Yesterday was the day that just might change everything. My wife found out about my hobbying.

I know many come to the hobby justifiably because they are not getting satisfaction at home. That was not my case. I had simply compartmentalized this part of my life and thought I was careful enough so that the walls would not be breached. I was wrong. I got sloppy.

Take whatever lesson from this that you'd like. All I feel is scared. I'm looking at my two young boys and hoping I don't have to turn into an every other weekend father.

You better start begging forgiveness and get couples therapy as soon as possible. I would also get a family law attorney ASP. If you don't mind me asking what tripped you up? If I faced losing my son I don't know what I would do.

...when I told the now -ex-wife that I couldn't do it anymore, she went on the warpath and used every weapon available to her, primarily our two kids. Since California was (and still is) much more biased toward the mother, I wound up with visitation rights -- but exercised at the discretion of my children, then 12 and 7! Since Mom forced them to choose between the two of their parents, they naturally sided with Mom. 17 years later and I've only recently regained contact with my son, and my daughter has pretty much put the entire family in her rear-view mirror. Sadly enough, both of the kids want little or nothing to do with her now, so her plan had unintended consequences.

And all of this without the complication of me being involved in the hobby at the time (early 1991). So I can only see your situation as being potentially much more damaging, depending on the jurisdiction and the depth of anger of your wife. Do what you can to protect the relationship with your children --even "part time Dad" is better than NO time Dad.

The house, the cars, etc. are all stuff that can be replaced -- it's truly difficult to replace your kids.

saw a provider when i was married.(30 yrs)
Now that i'm single,i don't have to worry about the situation you are in.
IMHO,you were wrong by cheating and now you have to face the consequences.
Not judging you man,just my opinion!
I hope your marriage stays together,good luck to you and your family.

with your children.  It depends what state indeed what county you live in, but you can hang on to your kids.  My first wife and I split in 1984,  I fought like hell and got my kids half time.  They now have great relationships with me and my two kids from my second marriage  and with their mother and her two kids from her second marriage and with both their step parents.

The first order of business is to try to save your marriage (in my case, we both wanted out..)  Hobbying and getting caught is not necessarily fatal to a marriage if you both handle it right.

I wish you the very best for your sake, your wife's, and your kids.  You sound like a really decent person.  She should not lose you.

This is indeed a nightmare & I sincerely wish you well.  Immediate couples counciling, by yourself if need be.   Get the very best...  this is not time to save pennies.   (I wasted valueable time & energy on a budget deal when my first marriage was crumbling...  I never hobbied until many years later.  A competant councilor was a great comfort even though the marriage was over, it was what she wanted and all her acting out bad behavior was a means to that end.  Since with no kids, it was an easy call.)
Yes, get legal council in the mean time...   You have some hard decisions to make & you better make them right.  After that it's up to her...

I do not at all want to appear smug.  I do not log onto ANYTHING adult if there is anyone else in the house.  I always SHUT DOWN the computer when done with setting that erases tracks automatically.  If someone comes in and wants to use my computer (other family members have their own), I accidentally shut it down...  OOops!!   I try to be redundant, etc.   Separate e-mail accounts, user names, passwords...  one can never be too careful.  Paranoia can be a good thing.  There is always the human error possibility.

I wish you well,
skb

need to get counseling ASAP.  As another poster stated, "better to be a part-time dad" than a no show.

Good luck to you.

....she can dig deeper to find more, & she will.
Time to turn off TER for now goof ball, yea, you are sloppy.

I hope things work out for you.

This week, I had TWO wives contacting me because they found out about their husbands 'other side'.

I was totally baffled. In all these years as a provider, I only had two cases of rabid wives after me (due to husbands lack of discretion).

Two in a week seemed a bit too much so I did dig deeper to find out HOW it happened.

There is a mail virus going on and I have been receiving tons of mails coming from LEGIT addresses of former clients, looking like this:

======

From: J****S****@***solutions.com
Sent: Mon 10/11/10 9:59 AM
To: b***m***@****.com; megatitties***@***.com; kittywet***@***.com; *****ofnyc@***.com; labella***@***.com; marlon****@***.com; ***operations@***.com; daniel.D***@***.com; ra***@***.com

Microsoft SmartScreen marked this message as junk and we'll delete it after ten days. Wait, it's safe! | I'm not sure, show content

http:/****.it/572_2.html

======

On the SENT, you can see a bunch of addresses, mixing HOBBY with PERSONAL and BUSINESS.

Well, that was how these two wives found their husbands contacts, because they received a similar mail coming from their hubby accounts listing all the addresses of the ladies they did contact in the past.

So, please open a hobby mail account and do NOT use for anything else but hobby.

If you have stored mails from ladies on you Mail Service Address Book (some programs saves addresses automatically, you need to change the settings), please DELETE the past mails inquiries or else you discussed with them.

I was bombarded by these two women who were going nuts trying to get me to admit that I met their husbands, actually guys I NEVER met but who did contact me in the past asking for information.

When a wife sniffs something, they will not let it go, they are like starving dogs with a bone!

Please clean your Mail Address Book ASAP!

Yes indeed. I have an email account i use for junk and jokes and it was compromised. I have a separate hobbying only account and yet another safe personal email account. Do not mix anything with Hobbying.

And be her sex slave for a while. Do what ever position and stuff she likes.

Yes you are judging and you have no fucking right.

Fuck you and the white fucking horse you think you rode in on.

Just what the fuck do you know about the OP's relationship with his wife?

Or can we expect to hear you chastising every married guy who hobbies from here on out?

FWIW I never cheated on my wife when married either, not even once,  but I certainly don't feel so morally superior that I feel justified kicking some poor guy when he's down, especially without knowing the facts. and I used to think Algina was the biggest douche bag around here.