I received notification from a provider who is in the process of screening me for an appointment next week that she still has not received responses from the four ladies she contacted for verification on my Provider Okay list at Preferred411.

In the simplest terms, a provider should not grant a Provider Okay if she will not respond to a request for verification.

An unusual aspect of this situation is that one of the providers contacted viewed my profile on Preferred411 earlier this week.  Why would she view my profile unless she had been prompted by something (the other provider's request)?

Is anyone else having issues with receiving timely responses for references?

The provider seeking to verify me told me that some providers will not respond for over a week (if at all).  This in turn compromises her ability to schedule.

It just seems so unprofessional for a provider not to supply a reference.

I am debating whether to contact the providers to find out why they will not supply a simple request from another provider.  Does this seem like a worthwhile strategy?  If they will not provide a reference, I would like to remove them from my list of Provider Okays.

I appreciate any informative responses to this message thread.

You never know.  It could be the woman who's doing the screening is not giving enough info to your references.  Maybe her tone was rude when contacting your refs.  Or maybe she has other hesitations about seeing you and is using the screening process to delay until you give up and try someone else.  If I had a client with a stack of refs it wouldn't be that tough to find out what I need to know.  Especially if you have reviews as well.

I would not contact the providers and ask why they won't cooperate.  At most, I might send a polite email with a couple of reminder details and leave it at that.  If that doesn't get the process moving along I'd drop it and go see someone else.

Sorry to hear you have the blues...
Maybe ask to be screened a different way?  Is there another provider you can reference?  It's unfortunate that you are having issues belonging to such a reputable site.  I'm sure it's nothing personal, maybe she is traveling or just too busy to communitcate with other providers?

It's funny that NONE of your ladies responded. At least one of them should've if things were done right...

1. Did you ask any of the four ladies you named as references if they can be contacted? A lot of ladies give you the Okays on P411 so they don't have to be contacted for references, cause they don't know the importance of checking behind these services...
If your answer was YES, proceed to question 2.

2. Did you contact the ladies prior to giving the information that they should be contacted by the potential provider? SOME consider this an invasion, so just to be sure, send your reference an email before she's contacted by a random lady.

3. Did your potential playmate follow proper protocols on sending the request, equipped with all of her information as well? If she leaves anything out in the FIRST communication, they may be afraid it's a wife.

Now to the interesting part...
4. Are the ladies in the same neighborhood price-wise? I know it's a weird question to ask, but some high-priced ladies get offended that a guy that they've met would even consider a low-priced girl ESPECIALLY after being with them, and the low-price girl gets mad that you're seeing a girl that's triple her rate, especially since you low-balled her for a 30 minute appointment. (this is most definitely not your fault)

5. Are any of your references your ATF, or someone you see frequently? Some ladies DO NOT like to share...

Now let's self-assess...
6. What kind of client are you? If there were REALLY something wrong with you, ALL the ladies would've came forward and said something negative. And that brings me to my last question: did you get a chance to meet the lady irregardless to your reference issues, due to other screening methods?

If she has she should say something -_o, kind of like a guy changing his mind about an appt but the only person who knows that is HIM.

I appreciate your message.

The only problem (with the second part of your message) I anticipate is that by not contacting the providers I will not know if I can rely on them to supply references to other providers in the future.

Thus, if I continue to supply their information to other providers, it would seem to be a potential dead-end creating delays in verification.

6.) I decided to cancel the confirmed appointment I had with the lady for next week.  Note:  I have earned (and paid) for my references.  She felt uncomfortable for her safety without a reference.  In order to alleviate her concerns, I decided to cancel.  Thus, there will be no meeting with the lady.
Note:  I have additional Provider Okays (although somewhat dated).  Also, I am verified with RoomService2000.

5.) Three of the four references were ladies only seen once.
Note:  The only unusual aspect of the four references is that one of the ladies now books appointments for one of the references.  Thus, she could have been accountable for not answering both requests for verification.

4.) No, I do not believe there is any material difference in rates.  All of the references are in the $300-$400 range.
Note:  Actually, the lady requesting the references was at a higher rate ($450-$500).

3.) The lady requesting the references is a veteran provider (over eight years experience).  Thus, I doubt she missed any information.

2.) No, I did not contact the ladies by e-mail notifying them of a potential reference inquiry.  The most professional providers that I know are more than happy to supply a reference.

1.) I feel that this idea goes to the core of my concern:  A lady should not give a Provider Okay if she will not be held accountable when asked for a reference.

I appreciate your concern for my situation (the blues).

I decided to cut my losses with the situation and cancel the appointment.

Now I just have to re-evaluate the soundness of my references on Preferred411.

requiring a gentleman's written permission (email) before releasing his information (or information about our time together) as any form of "unprofessional."

Would it be better if these reference ladies of yours blabbed willy nilly about your shared personal affairs to just anyone who inquired about them?

Frankly, with the scenario as it is, it would have been best if your references contacted you and confirmed whether you had indeed initiated the reference requests. However, in a perfect world you would have contacted these ladies in advance to let them know to anticipate contact from this new lady. It seems a small thing, but this one addition might have perhaps allowed things to go more smoothly.

they can use me as a reference anytime...however I prefer they contact me first...so that I know it is really legit...and as soon as I get an email from her...I respond a.s.a.p...but I Will tell You...I do Not understand why some providers choose Not to respond...I personally have given up using other providers as a reference...and I have my own way to verify and it only takes 10 minutes of my time...so I make the process simple and easy for my gentlemen friends  and btw...if I were You...I would contact the providers and see what the hold up is...it takes a whole...what 30 seconds of my time to respond and verify You...lol...

Not everyone screens the same way.  Good luck!

i can see how some of the ladis might be pissed about having to give a reference. some seem to want to keep a client for themselves, which i can totally understand, that is one of their sources for $$$.. this isnt always the situation as i have seen it but it does happen. or like stated above i think that maybe the provider you are trying to see may just be making it more diffucult to really see if you are "okay".  you might be suprised by a request from her sometime later..

Hi. I just wanted to chime in as a provider who uses a verification service and does not give out provider references. I hope you don't mind.

Personally I use one verification service which usually gets in touch with me within in 2-20 minutes and I of course belong to a board for ladies to stay safe. I do not accept provider references because frankly speaking, it's bad business to walk "money" out of your door. While we live in a fantasy world when we are partaking in one another,  prior to doing so it is business and all business on both ends. Speaking on a business stand point it just is bad ethics in such a cut throat and recession toned atmosphere to rely on the word of your competition. You never know which past provider may have gotten herself in trouble, retired or if she has a significant other had stumbled upon the hidden job/life and now can't access that email etc.

Also having to have a discussion with another provider tends to spark some sort of comradely and then cattiness follows. I prefer to just avoid it all and use a verification service, research it myself and be done with it. Plus as an adult who's had relationships outside of the hobby I'm well aware that chemistry is EVERYTHING and you may not feel that with everyone so those references aren't always unbiased.

I've used Datecheck P411 and here in Chicago Roomservice (which is nationwide), I use roomservice2000 100% of the time to be honest with you. I get a response generally within the hour.

I hope this helps some.

Signed,

Natalie Rose

a gent contacted me in hopes of seeing me.  He was not a member of P411 or another screening service.  I wish he had been.  If he'd had a few provider okays, at least I would have known that he was a legitimate hobbyist.

He had to give me 5-6 provider names before I actually was able to reach one of them.  The others either: had no website;  had no email; had phone only but didn't answer and wouldn't return my calls; answered but refused to talk to me (saying, "there is noone here by that name"); or, had email but did not reply back.  

I was getting frustrated. He was getting frustrated.  I had asked him SEVERAL times, please contact some of these ladies and tell them I will be calling.  But, he would not. So, even though this guy SAID he had seen alot of ladies, he was not the easiest guy to screen!  Just about the time I was going to give up, I got an email from a lovely provider Tayshin who okayed him.   Had he been a part of a verification/screening service and had 5-6 provider okays, I would not have been so insistent on actually reaching a provider and getting her personal okay.

Anyway, the man is a very nice guy and his little chipmunk cheaks are sooooooo adorable!!  I do think he will turn out to be one of my ATF clients!

The moral of this story:  PLEASE LET THE PROVIDER KNOW WE WILL BE CONTACTING HER TO VOUCH FOR YOU!!

Thank you, Belinda

Your post and the responses to it, are exactly why I don't even bother with the reference exercise.  The system sucks on so many levels that it's impossible to straighten out.

It's much easier to see different providers if you DON'T go through all those gyrations.  The whole business of verification and references, in my experience, is a total sham anyway.

There are thousands of providers out there and jumping through all those hoops to see a particular provider is damn near a neurotic twitch.

If your pleasant, presentable, courteous and have a presence of some sort, you shouldn't have the trouble you've been experiencing.

Naturally, others may have differing opinions.  This is my story and I'm stickin' to it.