Here's what I've learned by trial and error, about women, over a period of 20+ years. Women are so damn hard to pleasure sexually,  there is no cookie book recipe one can follow, that will work for all women.

Here's what works for me, I try to find out as much as possible about what makes her tick sexually. It's different for all women. When I've got this figured out, I repeat the same thing over and over again. For example, I start with lot's of foreplay and teasing, asking her  what she likes or how she likes to be touched, licked etc., once I've gotten her to orgasm at least 2 or 3 times, it's time to move on to the next main event. If I'm able to make her orgasm through sexual penetration, then that's just the icing on the cake.

Learn these things and you'll have a woman who'll never let you out of sight.

Then a fair amount of trial and error led to wonderful discoveries on both sides.

That is why often second visits have the potential to increase satisfaction.

and that is that many women find it a big turn on if we guys forget about what buttons to push and just lie back and let her do her own thing to us.

I think they get a bigger thrill out of seeing us come than vice versa.

Do any of you gals agree?  Have any of you guys experienced that?

It's kind of counterintuitive for us because guys are always in a postition of fixing things, etc.

I think you could probably stop at hard to please...

I found that in general that is the case. Or maybe just the women I choose. Not always but a very high percentage.

the fact that is that every human being, male or female, is a distinct individual and to think that anyone can be pleased by following some basic "recipe" (including the one you have outlined) is folly.

for example, i cannot describe just how completely and utterly turned OFF i would be by being in the company of a man who was asking me what i liked or what he could do to please me...ugh!!!! so you see, there is just no secret, no magic tricks, it's about being an attentive and intuitive sexual partner, and more than anything else, actually having chemistry (which cannot be learned or manufactured) with your partner.

You're exactly right.... It's all about chemisty.  There is nothing worse than a lover who doesn't go the extra mile to satisfy you!

Only the civies call it security.

B-I-N-G-O !!

ASK us what feels good AND LISTEN.
Forget the formulas and what worked for any/every other woman you've been with.
Understand that even the same woman may not get aroused by the same things every single time.

I personally get hyper aroused by getting my partner aroused, and honestly
guys, understand the whole body is an erogenous zone.  

=)  viv

As suggested - different people want and respond to different things. The OP does what he does (and I confess, I do some of the same things, though perhaps without as much need for verbal confirmation), at least as much because it suits him as to please his partner. That may be very gratifying to some partners, and annoyingly smothering, even needy, to others.

Sure, each of us is demanding and fickle in our own way, men and women, and we each have our own way of relating to people. After a while we become set in those ways, and that eventually means we end up almost exclusively with people who react well to how we behave. You get what you give.

So, you could say the OP looks for women who like his sort of attention and are difficult to please. Since I do some of the same things, I can even safely say it is a behavior that gives him a lot of control - after all, while she has veto power and even some opportunity to provide suggestions and direction, he has to choose to do it.

Me, I recognize this is mostly about me and am trying to learn to let others take more control, to relax & let them please me. Still a work in progress, though. But I do recognize that it is much more about me and what I want to do/have done, than it is about someone else.

And let's be real here, we are talking about hobbyists paying providers to do what they (the hobbyists) want. Not to be disrespectful, but part of the provider's job description is to pretend that almost anything the hobbyist wants to do is pleasing. It helps a lot if it is pleasing, of course, and I know, and very much appreciate that there is an interaction between two humans going on at a very intimate level (physically at least) that makes it all a lot more complex than the basic P4P transaction suggests - I read evidence of that ambiguity and complexity here every day.

In fact, I am almost as fascinated by the blurred boundaries that exist in these transactions as I am by the wonderful ladies I have met. Almost.

Zig

If she doesn't know what turns herself on. How in the world will you know. Its pretty mush about communication.

Just open your wallet and hand over a big stack of hundreds. She will love you (really your money) for life! But be careful, cause once the money is gone she will move on to the other guy with the full wallet.

Yeah it's the same for men as far as the same doesn't please all. We're not hard to please unless you make it that way.