world has the largest mental health problem?
no one "lets" me do anything. how absurd! i am a human being, i belong to no one but myself. when i am part of a partnership, i may make agreements with my partner, but they do not make "allowances" for me, nor i them. love is not a claim to my body and soul.
when dating, i have always been honest from the very first date about what i do for a living, and that i plan to continue providing for at least a couple of more years. if a potential partner is not comfortable with it, they may walk away. i am a remarkable woman and a good partner by any measure, regardless of my vocation -- regardless of the fact that i LIKE my vocation, and that i like my clients (even love some of them... i had one ex who really couldn't stand the fact that i liked the work, he wanted me to be miserable). accept me as i am, and all of the wonderful things i have to offer, without reservation, or kindly fuck off. you're not worth my time if you can't do that. *shrug*
more people are open to this than you'd think, actually. i've even had profiles on dating sites (never showed my face in photos, mind you) where i was completely open about being a provider. i got plenty of replies from really cool people, some of whom are my friends to this day.
When is the lungman going to start screening for you?
And keep tabs on your computer...he has a propensity for fucking up websites.
And he'll also worship the ground you walk on...as long as you are willing to support him.
Yep...he's a real keeper...or creeper
Posted By: butterflydust
no one "lets" me do anything. how absurd! i am a human being, i belong to no one but myself. when i am part of a partnership, i may make agreements with my partner, but they do not make "allowances" for me, nor i them. love is not a claim to my body and soul.
when dating, i have always been honest from the very first date about what i do for a living, and that i plan to continue providing for at least a couple of more years. if a potential partner is not comfortable with it, they may walk away. i am a remarkable woman and a good partner by any measure, regardless of my vocation -- regardless of the fact that i LIKE my vocation, and that i like my clients (even love some of them... i had one ex who really couldn't stand the fact that i liked the work, he wanted me to be miserable). accept me as i am, and all of the wonderful things i have to offer, without reservation, or kindly fuck off. you're not worth my time if you can't do that. *shrug*
more people are open to this than you'd think, actually. i've even had profiles on dating sites (never showed my face in photos, mind you) where i was completely open about being a provider. i got plenty of replies from really cool people, some of whom are my friends to this day.
by posting the link. Butterflydust needs to stay as far away from Dungy as possible. Then again, so does every other provider. It really is incredible the way he keeps coming back for more abuse and embarrassment.
You are one of the wisest posters on this board. And I know you are far too wise ever to be involved with Dungy but your ex who wanted you "to be miserable" sounds a lot like him.
It has to do with what two agree upon, I would assume. I'd date someone if he could accept the fact that I do this; however, we would have to be friends first to build trust... you never know what someone will use against you.
That's just a dream. It will never happen as there are not many I could trust with that kind of information. I learned a lot from a previous post where people were discussing whether telling a "FWB", no commitment involved, was a good idea about the profession. People agreed not to tell until a commitment was going to be made. IDK if I could continually boink someone, then when things get serious say, "Oh, by the way..." lol.
I am a people person--I get the most satisfaction from making someone happy--even if its just for a little while. I am from Detroit--You guys know what has happened there. I had worked in a hair salon for 20 years---as the factories closed--and people lost their jobs---my clientele dwindled. Finally--I came here to Atlanta. I worked 2 jobs and still could not make ends meet--I was working 80hrs a week--thru ALL of that--my SO also was working extreme hrs. His ass never wavered--he stayed for the long haul. ~Lol -I have to say--that he is my best friend--i can talk to him about anything--and he NEVER judges me. In my book--that is a huge plus. ~Anyway---when I came into this industry in 2008--I had no money and was down to my last pack of Raman noodles. Call me what you want---and judge me if you think that's the right thing to do---but I know who I am-- And I'm not saying "I'm sorry for being me" to anyone. ~Peace ~Evie
Some people are loners by nature and don't want to deal with seeing someone else's clothes on the floor let alone raise a family; so for them seeing a provider every now and then to get their jollies works just fine.
Others are really into the family life, or at least having someone around them to share their life with. They may find all the sexual satisfaction they need (at least for a while) with that person, or choose to supplement same with seeing providers.
There are a lot of variations, and nothing has to be written in stone. People change and their relationship and needs also change.
I was dating a producer while doing this for ten months. Was not about the money he never asked me for any I never asked him.. but our sex was great and happened to be we were both very busy so it worked for ten months I mean he was fucking girls in his films anyway. Not with him anymore single again. I guess it depends on how freaky you are some guys really like thinking of you with other ppl. However yes there are a few providers that SHHHHHH dont like doing this and are here strictly for money so a few I know dont tell their men.
For others, this job seems easier knowing they have a man to go home to....don't get that shit either, because the last thing I want is another d(ck to take care of on my off time lol. I don't know what to tell you other than, every person is different.
Posted By: lungman
Not to judge, but, what's the point of having a significant other, while you are providing?? (financial, raising kids together, you love him, etc ?) Sorry, but if I loved you, I couldn't let you do it. For me, jealousy is a real human emotion. Your thoughts please.
"every person is different"..........simple and true answer. Being alone is pretty cool.......no one to give me grief about anything. Tiz why you ladies are important to some of us......get some lovin and no drama. ( morally is it right?....it works for me )
I'm in love with my sig other and need him in my life. I only offer body rubs and he does get a little jealous but he is understanding. And my boyfriend does not benefit financially from me being in this industry. He has a VERY good job and he helps me out financially, but of course not enough. He is there for me when I need someone to talk to, we go out on dates, have fun together. There are many reasons to have a sig. other and be in this industry. This industry doesn't provide all the emotional support one needs in life.
As ChicagoCPA suggested way above? Really? Gives me hope....I am very definitely a man of means...think I might ever find a provider I really like who'd leave the biz for me?
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