Something Smartie said in the thread on BP ads for Asian providers--

"As an asian hooker, I gotta say that asian fetishists are among my least favorite."

--got me thinking.

I'm attracted to Asian women. Does that make me an Asian fetishist? Well, to me that depends mostly on two questions: Do I find women of other types attractive? and, When I'm looking at/thinking about/talking with an Asian woman, am I mostly focused on her race, or on her as a person who has the added appeal of being Asian? I suppose you might say the issues are whether I'm fixated on one race or ethnicity, and whether I objectify people of that race or ethnicity. I think I'm on this side, so to speak, of both those lines. I like women of all kinds and am attracted to Latinas, African Americans, blondes, redheads, you name it --women of color and especially Asian women just have a little extra zing for me; and I think I do appreciate, and look for, the individual, not just the "type," when I get acquainted with someone.

But that's just my personal and maybe self-serving viewpoint. I'd like to hear other people's take on this--not just on the Asian fetish thing, but all those preferences that can shade into fetishism. Have you wondered if you were being fetishized or were going there yourself? Where do the alarm bells start to ring? I'd especially be interested in the perspective of providers, like Smartie, who get fetishized for one reason or another. But really, anyone, women or men alike, who has been confronted with this in some way.

If you look up "fetish," you'll find words like abnormal, excessive, obsessive, irrational, etc. That's how it's defined. Basically, if the girl knows you're into her Asian-ness and she senses you're a weirdo, you're a fetishist.  

If you don't come off as a weirdo, you'll be fine.

When I became sexually active at 15, my first long-term girlfriend was a Japanese girl, and it was one of the best experiences of my life and lasted almost a year, an extraordinary amount of time at that age.  I broke up with her after experiencing racism for the first time.  I was getting shunned a lot by my peers, because if they invited me to do anything, they know I would bring my "Jap" girlfriend, and I was too shallow to stand up to it at that age.  I have regretted it ever since.  

After my Caucasian wife passed away nine years ago, I have rediscovered my love for Asian women, and have dated some civvies on the outside, and seen many as providers, both agency girls and indies.  While I don't consider it a fetish, because its not just the look, its the culture and philosophy I also find attractive.  I think I'm also reliving my youth a little.  Who doesn't want to feel younger?  

there was some attraction based on the taboo principle.  In time that wears off and you like the person for who they are or not.

Someone online once defined kink as something that spices things up but you can take or leave.  Fetish is something you must have to get off.

... are just attracted to an idea or stereotype of them (latina is "spicy", black is "strong and sassy", asian is subservient) etc. Who vs What.

...but have found that I do find myself having "moods" when checking out providers. Had experiences with a few AA women to whom I was attracted as individuals but also found a little extra "zing" by the interracial factor. Same with blondes who were awesome women but got the call because I was attracted to them initially due to "the look."

Guess it's not a fetish as there doesn't seem to be a common denominator to my selections but my provider partners the last few months have all been of an athletic/lean build. That's as much of a common thread as I can see.

Because of my attraction to TS.  Among TS who are not sex workers, there is a strong feeling of resentment against men like me, who like to see TS sex workers.  They are of the opinion that I am fetishizing TS.  I actually worried about that for a minute, and stopped to define what it means for me.  I have arrived at the conclusion that the EXPERIENCE is a fetish for me, but the TS who I happen to be having sex with is a person with feelings.  Which makes it less complicated.  As long as I'm treating the TS the same way as I'm treating other women, I'm fine.  And it's OK for the experience to be a fetish.

Technically, a fetish is an object of worship or adoration that comes from a religious or psychological underpinning. To that extent, if you are solely focused on a particular feature, be it clothing, race, skin color, activity, or so on, and you are either addicted to it or need it in order to get off, then it's a fetish (IMHO).  

And yes, there is a fine line, or even a grey area. I happen to be strongly attracted to thigh-high boots and really tight clothes. Does it make me irrational? No. I'd love to actually be seduced by a woman with thigh high boots some day, but so far it hasn't worked out. I'm not going to blow my budget looking for that to the exclusion of all else.  

I'm also strongly drawn to certain scenarios - semi-hypnosis, for example, or at least, a gentle seduction so I lose myself in the desire. I know where this comes from emotionally, and I'm always going to try to refine the experience, but doesn't mean it's any less powerful as a fantasy. That's not the only way I can get off, however. It's a "nice to have" versus a "need to have".

And this is the distinction, especially, that would influence whether I felt creepy about it or not.

Because of where I live and what I do for a living, I've known a lot of Asian women in civilian life, and if I ever believed this ...

I've long since learned better.  

The reviewer said her pussy wasn't tight enough.  I told her that I disagreed with the review, and told her she should post that his dick was too small.  

Fuck them if they can't handle a strong intelligent gal.

I think this a great explanation. IMHO fetishing a person is when you are irrationally attracted to someone based on their looks or a characteristic vs it being something you like. It's like a must-have versus a preference.  

I'm personally attracted to men 35 or older. I guess I have an older guy fetish? (I'm 22)

I have no problem with that, says the old guy.  

As an older guy, I have absolutely no problem with this! If you "must have" me, we'll have to figure out how to accommodate this need.