"And if you happen to be a total freak; a skank; a skeezer; a lowlife, my world is NOT open to you. (of course you wouldn't admit to being these things, but come on, you know who you are.) IF however, you are well-balanced, well-rounded, SAFE, and GENUINELY fit & attractive, and NOT a complete basket-case, (just an all-around good person / couple looking for some fun), then come into my world... I'll leave the door unlocked. (wink-wink)"

Awww c'mom pretty baby... howzabowt a winkydink for the ol cap'n ???

Miko Lee is seeming more reasonable by the second.

it's hard to see life the way I once saw it. i.e. when I didn't know or appreciate what the hobby could do for one's whole existence.

Paraphrasing what Bookman has said repeatedly, there is a hidden presumption that men should be required to work their way though a labyrinth to arrive at a sexual place with women, and men who cut corners lack respect for the labyrinth, therefore should be denied respect if it becomes common knowledge that the consort with Lilith and her offspring.


Those personals I quoted from were written by women in a section devoted to sexual encounters, not primarily in search of dating or marriages. I could not help but sense that many of them knew little about sex OR relationships, and from the photos, much about controlling their weight either.

There appears to be something in the way that our culture channels emotional development that keeps a significant percentage of our adult population in an unformed state.

That unformedness really shows up when people try to connect with each other and offer up these half baked declarations of selfhood as proxies for their identities.

The social theory is that the persuit of the hobby is immature. Said to stunt the normal development of a male adult. Leads to the Peter Pan Syndrome, or is a consequence of the same.

Absolute rubbish. It allows men to cut through the Ghordian Knot of quid-pro-quo sexual intercourse and deal with women minus the background noise of churning reproductive imperatives, i.e. fantasizing about everyone you meet who passes the boinkability test.

My standards for whom I would want to form a long term relationship with have increased significantly. I can see beautiful young women and admire their sexuality without desiring it. The knowledge that one can have sex with several in a row in the space of a few hours absolutely undercuts the mechanism of desiring most what one cannot have.

Instead of being alone, I believe that I am able to be with women more deeply, more respectfully, more empathetically, in an egoless way. There's not the same concern nagging me that I am either passing or failing a potential mate test somewhere back in our hypothalamuses.

Even when my escort tunred GF abruptly needed to (temporarily ?) end our relationship, I felt no rejection, no anger, precious little "self stuff"... she has her reasons, she's a good woman with some heavy baggage, I'm here for her if she needs me, I'm not going to force anything is she thinks she doesn't.

I guess this whole adventure has brought me a greater measure of inner peace, self acceptance, other acceptance, that I would have imagined possible before I got into it. There's a kind of sublimity there, transcendence of a lot of stupidity and self defeating life scripts.

That's a not bad foundation to build the rest of your life on.

Charlie Sheen's quote is "I don't pay them to come, I pay them to leave."  Not much of a difference in meaning, but makes it a little more humorous.