TER General Board

Too chatty
transcend2007 9 Reviews 2289 reads
posted

I had an unusual experience recently.  I met with perhaps the most beautiful provider that I have seen to date.  However, she was just would not stop talking (almost the entire time).  She was a very sweet attractive girl but she nearly drove me over the edge.  The last thing I wanted was to make her feel bad, be condescending or get things off on the wrong vibe.

Hey, I enjoy a great conversation more than most but this was ridiculous.  It's great to start out getting to know each other, but once BCD you expect things to quite down and get down to business.  I offered to give her a massage which she accepted.  Once I got started I requested that she just relax and enjoy (I did not want to be rude by saying please be quite but I did thought she would take the hint - as I even asked her to lay on her stomach and looking straight down so her month was directly turned towards the bed).  Well, let's just say even that did not work and she kept chatting away (most about her boyfriend no less).  It made it hard for me to concentrate and I got the impression she was not into me or my massage (which hey I can understand that perhaps she did not feel much chemistry but at least I would have appreciated her making an effort).

Well she returned the massage favor while continuing to blab so I finally turned over and was so thankful when she saw that I was ready and began a BBBJ (which is when the talking finally ended).  The rest of the session went fine (in fact she was exceptional) but on the way home all I could remember was the talk, talk, talking.

Guys (or ladies), have you ever experienced this?  Ladies (or guys) was there something I could have said or done earlier without being rude but would have gotten me the result I wanted?  I was trying so hard not to be disrespectful (and stay positive) that it ended up affecting the way I felt about her overall performance.

chitownswede870 reads

Gees, I could have written what transend2007 wrote about MY most recent provider. She completley thru off my excitment. Please know when to shut up. This last experience brought a new meaning to TFGE for me.

AnyOneNormalAnymore735 reads

What does TFGE stand for ?

perhaps it's TGFE, "Talking GirlFriend Experience"

Yes.  Like you, I didn't want to be rude to the girl and I tried to make the best of it.  In the end, we said our goodbyes and that's the last I saw of her.

Your reaction is right on.... it's tough to get into a session if all she talks about is her boyfriend.  The only thing I could do to shut her up was stuff something into her mouth.

lol... shove something into her mouth perfect, I do that to the ex girlfriend when she insists on coming around. ;p

-M

Sometimes this can be a lonely life for providers-
Did she have reviews that said the same  ?

Its apparent she wasnt chatting to waste time, you said the remainder of the session went well.
Sometimes girls will talk on cause they are lonely .

She sounds young too..

I get the same with men - I simply tell them, Shut up, lay back :)

Also, seems as if you see mostly agency girls.if she is an agency girl, perhaps tell the owner he/she should rename her Chatty Cathy.. :) Im sure it will stop then





-- Modified on 1/24/2008 9:09:58 PM

AnyOneNormalAnymore522 reads

This is why I always book 2 or more hours. It gives the provider enough time to talk. Amazing the hobby intel you pick up just listening.

We should all just shut up - but then - we'd get the ' Not very friendly ' review.. hahah

if a man wanted to sit around and talk for hours about nothing- he could sit at home with his wife LOL

Some people dont have the hobby budget for 2 hours ( I know, then they should find a new hobby)BUT, Someone will tell her eventually , or review her as too chatty...

It was a two hour session.  Sorry I forgot to mention that...lol

You are exactly right Ciara.

I'm ok with 15 minutes of talking, settles the nerves. In Transcends case it was excessive.

-M

Look deep into her eyes, holding her face. Slowly smile as you bring your finger up to her mouth and lightly touch her lips. Lean in for a delicious kiss, taking your time and give her a long slow lingering kiss.

If that doesn't work, try a ball gag :) (j/k).

b-

For me personally, I'd like to be told. Constructive  criticism is welcome in my eyes simply because I know some people I'm seeing just might know some things I don't: after all they are men and I am not and they have probably been having sex for longer than I've been alive...they might know a thing or two about what they prefer.

In this particular situation, just telling her you're a more action, less talk kinda guy shouldn't bristle any feathers. Providers are some tough cookies. Who knows, maybe she had seen somebody the day before who posted a review saying she was too quiet? Or maybe she never saw that scene in Pulp Fiction where Uma talks about sitting in silence together?

NOT_VERY_BRIGHT486 reads

I can relate to the feeling you describe. I get it almost every time I read one of your posts.

It sounds like she wanted to talk to someone about herself... she just may be a little lonely.

As for myself, I always like to have a little get to know you chatting during an appointment so I feel more comfortable with a gent and to feel him out and see what he's like. However, once the action starts it's on! hehe. Then again, I don't have a boyfriend to chatter on endlessly about.

Katie

Well,

Your smart Katie, I'm sure it would be fun to talk to you a bit before hand...in her case though; sounds like she had nothing to offer conversationally, and we do book because we are horny (at least in part..) Once touching goes on the talker needs to go off..unless it's sexually enhancing the moment.

-M

lady that continued to talk during BBBJ.  I Know!  Suck, Suck, So as I was Saying....Drove me insane.

Of course there have been times where I talked a lot and missed out on some incredible action because I enjoyed the conversation and the mental connection so much.

Sometimes you have to be a little blunt and say exactly what you want.  Sometimes you have to listen to her stories to get to her wanting to please you...the TRUE GFE.

My advice would be to stop engaging the conversation and start caressing or even kissing her to move things along.  

Failing that, say something charming like..."My Dick is hard, can we fuck already?"...lol...yeah that will get you a good session...lol.

No don't do that.  

Just say that you are ready to move things along and see if she agrees.  If she is a true pro, even if she has an emotional need to continue talking, she will likely move things along.

Best of luck and remember...sometimes the wait makes the magic all that much stronger...especially if she feels you care and you gave her the concern and compassion she needed.

Best of Luck!

throughout the date. I love hearing about a lady's travels, hobbys, interests, etc.  I usually initiate with a few questions to ascertain her comfort level in sharing various areas. And if nothing else, talking about sexual physiology seems to get a good response. I have yet to come out of a date thinking someone was too 'chatty'. (Although maybe they thought that of me! Hope not.)

If I did find the conversation going to a topic I would rather not hear about, I would probably suggest that we try certain breathing techniques during our 'activity' that I know heighten the experience, and can't be done well while talking.

I like the longer date timeframes (2-4 hours) and of that, 'action' may only be 30-60 minutes, but I so enjoy them due to the conversations we share. It's a nice feeling when you hit upon a topic a lady really enjoys and you can see the sparkle in her eyes as she shares. :-)


-- Modified on 1/25/2008 7:29:19 AM

As been mentioned previously, she might have been lonely, or possibly nervous, or both. Like the Prof. mentioned, is there a way to reduce her anxiety before recommending that she tops talking or reporting it to others outside of the session.

Now, will that help with the loneliness or the nervousness??? Afterall, I'm just wanting to be helpful (lol).

P.S. I do like those 8 in. heels.

-- Modified on 1/25/2008 9:20:59 AM

Thankfully she did stick something in her mouth without any prompting which as said is when the talking finally subsided.  I would have just preferred for her to stop a bit earlier was my point.

But as usual some excellent ideas were offered for next time.  I especially liked the finger to the lips followed by a kiss technique as well as the let's concentrate on your breathing without talking idea.  Both of those would have worked great without having been disrespectful or rude.







-- Modified on 1/25/2008 9:39:16 AM

It can feel counter-intuitive, but often just naming the source of her anxiety can be helpful. Say if she is talking about person X and what s/he is doing, just saying, "sounds like what person X is doing is causing you allot of (anxiety, fearfulness, nervousness, etc.) Her hearing that someone else gets it can reduce her need to verbalize it. However, it does not always work. Time to go to plan B, C or D. But, I find it quite amazing how often it does work, and makes for a better time together.

-- Modified on 1/25/2008 9:47:32 AM

-- Modified on 1/25/2008 9:52:34 AM

I had one lady that would stop mid-BJ to finish a thought.  Talk about maddening.

I think there are only a very few times to stop mid-bj to say something. One would be FIRE!!!

Apparently, you'd be incorrect, although I agree with the sentiments.

marry me. lol. You need to visit la ;)

We'll, they would get us pretty close to being on the level. I'm 5'9."

In the porn indusrty the perfect solution to this is.....
stick a dick in her mouth.....(wink)
she can't keep talking then....,.
happy hobbing....
kisses
Stunning summer

Let me say "Used to be" as in "prior".  I'm glad I'm outgoing now. I have no problem telling someone if they're talking too much. I actually love to hear someone talk, especially during the act, but it can be overbearing too.

Just politely tell your provider, "Honey, you are the fantasy I've always dreamed of, but I need to focus on your outer beauty too."  Then smile and cutely say, "Be quiet and give me a kiss." If she doesn't catch on, then be more frank with her and say, "Hon, I absolutely adore the fact that you're so open and honest and please don't take this personally, but I'm on the phone all day with my job, so sometimes I just need passion and not a lot of talk. It's not your fault, but can we have some quiet make-out time?"  If that doesn't work, play tie-up (if she's willing to) and make sure you place a scarf over her mouth. Of course, then she'll think you are a naughty boy. :)

Hugs,
Ciara

Sounds like great advice, and oh so smooth. I'm going to trying and remember those lines. Actually, sounds like something worth trying with SO's, after coming home from a hard days work.

Actually, you're right, that might work great for an SO.

Hugs,
Ciara

Good luck with that. Let us know how it works out.

I think I'm picking up on some skepticism between the lines. Now, what little courage I had has been crushed! (lol). If I do regain my courage I'll let you know how it goes.

Going out on a limb. I look at everything from a 'sales' point of view, as that's been my proffesion for a number of years. Basically she is the sales person and your the purchaser.

By talking more 'on the clock' she can go ahead and have to do less 'actual work' This has happened to me before with providers also. Also there are some girls that are just 'chatty' from their reviews, and I tried to avoid those.

She is in esscence 'filabustering' mostly because she isn't attracted to you, or you look like a nice guy. This happens in dating also, and anytime a girl mentions her 'boyfriend' in any setting she generally wants little to do with you (sometimes it's over physical attraction more commonly -- a purposeful distancing.. in this case she can only delay not deter because she agreed to provide..) I know because I've been lassoed into the friend category more than I've banged providers. (which is a lot.)

I'd just not see her again, and be proffiesional and kind on the review, but PLEASE mention the chatty cathy crap, it's awful. IF you desire intelligent conversation (I could care less) that is understandable, but if a girl is blabbing about her boyfriend and cat, we can get that for free.

Sadly there is no way to know if a girl will treat you like this due to YMMV, if you stick with 8-9-10's I'd say your odds are much lower.

-M

kingnick304 reads

I met a provider with 2 of my navy buddies and she went into the get down and do us all part of the session with out a lot of chit chat. I wish she would have hung out with us for 5 or 10 minutes so I could have got to know what she was all about.
My buddy got right into along with her where I had a hard time keeping it up because my buddies were there I didn't really know what I could do or not.
I guess each experience is different for everyone.I agree too much chit chat would probably have the same effect on me.
To each there own!

but rather what is chatted about.

I prefer to have someone who enjoys carrying on a conversation about topics like their day job, or even politics or philosopy and interesting kinds of topics, rather than someone who is so closed mouth that you're not sure what's going on with them.   However here are some subjects to completely avoid:

Problems with your SO and/or other family members.
Play by play descriptions about your operation.
Your legal problems.
Your financial problems.
Your drug addiction.

In short, anything that may cause the little man to want to retreat into a hole.

This is especially true on a first date.  After a while when we get to know you, then some of these topics may be more appropriate.

meettheman253 reads

Never that experience. But I tend to be the chatty one. Not one for walking through the door ripping clothes off and throwing her over my shoulders. My regular provider sits and talks with me for a time to catch up with what is going on and then without warning simply says that's all interesting but I've waited for a week (or whatever) to be with you and grabs me by the hand and pulls me to the bedroom, or if early in the morning she only wears a robe and simply steps in front of me, opens it and pulls my face to a certain part of her for breakfast - shuts me up fast.  There was one time she needed to talk and I was understanding and another when she had her period and was closed. Each time, though there was no sex was very meaningful and special. We each actually think of it as some of the best time we've had together.

As for TGFE, my interpretation would be Total GFE - now admittedly, you could have someone bitching at you for an hour and it would really be a TGFE.

Register Now!