so all we have to go by are any isolated cases that we know of in our personal lives, or that get cited on here.
I met a gal in the hobby over ten years ago, and we got married about two years ago, and still going strong.
What you describe is more of a fling, I'd say (Not that there's anything wrong with them.), and like most flings, they have a shelf life of about 6 months to a year.
I know of at least 3 other serious romantic liaisons that were reported on here in one way or another over the last ten years that didn't pan out so well. Like I said, this hardly constitutes a rigorous study, but if I had to hazard a guess, I'd say that meeting someone in the hobby probably has a lower success rate for a LTR than in civie society
Great answer. I have always wondered that. Congratulations on your marriage. You guys would be consider unicorns I bet.
Does she still provide and do you still see other providers?
So yes this is a pay for play hobby but I found some really good lady providers friends too.
Posted By: mrfisher
so all we have to go by are any isolated cases that we know of in our personal lives, or that get cited on here.
I met a gal in the hobby over ten years ago, and we got married about two years ago, and still going strong.
What you describe is more of a fling, I'd say (Not that there's anything wrong with them.), and like most flings, they have a shelf life of about 6 months to a year.
I know of at least 3 other serious romantic liaisons that were reported on here in one way or another over the last ten years that didn't pan out so well. Like I said, this hardly constitutes a rigorous study, but if I had to hazard a guess, I'd say that meeting someone in the hobby probably has a lower success rate for a LTR than in civie society.
Is the relationship completely open?
serious romantic relationships. We first met 18 months ago and became romantically involved 15 months ago. I'm not going to pretend and say we've not had our share of challenges but we continue to work on them.
I'm sure I'm going to receive some blowback from others about falling for a provider, but it does happen
I have had several LTR's with providers without getting any blowback from the peanut gallery.
The guys that get blowback are the guys who come on the board either mooning over some hooker they are secretly or not so secretly in love with, or the guys who "think" they are in love, or that the provider is in love with him while she is still happily taking his money for each and every session. I don't recall you ever doing anything like this, which is why I doubt you are going to get any blowback for being involved with a woman who does sex work.
Dating an active provider has it's challenges, but I look back pleasantly on almost every "real" relationship I have had with a hooker. I will also say the breakups have been a lot less drama filled than my breakups with women who did something else for a living.
Funny, of all the folks here it was you I expected to receive the most from. Was I concerned about it? Absolutely not. I'm my own man. I certainly don't live my life based on the opinions of others.
I learned quickly that this was a world that emotionally attachment is left outside the hotel room door. That worked for me perfectly and why I entered it and enjoyed it.
I would agree 100% with your statement that it's not easy and has it challenges. But what relationship doesn't.
I give people a lot more grief for whining about shit than the decisions that grown ass people make in their personal lives.
I agree that all relationships have challenges, dating an active provider just has it's own unique set of them. Personally in the several relationships I have had with providers, the challenges seemed worth it at the time and even with the benefit of hindsight, they were still worth it.
never wandered into the love arena in the hobby, by conscious choice. whenever i start to develop feelings above and beyond the parameters of the client/provider relationship, i purposely stop seeing the lady and see others to replace those feelings. i figure nothing but madness lies that way. but congrats to mr. fisher on his success story.
that being said, i have met some wonderful people who have done some great favors for me otc beyond p4p. not romantic relationships, so it may not be pertinent, but i do consider them close to friendships (as close as i get to friendships, which is not that close).
I don't know if you can quantify how successful some of these relationships are. One thing you can do is make sure it is love and not lust and make sure you are compatible outside of sex. Jealousy obviously can creep in, as long as the two of you are honest with one another from that point on. There are two facts, one is that you are a provider, and the second is that he sees providers. If a relationship were to blossom out of this, the two of you would need to be open about that, should you continue to provide, and if he were to continue to see providers, although I see no reason for him to continue to shell out money to see someone when and if he were seeing you. The best way, and for his peace of mind, is for you to make that decision. Men are weird that way, so its like if you said "I don't want to continue providing" then that would sit better with him than him demanding you stop, because that would to him seem like you really didn't want to and just did it to please him, which is the same thing, just played out differently lol, see what i mean, weird. I have heard plenty of stories of couples meeting in this business and continuing to have an open relationship. To each his own, I just hope you're happy either way.
One of the things I will say is dead on is that while I would prefer she stop, I wont demand it. It has to be of her own free will. We've discussed and we both know each other's perspective.
Jealousy will definitely cause some riffs if allowed to fester. Yes, as a man I'm not thrilled about this, she doesn't have to. But I love her for the person within and not the persona some may meet.
As for me, I've seen a few ladies, but she's aware. She understands the why;I wont elaborate. However, I have made a conscience decision to stop. I believe she has also decided to start walking away as well. That is a decision I leave for her to make.
Like Mr. Fischer said, there's no way to know other than personal anecdotes. I've heard of quite a few hobby relationships over the years. Most don't last. One atf came back after a 5 year absence, her relationship having broken up. Of course out in the west the famous jealous murder of a provider ended badly when she didn't want to stop for him. It went deeper than that. My own romantic relationships (tons of otc) all ended, as they are prone to do. Currently, from my own personal knowledge, there are still two active relationships going on. A marriage of under a year, and a marriage of over 3 years.
I think a hobby relationship already carries a couple of strikes going in, making them susceptible to failure. One, and this is pure speculation, each person in a relationship wants to believe that they are the only, and best lover. With so many known hobby experiences on both parts, that's impossible. And two, we're all half crazed here, and can't be easy to live with. We're really really good at one to two hour relationships, but any more than that, and our crazed side surfaces. Hey, I know how hard it is to live with me.
Who took a "break" because she was in a relationship, but now she's back and the relationship is history. Most romantic relationships don't last. A provider and a hobbyist already have a tough time unless they have an "open" relationship, which comes with its own set of issues.
it happens a lot but what do you mean by successful? Marriage?
Most relationships change/end over time.
I think its the people looking for a relationship that if they find it it ends horribly
The rule was he could hobby as long as she was providing. They quit on the same day and never looked back. They seem very happy and eight years is a good marriage. I know civilians who haven't made it through an eight year marriage.
They always tell me if you are open and honest with each other it could work.
Posted By: RoxanneHeartNYC
hobby? I often wonder that, especially when providers I know developed a relationship (Romantically) with one of their clients? I mean you have to figure that the minute you start spending all this free time together that he will never pay for your time again and you also have to consider that sooner or later if it gets really serious he's going to want her to stop.
Thoughts?
but relationships that start through the hobby have a better understanding of sexual needs. It would be tempting to say "It won't work" but that would not be fair to those who want to give love a chance & go in with their eyes open. I know of several who later came back after relationships. But I will not judge them nor do I know how & why their relationship ended.
There are enough reports of relationships that we can not say "never". There are many providers who are in relationships. We don't know how they met.
Posted By: RoxanneHeartNYC
hobby? I often wonder that, especially when providers I know developed a relationship (Romantically) with one of their clients? I mean you have to figure that the minute you start spending all this free time together that he will never pay for your time again and you also have to consider that sooner or later if it gets really serious he's going to want her to stop.
Thoughts?
Not to sound condescending, but you really need to work on fundamental life skills. Writing being one of them.
Hey Fancy666, er, I mean, 8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888888, have you considered taking some classes in English, typing, and etiquette?
none of them lasted , and as i mentioned before once you take it to the next level, you cannot go back to simple p4p, but with both of them i still have strong friendships with, and i know i can trust them 100% if i need help or advise with anything...
i think i'm already in love with you octavia and we haven't even met!
I had a 6 month "relationship" with a provider. We saw each other off the clock once a week. No drama at all.
And the girl was REALLY poor at math. LOL
Generally speaking, people in a "relationship" tend not to place it in quotes and it would look more like this:
relationship
Do you recognize it? 
Posted By: RoxanneHeartNYC
hobby? I often wonder that, especially when providers I know developed a relationship (Romantically) with one of their clients? I mean you have to figure that the minute you start spending all this free time together that he will never pay for your time again and you also have to consider that sooner or later if it gets really serious he's going to want her to stop.
Thoughts?
whether to persevere down the road oft traveled and the outcome will eventually turn out the same way.
To answer your question, yes I have known a few ladies whose "prince charming" swooped them up and reportedly they are living 'happily ever after' to the best of my knowledge.
They too met their husbands 'on the job' and they worked it out for her to stop working. Ladies in this business and gents all have a heart they guide them, who's to say the feelings stop after the door closes and locks behind them? We are all brought up with different mores and values and it all lead us to down the same path for a chance meeting. Our emotions controls most of what we do instead of it being planned and measured out for us. Meeting with a gent or a lady numerous times, it is near impossible to not feel a twinge of feeling for them. The real question is not what is felt, but is it a 'real' emotion both sides agree and sought out perfectly synced together in a perfect storm of convoluted events to befallen the pair.
Would 'love' stand the test of time and persevere to preserve the promises proposed in a preponderance of proportional proportions?
This question has been asked about more than once in recent memory and have been answered by some familiar handles too.
If your friend want to travel down the path of being in a relationship it would not be the first time, nor the last time this topic being brought to the forefront of this board.
weekly, 1 hour at a time.
I met a man here. He's happily divorced as a result. Stuck in a sad marriage for 23 years until he met me. We aren't getting married but we are close friends. He thanks me for saving his life and I thank him for saving my 401K. It's a mutually beneficial relationship with no strings attached.
