Hi,

I posted last week asking about providers asking for references versus not asking (and comparing it to professional dominatrices who usually do not ask for references).

One hobbyist who replied cautioned that I should be wary of providers who don't ask for references (I am loosely paraphrasing here).  

If a provider has good reviews, should it matter that she doesn't ask for references?  What does/would someone not asking for references indicate to you?

Thanks in advance for replying!!

heinous

A provider, in my opinion, that asks for references (as I do) is making sure for her safety not only from LE but from beaters, rip offs, but also in general a-- holes.  

And a cop isn't going to ask you for references, they want you to come right over so they can bust you.

So a gal may have good reviews but (again, in my opinion) she is not playing safe. Just my two cents.

Have you found a legitimate, well-reviewed provider listed here on TER who does not ask a new client for references?

to want to verify who I am and/or my character, I'm not sure she is a person I want to get intimate with.

I think it would indicate a far too easy-going mannerism, which is fine, but personal safety and assurance of that safety should be of top-most priority.

Going along with what charlotte says, safety is the issue and it would seem to me that a set up of le would not ask for references.
That was what I was referring to in the last post. all providers ask for references if she doesn't that should be a big alert, dont you think?

I have other ways to screen hobbyists. Non invasive and works. I do contact Provider's as well. I do see new hobbyists, and that is a small challenge, but, I cover all grounds and it works out splendidly!

Be safe!  xoxox


Shelby



Thanks!



-- Modified on 7/20/2008 8:07:39 PM

Boston,  you can't! You are right.  I am extremely strict in my screening.

 Have to start somewhere.  



shelby xo

I've seen several well reviewed providers who don't ask for references. Some providers don't trust other providers and use other ways to screen. Some don't screen at all and are still good.

While checking references is certainly safer, in my neck of the woods at least, I would go flat broke if I insisted on references for every gent that I see. Not only that, but if the reference happens to be for a local lady, its a crap shoot on whether I will get a response at all, or if I do get a response, whether the response I get is honest. Sad, but true.

So, when seeing someone incall, I don't ask for references, but I won't do outcall without a reference. Rest assured though, this does not mean I do not have other means at my disposal to ensure my safety. I do not have a death wish after all, and I am certainly not stupid.

So if the lady you are interested in doesn't ask for references, it is not necessarily a sign that she does not care for her own safety. If she has a lengthy review history, and a good reputation among her community, chances are she is safe and is circumspect in other less visible ways about taking care of her safety. If the lady has no or few reviews though, not asking for a reference could mean she isn't well schooled in how to take care of herself, hence putting you at risk by seeing her.

For me, it depends on the situation. If a client has a reference to offer I am happy to accept it. If they are visiting with me for the first time and they have never met someone else, I tend to trust my intuition and insticts when going through my screening process. While I want to make sure that I am safe and comfortable, I want to make sure that my date is comfortable with the process as well. Thus, sometimes it is good to play by ear and to remain a bit flexible when booking a date in my opion.---Sitara Devi

Maybe  some of them have a secret agent way to find out things about us..
 A couple  times when I was just getting started on TER I asked LadyXXX and Lady XXXX which refs they checked..{I used to give multiple refs on email first contact} ..One of them told me she checked out my phone number...The other one said she has different ways to find out about her clients but didn't elaborate..Later I googled my name and number and its not there.. So maybe there is a provider review board for phone numbers???

you think the cops havent caught on to providers using references ?

they cant be faked ?

I recall a Fav lady who, when I was a total newbie, asked for my landline number...  not to call but to verify.  There are services that do a reverse directory.  I presume she cross checked it with the information I provided.
skb

I've had one provider to ask for a reference. When she called the reference, the reply she got was, "Oh yeah, he's cool." The others are TER-reviewed. Maybe they have other ways of checking; I never asked and they never said.
jhb

I didn't used to get references. And now only part of the time.

References are not a sure thing.

Alot of times you are taking a chance on an unknown client & an unknown lady whom you do not know how good her screening is, etc. Mabey she sees alot of jerky guys and thinks he is just great.

I don't see a problem with if she doesn't ask. As long as she has some sort of method to feel safe with the client. And that is different for every gal.

Sara

I am leaning towards your reasoning Imallin...I just didn't want to post that...but, I do agree...


oops!  Oh well...

Although I would love it if you gave me references I don't always need them. In your case I would write to the ladies that you have reviewed and ask them if they remembered you. We have so many ways at our disposal to check you out, especially if you have any kind of web presences. It is always good manners to include your references in your first contact so that we don't have to ask for them. Pay attention to the ladies web-site. Most will ask for references. It shows us that you have taken the time to read through our site when choosing your companion. And that you care enough to follow instructions.
Kisses
Heather

If you bother to read them, you'll find that they offer up several ways of verification that they will accept. They will tell you which verification sites they belong to. (Date-Check, P411, RS2K) Some ask for personal contact information, some references. I don't like to fill out the appointment forms. They seem too impersonal to me, and let's face it, getting very, very personal is why I'm contacting them in the first place. I send the initial email, and introduce myself, offer my contact information, tell her which verification sites I belong to, and let her know that I will, of course, provide references, if she needs them. Another thing to remember is to always let a lady know first if you intend to use her as a reference.

*

I screen 100% of the time. If you ask the ladies who got busted, shorted, assaulted if they screened the gent, the answer is almost always no. I know it is hard to screen, but look at the dangers. You may squeak by for years without screening and then meet a murdered or LE and have your life destroyed.

Providers need more than a telephone number. Unless they are using certain paid sites they need to know where you work and what your last name is at the least.  This helps to get rid of a lot of the scam artist out there.

As far as provider references, it is not a reference from any provider, but a well reviewed provider.

If you do not screen (via employment or provider) you are walking/allowing a man to walk into your in call that you have no clue about. He could have just gotten out of prison for rape. He could be LE. I screen profusely and I do very well. I make almost 6 figures a year. So you can do very well AND screen.

To all of you who do not screen please be careful. I do not want you to end up being a victim of rape, murder, or a bust. Think of your children, your parents, your friends.

How many people's guts have led them straight to harm's way??

I always respond when a guy tries to use me for reference who I have absolutely not seen.

I would rather quit than get mixed up in indiscretion.
I value privacy and confidentiality.
I have a way for my guests to get a reference from me.
I do not not want to even be associated that way.
I have no problem verifying references for models.
I sure as hell do not respond to certain kinds of inquiries.
I never assume it's legit . and furthermore. None of anybody's business who I have seen or who has seen me.
It's barking up the wrong tree!!
I wanted to have my business in the streets I would go back to dancing in clubs where the LE could walk right up to me a mess with me like they do in some areas.

  If you guys knew how to be discreet and stop using so much inappropriate language  it wouldn't be so necessary.
Instead of references I forgo the envelope.
Ha! Are you kidding me?
It's the regulars who will short ya!
They feel privileged and like "aw, she like me so much she won't mind if it's a little light"

I am not going to have my info on any other lady's computer, blackberry, nothing!!

I used to work in Jackson Square as a "cold Reader" , a card reader and etc.
I usually get a feeling about guys and have put over 800 people on m
y SL-shit list for admitted drug use.
I refuse to see anyone associated with drugs.
If I get a bad feeling I cancel the appointment - every time. If I think he's LE or just get a spooked I just cancel-period.

I hire security.
I have a panic button in every room.
I usually rely on having someone in the other room with a bat.lol
If he is a regular I can let my security take a break or wear an ipod so they don't hear any strange noises.
I do not even appreciate the clients running their mouth about me to the other ladies they see.
 I don't gossip about my guests and I don't appreciate it either.
 Through TER I have found out the guys can be very loose lipped .
 I have heard some really hot stories about other ladies but because I  love sex stories and feel envious of hobbiest and have penis envy at times.
I wish I could just leave the U.S.
 I tell each and every gentlemen exactly how to get a reference from me before he leaves.
 I would love to share this method but I am too afraid .
  Maybe I can get one of the guys to share it but my guests are too afraid to go TER. They only read it . They do not participate out of fear.
  They don't find the hobbyists hanged somewhere.

This is one of those "religious" issues and people have hard opinions on both sides.

I do not see girls who want personal info that can be traced. It does not make me feel safer knowing there is a link back to me on the computer of someone who may be in this business for years after I have seen a girl (and not necessarily in the control of that girl). Just ask NY Governor Spitzer how safe it made him -- or the other guys who were contacted by LE after the books of the agencies were seized. In NY, a prominent athlete had his name dragged through the papers when his name turned up in that agency's books.

As to why would a girl who doesn't screen be risky? The only reason is that she might be LE working on a sting.

The safest behavior, I think, is to work with girls who have reputations at sites like this. And to build your own reputation so that girls who understand the sites will know you're OK. I also use date-check.

As a matter of fact, I'm supposed to see her tomorrow based upon feedback you gave me.

when I accept a refs from another Companion she herself must be well reviewed, have a website and so on.
I don't see LE setting up all this and the guy jumping through all these hoops. They will move on to an easier catch. One who does not check refs.
If I am given the name of a companion and I can't find her out there on the web, it's not a good refs and I won't accept it.  A Lady's reputation is everything and not 0nly for your research but for mine as well.
Also we can get a feel for the Gentlemen by what the Lady has to say. If he's safe, fun a Gentleman, or then again if hes difficult or just plain weird. so refs are very important for both our safety and to ensure it will be a good interlude.

Call me in the morning and we can talk about it.  I'm on deck for tonight with your friend, and if it goes the way I expect...I'll do what I can.