I have had this happen a few times as of late and not really sure how to handle it or what to say. The gentlemen in question have been morbidly obese and I know they have taken a shower but I am pretty certain that they cannot reach everything in question to be very clean. They are very nice but the smell is just beyond bad. And because of their out of wack digestive system they usually have very bad breath on top of it, so no kissing. And some are so large that all that is visible is the tip of the head, the rest is buried in (unclean) fat. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but not sure how to handle these situations. Any (not mean!) advise is appreciated.
Since this is bothering you so much, as it would any person, I would address it before meeting up. Ask for a physical description of the gent, with height and weight, as you would rather know before the meet up if he is not compatible with you rather then you finding out when its too late.
I know there is an issue of discrimination that you are concerned about as you are a caring person, but to me, this is different. Hygiene comes in three different categories with the ladies I see; 1) impeccable 2) good enough and 3) poor. Now 80-90% of the time, the lady falls into category 1, and maybe approx 10% in category 2 which leaves a very small chance, in my experiences, that the provider would be in that last, most troubling category.
So the only way I can really think this would work for you is to screen for it by his physical description and/or ask his references so you don't see category 3 type gents. I don't think anyone should be forced to see anyone who is incapable of being immaculately clean, or at least reasonably washed, for the date.
The downside of not doing the above is what you have already experienced i.e. hurting his feelings. I think the gents in question would rather deal with the disappointment of you rejecting them on comparability by email rather than you not giving then the service you are known for and what is expecting.
Tough one though and good luck!
You can refuse service by stating on your website if your obese person lease don’t book me.
You can clearly state if your obese please be prepared to shower upon arrive & I will help assist you.
* As a provider I totally agree it’s a difficult situation. You may want to post this in the PO only forum too for more help.
Problem is obesity in many cases is like stupidity or being unattractive
The person in question doesn’t know, or if so won’t admit that they are obese/stupid/unattractive
That’s a tricky one. I’m overweight but I’m at LEAST a hundred pounds away from having any part of me I can’t reach with a washcloth. Except for the very center of my back and I don’t have any boobs back there so I think it’s okay.
Some of them are probably aware and do their best, while some are totally oblivious. Some do not care one tiny little bit about what anybody thinks of them or what they look like and others probably have a lot of body shame.
Some providers ask for height/weight as part of screening. I imagine that they decline to see obese clients. It’s more common to see them hint around about it strongly. “My ideal client has a focus on fitness”, “I prefer to spend time with respectful, mature gentlemen in reasonable shape” (usually there’s a “generous” in there as well lol). Or they just talk about how much they work on and appreciate fitness for three paragraphs.
I used to be a good bit more overweight than I am now (nowhere near unable to wash everything but definitely not fit). Back then I had a provider decline to see me. I don’t remember exactly what her ad said but I know it gave me a strong impression that she didn’t want biguns on her doorstep. I told her I was overweight at first contact. No stats like weight or BMI, just big. She very politely said she’d rather not. Speaking for myself, I understand it’s a preference and I didn’t get upset. It’s sex. Nobody should be expected to do it with ANYONE.
Screening them out and declining to meet will feel awkward, but probably the least so of all options. If you don’t want to turn them away, you might have to offer (encourage, insist, demand) them a spa day package. You’d have to put in a huge shower with multiple heads or a big ol tub and get in there with them and do it for them, and they’d probably expect you to do it in a sensual way. I mean, if they have skin between folds that hasn’t been scrubbed since there was a bush in the White House, I doubt the situation would be improved by asking them to try harder. I’m sure the worst part of the problem is they can’t clean the crack of their butt. That’s not pleasant.
I feel confident you’re smart and sensitive enough to say something in the best possible way to explain without being hurtful or mocking. Just know that the best possible is not always good enough for some people. Some will turn their embarrassment/shame into anger no matter what you say; some will be super understanding.
There’s definitely nothing wrong with saying something, IMO. If you can asses their biological geometry and you think they could clean better with a little more understanding of the problem and effort, then ask them to when they arrive. But you can’t just say take a shower, you’re going to have to explain the problem and exactly what needs to be done. Which you shouldn’t have to if these are adults, but that’s the reality. They sell loofa things on handles, if that would help.
The breath is unforgivable IMO, I don’t care about what they eat. You know you’re going to an appointment. I don’t eat for a couple hours before. Gargle. Rinse. Repeat. It’s not hard if you give even a fraction of a fuck about the other person.
Again nothing wrong with saying something. I try not to have bad breath at appointments but if I did sometime, I’d want her to tell me. You might have to make them gargle or whatever.
How the guy reacts to all this will either ruin the session or improve it. But you do have every right to bring it up. I don’t envy you.
I totally get it, and yet I feel bad for the client too. But being honest, if I were a provider I don't think I could be the type that would be okay with any woman no matter how she looks. I'm not saying she needs to be a knockout, but I am saying I would have my limits. I have had providers ask for a picture of me before booking. This is probably what I would do if I were in your shoes.
picture, how does that address the OP's problem with hygiene and smells?
It doesn't address the smell directly at all. That's fairly obvious. But thanks for asking the wrong question. The picture is 100% about looks. If the concern is correlated to the weight, a provider can choose to not see men of a certain weight. Will this cover every possible oder issue? No. You could be fit and stink. But her description wasn't about a stud who didn't show up clean. It was about an overweight man who she felt wasn't able to clean himself suffiecently. So, I offerred up one possible way to address this concern.
And just how many posts have been made here by clients about abusive and intrusive screening when a selfie is required? LOL.
Yes, and some providers still require it. A client doesn't have to see a provider if they do not like their requirements. And, a provider doesn't have to change their requirements to please every client. Both have the right to their opinions and their choices.
a provider has ever gotten from me was my Drivers License with EVERYTHING REDACTED except my photo and the city where I live, and that was in Las Vegas setting up a provider to make an outcall to my hotel. She was completely satisfied because my California DL means I'm NOT local LE, and that is their main concern.
I agree she doesn't have to accept an alternative, but one who doesn't at least CONSIDER a workable alternative is losing business that she otherwise might be able to get on terms she can still live with. Being inflexible in a business is not the best road to success. I've said before, if they ". . . .STILL require it", I will take my business to someone else who views her work as a business and understands sales and marketing.
This isn't McDonald's trying to sell happy meals. I understand the model your kgirls like is high volume. And, that's fine for them, and no issue with those who go see them. But if a provider wants low volume and is meeting their needs, no reason to change to an alternative. They are happy with their volume and doing it in a way that makes them comfortable. And, you have every right to take your business elsewhere.
That said, if it is truly hurtning their bottom line and they do want more business, than yes they should reconsider some of their practices to see how they can increase their business. That's pretty much what any business should do.
low volume like to add upscale customers when they can. If it means they have a few unreliable customers in their stable, this is their opportunity to replace them with someone better. It's a business, not a social club.
You have a LOT to work on before you can even start to think of yourself as an "upscale and better" client. It is a business and I am very thankful I have many reliable, polite, rule and boundary following, considerate, respectful and kind gentlemen that I can spend my time with. When I cut a client for whatever reason there are 5 waiting to replace him. No reputable provider is scrambling for your business. Sorry not sorry.
and NEVER had one that did not ask me to come back and see her again. I do repeat at least once about 80% of the time. You don't know what you are talking about. MANY providers that I have seen scramble for my business, but none of them know me as CDL. To them, I'm just an, educated, successful and respectful older gentleman with a big personality who has deep pockets and is generous to a fault. If you knew me like this, and NOT as CDL, you would be scrambling for my business, too.
Do you see the irony in saying you have guys waiting in line to get a chance to see you, and yet you post here most every day looking for business? go ahead and claim you are not here to try to get business from new customers.
I come here to laugh at the most nonsensical shit that you try to make up to make you feel better about yourself. The fact that a human like you actually exists that I find so entertaining that I never have to meet in real life is icing on the cake. Thanks for the never ending stories and laughs, buddy!!!
every time I'm right about you, you deflect and never give a substantive response. This continuing game you play is not doing you any favors. I guess this means you CAN'T explain your statement that you have guys waiting in line to see you, but yet you come here every day hoping to get customers. Got hypocrisy? Or are you just a habitual liar?
You would never get to see me in real life because you are not hot enough. You may be the darling of Mooseturd, Wisconsin, but you would only get crickets if you came to SoCal. Your photo gallery does you no favors, but if that is the best you can look, so be it. It's an easy pass for most guys here.
You are generally strong medicine and I've been guilty of that, too. But your last post was just mean and nasty. It's not a good look for you. Shame on you.
In fact, while tastes can differ, I think she's fairly cute.
Every post she directs at me is also mean and nasty. You have been here long enough to know that people get what they sow with me. She wants to be mean to me, so I will be mean to her. I have often said I treat everyone here the same, monger and provider alike. I think it's insulting to treat someone differently due to gender, race, religion or anything else.
Treating women less than equal to the men here is not my style no matter what the issue is. If a provider wants to bash me, she can expect me to respond in kind. Even after this post, she is back for more on another thread.
With that said, what did I say that was so "mean" in the context of what she has been saying to me? You think she's cute, I don't, but that's a difference in opinion, which we are both entitled to. I won't second guess your tastes in women, if she's what you like, I don't have a problem, but no need to white-knight for someone who knowingly inserts herself into the fray. She should be able to take care of herself if she is going to mix up with the big boys. Shame on you for thinking all people are not equal.
that last post is an aberration.
And she’s much more than “fairly cute.” Her reviews give a good idea of why she has no problem getting all the clients she wants.
is what is resulting in her getting less than one review a month, then she should move to a bigger city. I don't know of any providers with a modest rate structure who can support themselves on ten sessions a month without a side job, like QB has, especially when her rate is $250.00/hr for all the bad service you could ever want. Lol
I use the multiplier of 10 to convert reviews to a customer count based on providers stating here for years that only about one out of ten customers write a TER review. Ergo, one review a month converts to ten customers actually seen. Have you seen her as a customer. Where did you get the info to support your claim that she is getting all the clients she wants? Did SHE tell you that? Lol
Ryan Conner, the aging porn star, has 11 reviews for December, 2023. According to your multiplier, she saw 110 guys in December. That has to be a world record. How about providers that have a dry spell of TER reviews. What value do you use?
and as I said, over the years, when we asked providers here how many of their customers write reviews, the standard answer was "about 10%." I think it's higher than that, too, but in this case, I'm just the messenger for what providers have said. However, Porn Stars get a much higher percentage of reviews than run of the mill providers because EVERYONE wants to write a review telling how they fucked a porn star, so with all due respect, it's a false analogy. Porn Stars I have seen say that about half of their customers write reviews.
And with that said, 110 customers is no where near a record. I have personally seen booking texts from top tier Kgirls in SoCal that prove they saw 130-140 customers in a month.
your statement that you only read posts directed at you. My post was a reply to, and directed at, Nicky. If you thought otherwise… well, it IS always about you, isn’t it.
I know many providers who have ZERO reviews here and have all the clients they want. So your assertion that a provider can’t have all the business she wants based on average number of TER reviews per month is wrong—like a lot of what you say about other people.
As for your questions… I’ve already answered them in this forum. Go fish.
yet to get a divorce? It's one thing to be a simp to the providers you are fucking, but it's worse being a simp to a woman you don't even want to have sex with.
There are no hard and fast rules about who I post to, only general trends, but it's usually the ones who are the biggest bullshitters , or the most honest truth sayers. If you have to ask which group you are in, then you really ARE clueless. Lol
regurgitating the same lies over and over, and also denying your own posts? Apparently not.
But thanks for yet more evidence that no one can trust anything you say here.
posting that you haven't had sex with your wife in many years? I don't remember if you said 5 or 15 without looking it up, but either way, it's not a lie.
Do you see the irony is you saying I'm lying when I'm just quoting what you have posted? Lol
Show me where I said anything denying my post. You have quite an imagination for a serial cheater.
You “forgot” what you posted above, two days ago. And you forgot our discussion about “cheating” from not long ago. And you lied, again, about your only quoting what I’ve posted here.
I’m not going to post the link to your post from last month where you said you only read posts directed at you, because you and anyone else who may care can easily find it, and when I’ve done that kind of thing before you didn’t apologize, you just shifted to a different (but old) line of attack.
No, what I’m going to give you is static. Go ahead and troll some more, keep making a fool out of yourself; I don’t care.
my posts. Now it seems you are talking about other kinds of posts. You say you have links, but then you don't have links to support your claims about what I said. You seem very confused.
I'm sorry you feel that my encouragement to you to get out of your loveless marriage is an attack. I'm just trying to get you to man up and do the right thing for both of you. By your own admission, you've stayed years with a woman who doesn't want you fuck her and vice versa. Could you have any smaller balls than you have by staying in this wretched situation?
CDL don’t you see the irony in judging this Scarlet while you have never missed an opportunity to let everyone know what a stud you are that all you 1000’s of kgirls don’t give a shit about anything but your $$$
Not to mention all your OTC girl’s clamoring to give it away for free which can neither be verified or believed.
In closing anyone that brags about his manhood anonymously is most likely full of shit. And you for sure fit the bill.
By the way you almost always use the word “irony” incorrectly.
There is nothing ironic about saying she’s busy and advertising here. I believe it makes perfect sense that since advertising so much is probably why she is so busy.
Now go back into your mom’s basement and take a break on creating your fake world.
I think we need to crown you The Most Insecure Man on TER…now wouldn’t that be ironic and TRUE
-- Modified on 3/3/2024 6:38:27 PM
Sure, any provider is likely interested in adding new clients, especially good ones. But they don't necessarily have to change their practices to draw these type of clients. Your way is not the only way. It's one way. But there are other ways. Like I said, it's their right to continue this practice and if it works, and you wouldn't know if it is or isn't, then there is no reason for them to change.
that Kgirls use because they NEVER reject someone on the basis of weight or hygiene, and here's why . . . .
They will require the customers to take a co-ed shower with them as soon as they arrive. It doesn't matter if he can't reach his butt-hole, they will wash it for him. Likewise with every other crease or crevice on his body. Before they take him/her into the shower, they will have REQUIRED the use of a cup of Listerine (referred in reviews as "the blue toast") WITH them. When they come out of the shower, they are spotless and the girl has thoroughly washed every part of the man's (or woman's) body that may come in contact with her mouth. This way, no services have to be refused, except in extraordinary circumstances such as the smell of bacteria from a gum infection, or evidence of sores or a rash in their crotch area. In some instances, a girl will take the customer back into the bathroom for another round of Listerine, or in severe cases, return the donation and tell him to take care of the infection and then come back in a few weeks.
By doing this with EVERYONE, regardless of their size, the big guys do not feel singled out for special treatment or discriminated against. I'm muscular and fit, but I get the shower and mouthwash just like anyone else. On rare occasions, a customer might balk at the shower using up five minutes of their time. Then the girl cuts back on the service to allow for the kinds of problems you say you have with smells, or else hands the donation back and tells him to ask the agency booker for a different girl.
TO MONGERS WHO ARE BIG: NEVER pass on the offer of a shower at the start of a session, and if there is ANYPLACE you can't reach, ask her to join you in the shower. It might save some embarrassment later on. It will be the best use of that five minutes you can get.
I am a big guy (not, can't reach everything big, but big). I have been asked for a head to toe selfie. Fortunately for me, so far, all of the ladies have been kind and have accepted my requests.
I suspect it is a very safe bet to say these guys are not in denial about their physical state. So one option is just to indicate on your web site you do not cater to anyone over X pounds or with a waist of X inches or more. These are in fact relevant aspects for providing the type of service you offer so it's not actually discrimation like it would be if you said they cannot buy food at your grocery store.
Alternatively you could require a higher payment to off-set the unpleasantness of additional challenges/work you need to do -- though I have had one lady say an oversized customers was actually "easy money" because all that was required (or even possible perhaps -- and you seem to suggest the same) was a hand job.
A third might be to embrase the situation and offer a special service that includes a good washing, brusshing their teeth and good mouthwash (I would suggest the bad breath is more likely do to poor dental cleaning and health) along with whatever sexual activities might follow. As a special offering I would assume a separate pricing (likely higher but perhaps just longer sessions to allow the hygiene related activities or be done well) would be appropriate and expected.
I do agree that there are clearly better and worse ways that you can communicate your position on the situation but certainly no reason you cannot be honest about the reality of the situation and the person.
"What's past is prologue." - Shakespeare
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This topic has come up many times over the years so there are a few aspects to look at.
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First, search "obese" on General and any local board you like. Years ago, scoed (Salt Lake) posted about losing weight (425 down to 200?) and jelloman (NY; 600+ down to 200ish?) also successfully dealt with his weight problem and they also described some of their experiences seeing Providers before slimming down. And many others.
http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion-boards/ter-general-board-12/re-congratulations-981326
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Second, some Providers more generally say in their ads (or during appointment arrangement) to please let them know of ANY special arrangements they might need to make. For example, if your peg leg has termites, she will want to have bug spray on hand. Oozing lesions? "Please schedule after they are healed." Seriously, I seem to recall a post about an obese client so she knew to put her mattress on the floor ahead of time and not to destroy her regular (not hospital grade) bed frame. Some Providers are very accommodating of any ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) condition: wheelchairs, prosthetics, etc.. But PLEASE let her know ahead of time!!!
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Third, etc.. MANY "regular" ads and websites emphasize that oral hygiene and body hygiene are very important and taken seriously. There is no additional info because it seems so obvious. However, although the hostess can ASK ahead of time, _decent_ clients with a non-standard issue will definitely let her know ahead of time and to discuss mutually acceptable ways to deal with the issues. Some people discuss the use of injections for ED on "60 and Over." Many Providers are fine with that and helping with the massage; some people, not just Provider-people, are squeamish around needles; they might ask a client to take care of that before arrival BUT THEY HAVE TO BE TOLD AHEAD OF TIME so they can discuss their discomfort around needles / injections.
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Before I forget ... some obese people (and non-obese people) have odors that are not always due to hygiene but due to hormone and other issues. They might take a shower with scented soap and start exuding odors from their sweat glands while still toweling off! Once again, something to discuss once the weight issue has been raised. "... I see, ... 600 lbs ... Are you able to use a regular stall shower or would you be more comfortable sitting in a bathtub? Do you require a shower seat of some sort? [I don't have one, but I can order one from Amazon, if you pay. Pick one out for me.] Do you have any related glandular issues I should know about [sniff, sniff]? Any allergies? ..." And so on.
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I think that including "I am very accommodating but please let me know of any special circumstances when requesting an appointment." in your ad is reasonable. Or, being absolutely certain to ask after the first contact and during scheduling, "Is there ANY special condition or circumstance I should know about ahead of time?"
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Having stuck to generalities, there were some other more specific suggestions about dealing with the nitty gritty of helping an obese client to get thoroughly clean to your satisfaction.
I have had this happen a few times as of late and not really sure how to handle it or what to say. The gentlemen in question have been morbidly obese and I know they have taken a shower but I am pretty certain that they cannot reach everything in question to be very clean. They are very nice but the smell is just beyond bad. And because of their out of wack digestive system they usually have very bad breath on top of it, so no kissing. And some are so large that all that is visible is the tip of the head, the rest is buried in (unclean) fat. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but not sure how to handle these situations. Any (not mean!) advise is appreciated.
A plumber wouldn't have patience for someone with an untenably dirty house, they'd show up, say "I can't service you", and then leave. Why should you be any different?
unstops shit from a toilet would complain about a dirty house, also at their prices?
That's got to be a dirty house!
I've got a buddy who owns a plumbing company, guy lays alot of pipe, and he's had his guys called out to hoarder houses before, and refused service because of the conditions.
This should work both ways. People should be realistic about there weight. I mean REALLY if you cant see it you sure cant maintain it ! For my own well being I have kept my weigh the same for many years. I also have had great times with curvy providers.
Them about it. Also these bastard are lazy and have a glut for junk food, and should be staying away from fast food joints ,instead get their fat ass on a diet and on a tread mill. Lazy ,nasty bastards who think money trumps everything.
Don't be nice to them,they can do better.No excuse.
I considered myself a fat tub of shit. I was just over 300 lbs. I’ve always been flexible, so hygiene wasn’t a problem. Being 6’ and having played sports and lifted weights for long stints throughout my life, I was overweight but would say only morbidly in the medical sense or technically, but there was a fairly muscular dude trapped under the flab.
Fast forward to finally getting my shit together and lost about 110 lbs from 2019-2021, I still think I’m fat but often told that I’m not and also told I’m buff. None of it matters when you have already lived a long portion of your life with self-imposed body shame issues. I was even in striking distance of abs in 2022 until I lost focus and started my current job that kicks my ass on a regular (aka found an excuse to get lax).
Needless to say, I found the best motivator to stay focused during those 2.5 years. For every ~40 lbs I lost, I uncovered another inch of pecker. I think that weight loss advertising for men should focus on that, and there might be fewer tubs out there. It may not be the same result for us all, but it is true! I definitely am way better in the sack too!
Oh man, years of body shame, that’s relatable. I’ve been similar all my life. When I tell people what I weigh they don’t believe it, and other people who weigh what I do look very different than I. Because there’s some solid underneath here. Well, that plus the rocks in my head. Still no denying I’m overweight and need to be healthier. I lost quite a bit of weight myself over the last 8 months or so but I’ve plateaued. Your post is motivating. Thanks for sharing.
-- Modified on 2/28/2024 11:54:02 PM
...by posting on here rather than PM'ing some of the familiar gals that roam the hallways. Good chance some of your big boys actually read what you wrote! I can't think that's gonna help their self esteem issues, lol!
Can gals use an alias? Might be a good time to find out
I guess fat shaming is part of the new cancel culture.
You as well as everyone who posted here knows that I was not fat shaming. I was asking a delicate question on how to handle the situation. I do have several clients that I see that are obese but are also very clean and I very much enjoy spending time with them, so no, it is not about the fat, it is about the cleanliness of the person in question. Yes, larger gentlemen seem to have more of an issue in the hygiene department than individuals that are smaller. Men that are not circumcised also need to take extra time to make sure they are hygienic before a visit. When I was drinking I know that I was not always providing the best service to clients and I did have a client tell me this. I was pretty hurt, but it also was the kick in the pants that I needed to get sober so I can be a better provider for my clients. No one wants to deal with a sloppy drunk, just like no one wants to be in a very intimate encounter with someone who does not smell very fresh. But having a great time with a provider is a two way street. If you were disappointed with a session but all of the reviews and everything you saw about the provider seemed to show a difference experience maybe it is time to reflect on what you could have done to make the experience a better one.
I was not referring to you.
Not fat shaming ,just the reality.They stink, and need to do something about it.
My big guys have always been the sweetest smelling! However, I have always kept that antibacterial pre-surgery soap in my shower & you can use it with a hot towel beforehand if you still want to see them. Or anytime you encounter odor. Odor is caused by bacteria so it’s an effective solution.