I have the exact opposite body issue as you do. I am 5'11 and 160 pounds, as little as a year ago I was around 140 pounds, so I have always been that slightly taller than average lanky guy. not always a great look in dating, but its never been an issue in this area. but if you told her your physical description, and she was ok with it, then in no way should that have any impact on the session.
as for the "spot", im really torn. it shows some very good qualities that she noticed and was so concerned with it. so many would just ignore it and spread it to the next 100 guys with no care at all. BUT, on the other hand, if you havnt had problems with it in your personal life, but she noticed it right away, that could point to the fact that she never wanted to do anything with you. there are many a rip-off girl running around. they will find the first little thing, use it as an excuse, and take your money, leaving you as horny as you were before and a couple hundred bucks lighter in the wallet. besides that, and I cant stress this enough, MOST PEOPLE WITH AN STD DONT SHOW PHYSICAL SIGNS, at least not all the time. she could have slept with 10 guys with aids that week, and never knew. its a risk you take when you have sex with anyone, not just someone with a spot on their penis. everyone has something on them that could be used as an excuse the way she used the spot. EVERYONE. no matter what the ads say, you know what you are paying for. she knows too. you didn't get it. you needed to get that money back. you need to write a detailed review of the situation. maybe she was actually concerned for her safety, you cant dismiss the possibility. but it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to make it public knowledge of what happened, so that if she is a rip-off, others will know about it and not waste the money and time you did. but hey, if you are cool paying hundreds of bucks for a HJ without a finish, I know plenty of college girls I could hook you up with.
After several month in the planning I took the plunge and went for some entertainment. My very first one. FYI, I'm 55, 1.72 m, and a bit overweight (90 Kg). The provider of choice was top of the TER list in my area, 2 reviews good and v. good both. She is 20, slim, 1,57, 48 Kg. Killer girlish body.
I met her in an upscale boutique hotel in my area. During the first minutes of chit chat, I asked her to go slow (I'm not 20), that I need to build up with lots of visuals, etc.
The beginning was OK, with lots of play, some LFK and then a long DATY/DATO session. She was trying to rush me a bit, and at some point we moved to bed. Nothing prepared me for what came next.
While playing in bed, I tried some FIV. She declined. I asked her for a BBBJ (her strong act according to the reviews). After she removed by briefs she asked about a little "spot" at the basis of my penis. Her question was a completely turnoff: "Do you suffer from any STD" ? The spot was there for ever, and checked million times by my doctors. It is completely innocuous. Then she spotted a mosquito bite in my leg. From that moment, everything went tumbling down. So BBBJ: NO. Maybe a CBJ? NO. Tried to move back to some LFK: NO.
At that point, she - obviously turned off but still trying to be OK, tried a weak HJ (covered), and then any attempt to keep going was destined to failure. After trying K9, Lazy and some other, I lost completely motivation and my body switched off. I decided to put the encounter out of misery, and I asked her to leave the room.
After mentioning to her my dissatisfaction for the poor service, she told me "I am doing different things with different guys" and "we are humans after all and there is a matter of chemistry between people", comment I could accept from a girlfriend, but not so sure about a provider.
I am interested in people's comments (bot punters and providers). Is this a "common" experience? (e.g. a provider turned off by the hobbyist, to such extent she would not even try to deliver the goods), or was it maybe a bad choice on my side for a first encounter. Maybe someone with more experience (on the provider side, provided she is 21) could have managed this differently?
Not sure what I could have done differently… In any case, I am not mad at the girl. I will not blast her for this.
Thank yo
I think she just got scared because of the "spot". Remember, she does not know your medical history so there is no way for her to be sure that it's not a STD.
You said she only had TWO reviews, so what do you expect? That's not exactly "well reviewed" lol. Every date is YMMV, so know that going in. We are under no obligation to do shit if we think you have an STD, which was obviously her thought. I would have took 100 for my trouble, then asked you to leave.
Dear Ms. Rayne:
I have got to ask would you retain the Benjamin to cover the HIV test that you bought from CVS since you are concerned about STD's? I would figure that you would since you don't write anything off on the business.
But most suck it up and put on a brave face and get through it and deliver what is expected (YMMV is ALWAYS there).
In your case, she is 35 years younger and you are overweight. It MIGHT have caused some consternation as well as the spot and she has no way of knowing what it is. She is young, but in her defense she did speak up and mention her concern.
Guys that go for very young when they are way older sometime risk a lack of chemistry because of that (mainly on the provider side) and they may not have the skill to mask that enough to get through the appointment. Some do a GREAT job and can deal. Who knows as to what was going through her head that translated to verbiage.
Obviously I underestimated the spot issue. In fact, it's been ages since I thought of that (having being checked so many times, I was told to forget about it, and I did...), so it is understandable on her end. I should been more aware of it, and I will for the future. Never considered removing it, I may did it now.
Regarding the "creepy" factor, I discussed this with her before hand - in all details - so she knew what she was going to see
Sounds like it was destined to failure from the start. She sounds like she may be new, but I know TER is not big in all areas (like mine). If multiple MDs had had to test the "spot", how was ANY provider supposed to know what it was? How you handled the question, and explained it , could have played a part in her reaction.
Now, I converted your size to things everyone in the US is familiar with- 5'7",and 198 ponds.. Most providers should be able to be able to take that in stride. ( From my limited experience,)But she since she was young, and had a nice bod, she may not be used to having to "work for it" But a covered HJ ? I dont think any man past 20 would get anything out of that.
I like London's solution, since it is a compromise, but not providers see it that way. Of course, most hobbyists would say that she should have given a full refund...(dungy wxcluded)
I would not agree that most guys would say she owes him a full refund, I certainly don't think he is entitled to any kind of refund. Some STD are forever, any woman that would risk a lifelong disease for a few hundred paltry dollars needs to have her head examined. Just like taking a shower, it's incumbent on the guy to present himself as a clean and disease free person if he expects to get intimate with a woman, no matter how much or little he is paying.
Go to your doctor, tell him you met a woman who was concerned and have him write you a note. Either that or have it removed.
A more experienced gal might have known it wasn't an STD, but why take the chance.
You are much more likely to have a good time in the hobby if you can put the provider at ease.
I do think she should have offered a partial refund, but would not force the issue.
Good luck in the future
Thank you. This is a very sensible comment for an awkward situation. I was not expecting a refund. I am also new to the trade and I guess this is a learning process for me as well...
And in the grand scheme of things a rather cheap one.
BTW I would not say at your height and weight that you are anywhere near morbidly obese, and mid fifties is not really that old, I am almost 55 myself and still consider myself a kid,and I act like one too. Lol
You have to be 100 pounds over ideal weight to be considered that. But he is anywhere form 30 to 50 pounds over weight.
And he is nowhere near the bottom on a scale of other hobbyists being height weight proportionate, but yes he could stand to lose 20-30 lbs
I just got to ask in countries where this is legal,what would the pre conjugal examinations be for customers going to see women? Also would it be closer to the porn industry where everyone is carrying around the latest results of their test? Also I wonder if European women ask for these thing during the screening or would they go to a public register where they can learn this information easily?
"Dungy wxcluded"
Who the fuck are you peanut
A word to the wise. You're not up to it. I know why you're "all swole up," but don't press your luck. We all give gals money to fuck them. That's fine. But it doesn't make us tough. She fucked you for money. Without the coin you would have pounded sand. So, please, take your condescending faux tough guy act and slink away to your dung pile.
I've got the under...don't disappoint me dungy.
I know you can do it...we all do LOL
Who the fuck are you peanut?
Arnold Stang calling out Arnold Schwartzenegger. LMAO
I have the exact opposite body issue as you do. I am 5'11 and 160 pounds, as little as a year ago I was around 140 pounds, so I have always been that slightly taller than average lanky guy. not always a great look in dating, but its never been an issue in this area. but if you told her your physical description, and she was ok with it, then in no way should that have any impact on the session.
as for the "spot", im really torn. it shows some very good qualities that she noticed and was so concerned with it. so many would just ignore it and spread it to the next 100 guys with no care at all. BUT, on the other hand, if you havnt had problems with it in your personal life, but she noticed it right away, that could point to the fact that she never wanted to do anything with you. there are many a rip-off girl running around. they will find the first little thing, use it as an excuse, and take your money, leaving you as horny as you were before and a couple hundred bucks lighter in the wallet.
besides that, and I cant stress this enough, MOST PEOPLE WITH AN STD DONT SHOW PHYSICAL SIGNS, at least not all the time. she could have slept with 10 guys with aids that week, and never knew. its a risk you take when you have sex with anyone, not just someone with a spot on their penis. everyone has something on them that could be used as an excuse the way she used the spot. EVERYONE.
no matter what the ads say, you know what you are paying for. she knows too. you didn't get it. you needed to get that money back. you need to write a detailed review of the situation. maybe she was actually concerned for her safety, you cant dismiss the possibility. but it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to make it public knowledge of what happened, so that if she is a rip-off, others will know about it and not waste the money and time you did.
but hey, if you are cool paying hundreds of bucks for a HJ without a finish, I know plenty of college girls I could hook you up with.
From the tone of your post you seem to have been ripped off a lot or have a strange spot on your privates and have been refused service.
Maybe none of the above but you really came out swinging. Not saying you're wrong either but it would be like this girl putting him on a list for his "not contagious" spot, warning every other lady around town.
ANd if he does write a review I would sincerely hope he mentioned said spot to give a much more reasonable perspective like he did here.
I have not been ripped off, and I have not been refused anything, but yes, I did come out swinging. and if you care to know why, i'll tell ya.
one could easily assume she has done this before. its like a thief, murderer, or anything else...very unlikely you get caught ( or in this case put on blast in a public forum) the first time. think about the first time you were speeding. did you get a ticket? probably not. it is possible she was really concerned for her health, but very unlikely, in my opinion at least. as I said before, and should be common knowledge to everyone on a forum like this, not all STDs are visable all the time, some never leave marks/sores. a spot on his leg does not make him any more likely to have something than me, you, my cousin, your neighbor, or anyone else. it was a copout by a girl who didn't want this old guy in her mouth. at the very least, she should have offered him a minimum of half his money back, because SHE WASTED HIS TIME. what do the women on here say about cancellations, etc.?? do they not complain about you wasting their time? it has to work both ways.
also, this is gonna get me shit on, but whatever...the "job" that she and many other women have chosen, isn't that bad. firefighters risk their lives for 30 grand a year. I have friends in Iraq making 40 grand not knowing if they will die today at the hands of some crazy. I know people pulling 60 hours a week in 100 degree factories for 30 grand. cops where I live don't get much money, but they get all the shit that comes with working in the "hood". I get that putting some strangers junk in your mouth, butt, vagina...wherever....isn't flattering "fun" but how many women get drunk and have random guys take them home every Saturday night? you aren't getting shot at, you aren't running into burning homes, you aren't breathing in asbestos...but look at the money made here by those who provide quality service. the man said he was clean, if you don't trust him fine, give his money back, tell him to get tested and bring you the results to your rescheduled appointment. I bet he would have done it. if she doesn't wanna suck his dick, she should find a new job. I doubt that her 2 reviews are real. do you even know how easy it would be to create 2 fake profiles and write 2 fake reviews of yourself?
I don't have any issues with the women that do this. I just don't like the double standard that applies. if roles were reversed, and she had paid him, and he pulled that...she would have him beat up or robbed or something and probably nobody would feel sorry for him. as far as im concerned she stole his money.
and im sure his review would mention the spot, but it still needs to be written. and she needs to put on her ad that she will turn you down if you have pimples, an ingrown hair, or your left nut hangs lower than the right.
... Sounds like you should have it removed. End of problem. It doesn't bother you because you are used to it and you know it is not dangerous. Not so an escort. No offense to previous posters but the act of presently a piece of paper from a doctor certifying a clean bill of health is absurd. Hell, that would freak me out! Also, as others have pointed out -2 reviews is nothing. Find a well reviewed escort and an older and more experienced one to boot. Good luck.
-- Modified on 8/27/2013 4:19:49 PM
I think it might have been just more because of the providers age. Well, how mature she was anyways. Yes, I believe it is her right to show concern about things. Point of the matter is, she was suppose to give you the service you deserved or just excuse herself from the appointment. She knew from that point that she asked you about the spot that she wasn't comfortable and should not have wasted your time or money! Every provider is different and you'll find one that your comfortable with eventually. Your age, height, or weight has nothing to do with the provider treating you right while your together!
the advice routinely given on the Newbie Board--see only well-reviewed providers. And for a first time, much better to see a MILF who is newbie friendly and can ease you into this playpen we enjoy.
Another poster mentioned seeing a woman that is older. What if his preference is very young women? Many here wouldn't be seen dead with anyone over 30, great reviews not withstanding.
I see his situation might be tough but could he not see very well reviewed younguns?
Since the experience I went to check the issue again. According to the doctor it is "MILD SKIN PIGMENTATION", and told me that is extremely common and everyone who saw a cock in her life would not have reacted to this at all.
I have seen several providers ever since. None of them raised this as a topic. At all.
The provider I had this experience with her, received horrible reviews since mine. Many with similar themes, just looking for any excuse not to deliver the goods, and run away with the money with minimal effort.
She retired two months ago and sold her domain. Her email is now used by another provider, which I suspect have access to the mails from several hobbyists. Very poor ethics.
In short, I fell in a trap. Even as I agree I should have chosen a more experienced and reputable provider (and I DID learn my lesson), this provider was a complete Ripoff. She put me through a lot of stress, for nothing