Do jekyll and hyde relationships (love/hate) between a provider and hobbyist work ? You know the them both hit it off good and for some reason one gets mad at the other and they break things off getting into arguments etc. Then they get back together again and repeat this process over and over again. Is either one manipulating the other for their benifit sex and/or money ? Sometimes a provider will continue to see hobbyist because he is a sucker sugar daddy (in reality she really can't stand him). Then when another guy comes along who looks better and has more cash she dumps him. He gets upset and then a war starts between both of them. She stops giving him references and yanks him off her white list referrals. He trashes her in the back channel.

Many guys don't realize this but there are many other guys who like to score points with a provider by telling her how people are trashing her. That is why providers will have the upper hand in the hobby. Like they say p*ssy is gold in the hobby, lol.

Personally if I get negative feedback from the provider or the chemisty is not right I don't go back begging for her. Life is to short to have unnecessary drama.

Lets discuss.

-- Modified on 5/14/2007 10:28:27 AM

but I had a very long term (ten plus years) favorite whom I terminated my relationship with about six months ago.

She was gorgeous, face and body, did everything and did it well.  She was a delightful person and I looked forward to seeing her every time I made an appointment.

The only problem is that she was very unreliable.  At least one in five times she would back out of a date, often without even contacting me.  Once she even left me high and dry for a trip to Florida with non-refundable tickets just hours before it was time to go.

I complained about this a lot and she always promised to get her act together, but the last time it happened and she made the same lame excuses and promised to make it up to me the next time, I decided enough was enough and said there's not going to be a next time.  

That was the last communication I had with her.

I'm proud of standing up for myself but I have to really admit that I miss her sorely.  Did I mention that she had a Scottish accent too?  (sigh)

and can't say that what you describe is typical of relationships I've had with providers.  A couple of civvies, yes, but not providers. Oddly, it's always been good.

I had to finally end my relationship with Brad Pitt. Angelina would never commit to a threesome, darn it!

Hugs,
ciara

IMHO, you really have to watch for those unguarded moments. Very few times can go after session after without breaking character. You'll see her or his facial expression as you turn away. When the session is over, she'll go directly to the mirror without saying anything. You ask him or her something intimate and you'll hear a bored tone in the voice. If you recognize that, don't fight about it, just leave. The chemistry or friendship are either there or their not. If you already begin to feel something by then, get away to protect yourself.

He used to talk about this incredible lady in Arizona all the time. Never made the connection before.

Are we the only hobbyists that don't understand that this is a business?  Yes, it's all about the fantasy of love and sex but it's still an f*cking business.  Guys with more testicular fortitude than us keep saying to stop getting involved with providers beyond the time you pay them for.  Get in, get out and get back to reality.

I have developed a few "friendships" (not relationships) in this hobby, but it is what it is. I wish more men would understand this. Gees!  It's like talking to 2-year olds.

I mean really . . . Is it me, or are these men in their 40s and 50s really whining babies? Did they not relieve themselves of their mother's breasts in time? Gees! I've had more things happen to me in my life, to include being brutally attacked and going to war as a veteran, and I don't bitch like they do. It's sad.

Now I know why I stopped posting. It's ludicrous and a waste of time.  No offense people, but at least I'm honest. You want this to be a fantasy but then some of you (not the person I'm responding to) bitch and moan about being ripped off, your heart broke, you met an ugly provider, she didn't give you two pops. Whatever! I'm going back to my personal life (and Yes, I have one). Thank you!  I know . . . it's late and I'm tired. What's everyone else's excuse?

Hugs,
ciara

-- Modified on 5/14/2007 10:27:26 PM

-- Modified on 5/14/2007 10:51:32 PM

-- Modified on 5/14/2007 11:01:41 PM

It would be so much better if the hobby always worked just the way it's supposed to.

-- Modified on 5/15/2007 12:01:07 AM

just the sound of her jawbone creaking with every movement because it's totally out of alignment after given her twenty-third blow job in the last eight and a half hours.

amen, dude. This nonsense of hey really love what they do/ maybe some providers get a kick(and some momentary sexual satisfaction) from providing, but in the end it is the money, the money they money. Part fo their busienss is to play a role. I have found the more expensive the girl, the better the act. But still, it is an act...on both our parts. I have tlaked to many women about this, overhwhelmingly confirmed.

beyond the physical needs of sex, there is definately an emotional need, and without it, guys like me would not invest all the time, money and risk to participate.

I think providers understand this (at least the good ones do) and nurture it.

In that respect, perhaps the best philosphy to adopt is that it's like golf, not that I play, but my father was an avid golfer.  He would say after a particularly brutal day on the links:  "It's too important to take seriously."

God grant me the grace to see things that way.

it is hobby, not a life, i find the whining to be a bit much also and then attacks.  As one who is piss poor in relationships i enjoy the hobby for what it is and the biggest compliment i can ever give imo is when i tell a provider, i wish u were my neighbor, b/c they are such a solid person

And it's a hard, demanding occupation. Alone, the stress of meeting somebody for the first time and getting intimate with him within an hour or two is more than I could imagine. I could think of a dozen more ordeals associated with it I will never go through. I hate flake outs as much as any guy, but I could see why there are so many first-time flakes. Especially when the guy is traveling to see a lady for the first time. The fear of not living up to expectations, then, and then getting a stinking review for it, that spoils business for the month.

So, unfortunate you went through a nightmare, darling! It does put the petty complaints into perspective.

Sometimes it's a kink. I don't shill, but I could cite an example here upon request.

But of the ones I could cite, falling in love would be out of the question, and doing so would absolutely prove insanity.

It's just that the hobbyist and the provider go into an arrangement not expecting anything. Then the hobbyist falls in love and then asks for advice on the board. There's nothing wrong with that, but we need to keep it in perspective.

I'm talking about when the little head is thinking for both the big and the little. Well, you know what I mean. And . . . I think you know that my experiences with men are not fake and there are connections, but from a provider's point of view, it's hard for some men to separate a great couple of hours of connection from wanting to date me and calling me all the time, or emailing me asking me for free time.
Try to look at it from our point of view. I certainly do with you guys, and I have to be intimate with a lot of gentlemen and make them feel special.

Hugs,
ciara

Actually, I only do this part time and never more than one a day. I like to feel like it's a date. So . . . you see guys: I'm not a cold-hearted b_ _ ch, but I am also a common-sense type of person on the board.  I think people get too involved in the hobby sometimes and it alters their thinking about everything.

Hugs,
Ciara

Glad you understood it.  You need to come out to Phoenix again. I miss you!

Hugs,
ciaa

Angelina and I were hitting it every night so she did not have the energy for a threesome...too bad we could have had a foursome.

for the same reasons.  She never missed a trip, but she started missing appointments, or showing up an hour or two late...lame excuses.  I just decided that she was not that into me anymore, found a guy with more money I guess...LOL.  So I just did not call anymore.  She called me once or twice and I told her my reasons...never saw her again.  I still miss her from time to time because she did it all and very well and was very sweet, when she showed up...LOL. I decided to just see quality providers when the itch got too strong and not worry about it.  I found out it cut down on my hobbying substantially.

I'm just trying to explain why things sometimes blow up for no apparent good reason.

We all deal with dynamite here and we need to handle things gingerly to avoid accidents.