Kiss 💋 keep it super simple  

 
If you had to go back and forth, like pulling teeth to get the booking information via email 📧 how many is too much before you just stop? 🛑  

I try to have patience, empathy, and consideration, but some people just don't understand that this is supposed to be fun & want to be difficult.  

As a woman who has a zero tolerance policy for time wasters I don't mind blocking someone who disrespects my time continuously.  

Please share your opinions. Thank you kindly.

Personally, you need to trust how it feels. And, this might not be the same number every time. If you are answering the same questions, trivial questions, inappropriate questions and/or if your potential client isn't providing what you are clearly asking for, it can get old and frustrating quickly. On the flip side, if they are reasonable questions, the client is providing what you are asking for, and/or what's being shared feel relevant, your threshold will be greater.

 
But if I had to pick a number, I would say if it reaches 5 before a booking, it's probably too much. I think 2 is the most I ever hit. That started with me having questions about her and or her services and they got answered. Then, I had to ask her what she needed for the booking information, since it was not specified in her ad. After she sent that, the next email had what she asked me to send.

Other than, perhaps, pre-screening, I see no reason to email other than request a meeting.

I don’t sweat stuff like this. As much correspondence as it takes to seal the deal .  

on the very first email.  I tell them the day and time I'm looking for to see if they are available.  If they are already booked, no need to do a second email.

I seldomly require deposits, so I’m strict on ensuring my time is respected from the beginning. All initial communication without requested booking details gets ignored/discarded. If theyre serious, they’ll try again correctly.

Im not a dentist.. I don’t pull teeth. The sooner info is sent and booking is complete, the sooner you get on our schedule. Read our page and include requested info in the FIRST message - if you have questions, add them. I love clients with personality, but pls no unnecessary back & forth.  

Agreed! No time wasters or fantasy bookers allowed. Time is not something we can get back. We already sort through lots of inquiries on top of having personal lives, see clients, update photos and ads, active on socials, etc. we have the right not to see anyone who is difficult or annoying.. It’s supposed to be a mutually enjoyable experience.

I mean, your body, your rules, and I am a big proponent of that, but a client can’t ask a question or two in the initial email before providing his verification? Ever? I would say 75% of the time, all the girl asks for is self contained in my first email/text correspondence to her, but there are times I may have a queston that she doesn’t cover on her website or ads.
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I think there is a legitimate difference between someone making sure they are compatible with your rules, availability, your deposit amount and method, etc.,, and someone else asking endless questions that go on for 4, 5, 6 emails, as QB is saying.
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Thinking back, I can’t ever remember a provider having any issues fielding a query or two as long as it’s concise, gives her the impression it’s a legitimate concern of mine, and gives her the feeling the info she needs to screen is almost certainley to follow in short order.

I interpreted the original post as sending booking details first, not screening. If a suitor doesn’t include a basic intro such as name, age, race, incall/outcall, session type, THEN add his questions I will not respond.  Sending “hi. where is your incall located?” (not only is mine already listed) but that’s not how a gentleman converses.. he introduces himself first. When a suitor doesn’t include basic details in his first message, it’s usually a sign they’re a Q&A time waster and Ive learned to ignore them.  

Sorry for the confusion, my response didn’t apply to providers who don’t cover basic details on their page, or require screening on the first message. In any case booking (start to finish) could be 3-6.

This reminds me of ads where the provider lists all the things that will get you blocked. That type of tone is an immediate pass for me. While I understand there are frustrating time wasters, you can’t carry that angry energy. Ads are meant to sell and I am not in the market for a lady who feels mad.

I'm guilty of this.  But, when I'm paying on the higher end I want to make sure all expectations are covered.  I don't get upset when a girls says, "let's set a date/time before we continue.". Getting confirmation from me is just as important.  So a polite interaction back and forth is good for both of us.  I want to know if I'm getting what I want and what in paying for it, she wants to know I'm serious, going to show, and pay for what was agreed upon.

You have the right to pass if you don’t feel there is an emotional fit (as do we). If you’re accusing me of being “angry” or “mad” then that puts you in the same category.  

Since you mentioned it.. none of my ads list behaviors or anything about getting blocked, and all my reviews applaud my energy and easy booking process. I even mentioned liking clients who show personality without dragging things out.. so what about it read as angry? Please see my follow up response - there was a misunderstanding.

What you are saying makes much more sense to me now. I appreciate the response Brielle!

As an experienced provider with a detailed website, you should be able to detect a potential time waster int he initial correspondence and quickly direct a potential client to a place where all his general questions are answered.

 
Perhaps if you redacted any personal info from an example recent excessive correspondence and posted it here, we could better provide opinions of where things went off the rails.  Your question is a bit too vague otherwise.

Totally agree with hehits. We’re all here for relaxed, straight and clear communication and just having some fun. The world’s already tough enough, anyone who brings unnecessary drama is a red flag.

Okay, yeah this makes perfect sense. I was in the same boat with Robert, misunderstanding your previous post. Thank you for sharing your perspective!

 
“A gentleman introduces himself first.”
I couldn’t agree more! That’s how I try to operate. A brief introduction, demonstrate I read the ad, a lil humor somewhere.  

 
The booking details you ask for in this post, and on your Tryst, are common sense IMO. I always include my name, age & race along with desired appointment date, time, location, duration and type in any initial correspondence with a provider.  

 
That’s all stuff that you shouldn’t have to ask for. I know a lot of goobers send out messages without any pertinent info, I’m sure that’s very irritating and wastes time.  

 
I thought you were expecting all necessary screening in the very first message. When PII is requested, I think that’s ridiculous. (Just my opinion)  
What if our availability doesn’t line up? Or she would rather not see me because of my age or weight or something? Now she has all that information and we’re not even going to meet. Silly.  

 
I don’t use a lady as a reference without first asking her if she’s okay with that and giving her a heads up about who’s going to be contacting her about me. In the above scenario, I would have also bothered my references for no reason if I’d sent all screening in first contact. (This is part of why P411 is so convenient, she can see who my references are without my bothering them.)

 
The way I see it is: let me introduce myself, give all the scheduling particulars and whatever screening I’m comfortable with sending into the void without really knowing if someone is on the other end. Get back to me with your availability; then if we both pass each other’s vibe check I’ll send the rest of the screening in my second email.  

 
Occasionally, I’ll see an ad that says “I will not discuss availability until all screening is completed”. (I know this isn’t you) I understand there’s a lot of time wasting morons out there that all you ladies have to deal with. I really wish that wasn’t so. But when I see that, I just move on. I’m guessing we won’t get along very well 🤷‍♂️

I did say reminds me of, so to be clear was not saying you’re angry. Since the OP said booking information, it was clear to me that this wasn’t about someone sending a lazy message. But I see in your clarification it wasn’t clear to you. Before you clarified, it reminded me of those type of ads because they’re focused on the negative interactions. While I can only imagine the BS providers deal with, you’re still running a business and need to put out positive energy. After all, the clients who are good seeds deserve to feel good vibes in return. And I am not accusing you of all of this either. It’s more so your initial response reminded me of focusing on the negative. That was it. I appreciate your clarification. And, I agree, lazy messages don’t warrant a response.

-- Modified on 5/29/2026 4:35:16 PM

For me when traveling to a new city booking may require a few more emails than when I am home. Due to my hobby it might require a three hour drive. I also drive a 3500 GMC Denial 4 door long bed that's needed for pulling my Toy Hauler RV. It doesn't come close to fitting in a standard parking lot space. So I usually ask about parking. At home I just jump in another smaller truck or car plus I know the expected traffic and  and slow downs. My point is for a traveling guy might have a few more questions vs a local guy.  

Agree on all your points! I won’t knock other providers methods, but personally I don’t understand or think it’s fair to require suitors send personal info or references until the booking has been accepted

(some suitors send it first on their own - that’s nice, but not an expectation.) If I don’t end up accepting it, I delete it or don’t contact references.

Honestly, if as a provider you can’t be bothered to read an intro or lock in a day/time first, hire an assistant or find other ways to spot time wasters early without being unreasonable. We’re the professionals for a reason.

LA may be the exception. Many women say they are in LA, but not exactly where in LA. And some go as far as saying LA when they are in the OC, Pasadena, or San Fernando Valley. Depending on day, time and location, LA traffic can make some places a 1-2 hour drive. Meanwhile, I have also found providers literally 5 minutes away. So, I often ask for a neighborhood before providing booking information. I have zero interest in driving an hour plus when I have plenty of options within 30 minutes.

I actually just lived a version of this recently, ironically with an avid forum user, and it reminded me that a lot of this friction is preventable. Not all of it but quite a lot of it.

 
The honest truth is that clients need to do their due diligence too. If you found the ad on Tryst, great. Does the provider have a website linked? Read it. Does she have a TER profile? Read that too. Does the TER profile have other links? Check those out. We can tell when you didn't read the website, didn't check the calendar, didn't look at the rate structure before asking about the rate structure. It's a little like showing up to a restaurant and asking the server what kind of food they serve. The menu is right there. It has always been right there.

 
Personally, I find that a well built booking form solves most of this before the conversation even starts. Mine captures date, time, duration, experience type, incall or outcall, and a prospective client can provide screening information all in one place. However, I also am acutely aware that sending all of that PII out into the ether on a first contact can feel... nerve wracking. So, even on my form, clients can stipulate that they'd prefer to submit their screening as a secondary step over email, text, or Signal. That option exists. Most people don't need it but it's there.

 
For people who prefer to reach out directly via text or email, here's what a good first message actually looks like at a minimum: your first name, age, city of meeting, preferred date and time, a secondary option with some flexibility noted, duration, and whether you're looking for incall or outcall. I don't ask for race (I have my own feelings about that) but if they do, provide that too. That's it. If the availability works and we pass each other's vibe check, screening follows naturally. That's the sequence and it works.

 
I usually allow myself three replies to the client before I explicitly redirect someone to my website, my calendar, and my booking form. Within three replies, I've usually answered the same question twice by that point, and I take the time to answer thoroughly, and I think that's quite a bit of time and energy to extend to someone I haven't met yet. After that I'm politely but clearly pointing to the resources that exist specifically so I don't have to have this conversation manually every single time.

 
The through line in all of this is that typically, the information is usually already out there. The websites we create exist for you, the client, not for us. We don't build those things for our own entertainment. When someone takes the time to actually read it, the whole conversation goes differently. And honestly so does our impression of you before we've even met.

END OF MESSAGE

Ohhh QueenBia I see you! In fact LA guys are the worst to work with, they got new feature btw  - you communicate with them for several days, they even pay deposits and then ghosting you anyway LOL it seems like nice thing, but I was really looking forward for seeing some of them and I can’t even get that new pattern of communication, like what was the point to waste my time? Can someone explain to me why people behave this way? I just confused why some people do everything to make things complicated 😕

Anyone, and I mean anyone, can provide a clean first-pass yield email to a provider they want to see and have researched. It ain't rocket science:

 
Hi ___.  My name is ____ and I would like to spend ___ hrs with you on ___________. I prefer in/out call. My basic screening info is P411 ID ________, TER Handle _____, Twitter handle ___________. Please let me know if you need additional screening info to feel more comfortable meeting me.  

 
You can reach me at (email) or (phone #).  

 
I look forward to hearing back from you.  

 
Best regards,

 
(your name).

 
Save your questions until after you're screened, or you ARE the guy the gals don't like and you ARE a time-waster.

 
This is dead simple stuff, and I will never understand what is so damn urgent that you need to pester a gal with questions about it before she has a chance to figure out who the hell you are.  

 
Just keeping it real, here.

What if one of her answers to my questions reveals that we're simply not compatible? That could be viewed as timewasting by some, if I already asked for a date, gave her all the screening info she requires, then told her we were not compatable based on her response.
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As I mentioned, I probably follow your advice about 75% of the time, but come on, MZ, we can't even ask a simple question or two now before sending over that information? That just hasn't been my experience with providers at all.
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They are customers too in their civie life, and I am certain they ask questions many times before making a purchase or giving up information. That's just what intelligent, informed consumers do.
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I honestly can't recall a single provider I've contacted over the many years who had any issue answering a couple of straightforward questions before receiving screening information. That seems like a perfectly normal part of determining whether it's worthwhile for both parties to continue to move forward, imo.

You’re not JUST with the gals on this because your example is just about exactly what I send on first contact.  

 
Exceptions are that I say a bit more about myself, not screening stuff but something about me; that’s because I’ve lost count of the number of providers who say they really appreciate that. Also,  I don’t share p411 user information through email, I do that only through the site as users are instructed to do.  

 
You seem to be quite anti-question for first contact. That’s fine. It just all depends on the ladies we’ve met and how they do things. Some of them, ask questions before screening and you’re a time waster. Others, wait until the second or third email to ask, and that makes you a time waster because “why didn’t you just ask that along with your booking info in the first place?”

 
FWIW, the only questions I would ask in a first contact is if the screening requirements were not completely clear in the ad or I might say something like I know you want a deposit and that’s fine, can I send that through a gift card? I’m not asking if she will swallow or if she has a pair of blue crotchless panties. LoL  

 
You are correct that anybody should be able to do it. I think with just a bit of respect and mindfulness from everybody, this can easily go very smoothly damn near every time.  

 
The reason opinions on the when and how to ask questions diverge among the clients is that the various providers do things differently. What was perfectly reasonable for one lady could set the next one off. We’re all just working from our own experiences here. We can all just be respectful and use some common sense, remember that on the other end of the email is another human being. That’s all it takes.

+ 1

But most of my questions are really about logistics. About 90% of the women I see are based in NYC. When a provider says she's "NYC based," that often means she has an incall location in Manhattan, usually Midtown (or somewhere nearby) but that's not always the case.
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While traveling into the city isn't exactly convenient, it's generally worth it for me if the date is in Manhattan. However, Queens, Brooklyn, and some of the other boroughs are a different story. Traveling there can add a significant amount of time to my trip, making it much less practical. That's why I usually ask about the incall location up front, before i give verification as "NYC" is such a broad term, and there's no sense in setting up a date only to find out later that she's another 45–60 minutes beyond Midtown.
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But when I'm seeing someone in Philly, it's MUCH simpler. The city is so much smaller, and any location that would reasonably be considered "Philly" is within a doable travel range for me, so I never feel the need to ask questions about logistics in that case.

As of a year or so ago, it is no longer possible to look up an admirer by his username unless he has recently contacted you on site. Hence, there’s no utility to providing your P411 handle in an email.

I love this template, though.

I don’t mind at all if it’s accompanied by a couple of logistical questions, just as long as they aren’t incriminating questions about services offered that could better be answered by checking my TER.

I’m with Robert on this one. As an LA monger, I often have one simple question. What neighborhood in LA are you in? Takes 2 seconds to answer. There is no reason for me to send all my screening information over just to cancel because I find out she’s over an hour drive in LA traffic. Having her screen me will take significantly more time for both of us than answering a simple question.

I often have had that same concern - same cities even. NYC is simply too broad a "locale". Still, I have found that logistical questions seem to be more readily answered after I have established my bonafides in the initial email.

I was not aware of the change at P411. I will keep that in mind.