First off, I figure I will have more fun if the lady is enjoying herself. Everyone does a better job when they enjoy what they are doing.
Secondly, most providers are talented, experienced, adventurous, even kinky. I figure that every provider I meet can show me at least one new thing that will be fucking delightful, and I want to find that thing.
Lastly, I like to be surprised. If I know exactly what is going to happen on a date before it happens, I am going to be bored. Seeing the same lady is great; doing the same thing every time is lousy.
So I search out ladies who are not shy about telling me how they prefer DATY, whether they want to be smacked on the ass, and all that. But beyond that, I trust them, and encourage them to take over at times, surprise me, do whatever they might like to do to and with me. As you said, most are reluctant, then cautious, worried that they will shock, disgust or otherwise upset me. And I have done some things that were a turn off, and declined to do a couple of other things. But I am fine with saying no, or trying something new that I do not like that much. Anyway, it takes a while to get a lady to relax, trust me, open up enough to feel comfortable suggesting whatever she wants.
But, as you say, once you get there, the real fun begins.
I suspect that most hobbyists say they want to please a lady, but most ladies take that to mean they need to tell the guy that whatever he is doing pleases them. If I had to bet, my bet is that the ladies have it right.
zig
Posted By: mrfisher
because that could be perceived as a turn off by the guy, and I bet they are right at least some times.
I like gals who tell me what they like. I have the best times with them.
Some ladies have a program and they attack you the moment you come in the door. Brooke Bentley comes to mind. She's all over you and wrings you out before you are gently deposited out the door, with your only task to make your way safely back to your car.
