Really good food for thought for all involved. Especially with me being relatively new in the business i will definitely be more conscious of what i do and do not share from now on! Thanks for the heads up Kate! Again great post!
I cannot tell you how many times I have been told another provider's personal info such as their real names, number of children they have, significant other drama, etc. sometimes even on our first meeting. It is none of my business, even if I was asking, but above all to be told without prompt is in such bad taste. It doesn't make me like you more, it immediately sends me the message you are a complete tool, and I in turn become wary of seeing you again as it tells me you will relay MY info to other ladies. Not all providers are "friends" and, news flash, not all providers are stable. You may have no idea what history people have had with each other. Relaying info that seems harmless, may in fact be very damaging.
If a lady chooses to share intimate information with you, you should feel flattered. She has a bond with you...don't abuse that. You wouldn't want her giving your personal info (employer, wife and children's name, etc) to other hobbyists, would you?
During our session, I only want US to have a good time, so let's keep the you and me time to you and me.
Hobbyists, please stop giving random ladies your acquired knowledge of other providers.
I cannot tell you how many times I have been told another provider's personal info such as their real names, number of children they have, significant other drama, etc. sometimes even on our first meeting. It is none of my business, even if I was asking, but above all to be told without prompt is in such bad taste. It doesn't make me like you more, it immediately sends me the message you are a complete tool, and I in turn become wary of seeing you again as it tells me you will relay MY info to other ladies. Not all providers are "friends" and, news flash, not all providers are stable. You may have no idea what history people have had with each other. Relaying info that seems harmless, may in fact be very damaging.
If a lady chooses to share intimate information with you, you should feel flattered. She has a bond with you...don't abuse that. You wouldn't want her giving your personal info (employer, wife and children's name, etc) to other hobbyists, would you?
During our session, I only want US to have a good time, so let's keep the you and me time to you and me.
I, too have experienced this and feel weary of divulging my personal info because of it. For those I choose to share it with, I absolutely want it to remain unshared with others...
Anything that is told in confidence behind closed doors needs to stay that way.
I don't know how many times I have had gents speak about a provider and he is calling her by her real name.
When I get this confused look on my face they clarify and mention her provider name.
Gents have told me about other providers real life work outside this business,issues with their family,etc.
I let them know I have no interest in knowing a providers real name or what is going on in her life.
I so agree with your statement you never know who is stable not a good idea to go around spreading people's business around you never know who you are really speaking to.
Might be a provider who appears sane but is truly a real nut now she has another providers info no telling if she would do anything with the info.But,why chance it?
Funny how some gents think providers are not going to keep their info safe but they are going around telling anyone who is around about the next provider.
This is also goes for gossiping about other providers.I don't give a rat's ass about what someone else is doing I am here to provide a service and that is it if I wanted to know gossip I would check out TMZ.lol
All these guys so worried about their personal info. being exploited, and half the time it's because of their own dumb mistakes. "Oh, damn I got piss ass drunk and left TER up on my pc...wife found it." Duh. Guys blab more than we ever could or would even want to...no one cares about the Johnnie Boys I play with.
wife's name, details about their kids,
fucked in every room of there house, exposing so much about their personal lives, and would never share any of that info w anyone else, let alone pillow talk. can't imagine how boring that'd be to my other client.
it's just not interesting or something i care about when offering an intimate service.
i've stopped seeing guys who are really bad w/ gossiping.
other providers during pillow talk like their exact incall locations, provider real names, reasons for retiring, relationship problems-getting divorced and why they no longer do doubles with so and so escort. I really don't care. It's just not interesting to me. I'd rather fuck some more.
When i was new, i was naive and told clients about my real personal info (silly silly silly), but then I had some clients sharing my info w/ other ladies who shared that info w/ other clients we shared and it came back to me. So now i lie about the silliest things to protect myself from guy gossip.
pillow talk gossip is unattractive
When I first started out in L.A. I was amazed as to how much men has to talk about .
The first words out of some of their mouths were" do you know" and it seriously was
disturbing to hear how the men would share so much that I would firmly say no GOSSIP!
No TALK! Trust is a very important term in this industry and GOSSIPING men no longer
have my respect let alone allowing them a visit to my quarters. And news travels when
people take it upon themselves to start creating it. Men should focus on who they are
going to visit and leave the stories behind. So sad to see this bad habit is still being practiced
instead of diminished.
Angela
any pillow talk should stay bcd. There's a reason for having 2 ears and only one mouth.
I cannot tell you how many times I have been told another provider's personal info such as their real names, number of children they have, significant other drama, etc. sometimes even on our first meeting. It is none of my business, even if I was asking, but above all to be told without prompt is in such bad taste. It doesn't make me like you more, it immediately sends me the message you are a complete tool, and I in turn become wary of seeing you again as it tells me you will relay MY info to other ladies. Not all providers are "friends" and, news flash, not all providers are stable. You may have no idea what history people have had with each other. Relaying info that seems harmless, may in fact be very damaging.
If a lady chooses to share intimate information with you, you should feel flattered. She has a bond with you...don't abuse that. You wouldn't want her giving your personal info (employer, wife and children's name, etc) to other hobbyists, would you?
During our session, I only want US to have a good time, so let's keep the you and me time to you and me.
"Can you keep a secret?"
I always say, "Yes I can, but obviously YOU can't" 
I guess I wouldn't think a hobbyist would waste his precious time with one provider talking about another. I have been given personal email and phone numbers by a few favorites, but I would never even have considered sharing that with anyone, as you said I'm flattered that she would trust me enough to give me that and I will honor that trust. I realize everyone is different but it really does surprise me that even one hobbyist would share that, if one reads between the lines of your post I think it's evident that you have encountered more than one hobbyist doing this.
I cannot tell you how many times I have been told another provider's personal info such as their real names, number of children they have, significant other drama, etc. sometimes even on our first meeting. It is none of my business, even if I was asking, but above all to be told without prompt is in such bad taste. It doesn't make me like you more, it immediately sends me the message you are a complete tool, and I in turn become wary of seeing you again as it tells me you will relay MY info to other ladies. Not all providers are "friends" and, news flash, not all providers are stable. You may have no idea what history people have had with each other. Relaying info that seems harmless, may in fact be very damaging.
If a lady chooses to share intimate information with you, you should feel flattered. She has a bond with you...don't abuse that. You wouldn't want her giving your personal info (employer, wife and children's name, etc) to other hobbyists, would you?
During our session, I only want US to have a good time, so let's keep the you and me time to you and me.
I can't imagine you would ever want to hear anything about any lady I've ever been with including my SO, ex GF, First wife, etc.
Which brings me to Rule #3 if you plan chatting about other ladies, just bring them with you and we'll do a duo, triple or whatever depending upon how much you like to chat. Otherwise, lets just chat about what the two people in the room really like and make THAT work.
I cannot tell you how many times I have been told another provider's personal info such as their real names, number of children they have, significant other drama, etc. sometimes even on our first meeting. It is none of my business, even if I was asking, but above all to be told without prompt is in such bad taste. It doesn't make me like you more, it immediately sends me the message you are a complete tool, and I in turn become wary of seeing you again as it tells me you will relay MY info to other ladies. Not all providers are "friends" and, news flash, not all providers are stable. You may have no idea what history people have had with each other. Relaying info that seems harmless, may in fact be very damaging.
If a lady chooses to share intimate information with you, you should feel flattered. She has a bond with you...don't abuse that. You wouldn't want her giving your personal info (employer, wife and children's name, etc) to other hobbyists, would you?
During our session, I only want US to have a good time, so let's keep the you and me time to you and me.
I don't really want to meet anyone she's fucked either. I don't even read reviews anymore. We all know what goes on I just don't need to read or talk about it.
MM
In all aspects of our life.... conversations with "A", should not be shared with "B"... If "A" wants "B" to know something, they will them themselves...
I prefer to limit the conversation to my Gary Cooper imitation... "Aw shucks ma'am, let's fuck.."
and yes ladies, it is generally true.. Men are worse gossips than women.. Rare exceptions on both sides exist of course...
If any of you gossip mongers need fodder for the rumour mill, here it is.... Pssst... Someday I really wanna do Kate!!
This works both ways, does it not? To single out the hobbyists is unfair. Two weeks ago I was with a provider and all I said was her last review was awesome. She proceeded to tell me, without me asking, what company he works for, his position, his marital status, where they went, how many hours he booked, etc. Talk about TMI! I have also been with providers who couldnt wait to tell me the list of "famous" people they have been with, be they sports figures, actors or politicians. I agree with your overall premise Kate, but it works both ways. Everyone needs to STFU, not just the hobbyists. People with big mouths come in all shapes, sizes and genders.
men who do that. if u have complaints about escorts doing that, start a thread about it,,,i'm sure we'll all support u & say how bullshit that is for her to do such a thing. but there's no point in taking away from the fact there are lots of men who gossip during appointments,,,it's tremendous the amount!!!!!
Let me explain. If it is as you say, a "tremendous amount", and I take you at your word, what are you doing about it to lessen it? Women have the ability to end this gossip from the men if they so choose. But it sounds like the women "play along" then complain it on a public post. Now maybe you do something about it and if you do I commend you for it.
and you're suggesting we tell them to stfu during a date? Yea, I can see those review scores now lol. "She had an attitude when I wanted her to listen to my problems...very aloof and just wanted to fk. She did not really seem interested in what I had to say," even though it was bs about another provider!
I don't think you realize just how much bs we have to sometimes put up with to keep a good clientele, and gossip is only the start. Now, I am not that way because I will simply bitch slap anyone who can't take a hint, but I don't tend to attract men who want to yap too much. I am usually the one doing the yapping.
You seem to be taking this post rather personal...hmm, why is that? There are tons of threads that are directed to hobbyists, providers, and both, so asking someone not to do that is ludicrous lol. If you're not the one doing it, should not bother you that she wants to direct it to 'some' men. The men here who don't do what she spoke of, are certainly not offended.
Quite frankly, some providers love this type of crap because they want to know the competition is somehow less than they are, but I find it tacky to talk about what another provider told you in confidence. Then again, I don't say anything I don't expect not to bite me in the ass at some point.
-- Modified on 12/16/2012 7:04:30 PM
You very kindly say you have a policy that you dont talk about other providers when you are in session. Thats it. There are SOME things you wont let the client discuss, right? And Im not taking it personally at all since apparently you havent read my other posts. I said neither side should do it. But, if you are going to take part in it, even passively, dont bitch about it later. What is it about having your cake and eating it too? LOL!
You have no idea how offended some men can get when you tell them you don't want to do ANYTHING. News flash...we all post about the stupid crap that happens during a date here....ALL the time. You assuming the providers who bitch about this are doing it, is again, ludicrous. So, should I not bitch about smelly or rude clients, because I certainly would not be seeing them for very long. You're suggesting no one start a thread about things that bother them, and it's comical. That is what a discussion board is FOR to begin with lol.
We are not banging providers to know if they would talk about someone else are we, so it seems LOGICAL that the thread would be addressed to the MEN we see...
-- Modified on 12/16/2012 7:37:47 PM
People who complain about something while they themselves are engaging in it is ludicrous! I dont like cigarette smoke. If a provider asks if she can smoke in front of me I kindly say no. If I say yes, then bitch about it in a review, that would be ludicrous! You cant drive the get away car then say you had nothing to do with the bank robbery London.
You are ASSuming any of us take part, but no one said a damn thing about that. I have no problem shoving my foot up a guy's ass if need be, so wrong girl here bud. We don't take part on the stupid discussions, but letting some of you ramble on about your dumb shit is NOT being 'part of it" as you say. A guy is not going to ask us if it's ok to bash so and so like he would ask about smoking...as if lol. That's beyond retarded to even try to pass that off as logical.
I personally wish some of you were mutes, and just came in with your pants unzipped so I can do what I do best. You're projecting, and no one said a damn thing about us taking part in the bs! Us having to LISTEN to your shit, does not make us part of it..freakin duh! If we were laughing along with you and bashing as well, you might have a point. Once again, it's obvious why you are so hell bent on trying to blame shift to the damm provider. Someone seems to have struck a chord lol.
I think you need to look up the definition of a discussion board, because you seem to have a problem with anyone expressing something they don't like. Stick around, because if you think this is bad, you haven't seen anything yet. Try reading this ha ha ha..that should clue you in.
I guess for you, a blog would be a better way to say what should or should not be done? Well, here ya go. I don't think you are going to find many people here who are going to stop posting threads just because you don't like them, but good luck with that lol.
-- Modified on 12/16/2012 8:23:48 PM
Listening is giving your tacit approval to wha is being said. Once again, for you do not read my other posts, I do NOT blame the provider at all. I blame ANYONE, be they provider or hobbyist who engages in gossip about other hobbyists or providers. It is you that is taking one side of the argument and taking it personally. I am pointing out that the men and women do it, both should knock it off, but if you allow it to happen in your prescence, you really should STFU about it. So please read my posts before you speak out of turn AGAIN about what I am saying. Thanks.
Could you kindly get your head out of your ass for a minute? Trying to change the subject, shoving a tit in a guy's mouth, suggesting we do something else, is NOT ALLOWING a damn thing. I am sorry, but I can't debate with someone who can't even comprehend stuff that is elementary. You are basically saying in not so many words that we should end the date with any guy who wants to gossip. Do you like every part of your job? I bet you do the very same crap you're accusing providers of, because if you bitch about any part of your job, well just quit already lol. That is basically what you're suggesting providers do...just toss the money and walk out on any guy that does something we don't like.
Sorry, but we can and will bitch about whatever we want here and if you don't like it, simply put that user/users on ignore and don't read their posts. No one is gong to stop bitching for YOU, that much is certain.
Maybe all the guys who like to bitch about old, fat hookers and those who rip them off also 'allowed' it? Yea, brilliant lol. Welcome to the hobby buddy, you've got a lot to learn. Maybe the newbie board would be a better place for you...not too much bitching over there. We have to keep things G rated so as not to scare the newcomers.
Here is a thread from a guy expressing he would like providers to not stop during a bj, but alas, unless he holds her damn head down, did he "allow" this to happen? Ha, you make zero sense. He can tell her what to do til he is blue in the face, but when he starts cumming it does not mean she is going to do what he asked. Just like many guys don't do what we ask...shocking.
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=562345&boardID=12&page=1#562345
-- Modified on 12/16/2012 8:47:38 PM
When did I ever say "end the date"? I simply said you can say you have a policy where you dont discuss other ladies in the business. Its done all the time in many different professions. Its called professional courtesy. That would solve all of the ladies concerns here tonite that their info that would be shared. Would it not? And there's no reason to talk down to someone or try and bully someone off this board just because they have a differing opinion than you. Nice debating with you though. Have a great night and best to you London.
i recently had some questions about a provider's recent review. to ease my mind, i pm'd several of the reviewers that had seen her in the past. all who answered me assured me the recent review was way off base and the provider was great.
a couple weeks later, in an email from a wholly different lady (answering an availability question), she tells me that she understands i had questions about that other provider, and this lady proceeded to tell me her opinion of what went on between that other provider and the reviewer that gave her a bad review, including black listing, services not offered, activity of the two on national black lists, etc etc etc.
tmi, and from a source i didn't especially wanted included in my private conversation with other reviewers! creeped me out completely, now i'm not so sure i want to see either girl again. too much drama!
but damn, i can't sneeze around here w/o several providers i've seen and reviewers i converse with wondering if i caught something from my last date!
not to mention aliases on these discussion boards accusing me of inconsistency because of throw away lines i make on various topics. this ain't the harvard law review, i'm just passing time on a forum about hooker, fercryinginthesink!
any sense of privacy is an illusion in this community and it's creeping me out....ewwwww....
Both sides need to be respectful of private information. And I in no way meant that only hobbyists gossip; I've heard it from BOTH ladies and gents. However, lately it seems the gents have been quite careless. I was only voicing a reminder.
will always be problem children, but I hear ya. If you or anyone really wants to make a difference, you should point it out to the gent at the time he is actually doing it and kindly ask him to stop as it makes you feel uncomrfortable. Now, I fully realize, that may make you feel uncomfortable to tell him at that time but I think that would have a better effect than a generic thread pointed at the hobbyist community in general. But I respect your views Kate and glad you shared.
Thank You Kate For Sharing this Post
Tootles
Molly
I cannot tell you how many times I have been told another provider's personal info such as their real names, number of children they have, significant other drama, etc. sometimes even on our first meeting. It is none of my business, even if I was asking, but above all to be told without prompt is in such bad taste. It doesn't make me like you more, it immediately sends me the message you are a complete tool, and I in turn become wary of seeing you again as it tells me you will relay MY info to other ladies. Not all providers are "friends" and, news flash, not all providers are stable. You may have no idea what history people have had with each other. Relaying info that seems harmless, may in fact be very damaging.
If a lady chooses to share intimate information with you, you should feel flattered. She has a bond with you...don't abuse that. You wouldn't want her giving your personal info (employer, wife and children's name, etc) to other hobbyists, would you?
During our session, I only want US to have a good time, so let's keep the you and me time to you and me.
Promulgating private, sensitive, and otherwise superfluous information seems to be an unfortunate and popular ego-centric dynamic.
I've had dozens of PMs over the years giving info that was totally incongruous to what I asked for, or was needed to know. It’s an infantile “One-Upsmanship” on the part of the informant.
At the basis of this hobby is the assumption of trust and discretion by everyone!
Really good food for thought for all involved. Especially with me being relatively new in the business i will definitely be more conscious of what i do and do not share from now on! Thanks for the heads up Kate! Again great post!
I cannot tell you how many times I have been told another provider's personal info such as their real names, number of children they have, significant other drama, etc. sometimes even on our first meeting. It is none of my business, even if I was asking, but above all to be told without prompt is in such bad taste. It doesn't make me like you more, it immediately sends me the message you are a complete tool, and I in turn become wary of seeing you again as it tells me you will relay MY info to other ladies. Not all providers are "friends" and, news flash, not all providers are stable. You may have no idea what history people have had with each other. Relaying info that seems harmless, may in fact be very damaging.
If a lady chooses to share intimate information with you, you should feel flattered. She has a bond with you...don't abuse that. You wouldn't want her giving your personal info (employer, wife and children's name, etc) to other hobbyists, would you?
During our session, I only want US to have a good time, so let's keep the you and me time to you and me.
Did you think you were having a conversation with an adult..?
I am not sure why the "gossiping old lady" mentality is so rampant among hobbyists, but it's always very disappointing to meet someone who completely lacks any understanding of etiquette. My guess is that those men feel that by sharing some other lady's secrets, they will somehow gain favors with us, but the truth is that as soon as someone opens his mouth in gossip, most of us shut down, make sure not to share any of my real personal information with him, at the end of the date warn the other lady about him, and then never accept another date with the offender.
I wish there was a way to avoid seeing anyone with those gossiping tendency, but there is no screening against it. I will say this much though: usually once you tell the gossiper that you would never see him again because of his indiscreet behavior, he usually acts very remorseful, promises never to share anyone's information with another woman... but goes on doing the same with other ladies, thinking that word does not get around about his behavior.
I've received plenty of references with the warning, "don't tell him ANYTHING, he will share ALL your info with other ladies and his backchannel buddies!" Luckily I was aware of that from the beginning and have always made sure not to ever share any of my real information with those who are too immersed in their "hobby" and who lose track of the fact that we are real women with a lot to lose. I've heard back my own (obviously fake) occupation and hobbies from another lady twice so far... Both times I thanked my lucky star for having used fake stories and data, as well as thanked the lady for letting me know.
IMHO, when it comes to meeting someone in the context of escort - client relationship, there is no space for errors in judgement. If one feels that the other party could be a risk, it's best to use an alterego. Once you have known each other for a while, spent significant amounts of time together and have built some serious trust, there is space for sharing real name, occupation, hobbies, hangouts and the like. But that takes time and only happens with those one has a real bond with. Just my opinion.
-- Modified on 12/18/2012 12:45:14 PM