It's first time jitters, but the good news is that it gets better successive times, so don't be discouraged.

You might want to post on the Erotic Highway Board and ask the Love Goodess for any things you can do to prepare yourself for next time.

So after being a spectator for a very long time on this site I finally took the plunge but it didnt really turnout the way I anticipated.  There was nothing wrong with the provider she was great in fact but I for some reason could not get it up at all.

Bless her heart she tried her very best and yes she was very attractive but again I could not really get into it.  I am not sure if it was my nerves or what but it was uncomfortable after awhile.

She did get me kinda hard and jumped on and I let loose right away because of all the play and because I was trying so hard to get up and release.  I paid for an hour but the experience was only 30 mins or so.  I basically got up and apologized, left a tip and left embarrassed as heck.

Is it just me?  Anyone else have an experience like mine their first time hobbying?

I will try again, and am looking forward to it.  Hopefully this was a one time thing....

Make sure it's outcall & have a drink or 2, or a joint, to steady the nerves before the provider arrives. Works wonders.

I say outcall, because incall involves drinking & driving & you DON'T wanna do that.

If so, skip it, "save it up" & see your provider tomorrow .

Movie mogul and profligate romancer of actresses and wannabe actresses Roger Vadim said that the only time he had a performance problem (prematurity) was the first time he was with Jane Fonda. He said it was because he was in love with her, not just having sex with her, and he knew it was different.

I've had that problem, too, but not with Jane Fonda.

I think you're completely right...it was just nerves.  Almost always, my first time with a woman -- and I mean any woman, including the first time my wife and I had sex -- I can't come at all.  Usually it's only the first time.  Lucky me, I'm about to test this theory tomorrow as I renew my hobbying adventures after a long break.  I'll let you know how it goes.  She's a really hot, young, extremely well-reviewed provider and I won't be surprised if even she can't get me off.  We'll see...but it won't keep me from venturing out there again, so hobby on, dude!  At least you came once!

I had a similar experience the first time out...  and the second with a delightful FBSM gal.  Said FBSM allows "extras" but while I enjoyed the activities, I failed to complete.  She just said...  I finish what we start...  and took matters into her hands.  She has never failed to do so as needed which is one reason she remains a Fav.  
If ANY Woman wanted to improve her sexal relationship, it would be to adopt this attitude.  Freed from concern that I'd be able to have mine, leasves me freer to please my partner of the moment.
j

Don't make too much out of it...but I would agree that it is likely due to nerves.  If there is any way that you can relax a bit when you first meet her (short massage, lots of breathing, etc.) you will find that things will go much better.

We all have had them I am sure. I know I did. All the worst case outcomes were racing through my mind as I was waiting for her to arrive. What if she doesn't like me, what if she is a scammer, what if Mr. Happy doesn't want to play, what if she is LEO, etc. etc. etc. She arrived, noticed right away I was uneasy and set about helping me to calm down. I chose this over 40 lady thinking her experience would help me grow in the hobby.

Mr. Happy needed much convincing it was ok to come out to play, but she resolved that also. I am sure she considered all this an investment for future sessions. She was right. Saw her a couple times a month until she moved North, never to be heard of again. She even encourged me to see others as each, as I quickly found out, is special in her own way.

Welcome to the HOBBY!

About the first 10 or so ladies I ever saw I had problems keeping it up too. Part of it was nerves and I'd say the other part of it was having to deal with condoms after 12 years of marriage and not using them. But I know how you feel.

First, I tried to go without sex or masturbation for a week before seeing a provider to build up. Sometimes it worked other times it didn't. What I finally found that worked was using some male enhancement products, like Red Rooster or Nite Rider to get my blood flowing. I guess Viagra would work too. This has also increased my overall energy now as well.

Related question for the group.  At the moment I'm so freakin' horny thinking about the gal I'm seeing tomorrow that I'm considering a trip downtown to someplace like Jerry's (if they'll let a first-timer in, but I guess a phone call will tell me about that).  On the other hand, maybe I should save it up if I'm afraid of not coming the first time (as I mentioned in my post above).  I guess everyone's different so maybe there's no advice anyone can give me on this, but if you have any thoughts, please share them.

Viagra buddy. Alot of nerves and fear and mental crap stirs up in the mind when visiting a provider. For me it is currently the thought of getting a non-curable StD because her juices went into my eye or something.

Go to a canada pharmacy and buy some generic viagra and cialis. Take one every time you visit a provider until you get relaxed enough to pump on your own.

My first times with providers were long ago and not classy experiences like we share on TER.   It was the '70s and I had just moved someplace where 'massage parlors' were rife just outside city limits.  They were obviously more than massage parlors but I had no clue how things worked etc.   Plus the fact that it was illegal.  Bottom line I was scared to death but wanted a BJ BAD.  The first couple times I went I was a bundle of nerves.  The first time I didn't even know to have enough 'tip' to get the job done - there was no one to talk to and find out how things worked, after all.  The next couple of times, no problem with the erection but, try as they might, I couldn't cum.  The bad news was I didn't get off... the GOOD news was that I got a LONG session of head!
Eventually I was able to relax and really start enjoying the experiences.  
So shall you, my friend
MVR

The full name is Jerry's Office Cherries and, from what I've read on TER, it's a classic in-call place with multiple girls at all times.  Just like in my bad old days.  You can call ahead and reserve someone, or call from the immediate area (I think they have two locations in Manhattan) and take pot luck.  Costs about $350/hour and the girls on the site look good.  They also have a good rep with lots of TER reviewers.  Used to be called The Office, I'm told.  Here's a link to their models gallery.

The reviews I've read indicate it's high value for the $$$.
PS: I think I've decided to "save it up" for tomorrow.  The gal I'm seeing is supposed to be well worth it. But it's hard to go out in public with the raging boner I'm packin'.

-- Modified on 11/17/2010 10:50:38 AM

Decided to dive in headfirst - booked a double with 2 well-reviewed providers - never even got my pants off. Don't worry about it.

Happens to me sometimes. Usually with first time hobbyists and other times with a new client who doesnt hobby that much.

I think its a nerve thing. Because all will be going well during the foreplay, but as soon as the jimmy hat goes on he gets a little limp.

I mean, I 've had guys get so excited with me they cum off of my hot bbbj's

It's totally normal. I bet if you were to go and see the same girl again, you'd be way more comfortable and at ease. If your going to stay for the hour anyway, don't rush things just take it slow so they just flow.

play can be mind boggling.  Oral also solves the problem of the limp dick with a hat on.

had a truly awesome time with a provider this last time in Vegas. Not that the others weren't total vixens and hot and whatnot, but this time I was ready and it was da bomb. Unlike the last few encounters I wasn't worried about performance or how I looked or what shape I was in (I'm in pretty fucking good shape, dammit! ), all I could think of was "w00t! I'm fucking a 24 year old super model!"..... That's how you need to think.