I'm showering at my gym tonight, after a tough hour of lifting weights and then an hour spin class. Sometimes, when the endorphin high hits, my mind starts to wander.  
So, I'm showering and my mind goes to the three amazing ladies that I've had the pleasure of playing with  within the last week and one that I'll be seeing in the not so distant future. Of course I get a hard on . I tried waiting it out. Dried off but unfortunately it wouldn't go down.

...in which you spent 3, full paragraphs telling us all about your stiffy and your need/want/desire to talk to strange men in the locker about "it?"

is to play it off like you did.  I had a hot spinner sitting RCG on my face, and then she leaned over a little to give me better access to her clit and then pressed down with both hands on my stomach and pushed all of the gas noisily out of my ass.  I immediately said, "did you have to do that right in my face?"  She said, "It wasn't me?"  I said, "It wasn't me."  We both started laughing and had to start over.  As with your example, the embarrassment quickly passes if you play it off in a humorous way.  

I am sure you most of you guys have heard that some women can have an "O" while they are working out. This happens often to me. When it first happened it was quite a shock and I restrained myself the best I could since the gym was packed. There were a couple people a few feet away from where I was. The first time was embarrassing but now I welcome it. I've gotten a good amount of practice keeping my game face on.

I no longer spontaneously grow one in the shower, but back when I had that "problem" (that's a problem I'd like to come back!), I just put on a disguise: a towel.  I don't know about you, but I can tilt my stiffy UP to my belly button (not quite to my chin) and wrap a towel around my midsection and my turgid self is longer visible to my mates in the locker room.  
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Maxwell taught Eustis about other things that tilt up.

You've peaked my inner perv.  What activity are you doing when you O at the gym?
I'd like to know for my theater of my mind.

... Was washing my hands when a young smoking hot Asian gal walked in. She smiled as she to came over to the sink to wash her hands too. I kept looking at her in the mirror and noticed that my nipples were super hard and very noticeable thru my sheer blouse. I felt myself turn all shades of red and quickly dried my hands and got the hell out of there. I know she had to notice too since I caught her checking me out in the mirror too. I regret that I didn't stay and hit on her, lol.

violate her after 5, that is?  

Where do you work? US Congress? 'Bama Courthouse? It sounds like are qualified for those jobs!  
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DId you ask if you could sign her yearbook pic?

I fart a lot..

I took a quiff in the face once.

but in most cases, peeing on your hands would make them more sanitary after touching your junk.

Only once?

That is, air trapped in the vagina that is released during sex.

He's pretty consistent that way.

Quiff = Queef = Pussyfart. And yes, it only happened once with a tiny Latina and it was like getting blasted in the face with air blow gun.

..... with a good finger fucking. It was always a great pleasure to get a minute or two of powerful on and off queef on my cock as we started to fuck. Another type of  blow job.