Just got back from ANOTHER session in which GFE was promised.
So here we are, at the moment of truth - debating on what the definition of GFE is.  She's trying to tell me that every guy she's ever talked to defines it ONLY as "easy to talk to" and "bubbly conversation" etc etc.  I'm trying to tell her it only means one thing.  Sure, being intelligent and bubbly -that's a bonus and all - but really - anything more than being sexually responsive is wasted on me.  Is it just me or do most of you guys need to 'emotionally connect' with someone?  

It's getting real hard to choose a gal that doesn't have a current review.

Anyway, just venting.

It means gets totally into the sexual experience like you would with a girlfriend. I can't believe she would expect anyone to tolerate such claptrap.

I know another Hobbyist that defined what a GFE should mean to us. You can't argue with what is said. At least I couldn't.

I'll get him to respond to this.

"Like a girlfriend"?  I guess if you are lucky.  Many people in the hobby are in the hobby precisely because they aren't getting a "GFE" from their significant other.

Would any of you tolerate and stay with a girlfriend who wasn't fun, sexually responsive, and didn't DFK? If so, then that's your problem, not ours. GFE should be all of the above.

I guess he means my definition.  I stress that it is MY definition and do not say it works for all of you.  In response to CHUBBYB's post above, I suppose it would mean "...like a GOOD girlfriend....":

Here goes:

The 3 pillars that GFE rests upon, Tangible and Physical, in my book, are DFK, DATY and BBBJ (TC, NQNS, etc. optional for me).  For a provider to be GFE she must provide these 3 services.  The intangible part, and this is as important, or more, is attitude and personality.  After all, the largest sex organ we possess are  our brains!  She needs to make me feel that for that period of time we are together, she is there only for me, and her mind is in the room with us.  We can talk about anything, fool around playfully, intellectually, physically, or any other way.  We have to meet on a common intellectual level, whether that means she coming down to my level or me coming down to hers (I have met many providerrs who are a lot smarter than I am).  And if we have "dated" more than 1 or 2 times over a relatively short period of time, then there should be a process of non-verbal communication, ie- we don't have to discuss rules.  She should have the ability to remember what buttons of mine to push, as I should remember things she may like or dislike.  Ideally we have had lunch or dinner and have spent some "vertical" time together as well as "horizontal" time.  And we rarely, if ever, discuss other providers or other clients.

That's my definition.  Now before I get flamed by those of you who must point out that this is business, I am aware of that.  And for 33 years before I retired I did exactly the same thing, without the DFK, DATY and BBBJ, as a salesman, to my clients.  And all this is only my .02.  I expect other guys will certainly refine or change this to their own subjectivity.  And that's perfectly fine, and right!

Getting back to Shelter's original post:  Your "GFE" requirements, as you briefly describe them, are as fine a definition as mine, for you.  Obviously the provider didn't care to provide the physical GFE services, and played you.  I know of no hobbyist who defines "GFE" as she did.  So chalk this up to her practice of false "GFE" advertising, write a scathing review on TER warning off all hobbyists that look for GFE types, and unfortunately chalk one up for the team.  Most of us have at one time or another.  I know that when I check reviews on TER, I tend to discount older reviews (older than 6 or 7 months), and look for consistency, to prevent a similar situation.  

And for the New Year, I wish you only GFE experiences.  Good Luck.

F.

x

her words.

-- Modified on 1/2/2003 3:39:18 PM

Like you said, different folks have different ideas.  I don't care so much whether DFK is on the menu...but the only thing I would add is that you have had a GFE when afterwards....in the quiet of your own thoughts...you are sad that you are not with her.

-Hoot.

I am not too sure about condom -free events being GFE.   My SO and I haven't had sex without a cover, except when we were baby-making in earnest.  Condoms are just safe- they don't lower the intimacy of the act.  Nor does their absence make an act more intimate.

I do not seek the GFE, as I am a massage guy.   But I know what I would like if I did look for it.

It's funny tho-  I get plenty of GFE at home- MY dream session would involve a BBBJTC, then a spa level massage, then another bbbjtc- even some more massage if I wanted...   So I am looking in an even smaller pool then the GFE guys...!

"different folks have different ideas"

Exactly why people should take the term "GFE" with a grain of salt.  Even Fortitude's post in the newbie board says it is a subjective term!  Why people complain about providers not being their idea of a "GFE" is strange to me.  It's a SUBJECTIVE TERM!

There are precise categories in the reviews here for DATY and BBBJ, and DFK is pretty closely labeled as well (under the generic kissing).  Stick with those, and you cannot go wrong.  If one of those services isn't provided, or is only provided on a YMMV basis, then it means the review should be fixed.

My previous comment about "girlfriend experience" is an old joke that came about when we all started seeing that term, a long long time ago.  There were a lot of jokes about a "GFE" being that we spend $300 to get told that we weren't going to do anything because she had a headache.

...but then I read your post.  There'll be minor variations of detail from one guy to the next, but you've really got the essential core of the answer.

...I hate the notion that a provider must follow some script (she must do this, this, and that) in order to be classified a "GFE".  Everyone has different expectations--so one man's GFE may not be another's.  The original poster said that a GFE "means only one thing"--ridiculous.

What keeps me in this hobby is that when I go to see someone I DON'T know EXACTLY what will take place--it's the mystery that intrigues me.  I would hate to read a review then see a provider and have my session be JUST like the one the guy wrote about in his review.  I would hope my session would be different because I'm different.

I think going in with strictly defined expectations is a terrible way to engage in this hobby.

...and it's a bit different, but so what?  It's what YOU expect, ned, want, whatever.  That's subjective.

Hence "ymmv".  Finally someone comes out and says it.  Every guy is different so every encounter is different.

2k1 I totally agree.  Variety is the spice of life!!!

as you can see by this ever growing thread, everybody has different "key points" that they think make a "GFE". what should we learn? that there is NO universal definition. so what does an escort mean when she advertises that she offers "GFE"?

well, the key word should be "advertises". why would she spend money on a website or print ad to brag that she offers the coldest and most impersonal service in town? of COURSE she says "GFE".

lots of girls who advertise GFE also provide a GFE. how will you know? read reviews. if she doesn't have any reviews, then face the fact that you are taking one for the team.

best of luck

Ridiculous?!? Why?  You clearly have no idea what I'm talking about.  "one man's GFE may not be another's?"  That, my friend, is the problem.  I think, no - I KNOW that a GFE for one person should be exactly a GFE for another.  A man may choose to partake in any of the INCLUSIVE properties that define a GFE.  But those properties that make up a GFE need to be consistent from one GFE provider to another.  

Now, if you don't give head without a cover, simply say "I'm fun - I'm bubbly, I'm smart, funny, intelligent" (and I'm completely safe. ... but DON'T mention GFE.  How hard is that?  All I'm saying is just reserve that one term so I know what I'm buying.  

If it's only the acts of sex that define a GFE then I've had a lot of shitty girlfriends in my life.

GFE is an attitude, pure and simple.  And attitude is totally subjective.  You either click with her attitude or you don't.  And when you do - you've found a true GFE for YOU.  My ATF did not DFK or BBBJ during our first encounter and yet it was the best damn 4 hours I had spent with a woman in 20 years.  I wanted to see her again so bad for so many reasons other then just plain sex acts.  That's a GFE experience.  If you don't know what those other reasons would be then you have not had the experience.  Or maybe you haven;t had a GF to compare it with.  It's all subjective...

so, if a GFE is some magical 'clicking' kismet that may or may not happen - then I guess with your definition we agree that GFE shouldn't be a term that the provider uses... 'cuz how is she supposed to know if the stars are going to align and Jupiter is in the house of Venus.  I guess with your definition, GFE is strictly a reviewer's term.  I can live with that IF you still include the gory details.

...so if a girl robotically performs the specific acts you define as a GFE, even though she is not really into it, is she really a GFE?  I don't think so.  An uncovered BJ and a DFK alone does not qualify as a GFE in my book.

It is not a specific act that makes a GFE but as the term implies it is the "experience"--and that "experience" will not and should not be the same for everyone.  Get over it.

As I said, variety is what keeps me in this hobby--as soon as all sessions become the same, and all the girls provide the exact same services to everyone I'm outta here.

.....I go into a session thinking I'm going to have a GFE experience (because that is what she said) and no DFK, DATY or BBBJ. That's not a Girl Friend Experience. That's a W.E. (wife experience) right down to her walking out the door with my money. That is why there needs to be a simple, universal definition, for a GFE. So as Fortitude said and Shelter agreed, if a woman posts that she is a GFE she should allow the 3 pillars.

......that's what was said. She provides certain defined services and if you and she "clicks" she will probably go from a GFE to an ATF.

One of my ATF's is a provider whose reviews here are not what traditionally would be called GFE.  That's because she really isn't, at least initially.  But once you've gotten to know her, she fulfills every role that I would need from a GFE.  You know that they say that men think of women and sex every 5.3 seconds? The girl that this man thinks of every 5.3 seconds is her.  And it's at least as much between her ears as it is between her legs.

you're not paying attention. it's BOTH being into it AND performing specific acts. Get over it?  How 'bout you open your eyes.

..well, I then will leave you to your narrow views.  This is fun for me and I choose not to set strictly set standards and am therefore rarely disappointed as a result--which is why you don't see me writing the kind of whining diatribes like the one you wrote to start this thread.

GFE is the illusion of intimacy. My illusion would include soft kissing to intensely arousing deep French kissing, body to body caressing, uncovered mutual oral gratification and exploring new sensations and adventurous positions. Cuddling after climax.

Anything less is not a GFE. To me. To anyone who has experienced actual intimacy...

The differences lie in chemistry. Some people connect at a very intense level and some people simple repel each other. Trouble is once the transaction is initiated, it must be completed. When people who don't click go anyway, the exprience is more than likely to be unsatisfactory. Short version.... shit happens....

I agree with you.  GFE is toooo widely used now.  You cannot possibly be a GFE for everyone, although a few top providers must be to get som nay 10's in their reviews.  You listening MA?

Uncovered oral into the mix as well as multiple "cups of coffee"

what it is when I see it. And yes, it must contain certain elements of a sexual nature that I would expect from a girlfriend, but also a non mechanical and friendly attitude that I would also expect from a girlfriend. If we just start saying that it is "subjective", then the term loses all meaning. Today the sky is blue. We may disagree on what shade of blue, but to start saying that "blue" is subjective makes the definition of the word meaningless.

About the condom being just plain safe (and smart), and not lessening the GFE experience. It shouldn't!
Also, with one's own SO, it's 'usually' monogamous, and the absence of condoms is due to the level of trust and understanding based on the level of commitment. Can't be compared with being a Provider! I wouldn't dream of faulting a Provider in any way for choosing to only offer CBJ's - whatever she needs to do to protect herself, and offer the best, safest experience for her clients.


xo
Sedona

You made me laugh so hard, I have tears in my eyes!


Coldest and most impersonal,
Sedona

I'm still crackin' up! LOL LOL LOL

To my understanding about the sexual part of the GFE from maybe a clients view point is that she may provide BBBJ,DFK,DATY,more then one helping in session,cum in face/gulping[may or may not] photo/vidos at times but that is mostly with a PSE,Greek[may or may not]and other things like your wife or girlfriend would do,and she really cums during the session most of the time and does not fake it,and you feel like your on a real date.Also client may sometimes bring her small gifts like you would do for a real girlfriend.Also if it's a 3 plus hour session you take her out to eat.And that is somewhat what most clients think about the whole GFE I guess.She may do all[which would be great but don't count on it]of the above,or some,or most.But it is by far no kiss on the cheek and a hand shake,or wam bam thankyou sir in and out,and watch the clock.And its just not sex,it's makeing love.And its not one sided,meaning client just lays there while provider does all the work.I think I covered most of the GFE thing from a clients view point.If not please add to it.