By the way, how much are you supposed to tip the female TSA pat-down people?

Went with a group of guys after work and a gal named Peaches rained her pussy juices down right on top of my head.

(I found out later it was beer.)

From that day on, every day I'd show up for work, everyone would ask me how Peaches is doing.

The naugtiest / outrageous things you ever did in a strip club

Last year I drank milk from a college-going 21year old's breast for 2 full hours in the private room in a strip club in NY.  She wanted the money desperately to pay for her tuition and I got the pleasure of tasting her warm milk.  Nothing beats drinking milk from those natural boobies.

Needless to say, it cost me 500 bucks for those 2 hours and a couple of trips to the bathroom to pee.  I also got to take her wet panty as a souvenir.

My date brought me to a world famous strip club in Tampa where every dancer has a perfect body and in their 20's. He paid for me to have as many ladies as I wanted and lined them up. My eyes were for only one and the show went on right in front of everyone. Yes, total nude lap dance with strangers sitting next to me watching and my gentleman friend standing to the side so he wouldn't miss a thing.

Let the show begin with her perfect naked body moving in suggestive motion all over me and kissing my neck and lips. I sure did pick the right lady as her fingers moved under my dress to find no panties. She smiled and said "may I". Need I say where she was going. Her fingers were playing to the beat of the music and my pussy moved them right on in and out. I think 4 to 6 songs passed with the 2 of us making out and my date getting an eyeful. When it was time to cum my hands also were pleasing this beautiful little lady and we both were soaked. We both laughed as the men were drooling and offered each others fingers to savour the moment and one last tongue kiss for show and tell. I think we got a standing ovation from the on lookers....LOL

Kisses Haley

Was she pregnant? I'm guessing not, as the sight of a pregnant woman dancing in a tit bar would not be an oversight. KUDOS!

A SF strip club that allowed on premises sex with dancers. Too much to go into here, but in the 80s thru 90s it was my home.

Re: The naugtiest / outrageous things you ever did in a strip club

I convinced my GF and her friend to strip for an amateur contest at the Vu that we'd only intended to watch. Somehow that doesn't seem as outrageous as it did at the time.

Back when I was dating one I'd show up to pick her up and a few tims we'd fuck around up on the couches but it wasn't anything too serious. That fucking place had cameras everywhere so we were always being slick about it.  

My most outrageous strip club story isn't something I actually did, just somethig me and my buddy instigated.

Me and some college friends were down in Daytona for spring break one year, sitting at the tip rail of some dive titty bar, next to this large, obnoxious guy who was clearly shit faced. I mean, given a breathalizer he might have blown a .35 he was so smashed.

We had him convinced that this girl on stage wanted him badly, desperately, and was just waiting for him to show her he had the balls to make a move. He was so animated and wild we just knew we'd get him to do some crazy shit.  

This fat, hairy, fuckwad stands up, tears off his shirt like Hulk Hogan, *rolls* onto the stage and starts shaking his fat ass and doing some uber-gay ass trying-to-be-sexy dance to the amazement of the poor girl on stage. Picture a half-naked fat man doing a Prince impersonation to techno music.  

She thought it was funny at first, even if she did seem a little ticked off, and the crowd was collectively turning blue in the face from lack of oxygen because we were all laughing so hard.

Then the fat man proceeded to drop his pants to reveal his dirty, holey, tighty-wighties and sucked the wind right out of the room. Ugh, gag me with a fucking spatula!

The poor stripper tried to run off the stage and almost fell right into the DJ booth, sent one of her 8 inch heels flying across the stage.

The first bouncer to try and get him off the stage was so tiny he didn't look like he could bounce Verne Troyer from a Merry-Go-Round. The fat man didn't budge, he grabbed the little bouncers hands like it was a game and attempted somthing that looked like a Special Olympics Waltz before the bouncer pulled away to regroup.  

I missed the next 60 seconds because I was flat on the floor crying my eyes out from hysterical laughter, but when I finally came up for air this fat sweaty hairball was holding his tighty-whities in hand and twirling them around over his head!

All the guys in the audience started backing away in crouched, defensive positions, like he was weilding a deadly weapon -  as if those filthy and probably rancid, tighty-wighties were to suddenly come flying towards someone it meant inevitable death.

The bouncers wouldn't even go near him, and the manager or owner who-ever-the-fuck was screaming at them to get his ass off the stage, and finally he ran up there himself and tackled the guy. The struggle that ensued resembled the hotel scene from Borat, in fact maybe Sacha Baron Cohen was in the crowd that night and that's where he got the idea. Who knows haha.  

We were all very proud of ourselves at the time for instigating that scene. Laughed about it for weeks afterward.  

This lady was either crazy and horny, a great marketer or (my guess) both.

They had these high back chairs for the lap dances (and a separate private room for longer sessions), and she had one of those mini-vibrators that looks like a keychain flashlight, and it did have a flashlight. We spent MANY lap dances (the ladies have to have bottoms on) with us using her vibrator, peeking at her pussy with the light, fingering and licking her pussy and her stroking my cock by putting her hands up the leg of my oversized shorts. I took her back to my hotel for a full session. Another lady here whipped my cock out and I was pretty sure she was going to hop on BB. I pretty well freaked and ended that romp pretty quickly.

I found a place in El Paso, a stones throw from the border, where the usual game of not getting caught breaking the rules just did not apply. They had a three song private room which was for $150 quickies. I hadn't quite figured out how liberal this place was until this one lady bent over in front of me, took my hand and stuffed my fingers in her pussy. Another lady there sat on my lap and asked me to put my thumb up her pussy. She ground one out at no charge.

I love first experiences in new places... and a club in the basement of my hotel in Greece provided quite the experience. Not knowing (or thinking) that rules might be different than they are here, I thought it was great that I could put my hands pretty much anywhere and then found that they can take out your junk without any problems.

My last one was in Thailand and was very memorable. It was a little hostess club in my hotel with private rooms meant for short strip sessions, which varied in quality/extent based on the girl you selected. Mostly it was a standard strip with the top coming off the first song and MAYBE the bottoms coming off by the third song. The girl I asked to see wasn't working but she pushed her cute little girlfriend at me (I don't think she was "working" either). As soon as we hit the room she stripped off everything and she had a hot little body. The thing that got me was when my hands found her pussy it was literally dripping wet. So much so she was embarrassed.

There was a club where the stripper would work her way from one guy to the next -- giving each one of them a chance to eat her and finger fuck her . . . . And on her break,  another $20 got you a blow job and a fuck in the bathroom.   Simple and plain,  but it's the hottest thing I've done.

Closest I got to that experience was a frisking by the TSA clown at the airport.  They get cranky when you decline the to go through the new equipment.  Also got to eat some really good Mexican food, but no pussy to be found.

Also a long time ago, I remember a place around the corner from Times Square, one flight up on a side street.  Big runway and seating area.  Gorgeous girls, who'd strut out, plop themselves in front of a guy and let him eat her.  It was like a cunnilingus buffet with continuous dining.  I was just a watcher at that point.  All these places were closed by Guiliani.
Another time, I recall a really sleazy titty bar just north of Mansfield, Ohio, that operated out of a building at a closed-down drive-in theater.  Some of the girls were very ordinary but one, who called herself Cherokee was a total fox; great tanned body and a really pretty face.  In the champagne room she went to work on my cock through my pants.  She'd press down with her lips and move them up and down along my cock, pressing hard enough so the material didn't move across her lips, but only against my cock. She was so persistent she left a clearly-defined lipstick mark of her lips right in the crotch of my pants.  I preserved the pants for the trip home and, knowing how hot this kind of thing makes my wife, showed them to her on my return.  She loved it and it led to some great marital fucking.

That's like not finding coffee in Seattle! I am losing faith in you my friend

I'll be sure to send all of you a postcard from Gitmo.

I remember the times square area in its hayday too. I did a few of those eating out lunches. One girl shot ping pong balls out her puss. Good times.

A couple of years back I went to a strip club in Toronto and enjoyed the company of a fabulous girl ( a 11/10 - Canadian, all natural, tall young brunette) .  She had the tiniest waist - something like a 22 and a 38 hips/butt.  She seemed so out of place as it was her first day working there and I was her first customer..  The chemistry was so intense that she gave me a blow job without a condom and rode me reverse cowboy style and I dug my fingers deep into her anus and tasted her.

Samantha was her name and she was a true knock out

She was not.  She was a single mom with a 3 month old baby and I sucked her breasts that never seemed to get empty.

My wife thanks you!  No, I haven't shared this with her.  But she did used to demand I tell her about every provider I spent time with.  It totally turned her on and she actually liked the idea I went to providers instead of the bar scene, because she felt (as I do) it's a much more honest transaction.  At this point we have an open marriage, so it's no big deal.  She's a really fine person and I love her very much.

BTW, this reminds me of the famous line (maybe from Cheech Marin): If God didn't want man to eat pussy, then why did he make it look like a taco?"

Reminds me that after my escape with Cherokee (cited above) my buddies would often start singing the song that went: "Cherokee people!  Cherokee tribe!"

Just wondering...are you the John Roberts who's the chief justice of the Supreme Court?

I was in a large (football) City.  It was early on a lazy Saturday afternoon and I strolled into one of my frequent haunts.  I must have picked a bad day as none of my favs were on hand.

An (almost) homely chick with a o.k. body came over and began pressing me to go to VIP.  She was really not my type but after she reached under the table and grabbed my crotch a couple of times, junior spoke up and said "aw, cmon dad" so against my better judgement off we went to the fun cave.

She got topless and began rubbing a nice set of boobies in my face.  I got the nipples in my mouth a couple of times so that was cool.  Next thing I knew she slid her hand up my pants leg (I was wearing shorts too - it was July) and in no time at all she had a nice grip on the (now not so) little guy.  Next thing I knew he was in her mouth and she was bobbing up and down to beat the band.  Quite a surprise - at least for me in a club environment - and next thing I knew I had shot a nice load down the back of her throat.  She licked her lips and then took a sip from the drink I had bought her so I know she swallowed.

She then proceeded to say that would be $$$ in additon to the dance fee.  I said sorry but I didn't ask and while I enjoyed - I would have gone another route if I was investing $$$.  Paid for the dance and threw down a modest bonus and I was out of there.

I suppose I should have felt guilty but first of all, I tried to send her away when she came to my table in the first place, I didn't ask for the bonus and I sure as hell wasn't going to give out an amount I would not have agreed to (with her) after the fact.

Was I wrong?

Back then, it was a kind of life ...

While waiting for the pat down, the TSA guy asked why I opted out.  I told him that I hoped to be fondled by the hottest female TSA person on duty.  Without missing a beat, he looked me square in the eye and said "sadly sir, that would be me".  Looking around, he may have been correct.

Tampa that was all nude.  I asked this particular hottie who had come over to sit with me if she wanted to go out back (it was after dark) to my conversion van.  Needless to say, we went out the door and around back and she performed more than a lap dance on the floor of my conversion van.

Actually, it was Clarence's hero, Long Dong Silver.

Re: The naugtiest / outrageous things you ever did in a strip club

Now THAT's a funny fuckin' story.  The only version I have involved drugs, not sex.  Anyway, a friend of mine was with his buddies in the outer boroughs of NYC decades ago and they were all tripping.  Then they went to a diner.  While sitting there, one of my friends buds starts telling him the owner of the diner thinks he's gay.  How evil is that?  My friend gets all intense about how he's NOT gay, as only the halucinating can.  He "friend" continues to incite him, saying, "C'mon, man, you've got to go over there and tell him YOU'RE NOT GAY!"  Finally, they all collapsed in laughter and only then did the poor guy realize they'd been pullin his chain.  Apologies for offering a story that had nothing to do with sex.  Consider it a sorbet between the main course and desert.

A few years ago when the economy was better, I took 2 girls in the back wasnt the first time so we where already aquainted.  1 is blowing me I am eating the other.  The 1 im eating says look you cant make me come i took some cold medicine and it stops me from coming, so after I realize she is right we switch positions and she blowing me and Im eating the other girl.  Shes going at it pretty good so I tap her on the head to stop her so we can go on the the next round.  She keeps going I tap her again she looks up like what??? I say I didnt take any cold medicine.  She gets the idea covers me up and back up onto junior while the other girls is trying to not lose her balance as she is standing on the couch squatting on my face.  We were all worn out by the end of that hour.

Dammit, that reminds me of PT's Showclub and a little blonde named Sam... fucking hot...

That's an awesome story. I want to do that! I wish TER had a "lactating" search parameter.

I was at a strip Club in Denver and I got coupons from the ATM. Yeah, this is an old school experience. I got a two-girl lap dance in the middle of the place where the girls were commenting that I had a stiffie.Boy did I ever!  It was near closing time, so I took off my shirt while they were on me. Then, I tossed all my coupons in the air, nearly $50 (after I had paid for the dances). I'm surprised that I didn't get tossed after that craziness. But, they didn't seem to mind and I put on my shirt and went home a little while later. Best time ever at a strip club!