I'm actually a shrink-wrapped newbiw lol. I'm not into hobbying (at least not yet lol) but I have a couple of questions that I hope somebody here can help me with. I think a provider might not feel comfortable answering my questions so gentlemen please feel free to answer from your experience with providers? Would you say that most providers are doing it for the money only? What other benifits are there for them? Is/was it their only choice? Is/was it because of lack of qualifications (a degree, training... etc.)? Are they planning on stopping once things get better for them or are they looking to it as a career? Is it causing them any psychological harm (self-image or self-esteem problems)? I'm not judging and don't have the right to judge anybody. I'm just trying to find an answer for these questions
I'm doing it because I LOVE the SEX! I get a variety of choices. No I don't hold a degree, so this is just a VERY small part of it. The money is good, but I won't LIVE off it. I do hold a Full time job. I don't think I'm harmed mentally...wait...I SHOULD like sex right? or....should I hate it? idk...im SO CONFUSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol ~~just pullin yer leg darlin~~ I Do it because I ENJOY it! Not because I HAVE to. nuff said!
I do. I just have to make sure I have a good couple days to stay. Between my friends who want to see me, and you guys who want to see me...I'm gonna be a busy little beaver when i come to town!
But here's a little help. It depends. All of the items you list fit most circumstances, yet providing is a lot more complex for some and really easy for crack heads and other doped up fools trying to feed a vicious habit. For the vast majority of ladies who post and who are reviewed on these pages, I can give as many liberating stories I've heard over the years and those hooked on the fast money for the litany of reasons you list. That said, there is no novel in this... this is hard work for some and others toil for reasons mostly known to them. Without some real investment of time, this community will not open up to you. Newbie Voyeurs are typically not welcome. So draw a line down the middle of a blank sheet of paper and list as many as your brain will free-up and then go ask 100 people on the street and what you'll have is mainly perceptions that are not completely true, nor will they be completely false, but they will be completely SHALLOW (eom)
...but for the purposes of enjoying your time spent with these gals it's best not to over-think things. No matter how much they enjoy your company or what some of their ancillary motivations might be remember that they would not be in bed with you if there was not an envelope full of cash sitting a few feet away. Trust me, if you are with the right lady the last thing you will be thinking about during the session is the money.
Close to 100 percent of them get into it for the money. There is a small percentage who gets into it for the kink-- and to them part of the kink is getting money for being kinky.
A fairly large number of providers in it purely for the money are surprised to discover they love the sex, that it is far better than what they had as a civie. One famous lady said on the boards that ordinary sex was boring for her now. Once a pretty straight arrow, she walked further and further into the wild side. Now she wears mohawks and spiked-collars. (Recently, she retired-- and didn't cite the sex as the reason.)
Nevertheless, the business itself is high stress drudgery, physically and emotionally demanding, socially disdained and isolating-- and dangerous to boot. Even if a provider enjoys the sex and loves her regulars, don't imagine for a second that she would stay in the business if it weren't for the money.
Other first class providers with obvious talents have cited freedom as their main love of the business. They get to set their hours. Sometimes religion and spiritualism enter into it, some Wiccan and new age beliefs, but as with any religion there's a donation.
Then there are a few (at the escort level) who are in it because they truly can't do anything else. They don't do well as providers either.
That hardly covers everything. Just some examples.
Doing it for the money - no, but the money sure is nice.
Other benefits - swear to GOD, escort sex beats boyfriend sex a gazillion times over. Seriously. I don't know if guys think they have something to prove when they see an escort, or maybe they just want to get the most out of the experience because they are paying for it, but I swear to God, I can count on one hand the number of BF's I had who were nuts about DATY, but as an escort, those gentlemen who do not partake of DATY are very much the exception, not the rule (HALLELUIA!)
Is this my only choice/lack of qualifications - No. I have two college degrees. I could be doing something else that pay very well, but not nearly as well as escorting. However, this is the only job to date where orgasms are part of the benefits package. Can't beat that with a stick!
Am I planning on stopping - Not anytime soon!
Is it causing me any psychological harm - In a way I guess. Last summer I spent 2 weeks visiting my sister. I seriously had withdrawals. I just about tackled my first gentleman caller when I returned home. After a few weeks of rehabilitation though, he recovered
While it is true that a great many women who get into this career do so for all the wrong reasons - money, drug abuse, abuse issues, etc, the truth is that there are also alot of women who become escorts for other reasons as well. I am in fact an addict, but having been clean for over 14 years now and escorting for just short of 2 years, it certainly didn't play any part in my decision to become an escort. I have never been a victim of sexual abuse, and I am perfectly capable of working a "real" job. Trust me though, even as much as I enjoy escorting, this is also very much a real job too.
Welcome hon! Even though they have their opinions, or they might think they know the answers to your questions..they can only be honestly answered by the ladies themselves. Then you have to wonder if the lady is being honest? 50/50?
Honestly the main reason my girlfriends and I do this is the money, and freedom of choosingour own hours, the freedom and time that comes with this job to do other things. Be it go to school, spend more time with families(for those that have children) etc.
I got into this for the money...I went to school, I am smart..I grew up wonderfully I dont come from a "broken" home as many people tend to think providers do. I do this and I do other stuff, that is part of my other life.
I like what I do, I have fun. I am a people person, and have made some awesome friends in this business that I am grateful for. One day I will do something else. If for some reason I have a hard time getting there, luckily I have a strong, support group (Greek Family )that will help me, or help open doors if need be. Though, I have taken care of myself for soo long, and have gotten everything I wanted thus far. I always feel that things are attainable, and that things have a way of working themselves out. They always do
Also, these days the women that are in this business are normal women, Not drug addicted, women who will do whatever for the next fix. From watching years of tv or film, where escorts were dirty, trolling cokeheads, that had been abused and beaten along the way..people have gotten the wrong idea. Dont be so closeminded. Women in this business are everyday women juggling, family career(and this IS a business), and family. It may not be the mainstream profession, but it is a profession.
Sidney is correct in much of what she says - however, I would add the following note. While the women on TER or the women who participate in this as a hobby/business and are aware of who they are and are conscious of the profession... they are indeed different from the "streetwalker" of the past... but there is the rub.... the streetwalker and the ladies who are NOT in this as a choice but rather a last resort.... still currently exist.
This is one reason that TER and other sites like it are so very valuable... they make the hobby what it should be and not a sleezy exchange.
and by the way, Sidney is very sweet - and well worth meeting!
A couple of years ago I was dating wild and FREE in the Atl area.. I was out of work due to a work place injury and my main relationship had tanked.. It was the first times I had been with any other men other than ONE.. During this period I found OUT lots about myself and men in the dating scene.. I also found out that 'free' dating is very expensive and not 'free' at all..
So some of these men offered to cover gas, parking and travel expenses others didn't.. I found out rather quickly that the ones who offered compensation where the better of the whole lot, nice times, lots of attention, caring attitudes and good in the bed.. "free" players were just that 'players'.. Notorious for NC/NS, BS head games and the 'wham bham' attitude..
After a bad week with these 'free' types I got to thinking.. So then instead of seeing what was offered I started asking...
Why continue then?? Well I found I loved the variety.. Different men, different styles different feelings.. The connections became priceless.. Money and time aside.. I genuinely found I liked it.. The more I am into it the more I like it.. I found a 'nymphish' streak in myself.. Giving pleasure and receiving pleasure...
I have a BF but he only covers a part of my needs and desires.. So this for me extends coverage of that which I like and allows me more self expression and awareness of myself.. When I have 'slow' times I get a bit irritable, longing for the touch of a new exciting man or one of my regulars to electrify my senses...
As for me this was not my 'only choice'.. You will find that is the case with many top girls.. Many of us have degrees, other high level skill sets and other 'easy' ways to make a living.. Many find this a very pleasing alternative career.. It is just plain fun...
When you flip the coin - there is of course the other side.. Where the darker side of this biz looms.. Girls who feel they have 'nothing' or worse driven into it by 'others'..
Through the many reviews here at TER you can get a good idea to just how much a provider is into what she does... In most cases it is more than just a 'money' game.. It is about total pleasure for all involved and the wonderful feeling that comes with it...
One of the things I have noticed over the years is that many of the best providers enjoy being their own boss. If they were not working as a provider, they would be their own boss in another profession. They would not be working for someone else. They tried that and didn't like it.
For that group of providers, the freedom and independence of the profession is the benefit. It doesn't come without a lot of hard work, but the best aren't afraid of hard work.
Individual reasons for entering this profession will vary, as we are all different. Sure, money is an incentive, but to be able to have more independence, time, and ability to travel are some of the perks, IMO. While I may have a college degree *Philosophy and Starbucks don't pay the bills, honey* I thought that to put my communication skills to use, why not be self-employed? Aside from being a provider, I work as a pro-domme-Life is interesting; I meet people from all walks of life, all shadows of the galaxy, virtually, and am self-employed in my early 20's, with more time to focus on other creative projects. Not everyone will have such an answer to give, but this mine.
As for psychological harm-I avoided that, upon entering this bubble, by doing research, by talking to others involved, both hobbyists and providers, by getting my hands on all the reading material I could. Sure, there are moments when I have my doubts-in what profession won't you face that, though? Nothing's completely perfect, and when I feel a bout of exhaustion, I take some time to step back from the profession, don't go on the boards as much, etc.
That it is without a doubt 100% the Money. I don't do this for any other reason. It's not the sex and it's not the kink. It's because I get paid really well. I do not have better sex at my "job" than I do with my SO because ours is very much a give and take relationship. I get pampered as much as he does. Hmm, let me think of the last time one of my clients gave me a 90 minute full body massage and then DATY until I was totally satisfied and then held me till I drifted off to sleep....NEVER....
Although I am a good entertainer and my reviews show that, that is what I am, an entertainer, GFE, escort. I get paid to be your fantasy and that suits me just fine. We all have to be good at something right.
"I'm just trying to find an answer for these questions."
Appropriate questions, but what might be helpful to look at, if you haven't already is, from where in yourself do these questions arise? If you are intouch with this issue then sharing them along with your questions might get you closer to what you are seeking. From what you've said already, it sounds like you are at the edge of the hobbying pool and wondering if you should get your feet wet, jump in, or turn around and go back home. No one can answer that question for you.
Awhile back there was a list reprinted in a post, called something like "Top Forty Things I Love about Being a Whore." I reposted it in my blog because thought it was cute, and made a couple changes of my own, but then decided to write my own list. This pretty much answers your question- the income is one item, but there are nine others that have nothing to do with money- I see it as, every person needs to make a living and pick a career, but with that as a given, there are certain peope more suited for certain jobs than others, and varying pros and cons and motivations for entering any given profession. Providing has been the best job I've ever had thus far, but I am in college studying for a professional career as well. The financial independence is nice- it's also a strange, almost fetish-type thing- the sex is enjoyable of course, but the idea of getting hired, picked out, paid to come and provide those services to different men, is really hot to me. But while the money and the sex are the two obvious components and benefits of this profession/hobby, there is so much more to it than that..
1. I love the opportunity to interact with people from so many different cultural, personal, and geographic backgrounds. In this business, I am able to meet people whose paths would not otherwise cross with mine.
2. I love the appreciation I get from my clients. While some of my consensual civilian sexual partners (mainly teenage and 20-something boys, go figure) have seemed selfish and with a sense of entitlement, I find that the gentlemen I meet through this hobby have a genuine gratitude for my services and seem to have the utmost respect and tenderness for my body. When I receive kind words on the forums or thank-you emails following a particularly good session, it makes what I do feel even more rewarding and worthwhile.
3. I love the process of planning and getting ready for a date. Showering, applying lotion, doing my hair and make-up, picking out nice clothes and lingerie- I love getting all dolled up for someone, but it's also just as fun for myself. Taking good care of my body and paying attention to my appearance makes me feel beautiful and feminine- there's nothing better than feeling confident and prepared as you head out to meet a date.
4. I love being in charge of my own schedule. Sure, there are days when I check my email and groan upon seeing 37 new messages in my inbox, but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I have always been and will always be independently employed because I love both the business and the personal aspects- reading introductions from new clients, setting appointments with old friends, planning my own schedule and setting my own hours, being responsible for my own comfort and safety through screening... It's all part of the experience.
5. I love the close relationships I have with my regular clients. I have formed some great friendships with some wonderfully caring individuals. I look forward to appointments with my treasured "regulars," knowing that each time we are together we learn something new from one another and become more comfortable with one another, sexually and personally.
6. I love the sense of accountability and the close-knit bond of the online community that keeps everyone safe and informed. I spent several months reading, researching, and discussing the hobby before deciding to embark on my own professional journey. I love the fun online personalities and the informative dialogue that occurs through these forums, and the TER reviews help keep everyone accountable.
7. I love that I am able to manage my own finances responsibly and independently, and take care of myself without burdening others or going into debt. Through my (3 months so far) career I have been able to pay off some student debts and credit cards and purchase a decent used vehicle for myself. I have also been able to help a close friend who was struggling, and show my appreciation to my family for the ways they have helped me.
8. I have had opportunities to do things I would not have otherwise been able to do. I have done a few travel arrangements and spent a particularly memorable overnight at the Sybaris resort with a regular, which also included a wonderful threesome with Ms. Autumn Seasons of Milwaukee (more on that in my next post While current circumstances prevent me from touring at this time, with full-time classes starting soon and pets to care for, I do look forward to the opportunity to travel and tour down the road, perhaps the summer of 2008.
9. I love the sexual excitement and experience. I have always been quite fond of sex, but the hobby has taught me so much about my own body and the workings of the human sexual response. I have had a medium in which to express my sexuality regularly, and to feel completely comfortable in my own unique sexual identity. In addition, my work as a provider has enabled me to explore my bisexuality in a new setting, and to experiment with different techniques.
10. I love the fact that I have chosen my own destiny. I have always been one to seek new information and experiences and judge them for myself. I am happy to be a participant in the rebellion against the prosecution of victimless crime and freedom of sexual expression. I take pride in what I do and why I do it, knowing that I have thoroughly informed myself of the risks and benefits, and have contemplated my own motives and reasons for participating.
i'm one of those oddball providers who's in it for the "kink" (although i HATE that word), not the money, so-called freedom and independence, good sex, or anything else. i'm a submissive provider, who is also a lifestyle slave to my Husband of the past 5 yrs (and slave for 7). we have a unique way of life and some very unconventional values and beliefs. part of those beliefs is that as a female i should in some way be a servant to all men. which means my Husband has always sexually (as well as domestically, professionally and other areas, but y'all just care about the sex right? lol) shared me with others.
but having a mate who was an actual whore...that had been a longtime fantasy of his. the idea had always appealed to me as well, and so one day we just dipped our feet in and there ya go. i'm very low volume and selective, so the money is certainly not a driving factor. it's moreso simply being a tool for men's pleasure, of truly being of service to the deserving men out there who are neglected and unfulfilled. i love being their source of stress relief, allowing them to release all their tension and frustration. the fact that they always leave an envelope just makes me feel objectified...which makes it all the more erotic.
I think a provider might not feel comfortable answering my questions so gentlemen please feel free to answer from your experience with providers?
If a provider is not comfortable answering this, she / he should not be Doing It!!! I am sure that the hobbiest can imagine, but not completely answer for any provider.
Would you say that most providers are doing it for the money only?
Most...Absolutely Not! It is not an easy profession, and Most who are able to maintain their status have Many reasons aside from $.
What other benifits are there for them?
Independence!!! I am my own boss! I set my own hours! I set my own rate! I only do what I enjoy!
Freedom!!! To Travel to any city I choose to for work! Or, not to travel!
Experiences!!! I meet the most interesting and amazing people! And...We have Great Fun!!!
Is/was it their only choice?
Choice!!! That is the key word here! Yes, It is completely my Choice to be in this profession. I have a college education, and have worked in other careers. They were stressful and I felt trapped.
Is/was it because of lack of qualifications (a degree, training... etc.)?
Maybe if you are refering to the stereotypical SW that you will see on TV or the influx on CL.
To be a successful escort, you need to have many business skills; knowledge of the internet, marketing and advertising, website design, photography, customer service, time management (checking/returning messages, references, etc). That is just the beginning, because of course you also need to maintain your personal appearence and prepare for your appointments...
Are they planning on stopping once things get better for them or are they looking to it as a career?
Some do have a plan to retire at a set date (when they get married, after college, or after they put their children through college) That does not necessarily infer that they are "better" but more to the fact that they are "comfortable". Again, a choice that is different for each provider. I plan to retire when my phone stops ringing.
Is it causing them any psychological harm (self-image or self-esteem problems)?
Again, if you are refering to those who are on the street being forced and abused, that may be the case.
But here, Actually, this is quite the opposite of what most assume. We have a much higher self esteem, because we are independent. We take care of ourselves financially, physically, and emotionally. That raises your self esteem!
Everyone has an issue with their self-image, that is a societal thing. It really has nothing to do with your profession. Take a look at Celebrities, for example. They set a "society standard" for beauty and lifestyle, yet they are also in and out of rehabs.
Turns out to be less stress, much better for my ego, I get to do what I love the most and it is much more satisfying in almost every way and I get to make my own hours too.
You guys think we are rollin' in dough and yeah, some might be, but I am VERY Low volume, so what I make in a week is not much more (it varies) and sometimes LESS than what I made in a week as an administrative goddess. (yes, I get tax refunds!) lol
I am blessed to have met so many wonderful gentlemen and the small circle of "Sisters" I can be WHO I AM with and trust explicitly.
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lol.
