Several months ago I learned some lessons on the "power exchange".  You are taking a rather complex equation and trying to simplify it into a yes/no type of answer.  And in reality, it can be considerably more complicated than that.

Most guys want to believe that they have the power with the money in their hands.  And simplistically, that would appear to be the case.  But once that money changes hands what happens to this "power exchange"?  Does it fall into the ladies corner?  Not necessarily if you simply are prepared to walk away and never see this gal again.

But if you are seeking to spend another appointment with a gal, this is where the real "power dynamics" come into play.  

Both sides can win if each recognizes what each others real needs are, and are willing to concede on points that may not be that important.  But once one side is not willing to "budge", then you/she will confront just who is actually in "charge".  And it could well be that neither side is willing to compromise, and both lose!

Great question Colonel.  And one that can be debated for a long time with many, many differing viewpoints.

...unless she doesn't want to see you.

Definitely, I'm the one in the power situation...

Here's a perfect example. Axl and I sat down one day, after many drinks mind you, and wrote this little ditty.

Actually, maybe it was more geared towards my ex?....

You know colonel (btw love the name).  Im a new guy, so dont fully know the answer
to this.  Take me for example,  I've  been emailing for a week to see this girl for the first time this wed.  We've been going back and forth about meeting this Wed night.  Tonight I get a email after I sent one to comfirm that she can't see me tomorrow but can see me fri.  Of course,  I'm out of town this Fri.  I tell her boo this sucks, that did she double book me?But that I'd like to see her next week.  I'm willing to put up with some bullshit but not too much.  I mean I am the one with the envelope.  She gets a little bit of a pass b/c she is hot.

Each party has complimentary interests and each party has a certain objective for what he or she wants from the exchange.  From my experience, its the balanced, considerate, mutually beneficial exchange of power that results in the most fruitful and enjoyable experiences.

So many want to characterize this as a dominance game, either one side or the other.  I don't have much patience for that perspective.  I see it as shared interests intersecting to the mutual benefit of the people involved.  For me, the best experiences are those where we both feel we've gotten what we've wanted from the exchange and nobody feels short-changed.  Even better, where we both feel happy enough about the experience that we're both anxious to make it happen again.

We all have some power.  It's a matter of how we apply that power in our human interactions.  Balance is good...

That it doesn't is merely an illusion or testosterone based propaganda.

DD

And there is other options for both parties to get what they want out of the transaction. It also depends greatly upon the people involved. Some guys would have a hard time getting laid any other way without putting lots of work into themselves, and are in the weaker position. Some ladies really need the money, and can't get the money they need in their mind any other way, and she would be in a weaker position.

On the other hand some lady really don't do this as a way to support themselves and are almost hobbying themselves and they usually have the upper hand. At the same time some guys like me don't need the hobby to get laid, and the ladies have very little real power over me. (y wife don't count.)

He or she who has the gold makes the rules.  In this game, both sides have the gold...hobbyists have the $$$, and we can see more or less whom we wish , depending on how much of our gold we are willing to exchange.  The ladies have the pussy...and they can more or less see whom they wish, depending on who has the most gold they are willing to exchange at a given time.  At the end of the day, it's a zero sum game, at least for those of us, guys and gals, who know how to play this game right.

You have it when you don't exercise it.

Think about it.

Personally, I've never cared about this topic.

This is about fun.  Go see the lady, be a gentleman, and she will in turn treat you well.  There's no need to exercise 'power' over anyone - just set that aside and enjoy each other.

Based on the amazing lack of 'ladies' with the backbone to chime in on this question.

I think we all now know not a one of them can handle the truth!

Yes. You need people like me, and you know it.

This is my first post, I didn't know this site had a forum so please forgive any mistakes, I don't know all the rules, but I do have an opinion on this subject.


I am a long time provider and feel very empowered by what I do. Does that mean I feel more 'powerful' than my clients, absolutely not. I am an employee, paid to provide a service. I have a temporary boss and what he says during the time we are together (staying in pre-session agreed perimeters), I do without question or qualm. He has the power in that he can discontinue visiting or write negative reviews. Meeting new clients carries a risk, consistent relations are definitely preferable in my opinion.

I make more hourly as a provider than many doctors or lawyers without utilizing my education or answering to a supervisor. Does that make me feel powerful, absolutely.

The client is the variable. Some clients want to be in control and could doubtfully surrender if they aspired. Some clients have minimal power in reality and relish having someone at their complete disposal. Some only want to remedy a biological nagging and there's no power at all in that, more of a deposit with a disposal fee  

But most of my clients (and admittedly my clients are primarily long term) want me to take the power. They work high stress job, have high stress families or other circumstances that require their constant diligence. They pay me to distract them from the world for a while.

They want nothing more than for me to take control, to let them turn off their mind so they can concentrate solely on the responses of their body. They don't want to tell me what or how to do anything, they just want to lay there and let me do what I do. At the end of the session, they turn their mind back on and walk out with their body a whole lot happier, picking their 'power' up on the way out.

Everyone is different, but I do think the client dictates the balance of power, whether he keeps it or surrenders it depends on the client.  

Power Play

IMO, the power is constantly changing hands. No one has 100% "power" or control at all times. From the man who chooses (he has the power) to the woman who agrees (she has the power) to what actually transpires at the meeting (depending on the visit...) to the woman leaving and the man rating. A continual circle and transfer of power.

Then there comes the deeper issue of why we all do this. Many of us choose to be a provider even though we could easily have a decent paying job. The power, excitement, adventure keep many of us coming back to the industry. The unknown of each day. The day that we have the power to control. Many men could have any civi they wanted "free" but most likely with some strings attached. Instead they choose to take the power and use it to pick a woman.