Say a gent has been seeing a lady twice a month for about a year.  Let's say the from the gent's perspective things have gone from really hot, to feeling like he and his envelope are being taken for granted, and he feels that given the sizable donation that things are not what he's wanting and that it's time to find someone else.  

keep in mind that for her, it's a business.  Providers are not here looking for a mate, this isn't match.com.  I would just stop making appointments with her.  If she asks why, be honest.

You don't break up with a provider

I don't see the same provider more than twice. I find that sometimes they just get too comfortable. I do have a couple that I continue to see. I like to alternate. One week I will see someone new and then the next week I see one of my favorites that I know I will have a good time with.

one way street.  She's certainly not turning clients away.  I found one I liked & went exclusive...  service suffered & I took a year break.  Eventually I circled back, & added her into the rotation of Favs I'd established.  Fast forward a couple of years, a fresh truck load of drama, & I'm done.  

I definitely agree with the breaking up thing... I was thinking more as a courtesy, if there is such a thing as a courtesy in p4p.  I think it comes down to when do we stop being commodities and start being people; or perhaps more accurately when do we start being commodities who are also people.  

If someone is taking advantage of me, then it means that they no longer respect me. Every relationship in life, including a relationship with a pet, is built and hinges on respect.

This is not exclusive as I do have a rotation to help keep my head straight.  I like what you say about discussing it burns the bridges as that did not occur to me but it makes sense.  It's just that if I'm about to lose a big chunk of income from someone I like, I'd want them to tell me rather than just disappear - but I'm not sure why I feel that way.

Don't be quite so available.  See if her bank account gets renewed excitement in your meetings..

She'll bring her A game the next time you see her. After all, the same shit on a regular basis gets old - ask any of the married guys here.

If you send an e-mail it will probably be ignored. If by phone or in person you may hear something you don't want to hear. However it goes down, it will not be what you expect and will almost certainly be worse. Better to just let it go and keep fond memories rather than risk tainting the good times by having the p4p nature of things shoved in your face, either explicitly or implicitly by her silence. Sounds like you may be late cutting things off as it is, don't make it worse. And I'm saying this as one who has an ATF, and when it's run it's course it's done...she's GFE not GF.

But it has everything to do with your needs/feelings.

low up in my face, some providers do not take kindly to losing that steady monthly income,especially if it is for extended dates!
I can understand wanting to discuss it with her or telling her upfront.  
Then again at times things can improve, however it usually doesn't last.

familiarity breeds contempt and twice a month is familiar, however, there is no shortage of providers who will be more than happy to replace her. Just don't be a jerk about it and try to give your provider a heads up. After a year I'm sure she's counting on the envelopes every month. Give her the opportunity to find a replacement instead of waiting to right before your"next" appointment to tell her that you're moving on. It's a Karma thing.  

The deal is she gets all she asks for on an hour to hour basis. When it no longer feels magical, there's neither a need or reason to get K'd. You're free to ignore anything. Doing otherwise is like a kid having to deconstruct his sandcastle before going home from the beach.

I'm moving on. I would just stop making appointments.  

is best for both of you. You've attempted a conversation about it, but it didn't bring forth a solution. So just cut back to once a month, and if that doesn't help, go every other month. That way she can see that she needs to replace that income but there's no huge drama. Don't tell her- it'll just piss her off. Best to just let her figure it out. We're smart that way. Also, it will allow her to save face. Because no matter what you say or how you say it, she's going to hear, "you suck".  


-- Modified on 2/7/2015 11:43:45 AM

It's sweet of you to want to give a courtesy call, but quite honestly, you're likely going to end up getting a response you never wanted to hear, and if you're done, you're done. There's really no need for explanation, in my opinion. I'd rather you just go on your merry way (no pun intended Mr. Christmas, lol), than have a potential for a drama-filled, unnecessary, and possibly confrontational conversation to unfold. Especially if you've already made it clear you're not happy with the way it's been going lately. Should be no real surprise to her why you quit calling.

OP’s question is very simple and didn’t mention anything about a met. The question is, should you tell her, things are not as hot and he would like to move on.

I'm betting when she knows you've seem a few more gals, she'll tighten up on her time with you. I think it's bet to have a rotation. It's keeps things more fresh and everyone on their best game. Maybe go back to her again after you've had the chance to sample some more hot gals out there.

She'll get the message!

And that is, every atf relationship will end. There's no getting around it. It can happen in a variety of different ways, from either, or both sides. One usually can feel when it's time to move on. Simply put, the magic just isn't there anymore. I've found that it's best to let it happen. It will play out in a variety of different ways, but it's best to let go. Sometimes you communicate, but it's probably better to let things slip away without complications. For sure, it's a sad thing to lose that go to connection. You wish that connection, and the great times could last forever. That you could keep the magic locked in a bottle. But the thought is the antithesis of this hobby.  

but I think it only matters to you.  Most likely, she won't care.  However, honesty and words from the heart are never unappreciated.  

but I will agree that "the same shit on a regular basis gets old" that's the very reason that many of us are here. I've had some very hot GF's over the last many years, women that I didn't have to pay to be with, and women that guys my age would kill to be with. Guess what? I got tired of every one of them, that's what happens when you are a shallow, selfish pig like me I suppose.

And just move on. After all, this is NSA,  so start seeing others, whenever you feel like it.  

You aren't seriously suggesting that he spend thousands of dollars more for an experience he is no longer enjoying, are you?

I would agree with cutting back, but "avoiding drama" is hardly the right motivation. Taking a break to see if she gets the hint to step up her game is one thing. Something like not scheduling for a couple of months and then giving her a chance to "make up for it" on the next visit is one thing. Continuing to see her on a regular basis just because she has grown to rely on the money is HORRIBLE advice. and maybe she needs to hear those words "You suck" everyone needs a wake up call every once in a while.

My first thought was that it was more courteous to let her know. especially if you thought she was particularly dependent on your donations.
But after reading the discussions, I think you are better off just not making appointments, if that is what you want to do. If you want to see her again, you can always reach out to her. Your relationship, after all, is a business relationship, and if you are not satisfied, you are completely right to move on.
If she contacts you to ask why you aren't seeing her, I'd give her a simple and straight-forward explanation, and tell her how much you enjoyed your times together, and that you may reach out to her again.

Hey Joe,
Just wondering if you could elaborate on "sizeable donation" and being taken advantage of?

Hey - it happens!  I have had a few regulars leave my services after 6-12 months, and that's ok.  I appreciate the honest conversation/notification (no matter how brief).  No harm, no foul.  

providers are people, too! With feelings and this isn't a business. It's an intimate service that requires mutual respect and trust...and sorta "to death do we part". Once you commit to becoming a regular, you assume certain responsibilities. If not handled properly, you could get sued for palimony. It happened to a good friend of mine.

Don't ever let me tell you that I'm an intelligent man.

he wasn't totally over her- that he wanted to give her a chance to improve. He can do that by not scheduling when he next would have normally scheduled, but the following time he schedules at the normal time. She has a chance to renew her energy. If she doesn't take that hint, he could either move on or schedule again someday if he's hoping things will turn around. His call. I'd avoid drama by not mentioning it further- he's already tried to make his point and she didn't get it. No need to make a big fanfare. Just go quietly, or slowly and quietly if he prefers.

emember that you owe her nothing! My point is that I think you should tell her you are taking a break and/or moving on. She may say "F U", "I can fix this", "no prob" or "you owe me". Do what YOU want to do and don't feel obligated or be hurt by whatever her response is.

I'm serious. I've never seen that addressed here.

When you treat like people instead of based on what they do for a living, you get human response. Besides, what does it matter what you hear.  

Alex, I was also wondering if how do you know when you might need to take a reprieve from a certain "friend"?  What are the five signals that you might use when determining when you need to part company from a client?  Also how would you know when you might be getting to emotionally involved with a client as well? I just wanted to get a gage from a providers prospective because this subject would be a two way street.

To zero. And don't say shit, it never results in anything but a pissing match. You're only two weeks away from your next ATF at any given time, anyhow.

whatever will I do now?

-- Modified on 2/7/2015 6:52:23 PM

otherwise you're just a lyin' ass!

But if she ask, tell her that it's not like before and the play has become stale.  
If you still want to give her one more chance,she either do EXACTLY as you want or walk away.  
Like tell her 'lick my balls', 'twirl your tongue on my head', etc.  be very specific what you want.

I have never had expectations of a client once they leave my company...if they choose to book subsequent consultations and reap the rewards of my VIP Club - GREAT!  If they don't wish to repeat - SO BE IT!  Isn't the purpose of this hobby to give both companions and clients the opportunity to fully explore?   Happy exploring everyone

You were attractive to her as long as you spent  Then you experienced her when done using you. Did you endure full cost period sex without forewarning thus robbing the intimacy you required from only her, manipulative emails & texts to get you to pay for things...ie Birthday gifts?
Just let her go. She isn't worth it and there is nothing to salvage. You aren't available and she only wants $$$. Besides, you probably pushed your case and she didn't care.  The future with her is going to be a disappointment to you...let her go or you will suffer more grief and you don't deserve that kind of treatment. Reserve your caring ways for someone who can give back in the same way and it most likely won't be p4p

Maybe she's run out of tricks (Ha!) and just isn't naturally creative.  You could say, "Oh, I saw xyz, could we try something like that next time?"  

Look for providers who charge 320 roses for 2 hours sessions.  
I am sure there are providers out there who are affordable like that.  
Keep looking and you will find them.

-- Modified on 2/12/2015 2:56:54 PM