So, like I said, a lot of providers, clients, and other people engage in Fucked-Up Thinking (FUT).  That sure as shit includes me, although I do less of it than I used to.

FUT happens when you have the same thoughts, usually out of habit, that you always have in particular situations.  The thoughts or beliefs, usually assumptions about yourself or the person you are interacting with, just seem to come into your head automatically.  You don't question whether the thought is accurate or not, you don't look at the real evidence for or against it, you just accept it at face value as accurate.

But FUT can really get in the way of your getting what you want out of life, because it screws up your relationships with other people, and holds you back in life.

Whether you are a provider or a client or someone else, I think the first step in stopping FUT from screwing up your life is to recognize it when you see it.  You might still feel at that point that the belief is correct, because you haven't yet done the work of examining the real evidence for and against it, but at least you can tell it is FUT, and that it is not helping you.

Here are some examples of FUT in action, just waiting to screw you up:

Overgeneralizing:  You see a wide-reaching pattern of negatives on the basis of a single incident.  For example: "This always happens to me, I always fuck things up".

Black or white thinking:  You view events or people in all-or-nothing terms.  For example:  "I get rejected by everyone sooner or later" or "It was a waste of time".

Bullied by "shoulds":  You are always seeing things in terms of what "should" be.  For example: "I've got to get him/her off.  If I don't, I'm a failure".

Personalizing:  You assign a disproportionate amount of the blame for bad outcomes to yourself and fail to see that events are often also caused by others too.  For example:  "My marriage ended because I failed".

Blaming:  You focus on the other person as the source of your negative feelings and you refuse to take responsibility for changing yourself.  For example:  "He's to blame for the way I feel now" or "My parents caused all my problems".

Remember, it's the thinking that's fucked-up, not the person doing the thinking.

Here's to getting what you want out of life, and fucking not FUTing.







-- Modified on 5/22/2010 7:25:52 PM

-- Modified on 5/22/2010 7:27:49 PM

Wow. You really got a lotta free time on your hands.
Time to think about all this stuff...time to decide to post...time to compose the post...time to edit the post....

Here's a crazy thought...
Instead of trying to re-create the Erotic Highway board...or actually presuming that your "deep thoughts" (Jack Handy style) will actually change the way anyone thinks....
try actually spending time with a 'provider' and spend some bucks to get your dick wet. Then...post a review about said time.

It's crazy, I know, but the site is called The Erotic Review for a reason.

Probably means some of the Pigletts will throw up all over it.

Don't you find it strange to take all the energy you did to tell someone else their post was not worth posting?

...Now, way past your bed time @ the 'Home' put your teeth away & go to asleep.

Since there's a well defined belief by some that "WK" = "I don't agree with someone but I can't figure out something intelligent to say in reply", I thought I'd start another short hand term:  "Pigglet" = "Guy who do brainless non-substantive dumps on others, especially but not exclusively providers because they want to feel extra macho at the time."

See, it is catching on already as you have seen the light and self annointed your alias.  It does seem to fit.  I think you made a good choice Piglett.

DD posts a very hypocritical post attacking the OP.

I politely point out that he, DD, is complaining about exactly what he himself is doing in that post.

So you, another alias-hiding coward, feel obliged to spew more dumb name calling without addressing any of the substance of the OP or mine.

Well done, you and your piglet clan are getting this down quite well.  I wonder how many piglets are actually here since most of them hide behind aliases, the electronic version of mommy's skirt.

...btw, your wig is so passe!

You aren't a person at all.  You're a Bot.  You randomly pick out a word in my post, use it in a non-sequitor sentence, and post it.

If you want to exchange in a conversation, which you don't seem to, point out where I ambeing hypocritical?

Dinner says you can't.