I recently had a session with a provider who offered a VIP/PSE session. Gladly paying for extra fee, my expectations of the session and what was offered were two entirely different things. What does one expect with this type session. Needless to say, I was a bit disappointed in my time spent with provider. Going forward I will clarify what is offered yet I realize some providers take offense to that too.

It means different things to different providers and clients. So it’s important to ask her what it means to her or what extras you get. It can be anything from a trick just to get you to pay more, uncovered full service, includes Greek, includes kink services and so on.

Many women would take serious offense to that question(s) and may ignore him or worse, blacklist him. Some ladies are open books after screening is complete, but many are not. It's a major risk and one that I would not take with a woman I have not met yet. Those questions are best asked to her reviewers, or her in person at the start of the session or possibly during pillow talk time.

Some girls it's Greek.  Others bare.  Some it's just more sex time.  Or rougher sex like in a porno.  Many girls it's just a upcharge for no value

I wouldn’t pay for the extra service unless it was clearly stated on their website what is offered with the upgrade or if it was with someone I’ve seen before and therefore knew what was offered bc we had discussed it previously in person. I have no expectations of what it could mean bc everybody is different.

pay the basic up front .... then once together ..  as things progress you can also decide if you even want the extras ... plus at that point they will be clearly outlined ...    

I love duos and I'm always open to new ladies who will indulge my fantasy. But it's the rare lady who--before we've ever met--will directly answer the question whether she will be physically intimate with another woman.  I've been fortunate that ladies I've seen have introduced me to other ladies they play with, but otherwise good luck finding that out (presuming no duo reviews).

If she doesn’t state in her ad or website what PSE includes, either don’t pay for it, risk disappointment, or ask. If I was so concerned it might mean no date, I just don’t pay for that service. But if I want that service, I’m not risking disappointment. I will flat out ask via email or text. If she decides to ghost me, oh well. There are other fish in the sea. I’m not so desperate to see one specific provider that I wouldn’t ask before shelling out extra beans. I understand the risk. I would rather lose out on seeing her than feel disappointed after dropping dime on her.

Buddy-I am a gawd damn hooker and I still don't know what any of these are supposed to mean. With me you get "regular" or dominatrix. Once you get here we sort out of the details.

In general I don't think PSE should be too confusing even when it's got a broad working definition depending on the community in question. But VIP is really poorly defined and used here. So how would be "What do you mean by VIP?"

djrunner,
  First of all, you gotta speak to the Provider and ask for the specific definition of all of her service. and do not assume that last minute dates are acceptable

To some guys/girls, PSE can mean anal and/or cim/swallow, to others it means facials and yet to others it may mean BBFS.
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 I have had some women tell me it isnt about any specific sex acts at all, per se, but more about louder, wilder, animalistic style of fucking with yelling, dirty and degrading talk during the act.
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There really isn't any established definition of these terms so they are meaningless to me, by themselves. But yes, I would agree, I think "VIP" is the most problematic in terms of a mutually agree upon definition. That is so vague as to not have any meaning whatsoever.

Maybe, maybe not. OP has 167 TER reviews over 20 years. So, if he books using his TER handle the provider might not be offended to have a straight conversation with him. With that history she should be pretty sure he's not a cop.  I can tell you that I've been here on TER for 15+ years with a similar amount of reviews and I've had no problem with asking experienced ladies pre-session questions, especially when I use TER DM to communicate with them.

Isnt that the point? She "might" not be offended. That leaves open the possibility she will be VERY offended. And what might she do then? No one knows.

The irony with your suggestion is that whether it makes sense depends on how pse is defined.  If he is looking for anal or bbfs, then it might be too late given that preparation in some form might be needed.

So what actually happened?  What were you expecting and what did she provide?

is to ask when you are booking if there are any services on her TER profile that are longer offered.  If there are things on her profile that she no longer does, then let her know that when you write the review, you will correct her profile, so there is no confusion among other customers who might see her expecting to receive all of the services listed in her profile, as you did.  

Or bitch you out. Those are likely the worst. I highly doubt anything worse than this will come from asking what her PSE services includes. Is there something specific you would be worried about beyond these?

I will upload review today. I researched PSE to be sure I understood the alphabet and lets just say there was ZERO PSE. It was basically laughed at. SMH

Understood. I find you quite attractive only wish you were near. Yet please in the future, “buddy” hate that label.

-- Modified on 8/26/2024 7:21:15 AM

I personally would avoid employing a tiered service provider.  Because I am not going to pay for the top end, and therefore I already know the session will be constrained and she'll be gate keeping which will be off putting.
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There are plenty of gals who give it their best shot every time.  

It’s a big no no to ask and considered a major etiquette breach by many many women. Many women even have this stated on their websites not to ask.  
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I can’t tell you what risk to take but for me it isn’t worth it. I either get the info from my research or I just pass her by. When I do ask it’s always in person after trust is built.

Lester got it right.....

That was an extremely polite response. lol  
You have been deleted from the buddy list. You will be "pal" or "friend" going forward.  

not going to be able to find some other provider the next day or next weak?

Who is telling you otherwise? But asking about sex acts in an illegal industry before meeting seems ridiculous to me. That is partially the reason TER was invented right? So you didn’t have to ask providers what they offered. Read reviews, look at profiles, pm the reviewers to get what you need.
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As far as BLs goes, some have more sway than others. Some girls view them seriously and some pay them no never mind. But look at the majority of responses just on this thread. Look at Scarlett’s response and CDLs. Two very different personalities I think you would agree. Lol.
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One is saying don’t ask until the meet up while the other is saying ask if her menu is accurate. But both are essentially saying don’t ask the girl straight up about what specific sex acts are included. Seems like common sense to me but you and Zeel are free to pursue this any way you like. But clearly the general consensus  and etiquette is to not ask. That is what the research here and other sites are for.

I'm sorry ROb but just where do I suggest anyone is telling me to do anything. I was pointing out that you're rationale for not asking doesn't make a lot of sense. Feel free to so as you wish and make whatever choices you do.

I've been threatened to be blacklisted for a bad review as well. And, maybe I was. However, I have been told many ladies don't fret over a guy blacklisted over a review. I would gather it's the same if it's about asking about services. I'm not letting these types of threats/risk take a hold over me. I don't live with that kind of fear. If an escort wants to lose her shit because I want to know what VIP or PSE means to her, oh well.

I personally would not BL someone for asking for specifics, but if I have not seen the person before I will tell them that because of the nature of our industry I do not discuss specifics to protect myself as well as you from any unnecessary issues. If they then say that is fine, can they discuss in person, sure, we can go ahead setting something up. If they get pushy and say they don't want to book without specific details I kindly let them know I don't think we will be a good fit and would be best to locate another provider. I can see how this would be very difficult for a client if the provider does in fact have the tier pricing for PSE, GFE, VIP, etc. and does not wish to discuss upfront the meaning. I as a provider have not clue the specific definition of this shit, I can only assume you guys don't know either!!

Never seeing any provider ever again??? I never even hinted at that. Fact is there is some women who will BL a client as it’s a major faux pas. Do I think the “crime” deserves the punishment? Of course not. But it can hamper a guy especially if he is in an area without a lot of providers.  
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Zeel is in LA I believe and I see mostly NYC girls so it’s not really us that could have issues. But if you are in Indy, or Cincy or Baltimore or any of a number of smaller towns,  BL or a “do not see”designation by that girl to her friends in that town can greatly reduce you’re already limited choices. I just have never felt the need to ask a girl what her services entail as I can almost always get that info quickly and easily without asking her.

And I’ll do me. But it’s not “crazy talk” to want to lessen risk in an already illegal activity. People assess risk by their own personality and life experiences. Many women have told me it freaks them out to be asked about sex acts before meeting. Even if I think the risk is low of a BL, I try not to upset women in general but especially if I want to see them but haven’t yet.

I've been put on a blacklist twice. Once was because I essentially quoted the girl's raunchy ad back to her, because I wanted to make sure she was going to do those activities. She said I was too explicit and then boom on the bl for being explicit. Second time was because i had inquired for a time without also sending references bc didn't want to waste time screening if I couldn't see her, but the girl wasn't available at my requested time and asked me for references, so I told her thanks for replying but couldn't see her. She blacklisted me for that with comment, wouldn't send references.  

I'm no longer sure which ones girls are using. But many guys are on one of them and don't even know it. And it has no effect on their seeing providers. I was on one for sure and it had no impact. Though by then I was mainly playing in Costa Rica.

I like it friend.

FWIW, I never ask when it's her regular service at a regular rate. It does help that I can pretty much figure this out with reviews or what's on her site. If I cannot figure it out, I likely choose not to see her. On a few occasions, I did TOFTT and I didn't ask. I would only ask if it was PSE or VIP because those can be so many different things.

Excellent AND funny. Friend.

but apparently limited your booking conversation to PSE.

Yep, that’s what I do.  When I first contact her to get screened I’ll just politely ask if she still offers everything on her TER profile.  I’ve never had any pushback on this and I think it’s the most reasonable way to find out ahead of time how my expectations will go.  

....Take the time for research and back channel communication and you'll be greatly rewarded with a more fulfilling experience.   There's about a dozen guys (and gals) in my part of the country that I communicate regularly and have also been around for years as well and it's awesome having the ability to not only draw on their experiences but to be able to give them a shout out for new opportunities or dangers ahead.

unfortunately for the OP, PSE and BBFS are not on TER's services list.  
It's also unlikely, IMHO, that back-channeling with a monger you have no contact history with would answer, particularly since she doesn't advertise this service and it's not mentioned in her prior reviews.

with limited reviews and little to trade in the way of information about providers.  Personally, I have only had a handful of guys fail to respond to PM's from me.  I always tell them that if they ever need info about girls I have seen, I will reciprocate.  With that said, I have a network of about 60 guys in my area (SoCal) who see two to four girls a month.  Many date from a prior review site that closed down in 2015 and have since moved to TER, so it's not all that hard to find SOMEONE who knows about a girl I'm thinking of seeing, but I agree with you that it can be YMMV when trying to get additional info from reviewers.

I will be sure to have better communication with provider for sure. This date was set up weeks in advance though. Tough lesson to learn though.

I recommend a slightly different wording.  Although very general, it should be obvious that "Is your Profile up to date?" is probably asking about Services and not about "Hair color."  
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Some might consider that asking about "services" or "offerings" is too explicit and might be worried about an LE trap (and decline to see you).  
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"Up to date?" is very innocent and general but she should understand what you are asking about.

Good point;  I’ll phrase it this way from now on.  Thx for a solid tip.  

VIP = GFE
Elite = PSE + BDSM Pleasure Mistress
Taboo Fun 🤩  

Wow. I had no idea that a client would even consider BBFS as an inclusion in a PSE experience.  
And I’ve been doing this a minute.  
Not saying I am denying that some are choosing to bypass protection but I am not aware of any “experience” that automatically includes this act.  

I've even heard guys suggest that GFE should include BBFS because, after all, you bareback your girlfriend in real life.

I go into each appointment with someone I've never met previously with zero expectations, or rather, minimum expectations. I take info in a woman's profile with a grain of salt and consider many things to be YMMV. If I am attracted to the way a lady looks and her personality I figure I'll have fun regardless and for me it's worth a try. Worst case is I won't see her again, but that has been a rare occurrence. I've only been disappointed a small handful of times in 7 years.