A good mother does not inflict onto her child her own needs, at the expense of the child’s needs.  She is not upset by her child’s occasional aggressiveness.  She is not threatened by her child’s individuality and independence.  She does not require that her child try constantly to please her.

A good mother can understand that her child may harbor both good *and* bad feelings about her.  At the same time, a good mother can tolerate her *own* good and bad feelings toward her child.  She forgives herself for the occasional mother’s glitch – such as a dark, unforgiving mood or loss of temper – and is able to control those lapses by acknowledging them and figuring out what she has done to contribute to her own frustration.

Her less-than-perfect responses demonstrate to the child that she can possess her mother’s love without having to be a perfect, all-good extension of her mother.  By not giving up the space that rightfully belongs to herself, the mother lets her child go and eases her into the space that rightfully belongs to her.  

A good mother feels both sad and happy during her daughter’s growing-up years – sad that she is losing something by her daughter leaving more and more, but happy that she *is able* to leave.  And that is always her endeavor, to help her daughter leave, even though it is not always easy for her.  Her goal is to prepare her children to go out into the world.

The good mother is one who loves you unconditionally and can let you go.  She allows you to be yourself, different from her, and celebrates and learns from that difference. She can, if asked, lovingly tell you the truth but knows when what you really need is a hug.  She allows you to make reasonable mistakes and learn from their consequences.  She can allow you appropriate responsibility and decision-making. She can admit when she’s wrong.  She can encourage your risk-taking and be there at the finish line of your efforts, cheering you on no matter where you place.  She allows you occasionally to go home again without swallowing you whole.  She can nurture your autonomy by helping you to find choices.  

She gives you this kind of loving freedom.

...but TruthSpeaker hit the nail on the head with his "off the topic" post. He has described the relationship between my wife and my 26 year old daughter. I wish that all mother-daughter relationships could be that good.

with an escort discussion board. I've heard of "off topic" but this is really off the wall.  It sounds like somebody has issues with their child or mother, go settle it someplace else.

This dude posts this stuff from time to time.  Semi-new age goofy shit.  Humour him- he's probably a good guy.  Just ignoring it will probably make it go away after he's done....

the best place/way to purchase a laptop? My old beloved yellow Dell fell into Lake Michigan over the weekend. I know I'm a grown woman, and should be perfectly capable of finding my own laptop. There are just SO many choices and places to buy.

I bought a Gateway because the had the most straighforward web
site as far as comparing models. They basically had small,
medium, and large (speed-wise) and that was that.  Within each
model, you could customize anything - memory, disk space, etc.

Compare this to the IBM site.  They had like fifty different
offerings.  But one offering was the same as the other, for
example, except it might have had more memory.  There was no
easy way to compare different offerings.

I'm not sure if I would go for a Gateway again but not because
of the computer - it's because the other sites and offerings
have seen to caught up.  I would recommend the Dell site.
You pick the model, check out the default configuration, and
then modify it as necessary (e.g. more memory).

Retail outlets have very little to offer and it is very hard to
compare apples to apples in the store.  The computers are
already shipped and configured so minor changes (bigger disk)
may not be available or cost alot more.

If you have any specific questions, ask away.

fr

The theory goes that if you purchase from a local brick and mortar, there's someone to go to if you have a problem. The reality is that the the overwhelming majority of people behind the customer service desk of a national chain has absolutely NO CLUE about laptop issues. All they'll do is take it from you, put a ticket on it, and ship it off to some repair center somewhere. Six years later, you'll get it back.

If you can find a small shop in your area that caters to businesses, you'll likely have better luck from a service perspective. The negatives here are limited selections/configurations and, more often than not, higher price. However, I'd pay a higher price (within reason) to someone who knows their product inside and out and can actually help you with most problems without just shipping it off at the drop of a hat.

My best experiences have been with on-line direct manufactures, particularly Dell. I've bought directly from HP/Compaq, IBM, Toshiba, Gateway, and Dell. In my experience, Dell has always stood out. They do an excellent job of trouble-shooting over the phone and really do send someone out within 24 hours with the right part to fix the problem, wherever you are. (Note: the 2/3/4 year on-site service is worth it's weight in gold if you travel).

HP and Toshiba are really geared toward selling through traditional retail channels. They offer so many configurations and options that it can be overwhelming. (At one time, Toshiba offered over 600 different configurations.) You almost need someone to help you wade through them.

I've had issues with three different Gateway laptops. They never made it through the lease, and I'm not talking about abuse. It was just stuff like keyboards and internal components going bad.

If I were going to buy a Windows-based laptop, I'd get either a Dell or an IBM. If you loved your old yellow Dell, you'll like the new models as well. However, I'm seriously considering getting an Apple Powerbook for my next laptop. If you're heavy into video production, digital photography, or anything else multi-media related, the Mac's kick ass.

somebody introducing their own personal hang ups or views on inter-family relationships into a board devoted to sex and prostitution. They don't belong together.

someone not being able to just skip over a thread they aren't interested in and going out of their way to slam someone who is not posting any type of flame or anything.  

Chill out, man...a good discussion board welcomes all material in moderation.  The point often isn't the material...it is the DISCUSSION.

Peace.

Toshiba has the best quality, I've never had to call Tech support for anything. I've been dealing with them for the last 15 years. Happy Shopping.

Wonderful post. Who gives a damn if it's not directly related to 'the hobby'? I don't see why anyone should be trashed for posting helpful information.
Who kows how many mothers and fathers will gleen valuable insight?

I agree with you on the quality, Toshiba does make fabulous laptops. But it's when you _do_ have to deal with tech support that you see differences. Getting parts for a two-year old Toshiba (still under warranty) took ten days. Granted, that was only one experience, but I've been in EBF Egypt and needed a new screen for a Dell and they had someone drive it out to me next day.

....I hope you dont do that to everything/one you dont like in life-- if so you wont get anywhere.

If you dont like something, or its bothering you-- as long as its not hurting you or someone you love-- ignore it!

Dani

absurd, self-indulgent pyschobabble.  Can someone please find out what this guy is on?  I want some for my next Xmas party.

MILF...

Cheers to all the good sexy mothers out there!

I suppose it's going to be another Dell. I appreciate your help

You are encouraging him to take MY advice, right?

I totally agree with you about finding a small computer store. I purchased my last no name desktop from small locally owned business. I was more than happy with the product and service. Unfortunately, since I am not planning on staying in Chicago, that's not the best option right now. For the most part though, I do my best to patronize small, locally owned businesses.

A lot of people find great value in the Truthspeaker's posts.  And as you pointed out, he does not post here often.
    I side with the posters that say if a thread is of no interest, move on.

Knowing the downtime without a computer due to either the time spent searching for a new one or the repair time ...does anyone know of a place to rent one?