Providers,

Do you also get nervous whenever you are with a client for the first time? I know that I do. Its exciting, but it is also stressful. In all honesty, isn't the sex usually better the second time around if there is one, because you know the person better and there is a level of trust and comfort...

I imagine it would be the same for the hobbyists...

Reo you still get nervous...........yes!

I agree with you completely. I wrote something about this subject on the San Diego boards about 6mths ago. I had a client that I felt was very serious and quiet not much talking and I could not tell if he enjoyed himself much. However when we met again I figured he must be calling me because he like spending time with me and did infact have a great time. Our second meeting was amazing the chemistry was as if we had known eachother for years. I did learn that he is a very shy man who is not very talkative and yet he talked to me during the entire 2 hr second session.
I think your theory is correct.
Kisses & Licks.......
Mara

It's human nature to be nervous of the unknown. I still get really excited and nervous before meeting someone new. I try to alliviate it by having an initial phone call. It really helps in figuring out if your personalities "click", & you feel as if your meeting an old friend.

It takes a lot of time out my day. But it helps release some of those butterflies. So, to me it's worth it.

Lisa

i've gotten it down to a few hours, lol.  YES, always nervous the first time.  Second time is mucho better.  I couldn't figure out if I was sick, had food poisoning or what.  I took some antacid pills, I seem to remember, and found that eating bread seemed to help settle those "oh, I'm about to (juicy detail)" type nerves.

When I got the confirmation call back from the lady, she asked where I was.  "711," I replied.  "what?  why?" she asked.  "buying bread...."  oh.  LOL.

it's good to laugh.  Being nervous is ok, too.  It helps to remember that this is supposed to be FUN!  And that, yes, the person(s) you are with are probably nervous too.  Accept that glass of water, if offered!  Take a few breaths on the coutch, as needed!  And please, if you forget your name, ok, but don't forget the gift!

... you and your partner could cure many of the men who have fallen for providers and never moved on.  I for one HAVE to see the two of you someday...

someday...

Reo you still get nervous..

The second session is always better than the first one for me.  The key phrase you used is the level of trust and comfort.  That's why I like to see a provider on a regular basis.  It just gets better as we get to know each other more.

As far as getting nervous? Not any more.

The sex does get better because of the connection with another human being. But as you connect you become more vulnerable to developing feelings for a provider and visa versa.

How to have sex for fun and enjoyment without any emotional commitment? Seems hard to walk that thin line..

Reo you still get nervous..

A first date with ANYONE gives me the jiggles .... in the biz or Out....

Ooooh!  The Butterflies just swoop & divebomb!

Funny, just had this conversation for the third time with someone near and dear, and the timing was SO congruous that I HAD to call him and ask if he had posted on this thread under another alias!  Heheheheh.  He probably will now, lol.

Xoxo
FiFi



-- Modified on 1/7/2003 9:10:41 PM

I get past that on many occasions by meeting the lady for lunch prior to "dessert" (of course it's on me and her time is compensated, if necessary).  By sitting and talking and getting to know one another, the second part of the afternoon, or evening, becomes quite a bit less nerve wracking.  And the sex is better that way.  

But in general I do find things more comfortable the second time around.

Yes I agree, it is tough to walk that thin line.  It can be tough because the providers I have seen regularly, I enjoy their company so much.

I do not really get anxious any more but I always schedule a 2-hour session and I like to spend the first 20-30 minutes just talking so that we can both get comfortable. Then a lot depends on the provider, sometimes you just click right away and it seems you've known each others for years.

Walking the fine line is tough. I know there are some girls that I try not to see too often on purpose, because it would be too easy to cross the line. Seing them week after week would make it too hard to resist.

only when they really shy or quiet.. most times they are not.
Some meet in public places and others.. well they get right down to the point.

Shaye

I agree with Lisa -- always nervous, but chatting on the phone begins to develop a rapport for me.  I also find longer appointments critical -- at least two hours, and dinner dates are even better for developing a mental connection, which leads to a much better "dessert" for both of us.  After all, the mind is the most important erotic organ!

I saw Lisa once, and was very nervous.  First time experiences with providers have usually been tense for me.  Lisa did her best.  But I left feeling the chemistry just wasn't there.  Sometime later I contacted her and discussed my feelings.  I was surprised to find that she gets nervous too!  I had forgotten a key thing:  providers are people, with the same feelings and emotions we have.  
An important lesson, and something I try to remember.

Reo you still get nervous..

I don't think I ever did get nervous, not in this business. I don't know why exactly, but that's the way it's been.  Ask me about the first time I modeled for an art class or gave a reading and it'd be a different story, so maybe I wore away all my nervousness before I ever got to this.

I'd have to say I prefer to have a mix of both - the excitement of seeing new people and the fun of expanding my repertoire with regular clients.  Variety is what I like best!

-Anya

Reo you still get nervous..

I always begin a bit jittery even if it is a provider i've seen before. It feels like the first time but after 10 mins, I relax and it becomes comfortable.

Reo you still get nervous..

I read an interview with Eric Clapton where he said that he gets nervous every single time he's about to go on stage. It's never left him. He wondered if it would mean he'd lost his "edge" if had beome nonchalant about so important an endeavor. Any similarities??

Totally agree with Abby. As much as we would like to think with our appendages, the truth is that sex starts and ends with the mind. Ironically it took participating in this to come full circle to understand it.

Reo you still get nervous..

Nervous:  NO

Excited:  YES!

I look at a new meeting with a new provider as an adventure with a good outcome (pun possibly intended - LOL).  I try to have fun, and not let the little stuff bother me.

I've had far too many real nerve wracking experiences in my life to let something as enjoyable as this hobby make me nervous.

It depends on the person. If your acting very strangely, or rehearsed... chances are super good that your gonna freak someone out (me. lol)

I felt really badly about our mutual "weirdness". It was really unfortunate. Hopefully you have found someone who clicks w/you.

One of my scariest experiences was with someone who was totally paranoid... long story short... he's now one of my favorite people to spend time with. Go figure!

Have a wonderful weekend,

Lisa

I don't think anyone was "freaked" out.  I always tell myself you can't get to the second appointment (hopefully) until you see a lady the first time.
I've met many nice women, and I have some favorites.  Lisa, I consider you to be as thoughtful and real as anyone I know.
I hope we cross paths again.

tennislover

"overcome your shyness in two easy sessions with Mara!"

As someone who is very shy around women, I agree that the second meeting is almost always much better than the first.  Before meeting a provider for the first time, I always experience a very unpleasant adrenaline rush and butterflys in my stomach so bad that I have to force myself to eat that day.  As a result the first session is often exciting but these nervous symptoms make it impossible for me to fully enjoy the experience.  I'm not sure if I'm the fellow in Mara's example, but I can certainly say that my second meeting with her was incredible…an unforgettable, once-in-a-lifetime experience for me.  I believe she must have the ability to make anyone feel completely comfortable around her.  At least from my perspective it felt like there was some genuine chemistry between us that day.