I really do like sex. I also really like the security of marriage, that feeling of knowing there is someone at home wondering when I will come home. I REALLY like that experience, when you first fall in love, those first few months at the beginning when everythingk is goo goo.. All you think about is the other person, hoping that phone call is them calling, thinking about the future.
But I can't find one person that has all that. Maybe I don't have that for someone else as well. so I am always seeking a woman that has those properties.
I get satisfied for an hour, a day a month or so, but then it goes away. Well except for the security thing in marriage.
So I have been going along for many years doing ths and enjoying it, but it is very self centered and, but being secretive of course, since American culture is retarded when it comes to sex.
So now I find out my wife is having an affair. I have been so self centered and trying to mask what I was doing from her, I never imagined she would have one. At the same time she was doing the same thing! She never imagined I was having affairs and seeing providers. I am pretty sure she doesn't know what I do, and I know she doesn't know I know about her affair. (Pardon the Rumsfeld speak).
So I am sort of emotioanlly twisted. I am not really upset about her affair, just wondering if I should let her know I know.
Don't let her know if you are satisfied with your current situation!
Are you certain that she doesn't know? If she doesn't, probably only because she is preoccupied with her own affair to pay too much attention to you not being there.
If you tell her you know, she will probably either 1. end the affair, have more time to discover what you are doing and then divorce you and take all your money.
2. Divorce you right away since she loves the other dude more. And maybe take all your money (depending on her lawyer)
If you want to divorce her, I suggest ending all affairs right away. Hire a private investigator to document her infidelity and then go see a lawyer. Once you are in court, her legal side will dig through your dirt, that's why you have to end all extramarital relationships well before you plan to go to court.
Sounds somewhat without feelings, but I am just giving you the breakdown of what's going to happen.
That is a very interesting problem you have on your hands.
I myself am married but I am under the disillusion that would i do isn't cheating since there is no emotional attachment. i still enjoy the sex with my wife but she is pregnant know and under pelvic restrictions. Which means for me that It will be a year total without intercourse. I know she wouldn't see it this way and would probably kill me.
so the two hours a month I spend with a provider serves me and keeps me stress free. As to telling your wife you know about her infidelities. I can't answer that. If your both happy with this arrangement fuck it why ruin it.
as you were to busy trying to please other ladies, maybe you didn't show her the attention, she needed.
Women, are a lot like men....if they don't get what they need at home, they go elsewhere.
I don't think it is wise to bring up her affair, unless you are willing to air your dirty laundry..
Just my 2 cents worth,
Kelly
-- Modified on 9/15/2007 4:57:35 PM
Strike now! While you at least appear to have the moral high ground. Righteous indignation is your best ally 
-- Modified on 9/15/2007 5:14:03 PM
Sounds like you both got what you were looking for. Sex with someone else. And you thought she didn't know?
Why don't you have an affair with your wife, if you want to remain married. Set it up like a clandestine meeting. You might rekindle what you had many years ago.
Swim
Whatever you're getting from cheating on her, she might not be after the same thing with her affair. For you "security" seems to be the most important thing about your marriage, but she might actually want love.
Te secretive nature of cheating has nothing to do with attitudes about sex, but attitudes about honesty and commitment.
You've mentioned that your sexual side-activities are self-centered, but what about how you regard your marriage in general? You like someone to be wondering about you at home. What about what she wants?
I don't know what I'd do in your situation but obviously your marriage is in a bad place, and you might be in danger of losing it altogether.
I suppose you can just keep everything quiet and assume that everything will go along hunky dory; stranger things have happen.
On the other hand, what a wonderful world it would be if you could both pursue your own affairs of the heart and yet still know that you have a special bond that you can both take strength from.
It would take a leap of faith, and be handled, oh so gingerly, but it's something to consider.
Try dropping this in The Love Goddess's "in box" and see what she makes of it, just to your left on The Erotic Highway.
As for the wonderful feelings you describe in the first part of your post, that's chemestry for you. Ain't it wonderful?
Nice idea but it probably wouldn't happen....
So plan an escape for both of you. I have no idea how long y'all have been married, but the charm fades when other "life" issues invade.
Responsibilities and things have a lot to do with splitting people apart.
You've found your own escape from your home base. Take her with you next time. Maybe the "trois" thing might work. Maybe a cruise. Start camping. ROCK that trailer!
You know she's ready for an adventure unless her needs are very different from yours. (Women get like that ya know. Are you certain the "affair" involves sex?)
Regardless... good luck.
You go along your merry way, fucking other women, and real happy having your cake and eating it too. So now you find out the wife is doing the same thing (well, almost, I doubt she's paying for the sex). And if you claim not to be upset by her affair (even though you're 'emotionally twisted' by it), what do you hope to gain by confronting her?
Stop being a hypocritical putz! Your marriage is probably kaput. Why stay married when both of you aren't getting what you want out of it?
Have a nice day.
and I'll bet you are still as hot as ever....
but question? is this what you really think?