I would have to say that if she were to do the adventurous things that the hobby has presented then no I would not continue... howver I can say that my wife and I were having problems before I started hobby and now it seems we are doing better now that the wild side is satisfied...

... is that women already have THEIR form of polygamy sanctified.

A woman can only bear (with rare exceptions) the child of one man at a time. Thus, in a reproductive sense, HER form of polygamy (bearing the children of multiple males) has been renamed as "serial monogamy" to make it seem like monogamy when really, in a biological sense, it is polygamy. (Remember, women end relationships twice as often as men.)

The male form of polygamy, as we are not limited by a 9 month gestation, is simultaneous mates. That, of course, is seen as sinful; likely because of the early influence of goddess cults on the major monotheistic religions. But the end result is the same: offspring with multiple mates.

Men and women should be held to the same biological standards.

monogamy is a belief and practice that has latter day religious influence rather than something logical.

I realized I'm more of a  polygamy kind guy.

too many women to see,
not enough time.

I never did because the sex was always very good. However, at the end of my first (and very long marriage) the frequency dropped to intolerable levels for so long that I started to check out escort sites. I had never seen an escort and new nothing about it. I didn't follow throught till after the divorce. Since then, I have never done so DURING a relationship, because the sex has been good till a break up.

The question is tough for me to say 'yes' or 'no', because I am a 'no cheating' sort. But knowing ewhat I know nom combined with getting older I would NEVER allow myself to put up with what I did at the end of my first marriage.

Would I end a relationship more quickly without the spice? yes (if she was able to spice it up)... Would I tell an SO that I would seek the spice elsewhere? yes... Would I then do it if things didn't change? I might not until a break up... Would I ask an SO for her acceptance of my what I was doing is she COULDN'T spice it up? yes... Would I do it, without mentioning it and keep it to myself? I don't think so.

Only time will tell for sure.

but as long as I was getting some at home at least once or twice a week, I never considered seeing escorts.

After about five or six years however, I was pretty much down to a few times a year and decided enough was enough.

...continue to cheat on your wife or SO if she could offer the services that the providers do?  If yes, why?

I continue to wrestle with it as it seems like the sex life with the wife is improving.  For me I'll prolly continue to go to providers for the time being because they offer more fun stuff on the menu.  And I hate to say it but, they're (often younger) bodies look better.

What's your reason?

There's a poll right near the top of the page that relates to your question.

I couldn't find it.  Can you be more specific with the title of the thread?  BTW, how do you like the Cheezy alias?  Has a good ring to it, don't you think?

I went through several relationships...  never looked at another woman when I was in a relationship.  Even my first marriage...   5 miserable years...  I totally loved her despite a sexless marriage & being blamed for events that she put in motion.   My second & currant marriage...  I never looked outside for nearly 20 years.   I have a progressive medical conditin & sexuality has been affected...  and may someday (soon) be taken from me.  It was apparent that sex at home was becoming less frequent & smaller menu.  
I realized that there were some experiences I had never had & would not unless I took action & went outside.  I do not want to someday wish I had tried something.   I'm not trying to swing from the chandelier here!
So I would stop IF even a reasonable sex life at home was available.  
j

Good honest answer.  Thanks.  Best of luck to you with your medical condition.

It's not the same as your query, but similar.  I invented the Cheezy alias because I thought your handle was funny and I like to play with words.  Glad you like it.  I'm actually inicky46.  Not trying to hide, just havin' fun.  I  will often "out" my own aliases.

but i'm trying to fight a bad hangover so I had to read it twice to comprehend it lol

in general I agree but with one difference,

with the invention of condoms and other birth control, women are not limited to a nine month gestation. technology enables them to be as  promiscuous as they  wish...

imho, nothing in our genetics says that we need to practice monogamy.

as for me, my upbringing and bigger head are used to monogomy but my little head refuses to  cooperate. lmfao

I think men(and women) need to detach to have sex with same person for years . Having your own life in real intertwined with wife might work. Hey if nothing else it make for a experience
Smile xoxooxox. done take your self so serious .

-- Modified on 10/24/2011 10:10:05 AM

I've only been at this since March of this year. After almost 20 years of a monogamous relationship with my wife, our sex life was really in the crapper. It got to the point that I got tired of asking and just lived with the once a month and special occassion sex. The menu was very bland. I wasn't looking for anything crazy, just bj's and a few positions would've sufficed.  I didn't realize the resentment I had and how it was effecting our interactions. Afterall, why would I want to get all romantic and heated up, just to be turned down. I lost my mojo along the way. To be totally fair to the wife, the kids drain her, She came down with a physical illness that almost kiilled her, and the meds fucked her up emotionally. Depression followed a few years later. As a husband, what the fuck are you supposed to do?  Things got real bad at home and I had a business trip planned earlier this year. I was on line planning my trip and starting looking around at the night life available in the city I was travellling. One thing lead to another and bang...I found TER.
Things have gotten a lot better at home since I found this wonderful site and started seeing providers. My wife started taking some meds for the depression and she has gotten better too. We are having sex 1-2 times a week. The menu is limited. The big killer for me is no bj's! I just can't go on living w/o bj's. I went 2-3 years w/o, and I'm not going back to no bj's. I've got my sex drive back. My wife has gotten some of hers back, and we are both enjoying sex once again. To answer your question; even if the wife did step it up, I don't think I could ever totally give up seeing providers. In a perfect world I'd like to get my wife to join me.

Oops!  For a minute there I thought you meant MP67!

Providers don't do anythin my wife won't do.  Frequency isn't an issue either.  I think it's a combination of the excitment and variety.

Lucky guy.  Does the wife know (open marriage)?

Do I take myself seriously?  I didn't think so.

Similar situation as you. Hobbying is on the "bucket list".
Almost ready to make the first call. Still doing my "homeworK".
This site has been immensely informative.

I still hobby. so I guess not but I don't consider my hobbying cheating. It is different with our marriage because we both have sex out side of our marriage with each others permission. Now if she asks me to stop hobbying I would even if she did not stop providing. I hobby only with my wife's blessing.

My reason for hobbying? It is fun to do different kinds of ladies young ones, old one,s thin ones, fat ones, different races extra. I like variety I like getting to know the ladies. I have made friends that I feel will last past my hobbying. My wife gets off on my tails of seeing providers. It brings balance in our relationship as she gets plenty of side action with her job. It makes my wife feel less guilty about her choices. I like sex.

I doubt very much I would stop. I've just come to enjoy the variety. For instance, I have a rotating group of 3 or so ladies I alternate between, and after a half dozen or so visits, I will usually stop seeing a particular lady. I also try to see quality travelers on the odd occasion when they come trough my small city. Its like sleeping with a civie woman for the first time: the anticipation of meeting her, chatting with her, seeing her body for the first time, and slipping inside her. In short, the CHASE. Spice it up with the illegal nature and the riskconsequences of getting caught, and I can't see giving the hobby up.

less strain on a relationship with a SO than an affair.  Women having affairs with married men often put pressure on the guy to get a divorce, spend more time with them, etc.  With hobbying, we pay the lady to leave after an hour or more of time with them.

Very similar to my story.  Her physical problems and menopause just sapped her sex drive.  Once every six to eight weeks because "we ought to" but that was it.  No variety in the menu.  She said when, how and for how long and it was rare always the same.  I took up the hobby after spending about three months doing research.  Nothing wild or crazy.  Just some fun sex with a little variety once a month or so.  The ladies have been attractive and very nice.  

I do love my wife and would neve want to leave her. r It's just that I need more than she's prepared to give.  Thanks to the hobby my resentment of her lack of desire has disappeared.  I can enjoy her for what she can bring to the relationsip instead of resenting her for what she can't.  If she suddenly got her sex drive back I would drop the hobby in a minute...but I would miss it.

I've been seeing providers since before I was married.  
I've never really stopped, sometimes reduced my frequency from time to time, but always enjoyed providers on the side.