Namely:

Does whether or not a hobbyist write reviews (irrespective of whether he is a tough or soft reviewer) affect your decision to see that hobbyist?

If so, why?

Please feel free to use an alias if you feel the need to do so.

get along.
i am ultimately looking for a mutually fulfilling experience.

my own insecurity...I am avaerage...I wear a size 10...and I admit I could workout and get tighter and toner...anyway...I had two guys write a review stating Great things...however wrote I was Fat...and they wrote in the review they would definitely see me again...however I wrote them and said I couldn't see them again, because my performance would Not be the same...because all I would be doing is thinking...they think I am Fat...and I wouldn't feel very sexy or sensual with them...they each wrote back apologizing...stating they had a bad choice in words...but to me the bottom line is...we should be having Fun and Enjoying the Pleasure of each other Not worrying about reviews

Now one who goes to an appt enjoys himself and reflects on his experience in a review is one thing. Thats what reviews are for, right.

Now there are those who are so engrained in this business, their Hobby, they have lost the whole reasons for p4p. Its no longer about enjoying each lady and the experiences with each one its about a laundry list of *to dos* and their expectations of said list. They become jaded.

Then there are those who review as a form of knit picking the Ladies they see. Its also no longer about enjoying the experience, They expect each one to BE as the other and behave as the last. We are all different as will or should be your experiences.

Now the Gentleman who does not review but has references, no worries. I do not go into a session preparing for a review. I just go into it as a new oppertunity to get to know someone quite intimately. I have few expectations past the basic of a decent partner who is respectful and clean with manners. After that I play it by ear. So no reviews is Not a deal breaker.

Reading someones collected reviews can give me insight into who he is and what he is looking for. If he is one who is just looking to add another notch to his bedpost well thats not what I am looking for. I hope those who choose to see me do so, to see ME, not just the next Ho on their *to do* list. So I will most likely pass. Some Hobbyists are quite jaded and they are not ones I want to spend my time with.

Its not all about the money, I want to love the job I do, so it pays to be a bit picky even on this end of the transaction. It takes more than my phone number,the correct donation and references to get here.

even those who normally have higher scores that tells me they don't seem to be able to search for who WILL make them happy.If other Ladies seem to not make their cut I'd rather pass on to someone less obnoxious. And they may also just be a pain in the ass with an additude I have no need for that.

Whether he does/doesn't write them is irrelevant in my decision to see him. That decision is based on screening. However, if he does write them, I will use them to get to know a bit about him as they do offer insight into his likes/dislikes.

That is an interesting question also from the point of view of boys!

If I write a negative review, I would not worry about a retaliatory reaction, since I would not return anyhow.
If I write a positive review (which I only do if I really believe it), then I would hope the lady is happy; but I would not expect any specific thanks; I would just hope that it will always be like that.
If I write an in-between review (which, of course, does happen), I might worry not about retaliation, but
about the climate that will exist between us when I return to her. Hence, I might not return.

Any of this seems fair?

I have passed on a date once because I saw some negative comments (regarding body art) in a gentleman's previous reviews which made me feel we weren't a good fit for each other. No need to waste anyone's time or $ ) Weather or not a gentleman reviews has nothing to do with the amount of fun we will have!

if a hobbyist does not wriite reviews does not mean I cannot see him.gentleman that do write reviews gives me an idea of his likes/dislikes but I have seen quite few gentleman that are TER members however they do not write reviews for a variety of reasons.My thing is as long as the gentleman is polite,provides necessary screening info,and is basically a gentleman not an ass then I have no problem.Now if a hobbyist that does write reviews and all of his reviews are low ratings and talking about the providers not in a good way I will pass because I do not need the aggravation.I want to meet gentleman that are ready to have a good time and indulge in an escapade.

I like that. I try to always write fair and accurate reveiws not only to give insight on the provider but to tell how I felt about the visit.To me that is my side of the story. Sorry but in this business thats what matters the most. Providers don't write reveiws on clients, and if they did, who cares. I like your way of thinking lisette4u.

No reviews simply changes some of my screening tactics.  A soft reviewer is a total neutral.  A tough reviewer will get more scrutiny to see if we are compatible as some people are simply never going to be pleased, or need arial acrobatics and very specific alphabet soup to enjoy their time.  A reviewer with pages of reviewer might get a second glance as my best clients are not usually stamp collectors.  So yes, I guess there is a soft sway, however it is not what I would base my decision on.

Sweety you should never cut off clients. Those men are just being honest with their friends. If they thought you were that fat and discusting, they wouldn't try to see you again. As a man even if I think you're fat, if the performance is good and the product is good. I will be back for more. I may tell my friends, "oh man I got with this fat chick". Who cares? At the end of the day the greenbacks are still there, and they will keep being there. Let him give his stupid reveiws and keep paying you. I like all women in all sizes and all colors. Keep your head up love.

I recently went to see a lady and shortly before I got there she sent me a text that said she did not want to dealwith LE today and that she is not a prostitute. She did speak to me and I found out that my phone # was blacklisted as LE. I think this was due to a bad review I left someone and she retaliated. This kind of sucked, but I am not too worried about it. I will certainly still give reveiws the same as I always have. You get what you earn!

I find your position unusual.

Could you define exactly what purposes a man might want to pay to spend time with you?

I ask in all sincerity.

I have plenty of reviews on many sites. I could care less if I get another one. However, I do appreciate anyone who would take the time to do a review as I know that getting them approved on this site is sometimes a chore. And I am glad that someone thought enough of me to share his experience with others. I would never get upset if someone chose not to do a review. I do not require it to meet with them.

The reviews do help in the sense that they keep my name in the limelight for a bit which brings me business and I do feel that is an important aspect of getting a review. I just don't think that requiring one is necessary for me to thrive.

xoxox

Hope you  and Mrs. Fisher are doing well Mr. Fisher!

Your garbage man doesn't give a rats ass about you. Your medical provider likely does care. You pay for both, yet there can be a difference in how they approach their relationship and service to you.

Lots of guys see providers to sportfuck. To each his own. Some guys don't (like me & that is why I don't write reviews.) When some ladies provide, they are just sportfucking too. That's your style, yes? To each his own.

I think lilli's point is she is not looking for  a long line of cans to dump into her truck for money. She's looking for the client who NEEDS her services, which are about caring and nurturing, even healing.

For that she should charge???

Talk about showing your cat claws! wreeer!!

HalfHour

Many providers have said they read a guy's reviews & posts and use it as part of their decision process.  Been told it has helped me with some, hurt me with others.

I had an experience where a negative review (years ago on another site) had unexpected results.  I gave a negative, not scathing, review.  Would have been about a 7/4 here.  Later I tried to see another provider in that town.  We met, and towards the end of the session she told me the neg review of the other provider helped to see her a lot because it was accurate.

You need to re-read his reply...

I haven't been reviewed in quite some time now because I can count on two hands how many new clients I've accepted since May.  However I've been pondering this question more and more myself lately knowing that I'm going to probably queue up and resume touring again soon.

My priorities are shifting and what I need/want out of session and the service that I provide is as well.

Just as there are clients who shy away from providers with many reviews (like myself) I tend to shy away from clients for whom it appears that writing the review is as much fun as the session.

I think that review culture diminishes the encounter itself.  I don't say that as a self-protection mechanism either- I don't police my profile as I did in previous years and frankly, couldn't care less about what is posted at this point so long as its honest and it actually occurred.

When meeting new clients sometimes a provider can see a client mentally writing a review in his head-
is that really what these encounters should be about?

After meeting a new client sometimes his follow-up notes allude to the review and its contents or his assessment of the session- is that really what these encounters should be about?

Perhaps there is someone who will say yes, that is what this is about for some clients and the service provider shouldn't judge the motivations of the client- just perform and get paid.   Luckily we all have the little luxury of constructing exactly what our fantasy of this business is and eliminating or avoiding players who don't fit within that construction.

I prefer to see clients who aren't reviewers; I do see reviewers but I consider the content of their reviews to make sure there aren't tendencies which would make me uncomfortable in session.  I also consider whether their online hobby activity seems to define them, if they live online to speak to providers and clients via TER or social media or if they wear it like some sort of badge of honor or pride- hyperbolic hobbyists turn me off.  If someone just happens to review everyone they see as a matter of giving their honest opinion to the community which steers them in the right direction that is usually abundantly clear by the way they write their reviews and I don't mind seeing that person.

if a man writes reviews, then in my mind he is almost definitely (say, 99.9999% chance) he is a hobbyist, which is a HUGE strike against anyone i may consider seeing. hobbyist as in, this is purely recreational for him, he's not looking to get any needs met beyond the physical, he basically just wants NSA fun with lots of variety. not my type. moreover a review history also tells me that he is quite comfortable cataloging and rating women in the same fashion one would rate a hotel or restaurant. and that is objectification of the yuckiest kind, imo.

now of course there are exceptions...that is why i could not state 100%...but they are certainly in the overwhelming minority. and even then, i would not knowingly take the chance.

As usual, Ally, you have writen the most cogent and incisive response to a question.  Your ability to look deeply into an issue is awsome.

...."2 holes and umpteen positions and a" money's worth expedition"."*

* you need to add a 3rd hole.

Thank you.

it helps me find out what sort of things he likes or dislikes

create a false dichotomy between men who enjoy sex on it's own terms and then men who seek a certain spiritual fulfillment from engaging in sex with practicioners who tout a more spiritual form of sexual practice.

The two camps are not necessarily exclusive.

If I could create a metaphor using music:

Some people study music seriously in order to enjoy it by understanding it; and that is not only fine, it contributes to the whole genre.

Other people just like to dance to it, and have no idea what the theory is to the music.

I find both morally equivalent, and condusive to a healthy music establishment.

I think the main issue is perhaps authenticity.

If someone sees a provider because he appreciates the goodness of the sexual experience, and is not trying to rip anyone off or manipulate, then that is a good thing.

If another sees a more, let's say evolved, provider and seeks to achieve a higher consciousness through sexuality, that is also a good thing.

And then there are people like myself (and I wear the title hobbyist proudly) who seek out both because, why not?

Life is short, and we are dead an awfully long time.

She has for some time now professed herself to be different from many providers.  It sounds like she's looking for a specific sort of guy that's looking for more than another notch.  Many ladies probably look at her idea client as either a regular, or maybe even a stalker.  Personally, I rarely look for a one & done girl.  I'm not saying never, but I prefer a connection of some sort.  As I get older, it becomes less about the acrobatics and more about enjoying the exploratory process.  Instead of trying to set the world orgasm record in an hour, I would far prefer to savor the ride to one magnificent one for myself, and 5 or 6 for her.  That last part probably disqualifies me from her list of ideal guys, but I think I do understand her process.  To each their own.  Not that different from ladies that won't see young guys, black guys, guys without references, blah, blah, blah.

I asked LILLI if she sees clients for free.....because she said she does not see HOBBYIST.

It does not matter if a man reviews or not....participating in the hobby....PAYING SOMEONE FOR THEIR TIME....means the person doing the paying is a hobbyist.

Geezus are we hormonal today ladies?

You would not like providers writing reviews on us.

"Fat and balding guy kissed too hard, went down on me couldn't find my clit. Could barely get him back up and he came in 25 seconds. He was I might add pretty proud of himself"

Allure, you state below that any man who pays someone for their time is a hobbyist. well, you are of course entitled to your feelings on the issue, but your definition of "hobbyist" differs drastically from my own, as well as the dictionary's....from dictionary.reference.com:

hob·by
1   /ˈhɒbi/ Show Spelled[hob-ee] Show IPA
–noun,plural-bies.
1.
an activity or interest pursued for pleasure or relaxation and not as a main occupation: Her hobbies include stamp-collecting and woodcarving.

this backs ups my own view about a hobby being about recreation, a casual past-time. as someone on this board stated earlier in another thread, everyone does not wish to be a stamp collector. some are seeking a far more intimate and lasting connection, to fulfill those emotional and psychological needs that an anonymous fling simply cannot. to call those men "hobbyists" would be a grave misnomer, imho.

hi mrfisher...HalfHour actually explained surprisingly well just what i am in this crazy little world to do, and the type of men i seek to attract and help. because that is really the bottom line for me...helping, or to make it sound lofty, healing. if i do not feel that my presence in a man's life can be any real benefit to him, if he will be no more fulfilled, at peace, etc...then i will not see him. there is a heck of a lot more talking and soul searching between my clients and i than scrumping. for some, sex is not a part of the picture at all. i strive to be that objective listener, that gentle guide, that shoulder on which to cry, and most importantly...that person who will accept them and welcome them with open arms for exactly who they are, without judgment. this applies to the man who feels his innate needs and desires are unacceptable in the eyes of society and those closest to him, to the man who has been alone so long that he fears losing the ability to connect with another human being altogether...and so many others in between. and while i cannot prescribe drugs, i am certainly much more affordable than a psychiatrist, and can do oh so much more.

And this Blagoo alias seems to be one of those.

Curious he/she/it is so incensed that I posted it clouded his/her/its vision and he/she/it didn't notice there are numerous other guys who posted on the thread.  I assume he/she/it didn't notice because he/she/it didn't put a similar reply up to their posts.

I'm sure it isn't that he/she/it has devolved into having a personal vandetta with me so it must be oversight.  Either that of he/she/it is so smitten with my prose that he/she/it can't help themselves, they must reply to my posts like a moth to a flame.

You say po-tay-to, I say po-tah-to...

You say hobbyist, I say a sexually damaged male soul who needs a mother-lover...




HalfHour

Too bad you, like many aliases, ignore questions that are too hard for you.

Can't say I expected anything more from you.  And you certainly didn't surprise.

As with so many thinks I believe it's about communication and expectations.  The better two people can match what they are looking for/what kind of sessions they enjoy, the more likely both walk away thinking it was a success.

There are some women I see regularly who I'll see as often as I can because they have a similar ideal of a good date.  Most of them get mixxed reviews (if they have reviews at all) because they are not every guy's ideal.  In the same way there are some exceptionally well reviewed providers who aren't on MY list because it's clear from their posts and reviews that they aren't a good match for me.  The best Chineese restaurant in the world may not please someone looking for Moroccan food.

for me, that is. i am not trying to provide a "spiritual" sexual experience, i'm hoping to help provide some sort of balance and peace in someone's life. consider the fact that i average about a month of getting-to-know-you time between an initial contact and a first meeting, and many times far longer, exchanging emails, engaging in many very personal in-depth phone conversations, etc. sex itself makes up a minute part of my relationship with most, and as i stated before, is not even a part of the relationship at all with some. for example, i have a long-time friend who has not touched me sexually in over a year, yet several times a week we spend 2 hours or more on the phone sorting through his issues, challenges and internal conflicts. about once a month we share a meal together, whether out or home-cooked by me. and i find myself constantly amazed by the growth and progress he has made and the dramatic changes he has implemented in his journey to live an authentic life. that i played some part in that is just the most fulfilling, joyous feeling!

so yeah, that is where the sweet stuff lies for me in all this...being able to actually make a difference. it's no knock at all against those women who provide something different, or those men who seek something different. as you say mrfisher, authenticity on both sides is the important thing. as long as everyone knows and understands the deal upfront, it's all good.

Here is my thing....

I am out of town... You contact me with your 2 references, Jane and Sally..... I contact them and they say sure "John" is cool, my ATF....  So I look up Jane and Sally and they only have one or two reviews or their reviews are old... So now in my mind, Jane and Sally are suspect references... You only have 2 reviews who are Jane and Sally.... I prob. won't see you.... Suspect info. ..... But if you had 15 reviews and I could contact a few more of the ladies I would feel safer seeing you....

Also, what you write in your reviews gives me a perspective on the type of guy you are and if we would be a good match or not..... Makes that a little easier... Knowing what to expect...

Other than that who cares....

But the *content* of the reviews can encourage me to see him, discourage me from seeing him, or ... have no effect at all. Usually it gives him bonus points or has no discernible effect. A negative change in my attitude about seeing him is very, very rare, and it's usually simply because he seems REALLY into something I'm REALLY not.

If he writes like a royal pain in the ass & calls a lady a "clock watcher" who I know
in fact is not...Pass.

If the review mentions a chick with a pimp & 10 minute "climb through my window when my baby daddy isn't home" or "roadside bj" red light special....No dice.

Oh and guys - FYI - During a session, don't say "Oh I don't read reviews, I'm not on any boards, bla bla bla"...Then when I talk about something, say back, "OH YAYZ I READ THAT you did that!" .... Busted.