The previous thread touched on this question.
Some ecionomic-social philosophers believe that it was men who devised monogamy so that they could control whom their true heirs were and thus assure male dominated passage of wealth from one generation to another.
If true, (And I'm by no means convinced, though the theory is intriguing.) then that is quite an irony for us hobbyists.
Hoisted by our own petard, as the bard would say.
I was married for 19 (miserable) years, my former wife went "frigid" afer about 5 years into the marriage. She could no longer lubricate (at 28?, go figure!). I started seeing escorts, at a time when there was no internet. Yellow pages was where the action was at, or, in my case I also got a "referral" from another guy in my office.
Well, I finally got divorced, adn I can tell you it was like being geleased from prison (I'v never been in prison but have lot's of client who have).
I just think that for a woman to just go "frigid" in a marriage is grounds to annul the whole damn thing (the law does not recognize annulment on those grounds).
I think women who commits this kind of fraud should suffer the consequences of forcing a man to seek out a provider.
My 2 cetns worth.
GT
but of course they respond to different things - and while they seek stability & money, actually achieving it will eventually make them dissatisfied, frigid & neurotic. Just like you'd like to fuck Angelina Jolie, but more than 7X will bore you.
There are incredibly more ways to screw anything up, than to get them right. Sexual relationships are no different.
If you have an incredible connection, there will be no lull in your relationship, sexually, sensually or Passionately.
I have always been excited by his touch (my SO that is) I crave him to be close to me. To even sleep with him his arms around me, is comforting. I have never become bored with that and I doubt I ever will.
When you are in a relationship with one who is Not a true match to you, your needs and your personality, I can see that the charms can wear thin and it feels tarnished after the newness wears off. Stress and everyday struggles in life wear on a relationship of all types,,,yet if you Truely are a match, I believe you can with stand the strains. I have not thus far become bored with him, he still flirts with me and makes me gitty like a first date. I still get butterflies when he kisses me, and I wake to find his hand gently carressing my body each and every day.
So no not All relationships end in a loss of Intimacy.
That doesnt mean at the same time that there isn't just one for each, in this business I find I am compatible with many, on different levels of course...but the polish has not worn off my relationship and I don't see it happening any time soon if ever.
And might I add...I have never entered a relationship outside this business which was on the basis of financial stability and the almighty dollar. That in itself is not a relationship but a financial partnership. They are very different. Sounds to me you were matched with one not interested in you for You but for what you could bring to the table. That may be Why it ended in such loss of Intimacy, sounds to me like you never truely had that connection to begin with.
-- Modified on 3/31/2008 6:28:47 AM
-- Modified on 3/31/2008 7:02:05 AM
Seriously though, there's monogamy and mono-sexual, if there's such word. I tend to believe in one relationship, but I'd be open to poly-sexual (not polyamory), as in open sexual activities if so agreed upon.
the level of monogamy is inversely proportional to the size of their testicles. Chimps who have the largest balls are the most promiscuous. Gorillas, whose are much smaller are faithful, but polygamists.
So where does that leave us? I don’t know, check your pants.
There are many species that are monogamous though.
-- Modified on 3/30/2008 8:37:24 PM
Every animal that reproduces sexually need to be biologically concerned with two things: 1) that, if they care for their offspring, that the offspring must be theirs. From a genetic point of view, it's terrible if a parent is caring for another animal's offspring. i.e. the cuckoo bird.
2) To make sure that your offspring out-compete the others, especially within your species-- because they are the ones competing for the same resources.
Now, socio-biology explains our tendency for monogamy as an organism's drive to solve both these problems. It posits that no matter how we justify it, and why we believe we do it, our monogamous behavior is in us so, first that a man may be confident that the child he's taking care of is his. Therefore, he doesn't want the female mating with anyone else.
On the second concern, an animal who chooses another for a mate presumably likes it for the favorable traits expressed, and thus, judges it as the fittest. Parallel to that judgment, it also doesn't want the competition having the advantage of it's mate's genes.
It's why monogamy is usually imposed on one mate by another. Different species have different means to impose it on one's mate. Black Widows, for instance, kill the male after mating. That's drastic monogamy. Preying Mantises bite the male's head off, hence destroys his capacity to seek another female. With some lower animals, the penis breaks off and blocks all other males from mating with her.
Ironically, when both sexes are equally monogamous, a species is considered a very high risk for extinction. It's one of the leading indicators for extinction.
If that's true and considering we are pushing through 7 BILLION soon, it looks like we could use a little monogamy.
Subjection of women. Christian doctrine. The list of reasons as to the origin of monogamy can go on and on...
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