That's pretty much what happens to me every single time.

It's just the way things go.

Happens to me often enough.  The worst was when I saw a really high end provider a few yars back.  She was a queen of escorts, beautiful, wicked smart and the sexual chemistry had a life of its own.  Thing is there was a parking situation where I had to leave  my flashers on while I got a permit from her to put in my car.  Turns out there wasn't the parking restriction, so I just stayed at her place, but left the blinkers on.  We got so into it that time went away.  A few hours later I get back to my car and the battery is dead.  She offers to give me a jump, but oh how her beautiful angry eyes bored me a new asshole.

Now I m normally an accomplished mechanic.  I can tear down and rebuild an engine in a weekend.  Not that day.  She drives a European SUV and mine was American.  So in jumping the vehicle, you need to reverse polarity on the battery cables.  Ooops, fucked too stupid to remember.  I blow something up - I call the Auto Club.   That guy sells me a new battery.  Still won't start.   I instinctively knew it was the battery fuse, but again - fucked too stupid to find it.  Get a tow home.

Next day I go check the car.  I realize that I was fucked so stupid, I couldn't find the battery fuse even though I was staring right at it.  For almost an hour.  After checking the diagram which tells me right where it is.  Next day - there it is right where it should be.  Took 5less than a minute to fix.  At least I got a new battery for twice the usual price.

Yep, I was definitely fucked stupid that day.

That is a good sign when you go home, er... pull over, and immediately jack off (or for girls, break out the vibrator) after a phenomenal session.  She sounds like a winner!!!!!

I couldn't find Penn Station.

I've been fucked stupid a few times actually..

One time.. I said the stupidest thing..
I cum. Look at her, and say..
"Speaking of Jellyfish"

But we weren't talking about jellyfish..
We were fucking..

The best part is she wasn't phased at all.
She was ready to talk about jellyfish!?!
What a great escort!

Which would explain why it took you so long to get home..

What the fuck where you on man?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HMUDVMiITOU&feature=kp
 

Posted By: Drunken Asian

I had a late night session. She showed me a good time to say the least. I was attacked the moment I met her and we tried just about every position in the book til both of us were drenched in sweat.  She squirted all over my dick too. I didn't expect to see such a hot girl who also performed so good.  
   
 On my way home, my gps kept saying "in 500ft turn left",  "recalculating... ",  "left turn ahead",  "recalculating... ",  "left turn ahead",  "when possible make a u turn" ,  "recalculating...."  LMAO  
   
 Basically,  I had missed just about everything the gps was telling me because I was happy with how she looked and the time we spent. I felt spaced out, totally drained but completely satisfied.    
   
 Eventually the gps gave up trying to make me turn and told me to keep going.  "Oh, I could definitely continue to just keep going". lol  
 So, for the next few minutes I just drove straight. Her smell kept reminding of all the positions we went through,  pillow talk,  and next thing I know I had a raging boner again.  How about that?  Pitching a tent while driving.  It's like my dick was trying to steer the wheel all by itself.  
   
 Well,  I eventually came to my senses and realized that I ended up in the middle of nowhere,  about an hour away from where I should be. It was already very late at night,  still had a raging boner. I pulled over to some parking lot, turned the car off,  and relieved myself cuz I didn't need a one-eyed driving assistant. Got back home safely...  
   
 Would you agree that it's safer to drive without a raging boner??  
   
 Would driving with a raging boner count as distracted driving?  
 or even DUI?  
   
 Did you ever try steering your wheel with your dick?  
 It isn't easy.... LMAO  
   
 

The intensity is almost unbearable! Happens every time I have a three hour session….afterwords I sit on my couch thinking…Wow! I love the aftertaste!!! Totally relate;-P

Mind if I sit on the passenger seat?

Steering the wheel with your dick sounds hot, rather it's possible or not haha!
I would so wanna watch this!

Just can't think, don't want to think, just go back over what we did with the stupidest grin on my face.

Must be a hormonal thing.

Now tell us who she is...

I re-discovered an insanely hot woman I'd had great times with.  She invited me to her place, which was two hours away.  I never drive that far.  Ever.  But for her I did.  Shortly after I left, I got a text: "See you at noon, lover. I'm so glad you've decided to return home. To show you how much I appreciate my lover, I will dress up for you and submit to your every desire."
I got a raging boner, of course, and every time I looked at that damn text it came back.  When I arrived, I told her she'd been very bad to tease me that way and found many ways to punish her for it, which delighted her to no end.
I did not get lost on the way home but believe the shit-eating grin on my face blinded many drivers coming in the opposite direction.  To anyone headed southbound on the Garden State Parkway this afternoon who crashed due to sun glare, I'm terribly sorry.