I would have to say no, it is not. Sex is just a physical act, and has little sway over the truly powerful emotions associated with loss, grief, anguish.

It might distract you a bit as time heals your wounds, but it is no tonic unto itself.

Be selfish; take care of yourself. No one would hold that against you. It's just a freakin' message board post like a bazillion others. Hell, post your life's story if it makes you feel better. I can choose to stop reading whenever I want.

If I were me, and I am , and I were feeling really vulnerable emotionally, I would NOT have a session with a provider. Or, I wouldn't make it a sexual session. Just me.

I don't think the actual sex is necessarily as important as the feeling of being held close by another human being.  In fact some men have problems functioning in a sexual way when they are depressed.  I hope your meeting with the lady helps to lift your sadness.

When someone dies, I get depressed, but I also get this "life is short", "seize the day" attitude which makes me want to enjoy life while I can.  This of course means more hobbying.  If there is anything that will make you feel alive, it's this hobby.  Sorry about your losses, hope you feel better.

- link

While your situation different, I'm reminded in reading of your concerns & present state of mind of what I went through last year shorly after the events of 9/11.  I won't bore everyone with all the details, but suffice to say that two family members very dear to me were in the DC area & it's not inconceivable that they might have been among the casualities.  My personality is such that I've always been calm, cool, & collected in the face of danger or crisis...but afterwards am sometimes shaken when I realize what might have been.  And 9/11 definitely had that effect on me.

I thought perhaps a session with a gal I'd seen before might help bring my frame of mind back to normal, so I arranged such a date.  I usually chit-chat a bit as a prelude anyway, but in this case we (mostly me I guess) somehow ended up talking about 9/11 & my family members...not sure how long we talked, but it was a lengthy conversation.  She was quite understanding of how I felt, & seemed not to mind at all that I needed to talk about it...even shared some similar personal things with me.  

We ended up in the sack having our usual good time, but frankly I'm not even sure, considering my frame of mind, I could have gotten it up without the conversation first to relieve some of the stress I was feeling.

I can't say that the date provided a great deal of healing, but it was perhaps something like an aspirin to provide some temporary relief.  But the aspirin wasn't the sex..it was simply being with another human being who understood & cared enough to allow the feelings to be shared.

Sex has emotional and psychological effects

I have found that sex can inspire a sudden burst of creativity. It can invigorate one with aggressive energy toward accomplishment, provide balance to a complex situation to allow clear decision-making. Make no mistake, it has healing properties.

There’s a reason that humankind obsesses over sex, and finds it so interesting, so exciting and so vitally important. Because it is.

rik

Sorry for your losses.  You are using sex as a distraction most men do.  Men use many things for distractions, because as long as you are distracted you don't have to deal with life or yourself.  Its scary to deal with yourself and to feel all the multitude of feelings you have, and have probably been holding for a long time.  When you do decide to sit down with yourself and feel it all and acknowledge it all you will free it all and move into to a place of love, that is really all you are.  Until you feel your true self you will be in denial of your amazing self.  Then you can have love with someone and have the most incredible sex you've ever had and it will blow your mind and you will be able to feel it rather than use it as a distraction.  Good Luck, its a bumpy ride and totally worth it.