I'm a Newbie, in the hobby about 6 months and have seen several providers.. I'm afraid that I am having Romantic feelings for one provder in particular..Has anyone out there ever felt the same or actually fell in love with an ATF? Or am I just a fool? When we are together, she seems genuine & sincere with me.. Is it always "just a game or fantasy"

a Fantasy...it feels Sincere and Genuine...from the moment You step threw the door...until You leave...You are "MY MAN" and I truly Enjoy giving My Man sooo much Pleasure and Passion...Not to say I don't Enjoy it too...lol...however could it happen...I am sure it does...but just remember...tomorrow or later on...I do have a New Man

At 6 mos in assume it is NOT.  She might well like you as a friend.  That happens a lot.  Not the same thing and don't push it.  Don't consider yourself a fool either, you're only about the 100,000th it's happened to this year.

If you'd been at it 10 years I might say something different.  A toddler playing with the same match as a seasoned woodsman doesn't face the same risks.

But do not take me word for it. Read what all the other mongers are going to tell you this morning and I will leave it at that.

has anyone ever fallen in love with their ATF?
Yep, happens all the time.
Is it requited?
Happens decidedly less of the time.
Does it work out and they ride off into the sunset together?
Happens almost none of the time.


Here is what you need to ask yourself...

- Are you unencumbered to the extent that you can offer her a romantic love relationship?
Not a mistress-ship, not a fuck buddy-ship, but a relationship.  (if you are married, have a girlfriend, or just want something casual the answer to that is "no" by the way)

- Would you be OK with dating a woman in this business, because you should assume that if you start dating she will stay in this business, giving up her job and negatively effecting her earnings and ability to live in the manner she is accustomed to, is a bit much to ask for dating.
That and if you would help with finances so she didn't have to work, you wouldn't be her boyfriend, you would be her exclusive client or at best her sugar daddy.

- What is the impetus for said romantic feelings?
If it is (to put it bluntly) that she fucks like a minx and sucks your dick real good, that isn't love that's after-glow.

If it is because she doesn't act like other women, that's because she is being paid not to act like other women, when she is off the clock she does the same stuff other women do, since she is a woman.

If it because the sessions are all about you, and she is really interested in everything you say, and she really seems to enjoy her time with you, that is because she is paid to make it all about you, and to be interested, and to enjoy the time (well seem like she does at least).

If it is that the sex seems sincere, and that while having sex you have a "connection" then she is really good at her job.

If it is because you actually know quite a bit a about her as a person that you see as an equal (no thoughts of saving her from this life or the like) and really like the actual person not the persona (if she has been pretty much the same since first you met her, chances are you only know the persona and not the person) then maybe what you feel has some basis in actual affection.

If on the other hand all you know of her is in the sessions, she doesn't talk about herself or her life and the only real contact is setting up appointments and then the actual appointment time...you are having concupiscent feelings, not romantic ones.


If you honestly answer those questions to yourself, then you have a jumping off place as far as your feelings go.  If you decide for whatever reason you can't offer her a real relationship, or that you can't date a woman in this business, or that it isn't genuine affection for her that is the root of your feelings then my advice is don't see her again.

Actually, that is my advice anyway...
because if you were certain of any of those things you wouldn't be here asking if you are a fool, you would be off writing bad poetry and pledging your undying love...
since you are here asking you already are questioning what you feel, you are already questioning if she could or would feel anything for you (that could actually be the biggest deal breaker right there even if she did feel the same for you)...

Don't see her again.
You know you are "falling" for her, you can either turn around and drag your ass back up onto the cliff's ledge, or you can jump down...smarter not to jump unless you are pretty sure of where and how you will land.

I have no idea how much you've civie dated; but I have civie dated a lot. I know what girls act like when they are really into you.

Is this lady acting like that?

Likely not.

So answer is: this is just your biology talking. It can lead to problems.

Solution: stop seeing her or interacting with her. Take two aspirin and call back in a couple of months.

You've been in the hobby for six months?

Sorry; i question your motive for beginning altogether.

I wish it could be stickied for others since this is a fairly common topic on the boards.

x

I think this hobby should come with a warning label or something!  What is it?  Is this the lonely hearts club???

Yes, you are just a fool! However some ladies are much better at playing fools than others.  Meaning the others may sense you feelings, and keep it very professional.  The occasional Barracuda can smell blood and turn the act up a click! Keeps you coming back for more and more.

Take up gardening or something. This is much less likely to happen with a turnip!

Very well said. Yes it can and does happen. Just a few comments from one who has been there done that: 1) if you proceed, go in with your eyes open and make sure hers are too, 2) keep the lines of communication open between the two of you, and 3)do not expect or try to change her profession (just as she must not try to change your hobbying proclivities).

I cannot speak for all providers, however, I will say that when a gentleman enters my place, I do everything I can to make him feel special. However, that being said, even in this "business" that is a two way street. I have had the pleasure of meeting some wonderful, respectful and "talented" men. If, even for that hour or two, I am enjoying EVERYTHING with and about you and our time. But yes, when you leave, it is over. Call it our ONE hour of love...lol. Isn't THAT what most hobbiest are seeking? I am NOT an actress, I TRULY enjoy what I do, but I am not looking to fall in love, and there have been a few times, when I felt a client was getting too "emotionally" involved, I have to end it...regardless of the financial reward...Thats just the right thing to do.

be careful

Dude, it is up to you and her man. If you can't handle it in the long run, you will up shit creek without the proverbial paddle.

well I've had more than a few men propose I've stop this because I was too pretty to see so many people and should have one guy taking care of me, I've had guys actually have the balls to try to coerce me to dating them and no longer paying for just the sex and etc. Had a few married men whether it was the truth or not say I made them wish they'd never gotten married, etc....I usually ignore that stuff especially right after they've popped their top once or twice lol.

If you start something up with her, trust your instincts. If things start to seem a little odd or you don't think she's being truthful with you, run for the hills!

Great response, well said.

To answer your questions, in order
Yes and yes (and it was reciprocal). Maybe. No.
Unless you are willing to support her or find her a similar paying job, how are you going to handle love with someone who keeps the company (wink) of anywhere from 2 to ? Men per day or week. You know what you did with her, now think about her doing that with x+1 men a day.  Nice thoughts,huh?  Doubtful it will work but think it through. Broken hearts suck regardless but my view is adding this business in adds a whole new range of despair and sadness. My advice is if you want love hit the singles pages.

However, some people have a great capacity for plural love. She could love you .. and then some.

I love my SO, but I love my providers too

In the same manner, she could love and care for you genuinely, but she can also care for others. It's reality, you can have feelings or love 2 people at the same time.

Assume it is not. Before you even pursue something like this (and I suggest not), ask yourself:

Can you handle it knowing what she does for a living?

Can you handle her being away on an extended date with another guy and having almost no communication from her during those times?

Can you handle an evening with you being cancelled in favor of a long dinner date or an overnight or multi-day date?

Can you handle knowing that  she will not only be with other gents but enjoying the time as well?

Happened to me very early on and turned into an extraordinary relationhip. One of the most important relationships of my adult life.

Not all important relationships are going to last, though. Even if a close, caring relationship blossoms, be prepared for an ending that may be extremely difficult.

ohhhh it happens. I was deeply and I mean deeply in love as she told me she was. We had about a 2 year "thing". I still think of her every day. I have never had my heart broken like that before. I was the one that left her. But as I said I still love her!!