who you haven't seen in years to call you up and want to start seeing you again?  

client 1, 39, direct marketing co president, multimilliionaire, never esp. generous calls and tells me he has feelings for me and he wants to start seeing me with no $ involvement, just take me to dinner etc.  i told him no.  because i don't want to be the girl on the side to the girlfriend he won't marry. ugh.

client 2,  same age,  same $, strangely another direct marketing co president, but *always* generous.  after seeing him every week for a year and a half and being the main source of my income while i was utr (unde the radar) would not return my emails. i lost a lot of sleep over that.  in part because my income just went *poof* and in part because i was quite fond of him. now he wants to see me again. sends a hello 'real name' email this morning...

anyway, is this kind of thing common. is this some kind of christmas thing?  would you take these guys back?  where/how do you draw the line and say i just won't to see 'him' any more?









-- Modified on 12/30/2005 11:33:59 AM

See them - provide a good experience - take the money - move on!  Just my view- I know that the Ciara's are likely to not like my answer -but this is business - and you know what to expect from these guys - as I say - move your mind on - but get the business....

You're a provider now?

once, many years ago, I hooked up with an ATF.  Great sex, fun girl (she had some issues, but everybody who hasn't been sterilized does) and I saw her for a couple years.  Thought about conventional dating, but never acted on it - I think she was too much of a flake to be practical.  We were both young & transient, and both moved on.

Anyway, about 5 years later, I ran into her by accident, and it was old home week.  But then we realized, you know, we had both moved on, and were farther apart, and we just never saw each other again.  I still think of her sometimes, and hope she did well, but I can't say I think anything would have worked.

It's hard to judge people.  Somebody asked me exactly that the other day, and having been in the biz of judging people for 30 odd years, I don't know what to say.   Look to their history, and the pressures on them.

Time is money, and most of us understand and don't resent that.  Client 1 is no good for you, and you've described exactly why.  Client 2 is good for you, and I'd be surprised if you didn't have some feeling for him.  Go for it.

It's not about "taking them back".  It's about remembering the history, recognizing the pressures involved, and projecting what will happen.   You'll feel good about #2, and he'll help you do well, and that's not true of #1.

Do what is right for you. Yes, this is just a "business" but there are times when you might have feelings for someone. You can only decide that for yourself. It sounds like number 1 wants his cake and eat it too. Why be the second girlfriend and not get paid for it? If you really enjoy spending time with him, then do it. However, it doesn't sound like you wanted a relationship with this man (although you like him). He was merely providing you with some income, and you were both having a good time in the process.  My advice:  Either take the money or drop 'em like a hot potato. Too risky and too many head games!

Hugs,
Ciara

-- Modified on 12/30/2005 12:12:35 PM

Maybe if he had waited longer than 8 minutes, a provider could've answered first.  It's not that his answer was bad, but come on the question was explicitly directed to providers.  Let them have first crack at it.

-- Modified on 12/30/2005 12:16:52 PM

hobbyists all imagine that they are providers.  What a neat fantasy.

...why either of you care if/when he contributes to this thread or not. His post takes nothing away from the original question, nor does it prevent anyone else from answering. In fact, anyone can reply directly to the original post without ever having read his contribution. You know by his handle he's not a provider, so you easily ignore his post.

If the original poster had only wanted input from the ladies, and not from us all, she would have posted to the TER's super-secret, Ladies-Only board (you know, the one that we gents are not supposed to know about).

lets just put it this way...this a business ... plain and simple,. Sounds like neither are available for takin. besides that sounds like they left you so if you like the cash and company, see them and enjoy while you can. most of all remember this is nothing nmore than business, not a dating service, give yourself a dose of reality and be happy they thought enough to call you once again. Please don't be getting your feelings hurt over my words. They are just that... my words. Happy New Year.

-- Modified on 12/30/2005 3:29:30 PM

Say "welcome back!" to #2 and have fun!

what the providers say about the subject.  The point is that they asked providers to comment.  When I wrote a post asking the hobbyists to comment on something, I would have thought it presumptuous for the providers to chime in, at least until some hobbyists had commented.
Guys, lets stop feeding the stereotype of the self-absorbed egotistical male.  It's OK for a beer commercial, but let's not indulge it here.

There's a secret board for the girls?  Really?

Is there a secret one for us guys?

Simply love being by myself, enjoying life with a few dear friends, and a few clients who understand my desire to live alone and freely.  It's glorious and peaceful.

...now we have this big-ass "sidetrack" thread that could have been avoided if you guys had just ignored Bizzaro.

I do get your point, I just think Bizzaro's intentions were good.

He's not like those [bald-headed] a-holes that post 1-liner wisecracks to every thread.

-- Modified on 12/31/2005 10:16:28 AM

I am a VIP and I know nothing about a super sexy ladies board!!
You sexy thing you!!

Kisses
SexyC

1. Don't see him
2. See him and keep it business as usual.

I have had several clients that have asked to see me/date me...It starts with an email and than moves to phone comversations..etc., etc., etc.,

I believe this is a tactic that men in the business use to get freebies and perhaps BB service.
Good Luck

SexyC

but I felt the line had to be drawn somewhere.  As to intentions, I have no doubt that his are true, but as they say:  The road to hell...

What about this secret site?  Is it true or a myth?

...My sources say it's run off a separate server farm than the main TER site, housed someplace near Tempe. It's accessible only by dial-up so that verification can be done via caller ID rather than IP address. Once connected by modem, there's a second layer of biometric verification, which I've heard is actually a "nipple scan" -- pressing a nipple against a stand thumb-print scanner. Very ingenious, really. Keeps the guys out.

Supposedly board access is by invitation only, so not just any lady can join. Once you get invited you have to sign a confidentiality agreement, the violation of which results in your profile and all images being prefixed with "TS-". They're quite serious about keeping this info from us guys.

:-O

only to get hobbiests responding...  My take? we are all hobbiests - providers and the gyys who go to them.  Sorry to have concerned you, however, my perspective is probably as valid as anyones - for a very wide variety of reasons...  Not the least of which is how I came to this hobby.  

Again, my apologies - but valid views are valid views....  When you post in public - you take your chances.

Quote: " "nipple scan" -- pressing a nipple against a stand thumb-print scanner. Very ingenious, really. Keeps the guys out."

Yeah, Lex,I'm pretty sure men have nipples. Last time I checked men had nipples, I draw nekkid people so I have seen nekkid men...and they had nipples.  Lex did you perhaps have some kind of beltsander accident you haven't mentioned?

Now, labia scan, that might keep the guys out.

...the scan replaces the password, silly, not the registration procedure (which is invite-only). Guys could steal or crack a password, but it would be harder to fake someone else's nipple print which, much like an orca's spots or a whales barnicle are unique to an individual.



-- Modified on 1/1/2006 10:48:06 PM

it  seems strange to me.  whether they're available or not is pretty irrelevant to me because i'm not trying to date anyone seriously or retire.  just trying to make the most of the situation and figure out what the best thing to do busines-wise,sanity wise. which is why i asked for provider perspectives.

-- Modified on 1/1/2006 2:02:59 PM

Things can happen in a person's life where he has to stop seeing a provider (the 'no strings' is one of the benefits, right?).  It has happened to me.  Whatever that was for guy #2 seems to have passed.  I see no reason not to resume what seemed to be mutually beneficial sessions.

moved back to the east coast city where he is from because his company lost some accounts.  he told me that might happen.  still,  it was still sort of hurtful that he wouldnt return my email and acted like i didnt exist after spending hours with him almost every friday or sat night for the better part of 2 yrs.    and a bit shocking that he remembered my real name correct (spelling and all) and emailed me this week.

i emailed him back saying i would see him.  but, i honestly don't know if things will be the same. :|

the lack of responses tells me maybe it is a bit unusual (answer to halfmy question) and/or maybe they were just busy because it's new years weekend.  but, doesn't really matter who responded..