Write Review
2,080,232 Total Reviews 3,958 New Reviews
10,910 Users Online

TER General Board

This is ridiculous
Neatfeet 2 Reviews 102 reads
posted

I'm sick and tired of ladies demanding real name/work info regardless of the number of provider references. Do you people not understand that this is an illegal activity that operates outside social norms? Why in the hell would I provide info that confirms, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I hobby? I don't need friends, family, coworkers, etc becoming aware of my private activities. And giving out sensitive info to ladies just increases my risk measurably. Besides, nowadays, a lady who has your full name and age can figure out where you live, where you've lived before, where you work, who your coworkers are (if your LinkedIn profile is public), who else lives with you, the names of your closest family members, and all of your friends (if your Facebook or google+ profile is public). And more.

Frankly, I just think that ladies do it to figure out what kind of client they're about to see. wealth, professional industry, martial status, age likely go a long way toward indicating how lucrative each client can be. That's important stuff to know if you're running a business.

Food for thought: not one lady that I've seen has ever told me her real name and/or work info. So why I should I indulge her with mine? I have just as much to protect as she does if not more.

macdaddy19441420 reads

a question for our advanced hobbyists?  and ladies..you have been in a particular area for quite some time..you have seen countless providers in the years you have been hobbying..most providers in that are know each other from meet and greets..correspondence..etc..do you feel you have reached that stage in your endeavors that you shouldnt have to go through all this verification? one provider simply calls or e-mails another and says 'he is good to go'.no checking endless references..ladies..do you accept word -of -mouth recommendations from fellow providers who will personally vouch for this client? or do you do what you always do and trust no one? check and recheck..

ReplyQuoteReport
London Rayne300 reads

necessary for him to jump through hoops. I can see who he has reviewed and contact the ones I might know when he is ready. I only require additional info. in my home town or when a guy is totally new, and I don't use the screening sites.

ReplyQuoteReport
lungman245 reads

cool.

ReplyQuoteReport
pj1964194 reads

London, I was wondering why it is that you don't use the screening sites? Very few DON'T use the screening sites. Im just curious. It's not safer for you or in your best interest to use them?

Posted By: xoxoLondon
necessary for him to jump through hoops. I can see who he has reviewed and contact the ones I might know when he is ready. I only require additional info. in my home town or when a guy is totally new, and I don't use the screening sites.

ReplyQuoteReport
Angela_Petite2404 reads

Members here you know are true when you have a normal friendship started, talk on the phone
compare notes etc but in some cases , if you aren't aware of it and someone has gone down, you
can't always be sure that you are conversing with someone who is logged in as himself. It could
also be a S.O. L.E. ...

ReplyQuoteReport
perfectstorm153 reads

And somehoe MC's post ended up in her spot. Now where did Angela's post go????
Key the twilight zone music...

ReplyQuoteReport
London Rayne151 reads

I did use them when I first started providing, but there are holes in the screening as with anything else. If a guy has refs all he has to do is send me the last 2. If he does not, I will be the one checking him out...not some random site or person I don't know.

-- Modified on 3/15/2012 3:05:39 AM

ReplyQuoteReport
pj1964124 reads

Ok. I gotcha. That makes a lot of sense. Thanx or not ripping my head off and shi* ing down my neck. LOL!!

Posted By: xoxoLondon
I did use them when I first started providing, but there are holes in the screening as with anything else. If a guy has refs all he has to do is send me the last 2. If he does not, I will be the one checking him out...some some random site or person I don't know.

ReplyQuoteReport
London Rayne112 reads

We are cool PJ. You're new, but you have some good qualities about you and that's all that matters.

ReplyQuoteReport
pj1964215 reads

I always ask if I can give a future provider an email addy for the ladies Ive already seen so they can verify me that way too. Then I give them a heads up. When I offer that to a future lady, she usually takes me up on the offer and it has worked out real well for me. The majority of them don't do the other checks, but even the ones that do get that extra which removes a lot of issues/worries.

Posted By: macdaddy1944
a question for our advanced hobbyists?  and ladies..you have been in a particular area for quite some time..you have seen countless providers in the years you have been hobbying..most providers in that are know each other from meet and greets..correspondence..etc..do you feel you have reached that stage in your endeavors that you shouldnt have to go through all this verification? one provider simply calls or e-mails another and says 'he is good to go'.no checking endless references..ladies..do you accept word -of -mouth recommendations from fellow providers who will personally vouch for this client? or do you do what you always do and trust no one? check and recheck..

ReplyQuoteReport
EdrienneCole215 reads

There used to be one lady whom I knew well enough to need nothing further than her OK on a gent.  Her screening and her idea of what made a gent a "good date" was even was even more stringent than mine.  An OK from her was gold.  I've been around the TER scene for about 3 years now and still don't know any other ladies well enough for me to take their word as my SOLE screening tool.  I do put more weight on certain references than on others, but I always will require either a verification site ID (P411/RS2K only, DC can be scammed way too easily) obtained via employment screening (not vouching) or conduct employment screening myself.

The way I see screening is that it is both a tool for weeding out potential problem clients before you meet, but also a sort of insurance policy for after-the-meeting as well.  Any great, long-time, well-known client can go off the deep end (perhaps for medical reasons or issues in his work or personal life).  What good does it do me if all the info I have on him is a handle and several ladies' oks when I'm stuffed in a suitcase at the bottom of a river?  How will the cops know who to start questioning about my disappearance?  When I have real info - and the guy knows I have it - the guy knows its in his best interest I return home safely to delete his screening info.  


ReplyQuoteReport
pj1964160 reads

Yes ma'am, I understand completely. What I was trying to say was, on top of any screening the women want to do, they can also have an exchange with someone who has actually been with me under the same circumstances. And, since I like to bring MY fantasy ladies here to me, either stating at the Hilton or at my place, I want those women to have as many references on me as they can. Whether they choose to take me up on that offer...wel, that's up to them, but I offer just in case. And besides, I don't have anything to hide. It's worked VERY well for me, but this might be a YMMV thing.


Posted By: EdrienneCole
There used to be one lady whom I knew well enough to need nothing further than her OK on a gent.  Her screening and her idea of what made a gent a "good date" was even was even more stringent than mine.  An OK from her was gold.  I've been around the TER scene for about 3 years now and still don't know any other ladies well enough for me to take their word as my SOLE screening tool.  I do put more weight on certain references than on others, but I always will require either a verification site ID (P411/RS2K only, DC can be scammed way too easily) obtained via employment screening (not vouching) or conduct employment screening myself.

The way I see screening is that it is both a tool for weeding out potential problem clients before you meet, but also a sort of insurance policy for after-the-meeting as well.  Any great, long-time, well-known client can go off the deep end (perhaps for medical reasons or issues in his work or personal life).  What good does it do me if all the info I have on him is a handle and several ladies' oks when I'm stuffed in a suitcase at the bottom of a river?  How will the cops know who to start questioning about my disappearance?  When I have real info - and the guy knows I have it - the guy knows its in his best interest I return home safely to delete his screening info.  


ReplyQuoteReport
London Rayne118 reads

Problem is real info. also can lead to blackmail and bartering for good reviews. Many women have actually gone as far as to suggest those of us who do want personal info. "must have an agenda" because it's not necessary. I tend to disagree.

In my local area I need to know I am not meeting with a professor from the past, a friend of my father or brother, maybe a potential employer, etc. so I will not see anyone without it locally. When I tour, I am not as strict but will never see a newbie without work info. period.

ReplyQuoteReport
madiba51146 reads

Many murderers are not thinking about consequences when making the decision to kill.  But I agree that it is better than not doing it.  

In addition to all of the "rational" safeguards, I think it is best to trust your instincts - evolution has given our instincts to us to help protect us.

Having said that, I personally will not participate in a screening service.

Posted By: EdrienneCole
There used to be one lady whom I knew well enough to need nothing further than her OK on a gent.  Her screening and her idea of what made a gent a "good date" was even was even more stringent than mine.  An OK from her was gold.  I've been around the TER scene for about 3 years now and still don't know any other ladies well enough for me to take their word as my SOLE screening tool.  I do put more weight on certain references than on others, but I always will require either a verification site ID (P411/RS2K only, DC can be scammed way too easily) obtained via employment screening (not vouching) or conduct employment screening myself.

The way I see screening is that it is both a tool for weeding out potential problem clients before you meet, but also a sort of insurance policy for after-the-meeting as well.  Any great, long-time, well-known client can go off the deep end (perhaps for medical reasons or issues in his work or personal life).  What good does it do me if all the info I have on him is a handle and several ladies' oks when I'm stuffed in a suitcase at the bottom of a river?  How will the cops know who to start questioning about my disappearance?  When I have real info - and the guy knows I have it - the guy knows its in his best interest I return home safely to delete his screening info.  


ReplyQuoteReport
EdrienneCole129 reads

But I doubt either of us has much education or experience in the matter.  ;-)  Let's suffice it to say that if something as minor as walking through a parking lot with your head held high rather than looking down into your purse/bag/etc is reported to make you less of a target - I don't think it's too much of a stretch to say that having someone's legal name and employment info in a conspicuous place would also make one less of a target.  

Even serial killers like Ted Bundy would forgo pursuing certain women when they didn't fall for his "helpless" stunts as easily as he'd like.  

And yes, we agree on trusting our 'gut/instinct'.  That is precisely why I won't see someone who won't be screened. ;-)  As wonderful as his references are and as intelligent, rational and charismatic as his personality seems to be.... my gut gets triggered when someone won't provide particular details.  Whatever skeletons he may/may not be hiding, the potential risk is not worth a few bucks.

ReplyQuoteReport
JillG134 reads

Is good enough for me. If she has numerous reviews from established hobbyists, I feel safe to take her reference.

ReplyQuoteReport
Neatfeet103 reads

I'm sick and tired of ladies demanding real name/work info regardless of the number of provider references. Do you people not understand that this is an illegal activity that operates outside social norms? Why in the hell would I provide info that confirms, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I hobby? I don't need friends, family, coworkers, etc becoming aware of my private activities. And giving out sensitive info to ladies just increases my risk measurably. Besides, nowadays, a lady who has your full name and age can figure out where you live, where you've lived before, where you work, who your coworkers are (if your LinkedIn profile is public), who else lives with you, the names of your closest family members, and all of your friends (if your Facebook or google+ profile is public). And more.

Frankly, I just think that ladies do it to figure out what kind of client they're about to see. wealth, professional industry, martial status, age likely go a long way toward indicating how lucrative each client can be. That's important stuff to know if you're running a business.

Food for thought: not one lady that I've seen has ever told me her real name and/or work info. So why I should I indulge her with mine? I have just as much to protect as she does if not more.

ReplyQuoteReport
Post Reply Back To Forum
Register Now!