There was REAL situation where a provider had a hobbyist who was recommended by a friend take her photos for "TRADE". She offered to TRADE that night but he declined. She offered a couple other times and he declined. When she FINALLY had time to "trade" she got a call to MAKE SOME MONEY so she took it. He said he understood since his was only for "trade" he said she needed to make some money and they'd make it "trade" later that night. Well due to cicustances beyond her control she was unable to "trade" that night. So he finally LOST IT and posted A TOTAL LIE ON A LOCAL BOARD ABOUT HER that RUINED her business. He did not write THE TRUTH on the board that it was for TRADE and that she had offered to trade several times before and HE declined. He threw a complete HISSY FIT and WHINED and COMPLAINED like a two year old! Now she has to move out of the State now because he LIED on the boards and ruined her reputation in her town.

MY question is this was for TRADE! Is that considered a REAL appointment? She offered him "trade" a couple of times and he declined, is that her fault that when SHE finally declined he LOST IT and trashed her on the boards?

He had also threatened to write a FAKE RIP OFF REVIEW and post it on the boards but he didnt because "that would be a lie".
Now when I see ladies complaining about fake reviews I understand because the guys on the board have waaaaay too much power. they can lie all they want and the poor girl has no recourse. He ruined her reputation with ONE POST. that's scary.

It is better to pay on both ends. No confusion or misunderstandings.

I would be interested in more information on this if you would like to email me.  [email protected]

-- Staff

Staff, I would be HAPPY to tell you everything!

If he had already done the photo's for her, then he had essentially pre-paid for the service, and she should not have blown him off for a cash deal.  

Of course, that doesn't forgive lies or a false review, but one post in this community is hardly reputation ruining.

Sounds like there is a lot to this story that we aren't in on.

I would state more strongly the case against lies, flames, and false reviews.  That is reprehensible and can't be justified under any circumstances.  If this proves to be the case (and I guess that's what Staff is looking into) the guy should be banned from TER with a statement on the board as to why he's banned.

That said, the first sentence is 100% correct.  Since I know nothing about the provider, I make no assumption about whether this was done cynically or innocently.  But it was at best poor judgement.  The "trade" deal was the moral and logical equivalent of a cash debt.  If it was my money, and someone, especially a relative stranger, told me "sorry, I have to get to this wonderful sale at Nieman Marucus.  I'll pay you next week", I would be seriously pissed.

Finally, I too was puzzled at how a single post could so ruin her reputation that she had to flee.  Unless he outed her real name or some such.  If that's the case, it's unfortunately impossible to give him what he deserves.

again, new ladies are vulnerable because of lack of reviews.  

For those members who chose not to post reviews, please think long and hard about your decision.  Reviews are getting more and more important in this hobby as there are simply too many rip-offs out there and the cynicism is rampant.

Not a question of trading but timing. The arrangement you described was so open ended, so undefined as  to where when how etc. , that it was destined to lead to disagreement.

transaction that has terms that requires "something" to happen some time in the future is  more likely to result in disagreement than those transactions which require immediate exchange.

Yes, she was NEW to the internet (that is why she needed photos)
She has no reviews. When I say this is a small community, I mean THIS COMMUNTITY, the one on the net. Everyone knows everyone else. And if we dont know them personally we know "of" them. I find it quaint that you gentlemen dont realize how much power you have. Too many "bad" reviews and the girl can just pack it up. i want to keep stressing that he had two chances to take her up on her trade and he didnt do it for whatever reason.

But THANK YOU (sincerely) for answering the actual questin which was "is a Trade the same as a REAL appointment?" i see that it is. My frustration lies in the fact that he had two chances to make the trade and he declined, then when she did exactly what he did to her (decline) the thrid time he "lost it". Since then she hasnt gotten one call. She needs to leave town because if her phone doesnt ring she might as well work at a fast food place or something, and she feels that no matter what name she comes out under he will say bad things about her on the net out of spite. He says he's not mad anymore but the damage is already done, her name is already smeared in her local area. If its written on the boards that she is unreliable (thats not true) before she even gets a review she can just hang it up. The National Board is not the same as the local boards where everyone knows everyone. i think most boards dont have this kind of problem. maybe I'm over reacting, i just know her phone isnt ringing since that post. Of course there is a little more to this, but i dont want to do to him what he did to her on the boards.

I am still not sure about this whole one post ruined her business - if she was new to the net and didn't have any reviews, what business did she actually have to begin with?  I'm not saying what he did was right but I think blaming his one bad review for the demise of her business is way exaggerated.  

Surely there must be another means for her to establish herself - she could work with another provider that knows her and is willing to help her get established.  How about a couple of months, this provider turns a client or two on to this new girl so that she can get a couple of legitimate reviews done.  Maybe a discount or a two girl opportunity is the solution as well.  Most of us are clever enough to know that if a provider has a couple of good reviews and one that is really awful that its more likely that the bad one was posted in spite.  Sure some will think just the opposite but its a tough world out there.  

That's my $.02 and I am now officially stepping down from my soapbox.

I think in general, TER members are quite fair in their dealings with ladies.  If she could come to the local board and clearly explained herself as in the case of Erotic Brooke in LA board, I think some members will give her another look that in time would counter whoever her accuser is.

Doing nothing is simply not an option.  We all understand stress and mistakes.  The important thing for her is not to make counter accusations but just ask others to giver her another chance to prove herself.  You will be surprised at how powerful that argument is in situations like that.

Good luck to you friend.

I admit I'm a bit "culture shocked".  My experience with the SD local board is pretty similar to Spec's with LA.  Population here is near 2M, at least a few hundred providers, and thousands of clients, most of whom have probably never heard of TER or any other board.  Sounds like you're talking serious small town here.

The best possible outcome would be if they could "kiss and make up" on the board.  You say "He says he's not mad anymore".  Maybe he could be talked into posting a partial retraction.  Doesn't even have to admit he lied, just something like "hey, I way overreacted".  She confesses to having made a foolish decision on the spur of the moment and says she's learned better.

Even without his cooperation a mildly contrite post by her could work wonders.  Depending on exactly what he said she may have to set the record straight, but no question that bailing on the appointment to grab some quick cash was a mistake.

In the worst possible case, she's no worse off than she was before.

Hope this helps.   Good luck!