A supposed reputable provider was visiting a city near me. I booked with her, it was confirmed, and I had made my plans.
I had no idea she had canceled that tour until I looked on the ad forum, where she announced she was canceling. If not for that, I would have driven to that city. Compounding that irritation was the fact that I had already gotten into hot water with another reputable provider because of a scheduling snafu. If I'd never booked with the provider who canceled, I would have met the second provider, and I suspect would have had a fantastic time. The provider who canceled her tour has me on her email list, and I get emails saying "it's been a long time since we've been together". Yeah, infinity is a long time.I read a lot of threads on this General discussion board, some valid and some illogical. Some providers ask, why clients book and then no-show without a courtesy phone call or email. So here goes, I made contact with a "reputable" provider that posted an ad saying that they would be in my city sometime this week, I emailed my screening info, she contacted me back and a date and time was set. She said that she would email me the day prior to our appointment to confirm, being that I just perused my city board and saw that she cancelled her trip (and not so much as a email or text), I'm guessing I won't be seeing her as scheduled. So I guess my question is, where is the common courtesy? Now I can say I don't feel so bad for providers who get no call/no shows because it goes both ways. Common courtesy, it is a lost art.
Anyhoo.....
What you describe is all to often par for the course, and it goes both ways, and unfortunately, it is self building. That is to say, once someone is mistreated in this way, they become more prone to do it themselves.
All the same, it is, at least in my case, the rare exception rather than the rule, so take some heart in that.
It only seems more common because we too often complain about what is wrong rather than compliment that which goes right
and since when is simply doing what we should have all been raised to do be praiseworthy?
Praising common courtesy should be like praising wiping your ass after taking a dump, it should be expected behavior, but we all know it's not.
I am the opposite, getting stood up makes me all the more attentive to letting people know when I am going to be late or have to cancel. I do believe in the "treat others like you would like to be treated" philosophy.
and his "rant" was a lot less rant like than those of other people, hookers included, who have been stood up. Personally, I can't imagine cancelling on a meeting with a client without a personal notice and apology, apparently this unnamed hooker feels differently about common courtesy, I say, "rant away" but name names. Otherwise that's all it is, a rant that does nothing to cure the bad behavior.
I suppose a personal touch is nice, but she did notify you (indirectly) by posting a cancellation notice on your local board. I'm sure she did that to save time by avoiding individual contact with every booked client in your town. You didn't give a time frame, but it sounds like you got the notice in time. --z
I disagree, through our back and forth emails I also sent her my phone number per her request. Canceling on the local board would have done me no good had I not been bored and decided to log in to TER. When providers ask for references, time, and dates I assume they need this info in order to do their research and book a client. So to ask for the same courtesy that I gave her by booking and responding quickly to her emails, I should be treated the same in return. But GaGambler is certainly right, providers will rant away and blacklist hobbyist for no call/no shows but won't conduct business in return the same way.
I suppose a personal touch is nice, but she did notify you (indirectly) by posting a cancellation notice on your local board. I'm sure she did that to save time by avoiding individual contact with every booked client in your town. You didn't give a time frame, but it sounds like you got the notice in time. --z
Yes, you were treated badly and the hooker in question deserves any harsh words directed her way, but please don't make this a never ending cycle where you treat the next hooker badly, so she treats the next john badly and so on and so on and so on.
NCNS is a pet peeve of mine, and not just where it comes to hookers and johns. A brief post on her regional board might impact her in her pocket book and possibly influence her behavior in the future. Most likely she thinks that since she didn't get enough demand in your city, "fuck you guys, I am never coming anyhow" and that you don't "deserve" an individual apology. Speaking strictly for myself, whenever I see a legitimate post about NCNS that names names, I am very unlikely to book with said woman and THAT is how you cure bad behavior. IOW OUT THE BITCH!!
I feel ya, I'm not going to treat anyone that way because so and so flaked on me. The reason I didn't name names is because TER seems to not allow posts that call out names. But I will if contacted via pm.
NCNS is a pet peeve of mine, and not just where it comes to hookers and johns. A brief post on her regional board might impact her in her pocket book and possibly influence her behavior in the future. Most likely she thinks that since she didn't get enough demand in your city, "fuck you guys, I am never coming anyhow" and that you don't "deserve" an individual apology. Speaking strictly for myself, whenever I see a legitimate post about NCNS that names names, I am very unlikely to book with said woman and THAT is how you cure bad behavior. IOW OUT THE BITCH!!!
I would imagine that is what PM's are for.
You are correct that you cannot do so on any national board.
Disrespectful people will only change their behavior when forced to. Otherwise they will keep on keeping on with nary a thought about those they have inconvenienced.
You are free to flame all you want on the regional boards. I would recommend being sure of your facts before doing so. Did you reach out to her afterwards? Did she ignore you, 1, 2. 3 times? A reputable provider will definitely respond on the board if you post to your board. Will you story be better than hers?
and it goes back to H+T's misplaced concerns about "fair play"
I am most definitely a believer in naming names, but that works for both parties, The hooker in question will have her date in the court of public opinion as well. What I like about this process, (besides the entertainment factor of a train wreck) is that BOTH sides get to speak their piece and then the rest of us can decide who is more credible.
Sometimes this process works out for the John, sometimes for the hooker. and just in case H+T will once again insist that it always works out for the john, let me remind her of an example that played out here just recently on the GD board where Octavia made Asscalade look quite foolish for his little rant. So yes, there is a danger in making unfounded accusations when the hooker has the guts and the brains to stand up for herself if she is in the right.
In regard to what unsafe things a hooker might be tempted to do to ensure she is not "rewarded" with a bad review WITHOUT the ability to tell the truth should she refuse and be safe. Other than that, I don't care.
Maybe the regional boards could be put to better use for such things. If that is the only forum available
We all know there are a lot of OTHFB's offering BBFS for good reviews, and doing so of their own volition, Is that really so different than being "unsafe" to not get a bad review?
Hookers lie, Johns lie. Hookers have long been able to refute bad or inaccurate reviews on their regional boards, and many hookers do just that. Not to mention the bad hookers that go BSC over an 8/8 review and set out to ruin the john's life over it. Or do you deny that ever happens?
Abuse happens on both sides. your constant attempts to show it's one sided don't change that fact. For every abusive reviewer who tells a hooker "lose the condom or I'll give you a bad review" there is a BSC hooker who will tell a john "Give me a 10/10 review or I'll tell your boss and your wife and totally ruin your life"
and unsafe in order to get a good review, she clearly does not care.
I am talking about those who do care....period. And are not gaming but are at the mercy of the system. Yeah maybe those are in the minority but just because they are does not mean they are invisible. And it does not even have to go to the extreme of BBFS...could be licking a dirty set of balls....who should have to do that to avoid a bad review?
Hopefully our exchange has brought this to light so more ladies can, in fact, use the local boards to set the record straight should they be penalized for NOT doing something when the conditions were less than fine.
I have never denied it goes both ways. Really sad when it goes south and either side want to ruin the other.
TER is a site for the johns...the ladies are an afterthought. That I stand by.
uy walks in to a restaurant in his bare feet. Clearly a liability and health risk.
Waitress tells him to wear shoes or get out. Guy gets all pissed off. Goes home and writes bad review about the restaurant all over Google+, Facebook and Yelp. Calls out the waitress by name.
What does it amount to? Not much. Life goes on for the restaurant because everyone and their brother knows it's a good restaurant just like everyone and their brother knows there are assholes out there who write bad reviews to hear the sound of their own voice.
No one puts too much stock in a single review if it is an outlier. If it becomes a pattern, then sorry, but you need to do a better job of screening out the homeless guys. 
Or do what one of my recent providers does, and require all of her clients to take a shower before session starts. Doesn't seem to have hurt her review scores in the least.
All I'm saying is ... the world ain't perfect. And it's not worth anyone's time to try and make it so. I like you, H+T, but get over it
Sadly this is not about one bad review for a hooker but I can see the futility in explaining the true essence of my point that has been so conveniently missed by you.
I just hope that any hooker who refuses something due to HEALTH and SAFETY reasons and then gets a bad review does get respectfully vocal on her local board and mention the trick and let other know the reasons why she did not do something.
I will get over this when tricks get over being gamed in the reviews and every other offense they feel hooker commit.
So please take the very good advice you were just given and "get the fuck over it!!!"
It's a given that there is abuse on BOTH sides of the issue, but it's complete bullshit to claim the hookers have no recourse. Read any regional board, hookers contest reviews all the time, where the fuck have you been all these years?
When whiny tricks get the fuck over it too.
Tell us how that goes.
As much as you hate to admit it, the "rules" do not favor the johns over the hookers.
If a hooker is wronged she is more than welcome to air her grievance on her regional board, the same as a john.
I did miss the part where she was to send a confirming email the day before the appointment which as Z points out is when the appointment is actually "firm"
I still agree just blowing him off was rude and unprofessional, but not as bad as if he was left showing up on the appointed day only to find her a thousand miles away.
I am a firm believer in holding people accountable for their actions. Considerate people will be considerate just out of good upbringing and manners, Inconsiderate people will only learn to be considerate when their bad behavior affects them personally. In a hookers case, that happens when they lose business, in a johns case it happens when he can't book with any respectable hookers because none of them will see him.
I have experienced many hookers that will not elaborate in a reference request. Because of the fear of the hooker requesting the reference may go back to the john and let him know what she said.
Personally, I will tell a hooker whatever she needs to know to make a choice. If the guy was someone I would not see again, I could care less if she ran back to him and "told on me".
While I agree with almost everything you said, I'm having a hard time seeing this as a NCNS. In my mind it wasn't a date until it's confirmed. It wasn't and smart business sense demands she email she didn't these are 20 somethings that never went to college or had a real job. So ...
I think this is what happens with reviews and the overall gaming on both sides. Same with ncns, cancellations etc.
Just to be clear: your provider said she'd send you a confirmation e-mail one day before your appt. You never got a confirmation e-mail, which was a yellow flag. You then did the obvious thing--you checked your local board, where she posted a cancellation notice. I'm not sure this qualifies as an NCNS, in which someone is completely blindsided.
Another thing: you booked her this week, in between two major holiday weekends. You had to know that there was a high probability of a cancellation. I typically don't make P4P plans over the holidays, that's a time for family & friends. regards, --z
Maybe the provider had an emergency and didn't have time to contact each individual client hence the posting in your city. You never know what is happening in someone else's life so a little humanity is nice. Yes that's sucks she didn't contact you directly and common courtesy is nice but hope the provider is okay.
Let's be honest here, she more than likely cancelled because demand was not high enough for her to make the trip. Also understandable and an acceptable excuse via email.
Can't hurt to try, dude, since you already had plans set. It's possible she hasn't yet gotten around to contacting you, since the reason for her cancelling may entail problems that you have no idea about.
Yeah, cancellations without the courtesy of personal notification really sucks. Lesson learned : she is not the reliable type and does not conduct her affairs in a professional manner. Up to you if you want to take the risk of booking with her in the future. Most gents will put her on their " don't bother" list and move on. If you did give her another chance I'd certainly remind her of this cancellation and request personal notification if there is a change of plans. Remind her everyone might not check the boards everyday.
It also really sucks when a dude sets up an appt with a lady and pulls a NCNS. It affects her financially as she was anticipating that fee. Some touring ladies actually avoid certain cities because the local client base has a rep of NS or last minute cancellations.
Also , it's very unfair to the guy who might have wanted to see a lady but could not because she thought she was booked up.
Sorry you had this experience. But it is no excuse " to do unto another what some flake did to you " !
A supposed reputable provider was visiting a city near me. I booked with her, it was confirmed, and I had made my plans.
I had no idea she had canceled that tour until I looked on the ad forum, where she announced she was canceling. If not for that, I would have driven to that city.
Compounding that irritation was the fact that I had already gotten into hot water with another reputable provider because of a scheduling snafu. If I'd never booked with the provider who canceled, I would have met the second provider, and I suspect would have had a fantastic time.
The provider who canceled her tour has me on her email list, and I get emails saying "it's been a long time since we've been together". Yeah, infinity is a long time.
...she should contact you directly to officially cancel the appointment. This should be done on or about the same time that she posted her trip cancelation on the AD board.
A one or two day visit would likely require no more than 4-8 individual cancellation emails. Hardly an onerous exercise for her.
If she cancelled her trip to your location to instead visit another location (to tour), that would indicate that it was not some personal emergency that led to the change, but rather a business decision.
Just prior to meeting my out-of-town ATF for the first time, she posted a tour cancelation notice on my local AD board. I received a direct, apologetic cancelation email from her shortly thereafter, with a promise to contact me directly the next time she visited my location. She did exactly that. One of the many reasons she is my out-of-town ATF
You never got the confirmation email. So there wasn't an actual date set, but a tentative date. Happens all the time in this hobby.
nothing was actually set in stone, ie, no confirmation email the day before. so i don't think the lady was incredibly rude, but rather simply thoughtless.
it's not like you had confirmation and she didn't contact you about cancellation. you had a tentative date and she cancelled the whole city. sure, not classy, but nothing to take huge umbrage to.
i've had much much much worse happen to me, even recently. a lady i had set a date with 2 weeks in advance didn't make the appointed time, even after her assistant confirmed the day before. another lady cancelled on me WHEN SHE SAW MY FACE in her parking garage. and i can't tell you the number of nsnc i've had.
it happens. unfortunately this is a non regulated and terrifically extra-legal activity we are involved in. if it were legitimate, like a restaurant business or plumbing or something like that, there might be rules and recourses. it isn't, there aren't, no harm no foul.
you aren't out anything except some perceived self-dignity. this is the wrong endeavor to look for self-dignity in.
I always pre-screen a provider I am interested in seeing so I can call last minute. I understand this is subject to her availability and I don't always get an appointment. No big deal. Screening takes very little effort for girls that use P411.
In the case where I book more than a day in advance, I always text same day to re-confirm.
Back in the day when I used to drive into downtown Boston, I would always call to re-confirm before going out the door. I never liked driving into/parking downtown.
Bottom line is I never end up in your NCNS position. I don't always get every appointment I try to book, but I don't mind making alternative plans as needed. In the rare occasion when I need to cancel, I aways text or call.
-- Modified on 12/27/2015 2:22:13 PM
that maybe she had "booked up" and didn't want to have to deal with turning down requests?
professionalism. Sorry that happened to you 
Tentatively booked would and should have been done. I guess she thought posting on the forum would be like a catch all, however you are right...if you did not get bored, you would not have known.
Here's the other thing...always check if the appointment has not been set in stone. Shit happens and things can change really quick.
from a provider that needed to cancel.
It meant alot. To your point..very courteous and professional.