I have a newer weekly client who just relocated to my area. After seeing him a few times, he’s told me that his main motivation for seeing me is to improve his dating life. I’ve heard versions of this before but his particular reason is worth sharing...and it makes me wonder what some of the most unique reasons are that you guys and gals here have given or heard for indulging in our fine hobby. (Besides just pure enjoyment and fun.)

My client went on to explain that by releasing his pent-up sexual energy with me, he can focus during his dates on really getting to know them without his crazy sexual energy distracting him. I have to hand it to him, he really wants to get to know someone for who they are first. So sweet.

I told him that while this is a first, I’m more than happy to oblige. And I get a front-row seat to hearing all about his first-date escapades sans sex.

It’s a win-win for both of us, really.

Ability to focus in various life domains is definitely a benefit of using this as an outlet for release.  

Extending this beyond performing better on dates...this is great for busy high performance professionals, it brings clarity to mind, and the zeal for achievement.

I think he stole that from the movie Something About Mary where the guy is advised to jack off just before a date so he won't be driven to ackwardness by sexual urges.

I never had sex with a civilian, I was tired of being a virgin and wanted to see how good I can please a women if I was to ever have sex with them because I assumed I was a 5 min fuck kinda guy, i was nervous but when I started talking to her it all went away I lied to her saying iv done it before but was still new to the hobby lol, porn really set me up for success haha. Surprisingly I lasted the whole session and I was mad
Because I was soo looking forward to cum by intercourse or bj, i started the session by pleasuring her, kissing her legs, neck, tits, and even ate that pussy up real good she was like wow your pretty good at satisfying a girl and little did she know I never had sex lol overral I do it now to get my sexual satisfaction after I was told to enjoy myself instead of trying to please her by an escort I was seeing, Mia L’amour if you see this thank you!!

Love.

and that would be NSA sex with women 20-30 years younger than myself.

 
Over the years I have certainly found a few who's company I enjoyed so much that my return visits were as much about "a connection" as the sex, but that's maybe 1 out of 20.

......... because I'm not really wanting a relationship where living together is part of the deal. The sex with the ladies I play with is always exceptional and as often as I want to afford it. I also get the variation that I really enjoy and I've made some pretty cool friends and gotten involved in some amazing love interests.

But, funny you bring this up. I had a civie platonic date, with a woman that I used to be in a very wild sexual relationship.
I had a p4p date with  one of my regular ladies, right before the civie date. It was an awesome sexual time and it satiated my desires.  
Having done that, it took the strong desires to fuck off the table, for a while, and I was a fully present and a happy friend that my friend needed that day.

Could I have been appropriate without having the session before hand. Of course! But, I don't see a downside to playing it this way.

Please remember there are all kinds of misfits in this world who confuse GFE with real love.

...that it reduces the "sexual background noise" to a point where a guy might be able to be less focused on sex with a potential civvie partner and get to know her a bit better. Knowing that I have p4p options reduces the up-front need to have a sexual component to a civvie date.  

That's especially true if I consider that there is a vanishingly small chance that I would find a compatible civvie woman who would be into the kind of sexual adventures that I can have in p4p. In 45+ years of dating/relationships and marriage, I have yet to find a woman who would be into 3somes, multi-party play, greek and playing with tgirls.

I suppose the unicorn is out there but SO much simpler to find such a playmate (or multiple playmates) in the p4p world.

This translates into . . . . . he has no game with civvie girls, doesn't know how to seduce them, and is laying this BS on you to reduce the bruising to his ego for his ineptitude with women.  I can't believe a provider with your experience wouldn't see through this.  

-- Modified on 3/11/2018 9:57:47 PM

We just had a discussion on General: "Can you love both your wife and hooker?"
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They are ...

You sure he's not focusing his efforts on you?

 I would assume that there has to be a bit of sexual energy from a guy to date a girl in a traditional dating scenario. Not necessarily having sex on the first date. (although what guy is going to say No to that) I think that's part of the charm in dating. What he said to you does sound sweet. But then again a guy will tell a girl what she wants to hear to have sex with her.  

I just want to cum in your throat.

with heels and nothing on underneath gives off a slutty sexy scientist vibe that should help with your trials and admission.

END OF MESSAGE

Damn, you are right again. I don't know about the guy in the OP.  
But, I've got no game. I don't know how to seduce or close the deal with a civie.

Thank goodness for p4p.

you've been married a few times, so you DO know how to seduce women and close the deal.  Its just that sometimes,   the deal you closed was not a GOOD deal.  Lol

There are a LOT of "hobbyists" that have no game with civvies. I've been to enough M&G's to bet that "MOST" so called hobbyists do it out of necessity, not out of convenience, but why further bruise the ego of a guy who obviously already knows he has no game.

 

For the record, virtually all of us have gone through dry spells, unfortunately for some guys their "dry spell" lasts a lifetime, I don't see him as "laying on this BS" I see a guy struggling and looking for solutions.

 

Full disclosure here, when I say "all of us"  I include myself, I even remember one time doing something very similar to what the OP is doing. I was in my early twenties and I was going through one of those "dry spells" which of course as a hormone fueled youngster I think my dry spell was about two weeks. lol AAR I had scored a date with a real hottie after having no sex for a good two weeks, I knew that if I didn't get laid before the date all I'd be able to think of during the entire date would be ripping her clothes off, and even at that young age I knew that "desperation" was the surest way to blow it with a woman so I found a hooker a couple of hours before my date to "take the edge" off and I ended up keeping my cool during my civvie date and scoring with the civvie that night too. I am convinced to this day that if I didn't get laid "before" the date, I would have reeked of "desperation" and it might have taken me forever to break my slump with civvies.

 

Lastly, who cares if he is simply trying to assauge his bruised ego?  We all see hookers for different reasons, if some guys see hookers because they have no game, we should be happy for them that they have found a way to have some kind of sex life.

I hear what you’re saying. Because I am discreet, I am excluding some details that confirm for me that he’s not yanking my chain. Plus, end of day, even though the ‘why’ does fascinate me, as long as I end the visit with my donation in hand, I’m okay with whatever story someone feeds me.

Okay, I'm happy for him.  Meh.

 
I knew a girl once that had a "dry spell."  I suggested more lube.  

END OF MESSAGE

We wouldn't be in this if we had any so called "Game" with women. Most guys in this are either in a sexless lousy marriage or single and have bad luck meeting women. Very few guys can probably say they have "Game" with women. The other 99 percent are liars.

I used to follow the forums for pick up artists.  These guys could score women -- but they really had to put in the hours.  First you have to have brass balls to take all the rejections.  Secondly they would often have to pursue the chicks over multiple dates.  It's true they got a public pickup once in a blue moon and could get fucked in a public toilet.  But that was extremely rare.

Unless you are a serious winner in the DNA lottery, scoring women with natural game is a lot of work.  They do it because it is a major ego stroke.  But if you have 300+ bucks, all the work disappears.

has nothing to do with whether you see hookers or not.  There are two kinds of "players", those that PREFER to pay, anD those that HAVE to pay.  When you reach a certain age where you eschew the collateral drama and the time investment required to seduce and bed civvie girls, you can have all the game in the world and still PREFER to pay.  You get the girl you want, on your own schedule, and you don't have to buy them dinner or call them the next day.  The OP's example was a guy using P4P to "improve his dating life."  That translates to having no game with civvie women.  I have plenty of "game" but I don't want a "dating life."  At this stage of my life, its an unnecessary time-suck.

From childhood and well into adulthood I suffered from social phobias that pretty much ruled out me having relationships of any kind with women, particularly ones I was attracted to.  I suspect the cause lies in my having grown up in a loveless household where destroying any trace of self-esteem in the children seemed to be the norm, but I’m just not sure.  I did go to a couple of psychologists while in college and that was a waste of time.  I was asked if I was gay (absolutely not, I was thrilled by everything female) or molested (don’t think there was ever an opportunity for that to happen).  It was a terrible thing to be strongly attracted to girls (that part was normal) and afraid of them to point of panicking when in their presence (definitely dysfunctional).

It further didn’t help that I went to an all-boys boarding high school and basically did not even speak to a girl for three years before college.  In college I did have a circle of friends that pursued the normal girl chasing of that age and I was mostly fine with their girlfriends and in group activities, but even the thought of being alone one on one would put me in a tongue tied panic.  I was deeply ashamed about this and was mostly successful in hiding it from even my closest friends.  Friendships were frequently short lived anyway, as I had poor social skills all around.  I gradually learned that people don’t take well to being criticized all the time for what they do, say, or believe.  Basic social skills that people take for granted, I quite simply lacked and would get uptight if they were pointed out.  I had a lot of issues, but the one of over-riding importance to me at the time was my fear of women.

I was fairly good looking when young and had several clear opportunities for sexual encounters early in college by older women who took the initiative, but I rebuffed them.  As far as girls my age, on occasions when I sensed interest, I managed to avoid them, even to the point of being rude.  I recall one instance where I overheard a memorably good looking girl who had approached me in a bar and that had gotten the cold shoulder ask a friend “what’s wrong with that guy?”  I have a lot of painful memories of lost opportunities and behavior that I just can’t explain to myself, even now, 30 years later.

I’m not sure of my motivation for wanting to jump into the “hobby” (I haven’t scheduled my first date yet, but things are lining up).  I’m feeling older now and time is probably running short in terms of being able to even do this.  The opportunity is there to have sex with young and attractive women in a relatively safe environment with no commitment, what not to like?   I’m mostly looking forward to the encounters, but I occasionally do have some doubts as to how it will go based on my past.  I am carefully screening for the proper provider.  Guilt or fear that the wife will find out is not an issue,  my wife of 30 years, the only woman I have been with (and the love of my life), has given the green light, if it “purges my demons,” as she says.  The idea, I guess, is that having a few encounters would make me feel “normal,” particularly if they go well, but even if they don’t.  So I guess my motivation is “self therapy.”