Skiing Vs The Hobby

In skiing, two poles are used.  In the hobby, there is only one.

In skiing activity takes place on a bed of slow.  In the hobby,  activity takes place most often on a bed.

In skiing the basket is a disc located on the pole to prevent it from going to far into the snow.  In the hobby, a basket is something that hangs from the ceiling.

Bunny Slope in skiing is the area of the mountain with a gradual decline.  In the hobby, the bunny slope is the area between the breasts and, dependent upon the size, can be a gradual or steep decline.

In skiing “Moguls“ are mounds of snow, also known as bumps.  In the hobby, moguls come in various sizes, colors and degrees of softness.  As in skiing, some are natural and others manmade.

Figure 8 in skiing is made by tandem skiers whose tracks when viewed from above give the illusion of the numerical “eight”  In the hobby, the figure 8 is a tongue pattern used on the “clit” which often drives the provider wild.

Groomed Slope in the hobby and in skiing refers to the slope terrain that has been groomed and is now smooth.

In skiing “hard-Packed” is used to describe icy conditions; generally occurs with the lack of new snowfall.  In the hobby, its used to describe vigorous pounding against the cervix.

In skiing the “headwall“ is a steep cliff, usually the uppermost part of a cirque.  In the hobby, it’s the space above the pillows and when your “head” hit’s the “wall” it’s a signal to move down towards the foot of the bed.

In skiing, “Never-Ever“ is someone who has never skied and signs up for a first-time ski lesson.  In the hobby, it’s a new hobbyist before their first experience or a hobbiest after a bad experience.

In skiing “Out-of-Bounds“ means Terrain outside the boundary of the ski area with no avalanche control or ski patrol; many times these areas are illegal to ski.  In the hobby, it refers to those areas of play which fall outside the limits of the provider’s comfort level.

In skiing “Indie Grab” means grabbing the skis or snowboard under the boot on the outside edge while executing a jump.  In the hobby, this means grabbing hold of an independent provider in the heat of the moment.

In skiing the “Jump Turn“ is a method of turning by jumping both skis into the air, thus allowing a quicker change of direction; generally used in extreme terrain.  In the hobby, it describes the method the provider goes from cowgirl to reverse cowgirl without losing the pole.

In skiing, “Pillows“ are the soft tops of moguls after a fresh powder has covered it.  In the hobby, “pillows” has two means.  The place where you put your head on the bed, and the two “moguls” on the provider’s chest.

In skiing, “ Snorkeling”  is when powder runs up the body and blurs a skier’s vision.  In the hobby, it refers to DATY conditions that are very wet and the hobbyist might benefit from a scuba mask and snorkel.

In skiing, “catching some air” refers to going fast enough to have both skis or the snowboard off the snow after riding over a small hill or mogul.  In the hobby, its taking a break from “French” or “DATY” (see snorkeling above)

n skiing the “Whiteout“ indicates limited visibility due to snow, fog or flat light.  In the hobby, we refer to a “blackout” when the lights are dimmed and the candles are lit for atmosphere.

In skiing, the “milk run: the first run of the day.  In the hobby, it refers to licking and sucking the moguls.

In skiing “face shots"  refers skiing through powder so deep it sprays up and hits the skier in the face. Very fun.  In the hobby, “face shots” are also called “facials” and can also be very fun.  *wink*

In skiing "fresh tracks" means  the first time anyone skies on powder.  In the hobby, it can mean the first appointment of a provider’s day.

In skiing, "death cookies" are patches of broken up ice and hard snow chunks that are difficult to ski on.  In the hobby, it refers to situations when the hobbyist fails to clear their internet browsing history.

In sking a “Volkswagen" is a mogul that is very large.  In the hobby, they are referred to as huge tits.

In skiing "gaper" (pronounced gay-per) : a person who owns all the right equipment, looks great standing in the lodge, but does not ski.  In the hobby, it’s a lurker on this board who has not taken the plunge.

In skiing "Schussing" Skiing straight downhill, often in a full tuck position.  In the hobby, it can refer to the missionary position.

In skiing "catching an edge" is not good.  A fall or near-fall where the edge of your ski or snowboard digs into the snow.  In the hobby, you can catch the edge by design with the provider laying partially off the bed.  However, unintential catching of the edge can result in falling off the bed.

In skiing “tuna points" : a skier who loses control and wipes out into a net either in a lift line or more commonly during a race. In the hobby it is slang for the “Y”

Ski bunny refers beautiful woman on the ski slopes (one you probably have fantasies about getting back to the lodge for acts of venery).  In the hobby, it refers to the provider who you have booked for acts of venery.

Skiing can only be done when it is cold outside and there is a layer of snow on the mountains and generally during the daylight.  Hobbying can be done inside in any weather condition, day or night, plus, I’ve never heard of anyone breaking a leg while hobbying.  Plus, hobbyists do not have to wear layers of clothing to keep warm.  The provider will keep you warm!!

So, grab your favorite hobby "snow bunny,"  practice that figure 8, pay attention to those mounds and do some schussing down that slope!