Why did the chicken cross the road?


          GEORGE W. BUSH
I don't think I should have to answer that question.

         AL GORE
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing
the road represented the application of these two different functions of
government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to
the American people.

         RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by
unchecked industrialist greed.  The chicken did not reach the unspoiled
habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels
of a gas-guzzling SUV.

         PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

         RUSH LIMBAUGH

I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a
government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is
already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road
syndrome.  Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans
take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I
say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took
from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

         MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing
order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a
certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information

         JERRY FALWELL
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the other side."
That's what they call it - the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken is
gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott
all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media
whitewashes with seemingly harmless
phrases like "the other side."

         DR. SEUSS
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed, I've not been told!

         ERNEST HEMINGWAY
To die. In the rain. Alone.

         MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
having their motives called into question.

         GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us
that the chicken crossed the road,  and that was good enough for us.

         BARBARA WALTERS
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken
tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it overcame a
serious case of
molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing the road.

         JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

         ARISTOTLE
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

         KARL MARX
It was a historical inevitability.

         SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

         VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death
its right to do it.

         RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

         CAPTAIN KIRK
To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

         FOX MULDER
You saw it cross the road with your own eyes! How many more chickens have to
cross before you believe it?

         SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

         BILL GATES
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but
will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook -
and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

         ALBERT EINSTEIN
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
chicken?

         BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken?
Could you define chicken please?

         THE BIBLE
And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, "Thou
shalt cross the road."  And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much
rejoicing.

         COLONEL SANDERS
I missed one?





-- Modified on 1/26/2003 10:22:47 AM

"Chicken, the other white meat"   -  Porky Pig

THE HOBBYIST

Sure, the chicken crossed the road.  But did it do BBBJTC?  And where are the reviews on TER?  I mean, no reviews, and YOU LET the chicken cross the road.  On your dime?!


THE PROVIDER

I don't know what I was thinking.  I let the chicken cross the road  -- without taking a shower.  I'm the one who laid an egg here.  


THE COP

We couldn't arrest the chicken.  The money paid was just for "crossing the road".  Anything else was between a consenting adult and a bird.


Humbly submitted,
-Hoot.

you are too funny

my fav,

why sis the baby cross the road?

cause it was stapled to the chicken!



oooooooooooooo!!

We arrested the chicken.  Had no evidence, so we lied on the report.  The chicken will probably plead out anyway.  Who cares.  Where's my Krispy Kreme?

One possible addendum to papercup's brilliant response:

The cop wanted the chicken to give him a BJ, but the chicken refused because even she had standards.

Thanks Mel

HUH...???????????????? Sis's baby..???? Staples...Ugh...Sounds painful...But...NOT funny...IMO/EOM

why did the chicken cross the basketball court?

he heard the referees were blowing fowls.

that any of the standup comics I've heard in recent years were this funny.  Thanks!!

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-- Modified on 1/30/2003 7:33:44 PM