: TER General Board Discussion : true and funny, but not original

martys47 11 Reviews 1523 reads

posted 10 years ago

1 / 16

It's nearly 3am and I can't sleep, so I will share with yall an analogy I came up with for explaining this hobby to my married friends.

Women are like cell phone plans. You basically have 2 choices, the long term contract or the pay as you go plan.

You can sign a long term contract (get married), and get a sexy new iphone (wife) to play with. There is a regular ongoing cost for this, monthly bill = buying shit to keep her happy and keep the pussy supply flowing. It is usually the cheaper option, but there are some drawbacks. What if quality of service declines? (Calls dropping = "I'm tired not tonight"). Can't switch to a better service provider. And what about several years later when you once sexy new iphone now old and slow compared to the latest shiny new model available now. And the new models do some appealing stuff that yours doesn't. At least with the phone contract you can probably get an upgrade to the nice new model. Can't get a new younger and hotter wife. Unless of course you break the contract (get divorced), but for that you get hit with a nasty early termination fee.

Let's now consider the other option, the pay as you go plan (escorts/hookers/whores). You pay for as much service as you use. The downside is this will end up costing more if you use a lot. But the advantages are significant. Quality of service declined? Rates keep going up? You're free to switch to another service provider at any time. The sexy new iphone was just released (new sexy hooker shows up in your city)? Go and get it with no penalty. Do that as much as you please, well as much as you can afford.

Whenever I explain this it usually gets some laughs as it is indeed a joke, followed by quietness as the guys realize just how true it is. Then all sorts of hobby related questions. Hopefully some of you enjoyed it

EroticRobbin 250 reads

posted 10 years ago

2 / 16

LOL...Brilliant Analogy +1 (eom)

Posted By: martys47

It's nearly 3am and I can't sleep, so I will share with yall an analogy I came up with for explaining this hobby to my married friends.

Women are like cell phone plans. You basically have 2 choices, the long term contract or the pay as you go plan.

You can sign a long term contract (get married), and get a sexy new iphone (wife) to play with. There is a regular ongoing cost for this, monthly bill = buying shit to keep her happy and keep the pussy supply flowing. It is usually the cheaper option, but there are some drawbacks. What if quality of service declines? (Calls dropping = "I'm tired not tonight"). Can't switch to a better service provider. And what about several years later when you once sexy new iphone now old and slow compared to the latest shiny new model available now. And the new models do some appealing stuff that yours doesn't. At least with the phone contract you can probably get an upgrade to the nice new model. Can't get a new younger and hotter wife. Unless of course you break the contract (get divorced), but for that you get hit with a nasty early termination fee.

Let's now consider the other option, the pay as you go plan (escorts/hookers/whores). You pay for as much service as you use. The downside is this will end up costing more if you use a lot. But the advantages are significant. Quality of service declined? Rates keep going up? You're free to switch to another service provider at any time. The sexy new iphone was just released (new sexy hooker shows up in your city)? Go and get it with no penalty. Do that as much as you please, well as much as you can afford.

Whenever I explain this it usually gets some laughs as it is indeed a joke, followed by quietness as the guys realize just how true it is. Then all sorts of hobby related questions. Hopefully some of you enjoyed it.

GaGambler 389 reads

posted 10 years ago

3 / 16

I didn't find it distasteful at all

but I didn't find it particularly funny either.

Sidney Starr See my TER Reviews 383 reads

posted 10 years ago

4 / 16

Re: Your call did not go thru. Please hang up & try again.

Posted By: RSage

Posted By: martys47

. . . it usually gets some laughs as it is indeed a joke, followed by quietness as the guys realize just how true it is.

I think you might be misinterpreting that quietness.

And I'm guessing at least some of the laughs are of that uneasy quality, the kind elicited when someone hears something so distasteful they're not quite sure what to do with it . . .

Lol your comment was funny.. Your call did not go through... Love it.

mrfisher 115 Reviews 405 reads

posted 10 years ago

5 / 16

You might say that the providers are like the smart phones....

They get the best of both worlds.

Wives are like hands free phones. They don't want you to touch them

Poundtrish See my TER Reviews 283 reads

posted 10 years ago

6 / 16

Absolutely very reasonable

END OF MESSAGE

emorf4077 69 Reviews 319 reads

posted 10 years ago

7 / 16

Wives are your land lines.

Providers are your mobiles.

emorf4077 69 Reviews 450 reads

posted 10 years ago

8 / 16

Women are like cars.

You can buy (marry), lease (date), or rent by the day (providers). Just because you bought a Toyota doesnt mean you cant rent a Lamborghini if the mood strikes!

Fancy8888 See my TER Reviews 250 reads

posted 10 years ago

9 / 16

Paid fantasies

Posted By: martys47

It's nearly 3am and I can't sleep, so I will share with yall an analogy I came up with for explaining this hobby to my married friends.

Women are like cell phone plans. You basically have 2 choices, the long term contract or the pay as you go plan.

You can sign a long term contract (get married), and get a sexy new iphone (wife) to play with. There is a regular ongoing cost for this, monthly bill = buying shit to keep her happy and keep the pussy supply flowing. It is usually the cheaper option, but there are some drawbacks. What if quality of service declines? (Calls dropping = "I'm tired not tonight"). Can't switch to a better service provider. And what about several years later when you once sexy new iphone now old and slow compared to the latest shiny new model available now. And the new models do some appealing stuff that yours doesn't. At least with the phone contract you can probably get an upgrade to the nice new model. Can't get a new younger and hotter wife. Unless of course you break the contract (get divorced), but for that you get hit with a nasty early termination fee.

Let's now consider the other option, the pay as you go plan (escorts/hookers/whores). You pay for as much service as you use. The downside is this will end up costing more if you use a lot. But the advantages are significant. Quality of service declined? Rates keep going up? You're free to switch to another service provider at any time. The sexy new iphone was just released (new sexy hooker shows up in your city)? Go and get it with no penalty. Do that as much as you please, well as much as you can afford.

Whenever I explain this it usually gets some laughs as it is indeed a joke, followed by quietness as the guys realize just how true it is. Then all sorts of hobby related questions. Hopefully some of you enjoyed it.

wholewheelofchz 6 Reviews 275 reads

posted 10 years ago

10 / 16

So, Sasha would be T-Mobile? (e)

END OF MESSAGE

sasha2cute See my TER Reviews 281 reads

posted 10 years ago

11 / 16

*peeing my pants* 😄

END OF MESSAGE

JakeFromStateFarm 251 reads

posted 10 years ago

12 / 16

You may be cheesy, but you're funny. eom

END OF MESSAGE

Fancy8888 See my TER Reviews 366 reads

posted 10 years ago

13 / 16

Hourly rates more than cell phone plan.

Posted By: martys47

It's nearly 3am and I can't sleep, so I will share with yall an analogy I came up with for explaining this hobby to my married friends.

Women are like cell phone plans. You basically have 2 choices, the long term contract or the pay as you go plan.

You can sign a long term contract (get married), and get a sexy new iphone (wife) to play with. There is a regular ongoing cost for this, monthly bill = buying shit to keep her happy and keep the pussy supply flowing. It is usually the cheaper option, but there are some drawbacks. What if quality of service declines? (Calls dropping = "I'm tired not tonight"). Can't switch to a better service provider. And what about several years later when you once sexy new iphone now old and slow compared to the latest shiny new model available now. And the new models do some appealing stuff that yours doesn't. At least with the phone contract you can probably get an upgrade to the nice new model. Can't get a new younger and hotter wife. Unless of course you break the contract (get divorced), but for that you get hit with a nasty early termination fee.

Let's now consider the other option, the pay as you go plan (escorts/hookers/whores). You pay for as much service as you use. The downside is this will end up costing more if you use a lot. But the advantages are significant. Quality of service declined? Rates keep going up? You're free to switch to another service provider at any time. The sexy new iphone was just released (new sexy hooker shows up in your city)? Go and get it with no penalty. Do that as much as you please, well as much as you can afford.

Whenever I explain this it usually gets some laughs as it is indeed a joke, followed by quietness as the guys realize just how true it is. Then all sorts of hobby related questions. Hopefully some of you enjoyed it.

GaGambler 282 reads

posted 10 years ago

14 / 16

Somehow I doubt he has the balls to tell that "joke" in front of the wives

and I forgot to mention that while I didn't find his little "joke" particularly funny, I did find your comeback much funnier.

ABC1234qq 23 Reviews 229 reads

posted 10 years ago

15 / 16

Now if only hands free mute

Now if only hands fee mute worked better for both cell phone options..and the do not disturb button was a given unless it was time to initiate a call...)

octavia.lexa See my TER Reviews 426 reads

posted 10 years ago

16 / 16

true and funny, but not original

i have read similar analogy before somewhere

#sorryaboutit