Sport f@cking versus "GFE".....

Now I understand that many gents are in this game for different reasons. To each his own. No offense intended. And I know that providers "provide" in different ways. Well and good.

however

I don't think I "get" this "GFE" thing. What I am looking for is a good time. A bit of excercise. A great lay. A little effort on the lady's part to get me off. ie - Sport F@cking.

But what a lot of the "hobby" (retch - I detest that term... hobbies are for old men and boys in short pants) is about seems to be this mysterious thing called "Girlfriend Experience".

Girlfriend experience. Good Lord I've had plenty of girlfriends. Lotsa stuff I've experienced with Girlfriends I don't want to experience again, let alone *pay* for lol. The good part about having a girlfriend comes into play if she can (and will) s@ck and f@ck worth a damn. The bad part is just about everything else....  so the term "girlfriend experience" as currently invoked does not do a whole hell of a lot for me.

Then again, back in the day, "Girlfriend Experience" had a different meaning (BBFS ' )  But I don't think that's what is generally meant by providers here and today in the US when they use the label.

So what does "girlfriend experience" really mean?

I'm good with the bit about s@cking my crank bareback, and either swallowing or spitting. Hell I've had a girlfriend or two along the way that would *not* do that lol.  

I'm good with the daty bit. I like a taste as much as the next hound. However, keeping in mind that the ladys' company has been purchased and that it is a S E R V I C E, I am not inclined to spend a whole lot of time on the project.

Certainly I'll give it the old college try, I'll take direction and attempt to follow the lady's cues. I'm a true sport. But at the end of the day, I'm not "donating" for *her* to cum lol. And though I enjoy pleasing a lady I do not find it
to be an ego need of mine....

----though I do enjoy putting a fresh young agency girl over the top. But that's because she
still relates to the whole experiencs as SEX and not as service. I can get into that. Chest thumping stuff! But girlfriend? no THANK you....

And of course I'm good with hiding the salami. A basic necessity of life.  But a lady does not have to be "GFE" to offer that now does she? Oh - and is it a part of GFE to fake orgasms? If so I decline, thank you very much. I might be a
decrepit old guy but my ego is in good shape.....

Greek? You betcha. If the lady enjoys it I'll take the plunge. If not I'll pass. However I see Greek offered more in the context of "PSE" than "GFE".

So what is the excess baggage carried by the GFE moniker?  Acting. The lady du jour pretending that she thinks I'm strong and handsome, virile and vigorous, well hung, and the perfect man to take home to meat her momma and daddy. Well, you
might be able to stretch your imagination that far, but not moi. Good God! It would take a pocketful of magic mushrooms for me to imagine that for an hour..... and then I'd miss all the good stuff!  

And of course, if you fall for this line, you are now back in girlfriend city. Not in reality mind you but the way guys are wired, if they believe this sh!t, they will start to think and feel about and relate to the lady du jour as though
she is Their Personal Girlfriend. Now this may be and in fact is profitable for the talented provider, but the boards are full of guys whining about falling for their fav providers. Don't they have enough trouble at home? lol....

So - I'm down with GFE if it refers to a menu of services to include BBBJ/CIM, DATY, CFS, and maybe foreign travel. But

please, hold the ham lol.....

Instead of Acting, give me submission - let's explore her enjoyment of restraint and sensual pain. Now *that* is real lol.

Is there anything useful beyond BBBJ/CIM, DATY, CFS, and maybe sodomy? Something *better* than GFE?

You bet your @ss.

And that is being serviced by a true COURTESAN. A woman of charm and manners, who provides you with warm and gracious hospitality, engages with you on a personal level, treats you like a complete human being, and f@cks the daylights out of
you. Now that I'll take. "Girlfriend Illusion" not required.....

when I wrote the review my comment was 'sex like this, I can get from my ex wife'

that is, cold, uncaring, mechanical with the desire to only get the o and NOTHING else.  No cuddle afterwards, not even a warm washcloth to clean up with.

but I do enjoy all the services usually included with the GFE - that is Kissing, cuddling, BBBJ, DATY.  Nothing wrong with that!

real sensual DFK. A skilled massage. Not rushing the end of the session. "cuddling" (I'd rather shower together but to each his own....)

GFE the way I see it seems to include a layer of pretend that just is not good for many hobbyists and is not good for the sport.

KEEP IT REAL

we can keep it real and still be friendly and warm about it....

Cheers

GTM

you can't keep it real unless your understanding of the situation is realistic and consistent. i think your analysis of some points is faulty and we have a difference in definitions also.

for the definition part:

my definition of GFE is your Courtesan experience.

my Courtesan experience requires in additional significant educational and cultural understandings that can be the basis of extremely entertaining conversations between rounds.

for the analysis part:

in any art, and providing is an art, some suspension of disbelief is required for for it to work as well as possible. that is where playing with the illusion comes in usefully. there are different styles but sport fucking is still an art with at least a sufficient degree of illusion that permits one to forget there _was_ an envelope during the O.

it is bad analysis to blame the "fall in love with a provider syndrome" on GFE. that is simply a silly lapse in clarity on your part. the "fall in love" syndrome can arise regardless of sport-fucking, GFE or CE.

the "fall in love" syndrome arises from reasons that are independent of the service mode and independent of it. among these reasons are

1) strong mutual attraction  

2) one side attracted but unrequited

and regrettably

3) predatory exploitation by one of the parties  pretending that there is a possibility of mutual attraction

any of these can happen regardless of service mode. please do not assume that i think that the predatory behavior is solely on the provider side. i have heard stories from provider friends of clients who became BFs which i find credible in which the provider was certainly victimized.

some times your "keep it real" reads too jaded and cynical to me for me to find it credibly "real". different tastes, that's OK.

First, your post addresses one slice of the hobby. WHile I do not partake, there are many on TER who are into many things that are simply not available from SOs.  Whether this involves S&M or light bondage, golden showers, or in my case, seeking a GFE or in your case, a good athletic roll in the hay. So, you don't 'get it' like I don't get golden showers. But I am not going to rant about it either. I like the fantasy bit, the moment that you feel high with a first love that is probably based more in the physical but also the seduction ritual which was well played out by the provider. A deep kiss, a (well acted?) orgasm and cuddling and being made to feel like a king.

To each their own.

...is a highly overused term, which frankly has no definitive meaning. it is such a subjective thing, but then again, so is everything else in this "hobby."

i do provide a girl friend experience to my clients. no, that does not mean that i provide a particular "menu" of services...(i am a human being, not a restaurant). and no, it does not mean that i act. that is one thing i cannot do...act/pretend with the gents i see. that is why i am so selective about choosing clients, and why i put so much time and energy into truly getting to know the men i may potentially see. i am trying to determine if we have the right chemistry, the proper natural connection, that will allow me to truly give them a girlfriend experience. and what does that mean to me? it means that i genuinely CARE about them...not simply about the needs of their penis (altho don't get me wrong, i care a great deal about that as well!), but about what's on their mind, what's in their heart, what drives them and moves them. it is not about pretending to be in love. it is about a real connection and intimacy, that is what i provide and that is what makes me "GFE" by my standards.

no, that is not what ever gent in this hobby is looking for. in fact i would go out on a limb and say that the majority of men in this hobby are not looking for such a personal connection with a woman. they are looking for "sport fucking" as mentioned by the OP. lots of hot and naughty specific acronyms, lots of variety, and none of that messy "i care" stuff. and that is all fine and dandy, that is why there is a niche out there for every provider and every hobbyist.

on a side note however, GTM, you say "give me submission" but then refer to a woman's enjoyment of restraint and sensual pain. what does that have to do with submission? as a submissive woman, i do offer submission to my clients. they know that my only concern and desire is to please them. whips and chains, bondage and bdsm games have nothing at all to do with real submission.

I get my haircut by a nice young lady, I get the occasional (real) massage,  my dentist cleans my teeth, I get an annual physical.  My point is that I, and most of us, have a group of other people servicing some need we have.  I like your definition of courtesan, it's real and you can relate to it in a real way.

The woman that cuts my hair doesn't pretend its anything else, the woman that strokes my *** shouldn't pretend that eventually our relationship will develop into anything else.

Of curse the real world doesn't always fit the template.  If the girl that cuts my hair was cuter, I'd be thinking different thoughts while she has me pushed back in the sink, washing my hair.

To mSport fucking is a waste of my time and $. My idea of GFE is like a Courtsean experience.
The ones I prefer seem to make me feel if we both weren't into this scene we could have been friends in R.L. Actually in some cases I am friends with them on the outside but understand my place is not as close as other R.L relationships they have.

also, the few provider ladies with which i am friends to some degree in "real life" made the invitation to be involved to greater or lesser degree that way.

for different reasons.  Some want to go "sport fucking" while others want to enjoy the romance of the experience which is sometimes referred to as the journey.

There is good girlfriend and bad girl friend.

Good girlfriend is:

Lots of affection, kissing, etc.
Lots of attention on you.
Going out to romantic places (longer visits)
Playful chat and kidding around.

Bad girlfriend is:

Having to tell them that that dress does not make them look fat.

Having to hear about their problems and coming up with solutions to them.

Hearing your own shortcoming recounted.

Hearing that they are not in the mood for this or that favorite sex technique that you want to do.

Sometimes we get good girlfriend, sometimes we get bad, and most often we get something in between.

I'll still take it over the old wham, bam, thankyou ma'am.

I detest the word "hobby" or "sport" for that matter. What you're missing is that "GFE" means "like the first 3 months of a marriage".

I think of GFE as making the man you are with feel like the king he is!  While in my presence, HE is the most important thing in the world to me.  

If he wants to spend that time ranting and raving about his boss or his wife or his mother....whatever, I am there to listen.  If he wants to f*ck like there is no tomorrow then let's get busy!   If he wants to kiss me and touch me and play with me....well, that is fine by me!  If he wants to go to the cabin and relax on the beach, I will gladly go with him.  He is the man of the hour!  And, he is MY king for that hour!   No bitching, no crying, no nagging... just unconditional, no strings attached attention.

Isn't GFE supposed to be Courtesan-Lite?

I don't think it's possible to be a true courtesan when the client is primarily focused on sex and there's a pressing time issue to deal with.  I can just picture it... a courtesan-type provider shows up to an outcall appointment sashaying up to the entrance and upon being let in she does a perfect model's walk into the living room while quoting some line from Remembrance of Things Past in perfect French.  Turning around she faces him with that come-hither look and as their eyes lock...

He's standing there thinking, "WTF?  Man, I just want that BBBJ/CIM and some Asian Cowgirl action!"

I think people should just know what they like and know what they do and hopefully those of like minds will find each other.

its like explaining the color red to a blind person. They never really quite get it.

Its obviously not what you are interested in and thats ok but its not as simple as black and white. Its more of an additude, a way about her that leads to the way a session can go. It really takes both involved to have a GFE experience. If the lady is a GFE provider, and you are not the least bit into that slow intimate seduction, well its all lost on you to begin with. I suggest you steer clear of any GFE ladies, as to not be disappointed or have to put too much into the experience yourself. Just carry on with your way as you like it best and continue to be "serviced".
you just made my dns list thats for sure. you are not my type. Its all good though.

would be drama free.

Nice post.  Finally, someone who sees this experience like me.  I am not looking for a GFE and I make a note of it in my reviews.  As I said in one of my most recent reviews: If I was looking for a girlfriend, then I'd have a girlfriend.

Thanks for your response sweet nicole. I'm glad there are providers out there like you. I'm still very new to this world and have had two experiences.  The first one was somewhat cold and mechanical and did little for me. The second was warmer, friendlier, gentler, slower, infused with intelligent talk and some humor. And oh by the way, it was sensual as hell. It was what I hoped the hobbying experience would be like. I guess some people would refer to it as the GFE. From my brief, but hopefully not too naive perspective, the hobbying experience can be just another form of masturbation and commerce or it can provide, for the briefest of moments, a level of intimacy that allows two virtual strangers to share something more than a cold fuck. Brief moments of intimacy among strangers happen in the real world all the time. Why not in the hobby? Give me the human connection any day.

I'm not into the fairy tale.

The *envelope* is the most important part of the whole transaction. It contributes to the lady's needs - if it was not there she and I would fairly likely not be doing the cha-cha. The envelope, likewise, is the certiciation of my right to enjoy the benefits of sex without the obligations conferred on the deed by societal demands. As some have said - it assures that the lady is willing to go separate ways NSA until I'm in the mood again....

The prob here is that you and I are talking apples and oranges. We have different goals for the pursuit of the sport. Different interests.

I have, to put it simply, two:

1 - to light up a succession of newer to the game agency girls who still experiences a session as *sex* instead of *performance*. Their youthful raw responsiveness and passion is purely biological. They generally *adore* sportfucking. And yet they are usually sweet in a totally unfeigned way. Even affectionate. Simply because of the shared mutual enjoyment. Even though they know they are not likely to see me again.

2 - to enjoy the fine company of a lady who relates to me as a whole person, is genuinely interested in me and allows my interest in her, and who (as a regular) develops with me an increasingly personally and sexually gratifying relationship over time, which *neither of us* pretends is conditioned on anything *but* the quid pro quo.

Cheers

GTM

you and I have been on one another's DNS list for a long time '

and yes we do not see the "hobby" in similar ways at all.

But I still respect your opinions and enjoy your presence on the boards.

Cheers

GTM

you posted a bit a while ago about about losing control in the moment?

or do you use thoughts of the envelope to delay the O.

perhaps a large part of your perceived difference in our goals is in your mind. you may want to reconsider how it got there.

it is noce to go to a movie. i never saw a movie i wanted to live in. get it?

-- Modified on 5/10/2009 7:49:20 PM

quoting from my OP:

"And that is being serviced by a true COURTESAN. A woman of charm and manners, who provides you with warm and gracious hospitality, engages with you on a personal level, treats you like a complete human being, and f@cks the daylights out of you. Now that I'll take. "Girlfriend Illusion" not required.....

What you offer your gents is first class. As long as it is *honest* and not predicated upon "girlfriend illusion".  I believe in having a good time with a lady. I just also believe in keeping it real....

Cheers

GTM

in a number of provider friends being *comfortable enough* with me to want me in their lives as a friend and confident. And on several occasions, quite a bit more lol..... (but I don't want to dredge up that history again here on the board ' )

at least they knew that I was not deluding myself that we were in love with each other nor would I become possessive or controlling or otherwise loose perspective.

Re: you and I have been on one another's DNS list for a long time '

to be honest with you, til this post i never really saw you one way or the other, I guess you seemed very insignificant. Not in an insulting way, I just didn't read your posts. Now I see we do see things very differently, and its all good. We all are here with basically different agendas and for everone there is someone who fits the bill.
I personally would not want that cold distant "just fuck me and go already" experience.
Its absolutely Not what i am all about. I want to take away a feeling of a deeper experience and know for a fact there are a great deal who also want to be seduced in the moment. That can only be, if both parties are involved.
Then again we all know there are those who want to walk away and not remember her or his name. And for them its good. You get out of this what you  you put into it. If you walk away and feel it was less than what you expected quite possably
you were someplace else as well.
I hope no matter what it is you want to take away from your time with a lady you can accomplish that. It all comes back to research...find who truly fits what you are looking for. Its all good.

perhaps if you were open to *conversation* on the point instead of labeling everything you disagree with as "nonsense" etc. it would help. You are articulate. You have well formed opinions. That does not mean that you are ontologically *right*!

Sometimes it's better just to agree to disagree on something instead of trying to "one up" someone rhetorically. I have the skills and intellect to do that but it's a silly game and a waste of time.

Cheers

GTM

Nah! I think I went on your DNS list when I was gregory12 lol ' eom

-- Modified on 5/10/2009 9:17:35 PM

"did you lock the front door?"   That ain't GFE or Wife Exp

That's why she's the EX Mrs. CG.

i don't think you understand me on this point. and it is somewhat perplexing why not? so i resorted to a rhetorical device to sharpen the contradiction.

my impression is that you are intelligent and literate enough to understand my posts but that there are a some areas in which you think there is a large difference in attitude where there really isn't.

it occurs to me that you may be misunderstanding because of other sources of information that may be filtered through a bias that is not 'realistic'.

just because i like a movie and the movie might even be very good for me doesn't mean that i think it is real life at all. at the end of the movie i am happy to go home and enjoy the benefits of the outing. i have no desire to live in a movie, but they have their uses.

me: 39.

Results: I'd like to say 50/50 but that's probably an overstatement

Results with the review system: 92.4%

50/50 represents a lot of wasted time and money. And throughout a greater exposure to such negatives as LE B&S and ripoff.....

you bet your bippy I'm serious about the review system!

whole GFE vs Sport Fucking vs PSE vs Courtesan nonsense seriously.  I just want to have a good time and have the lady I'm with to have a good time.  Anything else, imho, is just philosophical nonsense.

I'm not interested in a philosophical discusion about labels.

my point is that play acting and faux romance are of dubious value in the hobby (my opinion). Without we would not have a great deal of the drama - clients "in love", clients obsessive or stalking, WQs, toleration for DQs, etc etc.

Cheers

GTM