I'm curious if anyone here is in a serious relationship with a woman who works as a Provider. I am, and we have a dynamic which works very well. We are very much in love and I accept her work without any judgement or problem.  

I first met her as a client, but over time we evolved into a serious relationship and the client/Provider dynamic disappeared. I have never asked, nor wanted, her to stop working as a Provider. I fully support her in her work, and I have a deep respect for her. Our love is very sincere and this connection has been worth finding a healthy way for us to allow both our emotional dynamic and her work dynamic to co-exist.

As our relationship has evolved, I have gone through several stages of incorporating the different layers of our relationship and her work. I have experienced some stages of feeling awkward about her work at times, and I still do occasionally, but it is quite minor these days. We can talk about various aspects of her work in ways similar to me talking about my work, and it does not interfere with our emotional bond.

I am curious how other partners who are in this kind of relationship find ways to let a real love-relationship co-exist with her working as a Provider. I have advice of my own I could give, but I'm interested in the experience of others.  

I know these kinds of relationships are not common, but I can't be the only one. Anyone have any input

"outside" relationships.  As soon as you start labeling or thinking of them as "serious", you're going to do something to fuck it up.  I only have one outside relationship at a time, but since she is seeing other men in her work, I get to see other women on the side as long as I'm paying for it.  
she's the only one that I don't have to pay.  That's what makes it real life, but it still doesn't make it "serious."  

The only discussions we have about her work are humorous anecdotes from her about some of her customers.  There are some backward dudes out there paying for sex, and some of the shit they do is hilarious.

-- Modified on 11/5/2016 5:05:45 AM

The chances of you staying in the relationship for any length of time is the same odd's as the Cubs winning the World Series. Oh wait - never mind.
Seriously, do not put any stock into this relationship. It's just not going to work. You see it all the time here on the boards. I've personally seen it in real-life on numerous occasions (including once myself), and in this business, there's just no way it'll work out in the long run. No way.
Ok, sure....someone here will say it "can" work. But hope doesn't float, shit floats.
It's not about the glass being half full or half empty. Nothing to do with a having a positive outlook or a negative one. Be a realist

We are married now.

There is at least one other board contributor who is married to a working escort.

So, it happens, probably quite a bit, but I think that successful long lasting relationships are outweighed by the train crashes, a few of which have been mentioned over these boards through the years.

In any case, it's better to have loved and lost, as the saying goes.

Here's hoping you also beat the odds

She is the most amazing woman. I am happy to be her husband.

Don't listen to the naysayers who say it cannot work. It can, but it is work. Honesty is key in making it work. Without honesty, there isn't trust. Without trust, giving the extramarital activities going on it is doomed. Honesty is always important in a long term relationship and double so in an somewhat open relationship.

Set clear rules you both will live by. Is this an open relationship where both are allowed to bed whomever? Is it a somewhat open relationship where there are limits for one or both? My marriage falls into the somewhat open group. We are allowed to pay for it or get paid but no freebies. We are both allowed to play in this game. There other limitations but I am not going into them here. Thing is you and your SO must reach an agreement on who is allowed to bed whom and why. And you must agree how much discussion is going to happen about the extramarital activities. My wife and I are very open about this.

You also must make time for each other. Take her on real dates where you dress up and just spend time with each other. Take time to talk and reconnect daily. When you bed her make sure she gets hers. Make her feel special. In her job it is her responsibility to make her clients feel special and that can take a lot out of her, reverse it and put some of it back. Some of her will if you don't

Does ex sex worker go to paid sessions with you and professional.????No reason to be haters on clients and professionals in a relationship..Hobbying paying professionals leave....

Are you dating, living together or? But for now, let's say for shits and giggles that you're living together or planning to.Alright, like someone mentioned before, trust/honesty and a very clear set of rules will have to be established and really understood by both, Are you still going to be "playing" while she continues to work? Will the "Kiss goodbye" when she goes to work set in well with you as well as the "How was your date" when she comes home. That's for you to decide. But just the mention of some "awkwardness" that you have experienced in her work could be a sign of a potential problem.  
Now, not knowing what kind of provider she was,such as GFE,PSE, Weekend getaways and her not a clock watcher, will she have to change her MO for you? Some changes to her menu might affect her business and if that does she might trip on you or she may have to establish a new client base, but that's a different deal you'll have to work with her on.
But as far as the relationship working? I dunno, it's possible that this relationship could make it. But if the relationship was developed solely on the sex, because that will diminish sooner or later, then it's doomed. And seeing that you were a client, you know what's out there and guys tend to get bored sooner or later, shit I know, I do....lol.
And I hope she didn't get you on a rebound, ya know you're newly divorced or separated then you're not thinking with a clear mind and you're getting this shit all twisted. So good luck and I hope it works out....
But please don't be that "Face Time" guy that wants face time with her before and after her date...I just hate that, and yes I know a lady that's in a relationship like that..it sucks that I have to hide or be quiet...lol.

There are many, many of them. So, relax, you are not alone and enjoy your ride. Xo

there is nothing ex about my wife. She actively works as a sex worker. And yes, we see other sex workers together and apart. She loves pussy as much as I. She also sees them minus me.

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is key!  

When someone can- fully- accept and love someone in this little world of ours, there's a great chance it will work.

hanks for the feedback. Every relationship has its own dynamics, but when sex-work enters the picture the dynamics are a bit unique, as compared to a "vanilla" relationship. I think it requires some careful considerations, to make sure that the relationship is not tied to the sex, as one of the replies here asked.

Regarding some of the questions here, we are in a "real" relationship, not something less. If it was just about the sex - fuck buddies, for example - then that would be a different story. Perhaps that would a bit more straight-forward, since it would be primarily about the sex. But our bond has more layers than that, with issues of trust and openness required. I truly do consider her my soul-mate, and I want to accept whatever kind of work she does without somehow controlling her in any way.  

I think her being a sex-worker does influence our sexual relationship on some level, since she experiences a wide range of approaches to sex in her work. I think it has an effect that is perhaps similar to a therapist broadening their perspectives on the wide range of psychologies that people have, with no illusions or hangups. Sex does play a strong role in our relationship, with it being expressed in various ways, some of it quite creative. But I view this as totally distinct from her work. Sex-work, and sex with you soul-mate, are 2 very different experiences.

I would recommend that any 2 people who first meet as client and provider, and then try to evolve away from this into a deeper "real" relationship, really should make sure that they truly do love the other person. Sex in any relationship has to be approached with honesty and acceptance, and if one person in a relationship is having sex with other people as a job, this will require some conversations and decisions that aren't required in a typical relationship. But I can say from the experience that the effort is worth it.

I have had many LTR's with active hookers, only in a very few did we ever use the "L" word.  

I think in some of my best "real" relationships with women in this business neither one of us were actually in "love" with the other, did we have a serious case of being "in like", most definitely, but I wouldn't say that being "in love" is a prerequisite to having a very successful relationship with a sex worker.

Since no one has ever successfully defined 'love' anyway, and given that most who think they fall in whatever they believe love to be fall out of it almost as quickly, I say don't try to define it - just enjoy the ride wherever it takes you

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