When seeing a lady for the first time I like to send the initial appointment request 3 or 4 days in advance, just to give her plenty of time.

Twice now everything has been arranged and then the night before an early meeting I've been asked for references.

The order of things is than out of joint. It seems almost like a subtle way to derail a date. It would almost be better if someone just canceled than started to check me out at the last minute when who knows if anyone can be reached.  

I am all for screening and references, that's not the issue, but shouldn't the lady just ask for that up front before going to the bother of picking a date and time?

It seems strange to me, that's all.

So if you can explain that order of event to me, please do so.

Thanks for reading, that's as close to a rant as I am going to get.

Feel better now that you have that off your chest?

Not criticizing just saying.  I vent too some times.

even though I find it rare that they wouldn't verify you before making the date. Hmmm...

Most guys  that are interested in me   will  provide their references in their initial emails to me  so I can  verify them ASAP and move on to the fun stuff like planning the date.

Better Luck next time!

i ask you to please include any references and all contact info when you email me. It should be done in the inital correspodence. Knowing you're probably going to be asked you should just send them and if she doesnt ask...well then if i were you i wouldnt see her. IMO

Hugs
Mea

I have spent a lonely few nights there and don't want to repeat.  If I get free for an evening, I want company.  I was given the name of one lady by a friend and fellow TERer.  I have exchanged posts with another.  I wrote to both asking if each could check out anything she wanted so that I would be pre screened if I found myself with a free evening and certainly don't want to start screening then.  They both agreed.

If I were you, I would specifically ask what you need to do the moment you decide to see the person.

I ask for references right away then the night befor ethe date I just like to make sure you are still coming LOL

If you are planning on role-playing, wait until you get to the room before putting on the police officer costume.   That might help.

cuz i wont even book a date until  i check references

When seeing a new lady I usually email first asking to let me know if a specific date and time are available and if it is I'll send my references ASAP. Yes, it would save time if I just included references, but if the time isn't available I move on the next option.

conclusion. And those lady who did nothing wrong would be put in a bad light.