TER General Board

Well, actually...
mattradd 40 Reviews 356 reads
posted

the word he used was "most," not "some." And, though he was talking about guys in the hobby, in general, it may be inferred, as you construed, that he was talking about the guys here.

I do think overrating is a problem, but like the news, we tend to only hear the bad news here. When the TER system is running smoothly, we seldom hear a peep out of anyone about how well it works.

Not trying to be argumentative, but rather some clarification.

NotTryingToBeMean2047 reads

After doing research and reading reviews of a lady, I book and go see her. She has a page of reviews, including ones from established guys with reputable track records themselves. Her face pictures are blurred for privacy. I understand reasons for that.

The door opens and the surprise isn't a good one. She is fairly unattractive facially. Less charitable guys might use the phrase "butt ugly". But as far as body type and such, I consider her within the allowable range of accuracy to her pictures. So I'm not saying she was using someone else's pictures, or that they were old or altered. Just that they obscured some really undesirable features.

I didn't perceive any intent to deceive or malice. But I thought she would be cuter. In almost every other circumstance where I've proceeded despite blurred face pictures, I've been very happily surprised. This was the exception.

For reference, I think I have a lot of leeway on my view of ladies. I have seen petite spinners, big-boned ladies approaching 6' and everything in between. Attitude and performance trump looks to me. But this experience was on the outer edge of what even my lenient philosophy could deal with.

I went ahead and her performance was good. She was a nice gal. I'm not looking for any retroactive changes or begrudging the expense. But for the future, I'm looking for advice from both ladies and guys.

In this circumstance, when the door opens and I'm disappointed, what is a fair response for both parties? It wasn't a B&S where I would simply say she wasn't the person I was expecting and leave without giving anything. She was there, on time, and ready to perform. So she is certainly entitled to something, even if I don't go through with the appointment. I know once I go in, the full amount is appropriate. I'm not trying to be mean or inconsiderate, but if this were to happen again sometime, I might choose a different action than what I did, while still not trying to be disrespectful. What do you all think?

Serious responses only, please. And I'm using an alias for obvious reasons. Thanks!

goodandtasty700 reads

you should still pay the full amount as you book the lady's time and she could have book someone else instead.

Guess i just lost what some would declare my mangina status. Questioned by myself all along though.

Have to go make some schmooze purchases now. :-D

Lady's time? What about my time? What about me driving and sitting in traffic?

I guess you would order Filet Mignon in a restaurant and they give you stew meat on skewer and you happily pay the full price and double tip the waiting staff and say thank you very much for fucking me in the ass.

No fucking way I pay anything for wasting my time and effort.

If you don't get what you ordered, you owe nothing.  The analogy with food is accurate.  If I want a blonde with natural D's, and the gal is a brunette with barely B's, it isn't what I scheduled for.  

Disclaimer:  I have no preconceived preferences; I've seen natural and enhanced, blondes, redheads, brunettes and everything in between.

GaGambler615 reads

Don't see women without accurate pics. but that doesn't really help at this point.

It does suck that so many guys with fuck anything with a pussy and rave about "how hot she was", unfortunately I can't think of a thing that can be done about that problem

In my "King Solomon" type wisdom, I might offer tha if you really don't want to go through with the session, and you don't feel misled or deceived, that a hundred dollar cancellation fee might be in order. Just my $.02, I don't really have an answer, just what I would probably do.

It really sucks that some reviewers gush over every woman that doesn't have three heads, or is under 300lbs.

King_Hump484 reads

I consider an appointment for hobbying to be a contract. I won't break it and expect her not to either. If you show up, pay the contracted amount. I had your experience happen to me. I reasearched a highly reviewed TER lady, 9 and 10 for looks, 9 and 10 for performance. Based upon review information, I invited her to my location for three hours. When she arrived, she had the same voice that I had communicated with, but her looks and body were 7 at best. I suffered one of the biggest letdowns of my hobby life. After an awkward hour and half of me and her trying to make it work, she sensed my disinterest and gave me a partial refund. After she left, I used the refunded fee to buy services of a wonderfully beautiful lady whose number I had wisely brought alone. I follow two principles since that experience. First, I will not answer ads of ladies who do not provide a reasonable idea of what they look like facially and body wise. Second, I take TER reviews as a references and not as the word of god.

I know that some clients will crop up and say there is no way to leave once you've entered the situation and that you will suffer the wrath of an angry, vengeful provider if you do.

But honestly?  I tend to think that most reputable reviewed providers (as you say this one was) would not prefer to spend time with and make love to someone who doesn't find them attractive.

When the chemistry or attraction is immediately off the provider that you're spending time with can feel it and will react accordingly- even if it isn't overt, her performance will likely not be what you or she expected because she's taking her cues from someoene that she knows doesn't find her attractive or particularly exciting or arousing.  It happens to every provider ever so often, even the most beautiful and charming and its just up to both parties to be honest and mature about it.

I've excused a handful of guests in a little under 4 years with whom I felt "off" (on my side or theirs) and I've endured clients that I didn't like and who clearly didn't like me (one encounter in DC in particular a couple of years ago is a sore, hurtful memory for me even to this day).  

The money is never worth losing dignity and $300, $400 is a pittance in comparison to servicing someone who doesn't want to be with you.

I would say that its always just best to be honest, say that you aren't feeling good in the situation and leave.

If you're meeting someone whose face is blurred and you find her unattractive- that is a choice that you made (many clients do not see girls with obscured faces at all because they know they must be attracted to her facially).
I would say that in this situation, you could have been relatively honest (or not, choosing a more gentle excuse) but paid her cancellation fee or asked what would be an appropriate minimal donation for the time that you reserved with her so that you could leave on the best possible terms.

If you're meeting someone whose pictures are wholly unrepresentative you don't owe her anything but an explanation and a respectful exit.

I hope this helps.  We're all adults and honesty (coupled with respect) is always the best policy.

Part of the problem is grade inflation and guys grading true "5s" & "6s" as  8s  & 9s.

Most of the saps in the hobby have never fucked anything over 5 or 6 ever, and many are sad sack that fall in love with the gal. These cretins ruin the hobby for everyone by dummying down the hobby & raising expectations unrealistically.

CreamOfBeef464 reads

I checked out your reviews and a third of what you rate as 8-9 in the looks department would only score a 5-6 from me.....

Point being everyone has their own unique preferences. All the more reason when researching to determine the reviewers "profile/ type" to see if you have similiar taste.

Having a good idea of how the reviewers in the area rate various women you've seen in common, and how they've rated some of the ladies in the area that have un-blurred pictures, is a good strategy to avoid disappointments. There are several ladies in my area that get consistant 8-10 for looks that I would not care to see. Not that I don't think someone else could not find them attractive, but I don't, just like there are movie and TV stars, and models that others find attractive, yet I don't.

I also have a good radar for TGTBT.

I mostly agree with Ally, yet I believe in Emily Post.

"Gentlemen, you know you have the right to change your mind."

People seem to see changing your mind as some sort of weakness. It's as though these days, being unflinchingly loyal and pigheaded is a virtue. Trying to be the nice person, you agreed to do things you'll later regret. And because you are saying yes when you really mean no, you'll end up cheating both yourself and the other person involved. It’s an irrefutable law of the universe: You always get exactly what you intend -- and your intention was to be seen by others as the dependable one, even if that came at a high expense to your personally.

And changing your mind does not mean acting irresponsibly; it's just the opposite. When you honor what you know your spirit is telling you to do.

The reality is that everything that has happened between then and now has contributed to a new understanding and therefore one views may change.

In this particular case here, there are two ways you can present the change in the program. The honest way and the Emily Post way. In my humble opinion, in this particular case, you should chose the Emily Post way. It is called manners.

Little white lies: Their intent is ostensibly to spare someone’s feelings, such as: saying you won’t be able to attend a party that you just don’t want to attend.

My opinion...

I wouldn't have fucking done it.

Yeah, you expected this, but got that when she opened the door? Shit! I'd be pissed. I would've said 'WTF!' and walked. No fee, no shit.

I don't give a fuck about her feelings when my money is concerned. Especially if I didn't know her.

I'm in the position where I can, and do, talk with ladies I haven't seen yet to get to know each other and share sensitive things that others aren't privy to.

You'll NEVER hear from me that I showed up and someone less than I expected opened the door and went through with the date anyway.

Fuck that shit! I work too goddam hard for my money to settle for someone less.

GaGambler412 reads

That of course doesn't mean that I don't agree with you, because I do. lol

Life is too short to fuck ugly women.

TER is a great source for information, but it is only as good as it's members. Unfortunatley, like Fuzzy stated, some guys here have never fucked anything hotter than a six, and try to push these skanks off as hotties.

If some of these guys would grow a set of balls and start rating girls honestly, the problem would solve itself.

Oh BTW, I am on number two as well. lol

...Is that a handful of especially vocal members try to pawn their taste off on everyone else.

Everyone gets it - yes, many men are looking for a Penthouse Pet or someone who could moonlight as a stripper at the best club.

I don't think its fair to say "we all know what is 'really hot' or 'once-in-a-lifetime'" ('model material' is somehow less ambiguous to me than 6,7,8 or 10 because models are exceptionally beautiful and have certain specs that most women, even very attractive women, just don't.  But apparently we could be talking about a Lane Bryant model, a hand model, a foot model, a hosiery/leg model or any number of kinds of models on TER lol).

Grade inflation is an issue - but I think that some who use the database need to have a live and let live attitude because many men simply don't hold preferences and desensitization over how women "should look" gleaned from mass media and pornography.
If a fat girl or that girl with buck teeth or freckles gives a guy a rock hard erection when he looks at her picture, obviously she's "really hot" to him and those of you who would disagree can't dictate or regulate anther's taste.

I read on some board where a client said "if the review doesn't refer to the accuracy of her photographs or her body or general appearance its not useful in me determining whether I'd want to spend time with her".  
Those were wise words and something to consider for those who choose based upon appearance- if everyone who chose looks over performance would consider each review with an approach like him instead of taking numbers and vague reviews at face value then there would be a lot less complaints about grade inflation.

First, yes, I am a visual creature. I've never eluded to the fact I'm not. As a matter of fact, I've been told on more than one occasion that I'm a good-looking guy. After awhile, you have to believe it. Know what I'm sayin'?

HOWEVER, part of my process when I chose to see a lady includes her performance as well as her looks. With the exception of one, I believe I made the best decisions as far as what it is exactly what I'm in the market for.

I have seen some BEAUTIFUL ladies that have properly fucked the shit out of me.

Yeah, my opinion of 'beauty' most definitely differs from other guys. But most, I believe, would love to have been in my shoes when I met these ladies, not only from the beauty standpoint, but their performance as well.

And I'm not just talking about 'providers' either.

I fuck gorgeous women. That's what I do. Like Gambler said, life's too short to fuck the uglies. And especially, why pay for it? Doesn't make any fucking sense.

Yeah, I like to brag. But you can't brag if it isn't true.

And what kinda hobbyist would I be, especially on TER, if I gave off confusing signals or lame-ass reviews on someone I wouldn't ordinarily see?

Kidding.  I used that line on someone else recently - and I just cracked myself up.

I wasn't contesting any client's right to fuck beautiful women- and I didn't actually comment on anything that you had to say either.

My comments were directed to my obnoxious but adorable friend GAGambler who referred to grade inflation.

...And unfortunately you are wrong, bragging and truth are not mutually-exclusive (*as some reviewers and board personalities demonstrate daily*).  For God's sake, MN had a known  paraplegic reviewer talking about standing doggie and all kinds of acrobatics.  

As far as your reviews go, considering that all of your reviews feature women you've rated as "10s" - I would think that some other reviewers would find your profile useless in terms of gauging attractiveness even if they were all "Once in a lifetime" to you.  But the point is- its *your* thing.  Maybe all of those girls were absolute 10s to you and everyone should remember that there is no such thing as altruism in this business.  Clients write reviews for themselves as much as they do for the "system" or other users (if not more).

But you're right. I did give those ladies '10s' in appearance because they were, are hotter than fuck in my eyes. But you'll notice their performance scores differ, and some commensurate by their scores from other gents not by what I read, but by I truly believed in my experiences.

Actually, one got a 9 for performance when I gave her a 10. But TER and their fucking system... ;)  

But again, I do my homework. I just do not settle for less.

I'm not saying a lady I wouldn't ordinarily see is a lesser person. God no. That's fucked up.

I'm just saying, why would anyone pay for and endure any service that they didn't originally want in the firstplace?

And I practice this in 'real' life also. Whether I'm getting a meal or whatever. I have no problem speaking my mind, sober even ;) , when I feel I'm not getting my money's worth, or my idea of what it is exactly I think I should get.

So yeah, you can imagine, I do get into quite a few arguments! LOL!!!

Col. Nathan Jessop410 reads

as Ally had said not all the 10's you put up in your reviews would be 10's to other hobbyist.

I am one of them. Not only that, you hit it lucking getting a 9 for a CBJ passed, when by the rules it is not deserving of that score.

It just goes to show one that the scores and the system both suck, and it is buyer beware out there at all times.

Unless you've been with this lady, you wouldn't know WTF I'm talking about.

The lady doesn't have 130 somewhat reviews for nothing.

BTW, wise-ass, she posted this week she went BBBJ GFE, and I for one can't wait to partake in her new menu!

Col. Nathan Jessop387 reads

that WOULD justify a 9.

Again, the point of this thread is what would you do and several times you have professed your opinion as to the fact that "fuck her, she deserves nothing if I do not find her attractive", which is again your opinion, not everyone's no matter how many WTF's you re-post to others opinions. We get it okay?

I must agree. You and georgiaga like latinas. I like natural blondes that have light colored eyes. To each his own. I know what my 8 plus standard is for women that I want to meet, I can give the names of two actresses that met that standard when they were young, but will not. Luckily for me, I have met two providers that met my standard and a host of others that were in the neighborhood. Nothing turns me off more than hobbyists inflating my type of lady's score to create inaccuracies. I posted to another thread where an agency was snatching photos of gorgeous eastern european escorts who work or did work in London. Surprisingly, the agency or it's cohort is listed on RS2K. Services like RS2K and TER we rely on. If inaccuracy creeps into them, who do we trust?

If you saw my reviews, you'd see 2 ladies are black, 1 is a blonde caucasian, 1 is half Hawaiian, and 1 is half Chinese.

I have no preference, what-so-ever, as to a lady's skin and/or hair color. Just HWP, and a willingness to fuck the taste out of my mouth.

Well, she has to have a pretty face. And hope to God she doesn't scrape my dick with her teeth when she goes down on it. ;)

Your website is a perfect illustration of how a provider should set up a site. Photos and information give a picture of how you are, without revealing your identity to anyone except may be your mom. But if your mom bust you, ask her what she was doing looking at your website. All kidding aside, I prefer angle shots of a lady's face and no blurring of photos. But, your blurring was the right amount.

And you're right. Life's too short to fuck the uglies.

That's why I go into great lengths to make sure I'm gonna get what I'm looking for. Whether it means looking at photos, back-channeling with other gents as to their experiences, or even doing more 'clandestine' activities. Even having other gents refer me, knowing my tastes and what I like, is very helpful.

I just can't fucking believe some of these pussies would say 'ah, what the hell' and go thru with it. Fucking amazes me.

If they have money to blow like that, send it to you and me, Gambler. We'll put it to some DAMN good use and they can jack-off while they read our experiences on the boards of how we went thru 30 latinas in 3 days, or some shit like that! ;)

the word he used was "most," not "some." And, though he was talking about guys in the hobby, in general, it may be inferred, as you construed, that he was talking about the guys here.

I do think overrating is a problem, but like the news, we tend to only hear the bad news here. When the TER system is running smoothly, we seldom hear a peep out of anyone about how well it works.

Not trying to be argumentative, but rather some clarification.

Priapus53400 reads

If it were me, I woulda made a BS excuse to spare
her feelings, then walked out.

2muchTruth4U398 reads

in civvieworld it seems to be mishy.....

can't say I blame ya I guess

I'd do it the same way if I felt inclined to do a mercy fuck and forgot the bag...   LOL

octovert415 reads

Thanks for the warning about blurred photos, because I kept reading that they were for privacy and that. Before I would see a blurred provider I would want to see some proper facial shots after she is satisfied about the screening results.

My facial scale is about like this:
1) Deformity Circus face
2) Rocks and Hammer face
3) Kitchen Doll face (like that made by painting up a wooden spoon)
4) Average face (minimal hottie)
5) Young Cashier face (often moderately hot)
6) Young Professional face (such as a young Mediterranean surgeon I went to recently)

A provider south of Boston shows all but her eyes in photos, and one reviewer was disappointed to see her whole face. That leaves me wondering what part of her face was a turn-off, when the rest of her looks so good.

but, IMHO, not required. "I'm sorry. I don't think this is going to work." and head on out.

It's your money; spend it like you want. Personally, I'd leave a cancellation fee but, like I said, it's your money.

If you want to make sure this doesn't happen again, you could attend some M&Gs to meet ladies in person or you could ask for a pic after you've cleared the lady's screening.

I'm sure some people are sick of hearing my shit about NOT leaving a 'cancellation fee'.

There's a certain amount of respect in any market.

But goddam. When you're expecting a lady, 5' 6", 120 lbs, and meet someone 5' 200 lbs, that's a gross misrepresentation.

Alright, that's an extreme I know. But fuck, it applies.

How can any self-respecting lady not represent herself as she truly is? There's a market for everyone. Some guys like skinny girls. Some like fatter girls. Some like black. Some like white. Or brown. Or yellow. Polkadot. Whatever.

I just don't believe any lady should expect any kind of fee if the guy wasn't pleased when tbey met initially.

Shit, the thought occurred to me, maybe some do this on purpose. They get money for actually not doing anything. Fucked up, huh?

Get paid for not doing shit. What a novel concept.  

According to the OP, the lady didn't misrepresent herself, the OP just didn't do his homework well enough.  That's not her fault and, in this particular case, I'd leave a cancellation fee since part of the responsibility was mine.

If a lady misrepresents herself, then I agree with you.

Actually, I think it's fucked up anyway.

You're right. He didn't do his homework well enough. But still.

I just couldn't go thru with it. I'm sorry.

If it was me, I'd walk. I've went long enough without pussy that I can do it easily. I know what a drought is.

But when I pay for it? Oh yeah! I'm very picky.

I just can't imagine myself in that situation.

Well MP, if there is a significant difference between what the girl looks like in person, versus what her pics showed in her ads, then you would be right. That is clearly bogus on her part, unacceptable, and you would be well within your rights to walk out without leaving a dime.

But that isn't the case with what the OP describes. According to him, her pics matched her appearance. The disappointment was in the fact that her face was not appealing, and her pics were blurred.

So why should she be penalized when she made an honest effort to provide accurate pics? If the lady made a fair effort to be honest in her representation of herself, then the fault is not on her.

How about this - some ladies blur their faces for privacy. That is their perogative. Any man who chooses to see her knows he might be seeing a lady with a rockin body, but a face that just might stop a clock. You pays your money and you takes your chances fella. If a pretty face is a priority, then limit your selection to ladies with unblurred pics, or get to some M&G's so you can look before you buy. OR for God's sake just tell her that Doggy happens to be your absolute all time favorite position, and steer her away from any mirrors that might frighten you while you get your freak on.

There are lots of options here. Walking out without paying, thus wasting her time and taking income from her is not one of them. There are situations when its perfectly Ok to just walk out. This isn't one of them.

JoJo_McFugly407 reads

every time the provider opens the door and sees one of us standing there. Maybe some pudgy, balding, nerd, standing 5'2", 4 teeth, and 7 fingers.  Surprise!!!  But she smiles, gives him a hug, goes into the bathroom to change (and puke), and comes back.  She even comments how cute that huge mole is. The one right between your eyes with 3 long hairs growing out of it.
Granted, she knew there would be days like this when she joined up, but still, she even smiles as you snort when you laugh.

All this aside, no, I wouldn't have gone thru with it, but would have paid a cancellation fee.
All I can say is, I'm just glad they don't require face pics of us prior to the date!


Disclaimer:  None of the above descriptive images refer to MP67.  He's a damn good looking guy and will be the FIRST to admit it.  If you don't believe him, just as mrfisher.  LMAO

You know what? You're absolutely right! And mrfisher wouldn't be the only one to attest to this! LOL!!!

But you are right, also, that in it can be quite a shock when a lady opens a door to see a hideously grotesque man standing there, all drooling and panting with great expectations.

But this is the 'profession' she chose. Granted, it could be a 'side job' because she needs the extra money, or she does it because she truly loves to fuck, and is so good at it, that she figures she should get paid for it. Whatever.

I can talk all goddam day how good-looking I am,  which is a joke, BTW, but truthfully I don't have the biggest dick, and have a propensity to cum quite often. Is that good or bad, I don't know. That's up to the ladies to decide.

We all have our quirks.

But the thing is, she's getting PAID. One way or the other. And I just can't see giving a woman money for something I don't want especially if I didn't partake in it.

Like I said, I do my homework and back-channel. I'm not going to go in blind and settle for something I don't expect.

JMO

NotTryingToBeMean402 reads

Well, sort of as expected, the replies run the gamut from her deserving full compensation regardless, because she put the time aside, to give her nothing and bail out.

In some ways, to my great shock and consternation, some of the wisest words came from GaGambler, who suggested I not put myself in the position of surprise in the first place. Although 9/10 surprises are good, I wasn't really ready for the 1/10. So perhaps it might be worth my time to stick to ladies where I have a better idea of their looks, either from non-blurred websites, or from M&G's and such. That would limit my options a little, but there are indeed many fish in the sea.

Or if I do venture into the unknown again and get disappointed, I think I'll try to go with Ally Moore's advice and just deal with it straight up. Try to be as gentle as possible, but leave with things in some sort of financial compromise. I think the biggest reason I didn't was simply surprise. I was caught off guard and hadn't really contemplated this scenario very much.

Anyway, I appreciate all the folks who pitched in honest and well-articulated replies. Even though you don't know who you've helped, you have indeed helped. Thanks!

NotTryingToBeMean

PS To balance things out, and perhaps appease the prurient interests of the inarticulate responders, I'll say that her face did look much better with a big creamy splash on it.

RAYBANSTAN340 reads

I think a small note in the details of the review area would be suitable. Also keep note of who those reviewers are. Note their style and see if yours lines up the same way.

And take off your glasses.

Why some gals even mistake me for MP67 by candlelight.

... I started co-hosting Meet n Greets n LA and Las Vegas. No more eye-popping surprises for this old Hedonist.

   But even in the days Before TER, if the door opened and someone other than the photo stood there... I'm sorry, but this isn't going to happen, you aren't the person in the photo. Thanks but no thanks.

So why is that attitude so weird and different?

Register Now!