Been seeing this one provider regularly every other week since I broke up with my ex last November. Haven't done a review on her as I'm waiting to see how the "friendship" plays out. Things started out fantastic & really seemed to hit it off initially.  

Up until the last 3 visits or so I've noticed she has been getting flighty & even flat out last session flaked due to over sleeping well into the evening of our scheduled session of 8pm.

Didn't think about it much until after this happened but been noticing a trend last few sessions delaying our session time every single time usually by an hour or so. Even when I get to her incall I'm still waiting a good half hour or so while she preps for our dates.  During sessions as well while still great conversationally, during the deed after she sings to the heavens above she seems to complain about my physicality (which I think is highly exaggerated)  & being "sensitive". To a degree has always been an issue but would take mini breaks & resume to where now she just wants it to end quickly altogether.

Double edge sword because while she compliments me about things I also feel I've started to get the short end of the stick atleast in my opinion as would like to extend these moments within reason during schedule time frame of our dates. Usually 1 or 2 hours sessions we schedule pending circumstances.

Even text responses for dates, confirming etc are getting patchy as responses come out of left field at times.  

 I tip when things go great, bring little gifts she wants every once in awhile to show my appreciation, always stick to my word on everything, never over stay my time, treat her like a gentlemen, always well groomed, impeccable hygiene (body/breath) and tall stay in decent shape for 47 (on trt, eat well, strength train 3 days a week alternating with cardio, low body fat)....

Is this a thing where I should move on altogether? Maybe the fun has lost some appeal for her or shes possibly feeling entitled due to the regular friendship or possibly something more drastic like substance issues etc?

After a horrid experience with a well known LA provider previously and seeing some slight similarities wondering if it's even worth bringing up or just moving on. Asked already if all is good & said no way I'm crazy she enjoys our time together alot (probably my fat wallet) lol... But figured since we have developed a good report in other areas confiding in personal matters somewhat etc that maybe reading to much into it? She tells me I'm "cute" we are roughly same age but my gut thinks possibly being played?

While have grown quite fond of our friendship I do seek out seeing atleast a couple other providers monthly so wondering if should focus on possibly doing more of that?

Interested in getting both a hobbyist's perspective & provider's one a like thank you as possibly a few others can relate

Either she's got stuff going on in her life, that has nothing to do with you, which is causing her distraction and overall less-than-professional demeanor and actions.

 
Or she, for any number of reasons, doesn't really want to see you.    This may even be subconscious on her part.

This has happened to me: I realize I'm dragging my feet responding to someone or even kept him waiting downstairs for no reason.   It'll finally hit me that I'm not comfortable seeing him anymore and that's when I'll tell him I can't see him again.    
This could be the situation here.  And, as I've admitted has happened to me: she may not even realize she's doing it.    
Or she's hoping you get the hint.  Or she doesn't want to hurt your feelings.  If it's either of the latter two, then asking her point-blank (again) likely won't get you a direct, truthful answer.    

This sucks for you, but it could be because she's very empathetic or afraid of any possible retaliations so she's just hoping you'll go away on your own.   (sorry if that's harsh)

 
It's also possible she is simply taking you for granted.    

 
You could take a break from seeing her for a month or so then contact her again..... how she responds should be an indicator of what the story is here.

 
I hope that helps!

-- Modified on 9/2/2020 5:40:18 AM

Is the same as one of Debra's - she takes you for granted.    Take a break from her, and see other ladies.  Maybe give her another chance in the future, but sounds to me like you have answered all of your own questions.  

You are paying her for a service; if you aren't satisfied with the service, just move on.

-- Modified on 9/2/2020 6:39:28 AM

and it seldom worked out for the best.

 
I broke off for a few months and went back.   Things started off great again but then quickly went downhill.

 
I suggest breaking off completely and finding someone else.   Cast a wide net.

I'm going to say it appears in her mind that you are simply an income stream that she can take for granted.  
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I think first visits are usually the best because they are still trying to get repeat biz.  In some instances second visits might even be better due to getting some initial misgivings out of the way.  After that it begins a gradual slide.  That's human nature.
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That's why I seldom repeat (also because I love novelty.)

Could this be an extension of the girlfriend experience where, more often than not, one party grows tired of the relationship?

Time to trade in that rental Chevy for a new one.

ha ha, REAL GFE.

I'm leaning with most on the taking for granted situation but who knows. Everyone including Debra (thank you by the way for going in-depth with your response) up to this point brings up great potential reasons

Yes it's been a GFE (ironic huh LOL) situation since day one. That's usually what I go for. Just all strange because over the many many months and even recently over the last 3 she has opened up alot more, started inviting me over to her residence for incall instead of her usual incall location etc.

I did flat out ask through text after last appointment flake and her reaction was that of being totally taken back. I explained why, she did feel very bad, profusely apologized about sleeping in and insisted she did over sleep.  She said im cute, a good guy and absolutely no way should I ever feel like she's just tolerating me or my presence. She seemed to genuinely want to make that clear  

Her following response was that she has severe intimacy issues, kind of odd she would throw that out there and honestly didn't even know how to take that or respond to it.

Again could all be a hustle? as she doesn't want my $$ stream to disappear by saying all that but I don't know been in the hobby on/off for over 12 years, never have had this issue with a single ATF provider I've repeated multiple times even if the chemistry fades. Usually always been clear cut and dry.

Taking these things as major red flags, the sleeping in so late being the biggest one if what she's saying is legit! Had the absolute worst experience recently with another provider, so maybe I'm starting to see through some things clearer than before in the past

Except that usually the second appointment is the best because she wants to prove that you made the right choice.  After that she will often times think that you are a gimme.  Did she apologise and attempt to make it up for flaking?  If she didn't at least make some sort of a symbolic gesture, then that is a huge red flag.  I would definitely reach out to other ladies.  I would also consider pinging a few of her reviewers assuming that she has some and simply asking them if they experienced the same thing.  I know a few ladies that are great but are always late.  Every single time.  For everyone.  Don't know whether it would (or should) make a difference to you if she does something to everyone.

-- Modified on 9/2/2020 5:48:02 PM

Just to clarify, is she complaining that your dick is too big?

You just don't know what is going on, so if I were you, I would let go of the questioning and move on. Sometimes stuff just stops working.

When I was having a lot lot of sex, I was better able to handle varied sized penises and levels of sex... but during covid, I'll go to fk someone on top and topple off realizing I'm not that flexible anymore, haha.

Years ago, I had a guy tell me my "performance had gone down". I had already told him before he made a decision to book with me, that I had pulled my back and had some neurological issues that were flaring up. Also, he said I didn't "kiss him the same." and asked if I was no longer attracted to him.

I don't know what he was talking about, because 1. I still fucked him pretty good with a back issue, (I was on hydrocodone for it though - I didn't feel anything, but maybe I was slower?) 2. I thought I kissed him the same, but maybe my style of kissing changed because of some other stuff going on in my life.

The constant questioning killed if for me, and we both moved on.

Maybe take a break? Maybe you are becoming mundane and need to spice it up a little bit with some absence. That's actually a trick they say to do in marriages and stuff to keep things exciting. Sometimes you just get sick of someone for a while - it happens to everybody.

Sometimes, though, it just ain't happening anymore.

Good luck, don't over think it too much - most of the time there are personal issues.

Yes she did apologize as stated in my prior response and definitely said she will see me again whenever I want and will be punctual waiting for me. No other token of gesture outside of being extra attentiveness with texts wanting to make clear that she just doesn't tolerate me, saying I'm "cute" & just randomly throwing out her "severe intimacy issues" as well.

All her reviews are average to fantasy level great. Tried reaching out to a couple of her recent reviewers that seemed to be on the level and not exaggerating to no avail. Have seen in a couple of her reviews punctuality being brought up and in hindsight has always been that way but not to the point of last 3 or 4 sessions.  

Also like a couple others have pointed out looking back if do recall correctly 2nd session possibly being the best... Maybe one of the best experiences of my life period! LMAO.. but only last couple months have the quality of the romps as stated in original post have taken a bit of  dive (complaining about sensitivity etc.)

Perhaps you'd like to use it as an excuse for your replies in the Melanie train wreck thread today too??? lol

Yes but never have had another single lady provider or otherwise say a word about me being big. Has always been brought up in our dates since day 1 but now seems to be effecting duration of things. What I find interesting is that she always mentions it like "not being a bad thing"... But ends up biting me in the rear. Idk has made me self conscious to  the point I've actually measured. Technically dont know how to put this BUT only alittle bit larger than the "supposed average" LOL

You can be friends with a service provider, but you still deserve the same level of service that you have been getting, as long as she is offering to do so. I am friends with my financial advisor. But if he doesn't grow my money he'll be moved from professional service provider to just Facebook friend in a second.  

 
The 2nd, or maybe the 3rd time she either seriously delayed or rescheduled on you, you could have replied with something like "no worries, I can schedule with someone else today. Thanks for letting me know about about the schedule challenge. See you again in two weeks, ok?"  

 
Then it's up to her to either say, no thank you, or  make sure she's not taking you for granted and get her schedule and service level up to your established standards. I am in no way saying that she OWES you any level of service or promptness, or that her personal life-issues should be discounted. She's human, has a life and feelings.  But I am saying that as a professional, like any other professional, I do expect her to act, well, professional. If she's no longer interested in you, she should tell you (in any of several ways). If she's having difficulty adhering to her confirmed schedule, she should apologize and let you know as soon as practical. No requirement to tell you WHY she can't, just what you should expect and when you should expect it, as accurately as possible.  

 
Finally, being friends with a provider is a VERY subjective term.  You can both be friendly towards each other. You can both share personal aspects of your lives with each other when together. But be careful calling each other "friends"  outside of the professional relationship.  For illustration purposes only - ask your self if you do with her what you do with other friends (no, not the sex). Do you invite her to your Super Bowl party?  Do you post pics and reply to her Facebook posts? Have you taken her on a fishing trip with other couples?  Maybe you don't do any of those things with your non-provider friends. But, well, you get the point....  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

When he was talking about how "nice" he was to his friend, he mentioned among other things that "I never overstay my time" if they were really "friends" that would not be an issue. I have plenty of hooker buddies that I consider friends, I would never even think about "overstaying" my time with real friends, and it never crosses my mind with my hooker friends either because we are FRIENDS. Friends don't put a stopwatch on their friendship.  

 
As you so aptly put it, there is a huge difference between being friends and being friendly. He is a customer, no more and no less, but he is getting the worst parts of paying a hooker combined with the worst parts of having a bitchy girlfriend. He needs to hit a serious reset button with her if possible, but most likely she is too used to treating him like shit by now and is unlikely to reverse course.  

 
It's also likely that as Debra suggested, she is "acting out" she is mentally done with him, hoping he'll just go away, but for some reason can't just tell him in words, so she acts like a bitch hoping he will eventually get the hint.

People can be weird (or sane?) about crossing professional lines.  I have a relative who is a medical doctor.  One night he was out on the town with his wife (my cousin) and her sister (also my cousin, his sister-in-law.)  The sister-in-law's little brat had some sort of medical emergency (this was years ago so I can't remember what it was exactly.) The sis-in-law asks doc to take a look at the kid.  He says, take him to the hospital, I'm out for the evening.    
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Some people draw the line at professional life and everything else, friendship or relations notwithstanding.  In some way they are wise, because there is no end to people who will take advantage of friendships and relations.

Appreciate the advice BUT when I said "friends" said it as such as I know its most likely fleeting and that she will probably miss my fat wallet!

And for the record never said I was being "nice".. Said I try to be a gentlemen as being respectful but that doesn't mean being push over!

Again thanks for the advice but OP like said I'm paying for a professional service. Goes both ways, we are all adults not little children. Can't be straight up then that falls on whoever cant be straight up!  

If a provider has no problem taking your green (which they all have absolutely every right not to do so if they choose) then they should provide/be professional as long as a client uses common sense, follows basic 101 rules & is courteous.

If being "nice" or myself is a problem with a provider then I have no issues letting go. Sucks but hey everyone should know their worth clients and providers alike. I am paying for a GFE service, not in the hobby to play games... Or be distant so I'm not mundane!  

So probably going to move on as know she has a different tune somewhat because she sees a regular stream of $$ potentially going out the window.  The fact "intimacy issues etc" are being brought up shows outside of potential entitlement issues alittle BSC side I'm not game for.  

Provider's I appreciate your input as well, but just like you want to hold all your clients to a standard and should... Goes both ways!  Hopefully thats the lesson to be learned here for EVERYONE if anything good comes from this. If can't communcate properly no matter what and or can't get your stuff together enough be a mature adult then providers should reconsider what they are doing & same goes for any clients!  

No need for any major headaches in this hobby! Just IMHO!!!!!

This is not a phenomenon ; this is quite normal and why I seldom see the same provider multiple times. It’s just like when you first meet your gf; she’s everything you want. Then when she gets comfortable with you and you make her your wife, she reveals the real person. She knows she has you by the string, so doesn’t feel she has to put in as much effort to keep you around because you’ve likely conveyed to her you’re not going anyway. Put her on ice for a month or two and see how she responds. If she doesn’t reach out to you...then you have your answer. And why on earth would you be looking for a ‘friendship’ with a provider anyway?

I simply pointed out that "friends" don't have to worry about the clock, expect if they know their friend has someplace else to be, or in the case of a hooker friend, that she has another appointment coming. I happen to have a LOT of hooker friends and I never look at the clock to see if I have overstayed, I think they would be VERY insulted if I were ever to do so, but then again they are actual "friends" not just hookers who are friendly to me because I pay them to be friendly.

 
Yes, providers often start taking clients for granted, and I am sure either that is the issue OR she is acting out intentionally trying to get rid of you. Either way, I think you will agree you have a losing hand and it's time to move on to someone who will treat you better. Even if she "wakes up" and starts treating you better, it's probably just a matter of time before she drifts back into old habits, best to cut your losses and move on, there are a LOT of fish in sea.

Thank you GaGambler, DrZooology & everyone else that has replied, shared their experiences & own two cents in the matter.

Yes I considered us "friend's"  or "acquaintances" as we had met off the clock a couple times for coffee & lunch. She actually paid for lunch as I got her previously for coffee.  

Could either be she went cold on everything, what I'm leaning towards taking for granted or some "type of personal issues"... Either way she got wind of this post & was not happy! Said she already felt bad enough about flaking on me/making me wait due to her over sleeping & was making her "feel worse" coming on here about it. Not going to say what she said about everyone's opinion on here, basically all she tried to do was convince me that it was an "honest mistake", hinted to her "severe intimacy issues" & said shes dealing with some personal things mainly from a couple clients of hers! Also hinted she doesnt know how to "read me" as one minute I act strictly like a client to the next acting like this great guy friend. Says it "confuses her"...

All & all.. I do sense some major entitlement, BSC red flags & ultimately taking things granted for sure. Definite damage control with her responses which to probably keep some steady revenue coming in I don't know...  Do know she's been in the game for quite awhile so while I try not to be a insensitive jerk to anyone's feelings, i feel ive done nothing to warrant the flakiness or lack of quality of effort put forth over the last month or two so these things she mentions my gut isn't quite buying.  We are both roughly the same age so this is pure goofiness.

So basically shes been trying to reconfirm, nail down a time for that "raincheck" she flaked out on. We discussed this coming weekend (she said I brought up Friday, I thought Sat)... Anyways told her some things have come up & probably wont be able to get together for a few weeks. Outside of promising me to be ready waiting for me on the date, never really extended any type of olive branch. So taking others advice said this weekend is a no go but will drop off $100 cancellation fee before end of the week if this puts her in a bind. Said can drop off in her mailbox, but is blocking me until I do so.

All I needed to hear! Will come through on my end for my peace but I'm moving on. Maybe I started getting a bit emotionally attached to the situation seeing her for so many months but always tried to just be my genuine self. First few months she came off acting like it was a genuine breath of fresh air. Whether she took that for granted or just played off that who knows. But have seen quite a few other ladies recently (outside of one being an absolute BSC nightmare, the others were really nice) so I've planned on adding some of these awesome ladies into my rotation & reviewing them as well! Just leaving this situation well enough alone.

This is a great thread.   Sometimes it's a bit hard to move on when there is a bit of attachment - even though you know it's is p4p situation and the girl could be acting for the $.  Good luck to you in finding another atf.

"Familiarity breeds contempt." Women like a challenge, uniqueness, some "mystery"--doesn't matter if she's a provider or "civvie". She might simply be bored-I hate saying it but women are like that-if they get bored with you it's over. (And this is not at all to put you down or suggest anything wrong about it you-it's just the way it is!)

Agreed, and I can also relate to the OP somewhat. My ATF for several years has gotten to the point where she asks for too many favors (not money), and is more often than not starting to cancel our sessions in lieu of us just hanging out. Where she used to prioritize our sessions, now she has gotten far too comfortable. I didn’t think it would happen because it was great for a very long time, but I am seeing myself being taken for granted or she is purposely trying to push me into the friend zone. Looks like I’ll just have to be too busy the rest of the year if this happens again.

I actually don't do drugs, Gambler, so I'm not sure what the reference is. I also was not under the influence of any sort of substance.

I will say, the same time I was on that hydrocodone though - (in 2014, when I threw out my back,) I went to go get my legs waxed before that appointment. (Low service, right?) and I was complimenting the lady to heaven and back for making waxing so painless.

Then it hit me later. It was the pain killer.

I only needed to take them for the date, and then I kept them for the next wax... prior to that, somebody stole them, and I did not miss them at all. They make you feel like garbage.

Opiate addiction is no joke, I have had too many friends pass away from opiate-related problems to think your joke is funny tbh. And if you're ever a person to hold the hand of someone you love, who is unknowingly detoxing from opiates due to denial, (because they could never see themselves as an addict,) you wouldn't make that joke.

Opiate addiction is nothing to fuck around with, and I don't touch the shit. Unfortunately, back then, (in 2014,) I didn't know opiates were a "thing" beyond heroin and opium.

It's one of the most heartbreaking things I've seen these past couple of years, and in my life I've seen a lot of addiction ruin people's lives. (Some recovering, which is good... but some, didn't make it.) And the people I've seen go through it, I don't judge them for it. The pain people go through once they get addicted, they don't know sometimes that the pain is not caused by actual pain, but the withdrawal and the body searching for more of the drug.

-- Modified on 9/5/2020 2:16:15 PM

and it would explain a lot about some of the nonsensical posts you make from time to time, like the one you posted earlier today quoting Scripture.

 
BTW, you never did answer my question about the removal of that post. Did you have it deleted yourself, or did Admin remove it because of a RAP?

To me, an All Time Favorite is someone who I am not only completely comfortable with and trust but who rocks my world each and every time we meet.  A true FWB whom I pay.  The professionalism of a high class hooker combined with the Girlfriend Experience.  Anything less is not ATF material.  Anything less is a "moving on" experience, or a "meh, I'm horny and she's available experience".  Infatuation is for suckers.  Move on pal, she ain't worth the agita.
Trust me, my ATF of many years just retired and its gonna be tough to find someone new.  Loved her like a bestie combined with a hot bod and a can do attitude.  Never "in love" that'd be stupid, just like a comfortable homecoming every time we'd fuck.  Thats an ATF.  Non exclusive yet always there for ya.
Your situation sounds like a whore taking you for granted, not valuing the "relationship" at all.

U mean u paid for session and she just want to hangout instead?  Otherwise she should be paying u.

are you sure she's not getting concerned that you are starting to consider her a GF and not a GFE?

END OF MESSAGE

Not really hooker related,  25 years ago I was on a Ski trip in Aspen and was conversing with An MD on The Gondola at Ajax. A lady in our Cable Car asked him a Medical related question.  He too brushed her off to the tune; “ Hey I’m on vacation, call your doc when you get back home”.  That always resonated!

Submitted for your consideration and approval...

 
Any relationship worth having has to be mutually beneficial.  Doesn't sound like she's treating you as an equal.

 

Tell her what's on your mind and that she has your digits if she wants to have a mutually beneficial relationship with you.  Your time is valuable.  You are valuable.  No disrespect will be tolerated.

 

The BS about your cock size is just that --) BS.  It's time for you to up your game and show her what you got.  Eat that pussy for an hour and see if you can get her to squirt.  Sounds fun to me...

 

The problem is you started with a transactional relationship.  Now you want friends with benefits.  Muy dificil Amigo!!!!

 

Feel free to set her free.  See if she comes back to you on her own free will.

 

YMMV

-- Modified on 9/10/2020 11:12:21 PM

if you have already tried to discuss and fix the issues just move on .... at the end of the day if your putting hard earned money out to help her and are as you say (you seem like great  from your description) a good friend/client well you deserve to get your moneys worth at least from my perspective anyway..

Nope, never paid unless there was play. And by hang out, I mean talk and chill for 3-4 hours.

Thank you I appreciate everyone's input. I've moved on & cut it off completely. Too much drama. BSC & decieving is what I found out. Possibly the sketchiest of situations you hear about in this hobby.  

It's unfortunate because we did have some good times & for awhile there was easily the best experience I've had in this hobby.. Not just physically. I did grow to care for her a bit on some level as a human being.  But I think from what I've gathered from her situation after all this it's a mess. Don't think she fully even respects herself enough let alone anyone else.

 Been casting a wide net & having a blast!

Pobably your fat wallet lol  

Move on. You should feel, like a King after ever session. She's way to comfortable if she is having you wait 30 minutes for her to get ready & missing appointments.

Thank you for your insightful, thoughtful & well-written response. I agree.

Xo
Ariel Summers
P51404

Maybe I missed one of the key responses but it doesn't sound like she was doing that much wrong.  She overslept into the night...been there, done that.  We work weird hours sometimes and she probably didn't mean to sleep thru but shit happens.  And if your wiener was big from the gate then that isn't something new and you said she was close to your age and women, of that age start experiencing women problems, pre menopausal problems.  For instance, you just aren't as wet as you once were and she may not even know why that is.  I had this problem and it was because of my allergy pills.  They dry out mucous membranes.  But I didn't know that till I talked to my doctor.  But until I found out I was like WTF I am horny.  I promise I am and have no idea why the hoohah is dry as the desert.  

I am in no way saying you should see someone if you think you are being taken advantage of but I just don't see this as that.  And maybe I am a bit more understanding because I too have some of these problems.  I am always late.  And I have never been late because I was squeezing someone else in.  MY lifetime record for appointments was 3 in one day. That is 24 hours.  I don't work that way but alot of you guys will automatically think that.  And it isn't that I don't respect peoples time.  I do.  I just can't get my shit together and get where I am going.  Probably ADD but I haven't been diagnosed.  And I have gotten alot better but its always been a problem with me.  With incalls I am good.  I don't leave people waiting outside. I make sure I am ready but when I have to be ready and go out, I can't find the door, my keys, my car.  But it usually is my problems and nothing about the client.  Tho when I am not sure about the person my tardiness goes into overdrive like my intuition is trying to tell me not to go.  And there is no valid reason I feel that. The guy would be screened but something just is weird and I listen to my gut.  

SO anyways, yes she might like you for the income but I know I wouldn't keep seeing someone for that reason.  And that would have shown up alot sooner I think.  She may have an s\o or a off \on again type relationship and that may be spilling over into her work.  I am not sure but if she has went out of her way to tell you she still thinks your great then I really don't think the problem is her taking advantage or not liking you anymore.  But you are paying for a service and if it isn't up to par then you have every reason to move on.  I just didn't see the pic like alot of the other responders did.  She wasn't being a bitch as one said, I don't even know why he would say that.   If anything , you could say a flake but I dont even think that.  A flake is usually an intentional behavior.  But hers seems more like mine and not because she does it on purpose or takes you for granted.  But because life is rough sometimes and it is hard to juggle all the shit.  And yes, as providers we should see this and fix it but sometimes we are just trying to survive the best way we can.  And I hope she comes back and reads at least one more post.   I feel you girl.   Just know that if what I say is true you aren't the only one who has gone thru it and if I am completely wrong and you just are working him well I guess that is what the rest of them have already decided.  I just hope some will read this and realize we aren't all one size fits all.  And that we all don't do things for shady reasons , we just may have unresolved or unidentified mental concerns.  Or so they tell me that's my problem.  LOL.  Nobody has said it to my face.  But it is really time for me to say goodnight.

"Don't go away angry, just go away?"  Lol