Here's a little ditty from Diane(minus Jack) Oh yea...life goes on....
If I had a penis I'd wear it outside, In cafes and car lots with pomp and with pride. If I had a penis I'd pamper it proper. I'd stay in the tub and use me as a stopper.
If I had a penis I'd take it to parties, Stretch it and stroke it and shove it at smarties. I'd take it to pet shows and teach it to stay. I'd stuff it in turkeys on thanksgiving day.
I'd rival my buddies in sports cars and stick-shifts. I'd shower my spire with girlies and gifts. I'd peek around corners, I'd aim at my toilet. I'd poke it at foreigners and soap it and oil it.
If I had a penis I'd run to my mother, Comb out the hair and compare it to brother. I'd lance her, I'd knight her, my hands would indulge, Pants would seem tighter and buckle and bulge.
A penis to plunder, a penis to push Cause one in the hand is worth one in the bush. A penis to love me, a penis to share... To pick up and play with when nobody's there.
I'd sit like a guy, I'd straddle the chair. I'd play with my fly, albeit with care. I'd dip it in chocolate, I'd stick it in sockets. Go to the movies with hands deep in pockets.
I'd stick it in vacuums on vacant verandahs, Gas-guzzling bottles and poodles and pandas And puddles and drain pipes and doggies and ditches, Pool halls and potholes and bottles and bitches.
If I had a penis, I'd climb every mountain. I'd force it on females, I'd pee like a fountain. If I could have a penis and still be a girl, I'd make much more money and conquer the world!
"Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis? Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong?" Or something very similar... It's been a long time. LOL. Actually I kind of like the ability to orgasm 5x in 20 minutes, thank you very much. :P Show me a penis that can do THAT!
Isn't it awfully nice to have a penis? Isn't it frightfully good to have a dong? It's swell to have a stiffy, It's devine to own a dick. From the tiniest little tadger To the world's biggest prick! So three cheers for your willy or John Thomas. Hooray for your one-eyed trousers snake. Your piece of pork, your wife's best friend, Your Percy or your cock. You can wrap it up in ribbons, You can slip it in your sock. Don't take it out in public, Or they will put you in the dock ... And you won't come back.
Not the poet Freud was (a skill I was unaware he had). But have often wondered what it would be like to feel sex inside, rather than around you. In addition to the obvious benefits pointed out by fair Rose, the completely different sensation would be very interesting.
I know about the other "angles" and while they are intriguing, the sensation would be totally different. Yup, I have Vagina envy. Problem is that I totally love women so I'd probably need both ...
I like my variety. A different color depending on my mood. Nothing like getting the proper flick motion with the black strap on, kinda like a flick of the hip while using a hula hoop. Nothing like watching your partner male or female arch in ecstacy, and then let your fingers do the walking.
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